"American Pie" is by Don McLean; Standard Apology. If the words and the
rhythm don't match it's because I've never heard the full version before. I
was originally going to do a parody of "The Saga Begins," the most
excellent "Phantom Menace" songfic by Weird Al, but decided to use the
whole original version because once I got started I couldn't stop! Please
don't flame due to plot/quote discrepancies, there's only so much you can
do with a set amount of syllables!

Matrix-ican Pie

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How the my old life used to make me smile
And I knew that if I got my chance
I could wake up from this trance
And maybe I'd be happy, for a while

But February made me shiver
As I was set up and delivered
Bad news with each footstep
With every word my misstep

I do remember I tried to cry
As the Agents gave me the evil eye
Erased my mouth and put a bug in my hide
The day my reality died

And I was thinkin'
Good-bye Mr. Anderson's life
Went from hacker to a fighter in the blink of an eye
I left my home and pushed the green world aside
And soon I'm gonna know how to fly
Soon I'm gonna know how to fly

Hey, did you know that our world's all greenish code
And now we're no longer born but grown
As batteries inside a red slime mold
And do you believe that you're breathing air
That's not real wind blowing through your hair
It's only what the programs know

"Well I know that she's in love with you
But you're not the One, you know it's true"
The Oracle gave me the blues
How she hates giving bad news

I was thinking how it was just my luck
When a déjà vu signaled the hard line was cut
I almost died but Tank saved my butt
And got that traitor fried

And I was thinkin'
Good-bye Mr. Anderson's life
Went from hacker to a fighter in the blink of an eye
I left my home and pushed the green world aside
And soon I'm gonna know how to fly
Soon I'm gonna know how to fly

Now for ten years Morph's been like their dad
And I knew he was in it bad
And this is not how it was supposed to be
I volunteered to rescue him
Trin said then in a voice so grim
"You'll need my help and you agree"

While we shot soldiers to the ground
The Agents tried to wear Morph down
One in partic'lar was intent
Smith had some issues to vent
As Trin and I fought up upon the roof
I learned I was nearly bulletproof
Then Agent Jones vanished with a poof
Our skills were bona fide

And I was thinkin'
Good-bye Mr. Anderson's life
Went from hacker to a fighter in the blink of an eye
I left my home and pushed the green world aside
And soon I'm gonna know how to fly
Soon I'm gonna know how to fly

Helter-skelter to a subway shelter
Trin and Morph vanished with an electric whirr
There's a gunshot, now Smith's coming fast
I put my moves up on full blast
Then he let loose with his punches massed
It's hopeless, but I thought I could outlast

Now there comes our second wind
Here comes a train and now I'm pinned
He said, "And now here comes your death"
I thought "Oh go save your breath"
I leapt straight up with all I had
The Agent did not, oh that's too bad
Now it's time to run, he's raving mad
I think I've hurt his pride

And I was thinkin'
Good-bye Mr. Anderson's life
Went from hacker to a fighter in the blink of an eye
I left my home and pushed the green world aside
And soon I'm gonna know how to fly
Soon I'm gonna know how to fly

Now I'm running all over the place
Those Agents won't give me no space
That exit line's so far away
So c'mon Neo be nimble, Neo be quick
I opened the door and heard a click (and)
Now darkness' spreading through all of me
Oh and as I stared for what seemed an age
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No warnings I could tell
As eight more times Smith's hammer fell
Now I'm falling through the darkest night
I sensed Trinity telling me to stay and fight
I must've given those Agents quite a fright
I stood up after I died

And I was thinkin'
Good-bye Mr. Anderson, 'bye
Went from hacker to a fighter in the blink of an eye
I left my home and pushed the green world aside
And soon I'm gonna know how to fly
Soon I'm gonna know how to fly

The Agents tried to shoot me through
But I stopped their bullets 'cause I wanted to
Smith snarled and leapt my way
I fought him now unlike before
My Kung-fu was no longer a chore
And he crashed as I kicked him far away
Yet still he tried to fight me back
I then unleashed a new attack
I'm not sure just what I did
But there's one less Agent in the Power Grid
Now the girl that I admire the most
Called, "Get out right now before you're toast!"
Now we're together, and I don't mean to boast
I'm alive after I've died

And I was thinkin'
Good-bye Mr. Anderson's life
Went from hacker to a fighter in the blink of an eye
I left my home and pushed the green world aside
And soon I'm gonna know how to fly
Soon I'm gonna know how to fly

And I was thinkin'
Good-bye Mr. Anderson's life
Went from hacker to a fighter in the blink of an eye
I left my home and pushed the green world aside
And soon I'm gonna know how to fly
Soon I'm gonna know how to fly!