She woke with a start, chest heaving to the beat of a horror she loathed to remember. Fumbling around for her glasses, she managed to gain some semblance of orientation after a moment and rubbed the sweat off her face.
It had been so long since she got caught up in the past that she was thoroughly frazzled when she woke up. Perhaps it was due to her visit to the bar yesterday, the first in a while, even though she knew it was a bad idea. Knowing that sleep would not come for a while (if at all), she decided to wake up much too early and have breakfast much too soon. After all, it was only her first day back, so she was allowed more time to gain her bearings.
She sighed as vestiges of her dream popped back into her semi-groggy mind.
Piper. Fuck.
The second day was spent wandering the place she called home for the better part of the afternoon, before going back after being overcome by the exhaustion she had gotten used to ever since that day. On the third day, she decided to do at least one productive thing, so she went back to her now empty house, stumbling through dust and inertia to settle on photographs she'd forgotten they had ever taken. She took a few back, mostly the ones of her mother and her when they were younger, with an unspoken promise to come back and settle more things.
When she returned to the apartment, she threw the frames down upon her bed and huffed out a breath as she laid to rest, before gingerly placing them on the bedside nightstand.
On the sixth night, she went to the bar against her better judgement, favouring a much needed drink over her fear of running into people she knew. With few well placed words and a wink at the bartender, she was soon nursing a glass in her hand, fingers playing idly with the umbrella the bartender had added in for her.
She heard the footsteps coming to a halt before she registered the voice behind her.
"It's a little cold out for a margarita, no?"
Piper, fuck.
The woman in front of her was essentially the same, but what caught her most were her eyes, lined with a weariness that had not been there before (or maybe it had been there near the end, but she had refused to see it). They reflected the dullness in her own, the bright-eyed wonder that was once there now missing. She was still beautiful (though Alex was loathe to admit it), beautiful enough to turn eyes besides her own.
She sighed, turning back to her drink.
"What do you want, Piper?" Good, she thought, at least she managed a straight-up answer with no shitty beating around the bush.
"I saw you around so I just thought I'd say hi."
Alex scoffed and placed the tiny umbrella back into her glass.
"Well you've said it now, so bye."
"Look, I get that you're mad—"
"Mad? Why would I be mad? Can't I have gotten over you abandoning me and leaving me to fend for myself? Why would I still be mad over you cruelly breaking my fucking heart two years ago?"
Shit, she'd said too much. From her watering eyes, Piper thought so too. But she never made to leave, and Alex admired her resilience (it was still frustrating though –she really should not have come to this bar).
"I'm really sorry, and I really just wanted to talk, please. But if you don't want to, I understand."
Her words were halting, hesitant, yet they had a certain fluidity, as if she had rehearsed the words. She took a step backwards for a fraction of a distance, but then she turned to face Alex fully, and settled herself into the adjacent chair.
Alex took a long sip of her drink, sighing as the slurping sound of straw meeting empty glass signaled the end of her stalling.
"I'm not ready for this yet."
From the corner of her eye, she saw Piper wringing her hands, a nervous quirk that she apparently had not grown out of.
"I understand, take all the time you need. My number hasn't changed."
Unlike yours, Alex could almost hear the blonde thinking. She looked up into Piper's eyes, already feeling her resolve crumbling, and quickly turned away before more damage was done.
"Please, just call me."
She did not acknowledge the blonde's exit as she stood up, footsteps fading into the cacophony of bar conversations. Sighing again, she ordered another margarita.
Fuck me.
It had been three weeks since her run-in with the blonde, and she had not called her. A part of her wanted to just say screw it, and find Piper to kiss her to oblivion, yell at her, to do something at least. But every time she picked up the cell phone, she would stop at the last digit and fall short of the call icon, succumbing to the part of her that succumbed to ennui. This is just as well, she figured. Perhaps this is closure enough.
And so for the past three weeks, she had devoted herself to her task, easing out of the job as seamlessly as possible and transferring clients and mules to Fahri while overseeing renovations for her new place. It had been surprisingly easy for her to get out of the business, perhaps because she had been owed a few favours, and more likely because Fahri had always had a soft spot for her (even though he would gruffly say otherwise).
In need of a break, she entered the bar again after she was done for the day. She strode over to the same spot she had taken three weeks back, calling for a beer this time. Halfway through her beer, she felt a figure slip surreptitiously onto the seat beside her and call for a martini.
"Hey."
"What're you doing here?"
Piper sipped at her martini.
"Drinking."
Alex sighed at her seemingly innocuous comment, setting her beer down with a little more force than necessary.
"Ok."
They sat there in silence, oblivious to the din of the surrounding chatter, for too long. Finally, Alex stood up and made to leave.
She did not have to turn back to know that Piper's gaze was focused on her until she exited the bar.
The next few days, she would get a drink at the same spot and Piper would enter later, and they would sit in silence before Alex left first. She was growing uncomfortable with how comfortable this was becoming, but she had no way to stop it, to prevent herself from going into the bar and waiting for, even anticipating Piper's arrival. The slow inching of tentative fingers toward prone ones seemed to indicate Piper's growing confidence too.
But how could this possibly end?
A nagging voice in the back of her slightly more sober mind always uttered the same question as soon as she brushed past the door. What could they possibly do? To be honest, she could still picture the two of them side by side. Piper would be looking in wonder into display windows while eating an ice cream, not noticing Alex looking in wonder at her. But all too soon this fledgling image in her mind would be quelled, and something would forcefully turn her mind in the direction of two years ago, as if daring her to look away.
But she had to, did she not? Frankly, she was getting tired of her own fruitless thoughts. Yes, she could admit that she was somewhat nearer to talking terms, but no, that was still not by a long shot, according to her pride. Yes, she could acknowledge Piper's tenacity in trying to repair tattered bridges, but no, she did not have the materials or the strength (presumably) to do it. But somehow, she still found it in her to return to the bar and wait.
And one day, as she made the mistake of chancing a glance at Piper, and found her staring back, her mind taunted her as she wordlessly wrote her number on Piper's hand.
Piper never called her.
That was a good thing, she supposed. It turned out that after giving her number, the slow onset of trepidation kicked in and she all but bolted out of the door as soon as she deemed it would not arouse suspicion and feelings of rejection. She realised that Piper still knew her well, unconsciously, like the chapters to a fondly dog-eared book. It was as if nothing had changed between them –Piper would still come in after a while, and they would still sit in near silence that felt deafeningly quiet and too distracting at the same time, with the occasional hum or clink of ice against glass. Alex liked the consistency. It felt safe, comforting somehow.
Three days later, Piper did not appear.
Alex tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps she was late because of work (they had not discussed anything personal –or anything at all). Perhaps she was held up by a family emergency. So Alex waited, but Piper never came.
She was absent again the next day. Alex stayed until the bartender glanced at her while wiping down his now empty tables. She ruffled her hand through her hair, and tried not to look back as she walked away.
Fucking straight girls.
That was her last thought before she fell into a fitful sleep.
There was a ring on her phone a couple of days later. She glanced at the last four digits on the caller display before throwing the cell onto the sofa rather violently, running a frustrated hand through her hair. As the cell rang on, she opened to a page on her book and stared at the same sentence for the duration of the call.
She stared at it for a long while more before turning in.
The calls stopped coming, and Alex was not sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed. At the very least, there were no more distractions to take her attention away from running her new place. She had been delaying the official opening of the shop for quite some time; perhaps now was a good time as any to open it up to the public, since there was now nothing else to divert her attention (no matter how welcome it was).
On the day she was set out to open, though, an unfamiliar number showed up on her caller display. Alex had barely uttered a greeting before the person on the other end launched into a crackly but loud tirade. She could barely make out what the other person was saying, but figured it was not that nice after catching words like "bitch" and "asshole" splayed about in a desultory fashion. She stepped out of the new diner and pressed the cell nearer to her now-sore ears.
"Wait, hang on. Who the fuck are you?"
"Who am I? Well I'll give you three guesses, Supercunt, though it will pain me if you don't get it right on the first try."
"Wha –why the fuck are you calling me? Did your best friend tell you shit again? Because for your info–"
"No, she didn't want to tell me about you, if that's what you're asking. I finally forced it out of her after she landed her dumb ass in the hospital because of you."
"What did I do–"
"She got into a car accident you asshole, and she's been trying to call you but you refused to pick up! I know she might have been a little out of line two years ago but give it a fucking rest already! It's not like you were the perfect saint either. She's trying so fucking hard but you're not even giving her a chance, licking your fucking wounds like you were the only one who got hurt. Well let me tell you something you fucker, she never stopped loving you. She left but she tried calling you, going to your old house and waiting for days like a fucking stalker and only stopped when I threatened to tell her family about you. So stop being a fucking cunt and ball up or God help you."
A long silence followed Polly's rather impressive rant.
"Where is she?"
"I –what?" Apparently Polly was not expecting it to be so simple.
"Where the fuck is she?"
"She's in Hartford you ass–"
Alex tucked her cell in her pocket and left.
Fuck, Pipes.
She made it to the hospital in less than an hour, stomping up to the registration counter and demanding the location of Piper Chapman. Alex managed to spot Polly near the vending machines, thankful that her appearance had not drastically changed and that she had at least bothered to remember Piper's best friend and how she looked. Polly heard the heavy footfalls and turned around, glaring at the bane of her best friend's existence and brandishing the steaming cup of coffee in her hand as a makeshift weapon.
"I wish I can throw something at you right now, but Piper will kill me."
"Where is she?"
"Oh so now you want to see her–"
"Don't fuck with me Polly. Not now."
Polly brought her coffee cup down and stayed quiet for a while, leaving Alex to do the same. She finally pointed ahead of her to Piper's room.
"Don't fuck this up Supercunt. Or I'll owe you."
The door opened with a bang, something Piper was used to given her best friend's overly dramatic antics.
"Pol, if you're going to harp on me and Alex please just go away, my nice meds are kicking in and I don't want you ruining their effects."
"Hey."
At this, she whipped her head up faster than was comfortable, wincing at the headache it induced. Alex rushed to her side and adjusted her pillow so she was sitting up, before putting some distance between them again, fiddling with her glasses.
"Hey. What're you doing here?"
"What happened to you?"
Piper shifted on her bed.
"Oh that was nothing, just a minor accident–"
"Minor? Did you know how worried I was when I got the call from Polly? What the fuck did you do this time?"
Alex caught Piper's glance to the stand on the right, and blinked at her.
"Wait, you still have my ring?"
"Yeah, almost lost it when I dropped it in the parking lot though. I was lucky I found it."
"Wait, so you're saying you got into a car accident because of this ring?"
Piper flushed as she took in Alex's incredulous gaze, huffing as she crossed her arms.
"It was a good ring, and it's none of your business if I didn't want to lose it. Why're you here anyway, to scold me and make me feel like an idiot like the inconsiderate asshole you are?"
"Jesus, Pipes –"
"Look, I'm sorry, God knows I've said this enough, but I don't feel like doing this right now –"
"Yeah well fucking get used to it when you do such stupid things! One woman I love is already gone, I don't need another to fucking follow suit!"
At once, Piper's retort died on her lips, her mouth morphing into a surprised "O". Alex took in her baffled face as she looked up to red-rimmed eyes, and saw her frown deepen.
"Wait, what?"
It was all she could manage in her drug-induced state, and even then she managed to look sharp enough. Alex sighed and inched closer to the bed.
"Alright."
"Alright, what?"
"Jeez Pipes, for a college graduate you're dense as bricks"
She did not recoil when hesitant, clammy fingers wrapped around her own.
"Does –does this mean –?"
Alex sighed as she looked into tearing eyes stubbornly refusing to close, and saw as the medicines began kicking in. She squeezed Piper's hand, the promise palpable.
"I'll deal. Can't have you dying for something this stupid, you idiot"
"Ok"
.
.
.
.
Notes:
Hey thereeeeee reader! This is my longest story yet, and I hope I've done Vauseman some justice! Been sitting on this for far too long that my hopes and dreams for the ending kinda fell flat so oooops. But still hope you've enjoyed it! :D Vauseman OUT.