Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
Spoilers: Story contains spoilers from seasons 1-4
Special Thanks: I'd like to give a special thanks to Milander who helped me with this story.
##########
She's right over there Jim." the officer told Brass as he made his way over to
Sara sitting in the cheap plastic seat.
He had received the call the earlier that morning at his home. Normally this
would have been Grissom's job but he was away at a convention for a couple of
days so that left Catherine, and with the way Sara and her got along, John had
mentioned that Sara had asked for him.
He took the seat next to her and grabbed her hand, "Are you ok?" he asked
She looked up with teary eyes and nodded. "Thank you for coming Brass, I didn't
know who else to call, I didn't want Catherine here, lord knows she hates me
enough and if she were here she would be rubbing this in my face."
Jim shook his head in agreement because Catherine always did have something
against Sara. "Lets get you out of here." Jim said as he stood up and took
Sara's hand, as a gentleman would.
Sara smiled at this and he noticed, "What?"
"You're just a gentleman that's all, it's not often that I get this type of
treatment, in fact I don't get it at all except from you, why is that?"
"Well, lets see, the guys you hang out with are asses!" He joked
She laughed as they walked out of the station. He helped her into his truck and
he then got in and started driving. It was quiet on the way to Sara's apartment;
Jim was thinking of ways to help the situation and Sara was just thinking. When
they arrived at her apartment he then again helped her out and walked her to her
door, she let them in and got them both some bottled water. They both then sat
down on her couch.
"Sara, what happened?"
"It was stupid really, Warrick, Nick, and I went out to celebrate Nick's almost
promotion after shift, we all had 3 beers then left. I felt fine to drive, then
next thing I know I've got the state patrol behind me asking me to how much I've
had to drink. They took me in and I blew a .09. You know the rest. They told me
that they had to call my supervisor in but with Grissom gone that meant
Catherine, that's when I asked if they could call you, I just can't deal with
Catherine's shit right now."
Jim sat there listening to her trying to see where she was right now, both
mentally and physically. She looked tired, and run down. First Hank cheated on
her, and then the explosion happened, after that she looked defeated. She didn't
know this, but he had kept tabs on her, Jim had always liked Sara. She came in
with fresh eyes, and a fresh heart. He had kept his distance because of the
feelings she had for Grissom and he knew Grissom had for her, but doubted that
Grissom would ever make a move. He hated the way Grissom treated Sara but what
right did have to say anything?
He then decided what plan of action to take. "Sara, this is what WE are going to
do. I'm on vacation; I know that you have the next two days off because those
are your normal days off and you never take them, but you will this time. I'm
going to go down to the station and schedule you for some more time off. NO one
will know it was me that did this ok, I've got connections in HR so don't worry
about it, then we are going to go to my cabin. It's in the middle of nowhere,
which will be good for you. You need rest, where no one will bother you. You can
take walks in the woods, swim, read do anything you like, hell I even have a
generator so you can watch TV. Grissom gets back tomorrow so don't worry about
leaving the team short handed. I'm going to put down that you are on an
emergency leave. I want you to call your parents and tell them to cover for you.
If, and when, Grissom calls, tell them to tell him that you are there for a
family matter and you will be back when your paperwork states." By this time Jim
had moved side ways on the couch and was staring straight at Sara.
Sara, in the meantime was speechless, she knew he was right; she did need to get
away to think things through. "Ok, Brass, you're right, I trust your judgment.
What do I need to pack?"
"Well, it's going to be hot, but we'll be in the woods, so a little of
everything. If you need anything we can drive to the nearest town and pick it
up." As he was talking Jim became more animated, his mind was going over the
extra stuff he would need to pack. He was already making a list in his mind for
the store since he knew she was a vegetarian.
Jim, stood up and smiled down at Sara, "Go pack, it shouldn't take me that long
with HR, then I'll go get my stuff. It's 6am now; I'll try to be back by 8. The
drive time to the cabin is a few hrs so you should be able to sleep along the
way. Any questions?"
"Not that I can think of." Sara said as she stood up. She walked Jim over to the
door and gave him a hug "Thank you so much Jim, I owe you big time."
Jim had stepped back and smiled at her, "Hey, that's what friends are for."
##########
True to his word Jim was back by 8, he didn't have any problems with getting the
paperwork done at CSI headquarters. He had let Judy; in HR use the cabin awhile back so she
owed him one. She stated that it was normal to have Sara sign the paperwork
before leaving, but if anyone should ask, meaning Grissom, she would tell him
that it was a special case and Sara could sign the paperwork when she got back.
After that Jim went to the store and picked up some more food. Since he didn't
know what all Sara liked, so he figured that they could stop later on in the
trip.
Jim approached Sara's apartment with a good feeling. He knew that she was tired,
not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, and it was about time that
someone took care of her. Everyone was in his or her own world; Grissom had his
own worries, first his hearing, then his own insecurities which were always
there. Nick had only cared about the promotion so all he had done was kiss ass
all over the place. Warrick was a different story; he stayed aloof on purpose so
no one could get close. Catherine, well, lets not go there. Sara had some blame
as well, she was a workaholic and she would not let anyone in, not that anyone
cared, but he did, he just didn't know how to approach her.
Jim knocked on her door and she answered right away, "Ready?" he asked.
"Yeah, here's one of my bags and I'll get the second. I'm just going to make
sure everything is shut off."
"Oh and Sara, leave your cell phone here, we won't get a signal anyways." Jim
said with a knowing smile. He took her bag down and waited for her by the truck.
Sara blushed as she took the phone out of her purse and put it on the counter.
She checked everything one last time and locked the door. She made her way down
to the truck and gave her other bag to Jim.
"Thanks", she said smiling
"Not a problem." He said as he helped her in the truck. He walked around,
climbed in and they were on their way.
"So tell me where we are going. It's a cabin right? How big is it? Does it have
a shower, running water?" Sara was just now starting to get into the vacation
thing; she was tired but excited.
Jim just started laughing, " Well, it belonged to a distant relative, it's a
place called Beaver Lake. I didn't know about it until my lawyer called and told
me that it was mine. That was about 5 years ago, since then I've made it up
there a few times a year, when I first went up there it was very rustic, since
then I've paid a contractor to upgrade it. Contrary to popular belief I like my
amenities. There's a town about 30 miles away that we can explore if you want.
Which reminds me, I stopped by and got some food for you but I'm not all into
the vegetarian thing so we can stop by a store and get more supplies. I've got
propane and once that gets going we'll have plenty of hot water, there's also an
oven and stove."
Sara sat there in shock, and started to tear up. Not once in her 4 years here
had anyone cared enough to do that for her. She got quiet and Jim noticed.
"Hey, you ok?" he asked
"Yeah, I just didn't think anyone cared enough to do that for me."
"I've always cared Sara," he smiled and patted her leg.
Things got quiet after that. Sara settled in and slept since she was tired. She
had worked the night before and the drama that followed exhausted her. Jim
welcomed the quiet since it gave him time to think. It would take a few hours to
get up there so they had some time. Since it was going to be a week he wanted to
get her on a normal schedule. Sleep at night and awake during the day. From what
he knew of her and was told, she didn't sleep much. He suspected that she
suffered from nightmares, and was too ashamed to speak of them, hopefully during
this week that would change. As they neared the last town he looked over to
where she slept, she looked so peaceful and he hated to wake her up but they
needed to get supplies for her. As he pulled into the parking lot and parked he
nudged her with his hand, "Hey, sleepy head, time to get some food for you. Wake
up."
Sara sat up sleepily and rubbed her eyes, "Where are we?"
"We are in Winlock, it's the last town before we get to the cabin. Come on lets
go." He hopped out of the truck and went around to help her down. They walked
into the store and grabbed a basket. Sara was skeptical about what they would
find but she was surprised about how many of the products she liked that they
did have. It was fun for Brass to see Sara shop; she was actually having fun
shopping in a Po-dunk town and she had a smile on her face, that's all he cared
about. As they were bringing her things up to be paid for he told her that he
was paying for the items, "After all I did make you come with me." He told her
with a wink.
Sara didn't know what to think of this side of Jim Brass, he'd always been easy
going around her, but this was a side that she had never had seen. She felt bad
about that, there had been the occasional breakfast with everyone but they were
still in work mode. She doubted anyone besides Grissom knew this side existed.
She liked it, Sara felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. There
were no expectations that she felt from him, and he was taking care of her,
which felt good.
He turned to her and asked, "Have you ever fished? We can get you a license, the
lake that the cabin is on has trout, we can catch them and then release."
"That sounds like fun, lets do it." This trip was sounding more and more
adventuresome to Sara. They made one more stop to get her a temporary license
and they continued on their way.
As they made their way up to the cabin Sara was asking Jim more questions about
the area. It took about another 45 min before they finally arrived; it was just
after 1pm.
"This is beautiful Jim," Sara said as she looked around, the lake wasn't that
big, which was fine, as far as she could see there were only two other houses on
the lake. She had walked down to the shoreline, and saw big pine trees all
around, but most of all it was quiet.
Jim had started unloading from the truck into the cabin. The cabin wasn't big
and had only one bedroom; this wasn't a problem since the couch was a
hide-a-bed. He took both his and Sara's bags in the bedroom and then started
putting the food away. When he was done he joined Sara down by the lake, she was
sitting on the sandy beach and he sat beside her.
"It's so quiet here."
"Yeah, that's why I come, there's only two other cabins here as you can see, and
I've only seen people in those places a couple of times. I love to come here to
get away from it all. I have no worries, deer come down and drink, I've
even seen a Momma bear with her cub. I moved inside when I saw her but it was
still an awesome site." Jim then stood up and looked down at Sara. "It's now
1:45, are you hungry because I am. I'm not the worlds greatest cook but I can
make some good scrambled eggs or I can do up a sandwich."
Sara stood up, took his hand and dragged him towards the cabin. "No, I'll do
that. But first show me around the place." And he did just that.
At first Sara argued with him about the bedroom but seeing that she was getting
nowhere with him she conceded. She then made them both lunch. For her it was a
cucumber and sprout sandwich, for him it was turkey. For some reason it didn't
bother her to make his sandwich. She joined him on the porch and they sat in
silence. Finally Jim asked a question that had been on his mind for some time.
"Sara, I'm going to ask a question and I don't want you to be mad at me, so here goes.
Do you think you have a problem with drinking?"
Sara sat there for a few minutes thinking about her answer. She had known that
this would be a topic of conversation since he'd talked about his past somewhat
earlier on in the year. "I've thought about that since our last little talk. I'm
not a heavy drinker; I go home and have a couple of beers every now and then. Do
I think I have a problem no, am I afraid that it will become something more,
yes. I'm not happy; I haven't been for a while. I go to work then I go home,
it's the same everyday. It used to be enough for me but it's not anymore. I
don't know if you know this or not but a couple of years ago I put in for a LOA,
I told Grissom that if he didn't sign it I'd resign. But I stayed, because I
thought that I could work it out."
Jim knew about the LOA, Grissom had told him that night. Grissom being Grissom
was worried about the lab but then changed his tune when he was with Catherine
and ordered Sara a plant. "I did know about that, Grissom called me into his
office after you had left and we talked. I asked him why you wanted to leave and
he talked around the issue, like he always does. When it comes to you he hides,
as you well know." She looked over at him in a flash, he continued, "I finally
got it out of him that he acted like an ass and insulted you. You were right, he
didn't respect you, and I feel he still doesn't. Just look at the choices he has
made. I hate that he hurts you and I have no doubt that he still does it." By
this time Jim was agitated and took a deep breath. "I'm just tired of seeing you
hurt, that's all. NOW, with your happiness, I want you happy Sara, and I want
you here, but if you need to leave Vegas just know that I would understand and
support that decision. You don't have to worry about what happened this morning,
I have it all covered, there was no report written as a courtesy. But promise me
that if you feel the need to either go out OR go home and have a few you'll
call, I'll come over and get you out of there. You can come over to my place and
crash, we can talk, watch T.V. or what ever. Ok."
Sara, just nodded, so touched that this guy could be so sweet. With that he got
up, took her plate with his and went inside. Sara continued to sit outside for
about another hour just meditating on what Jim had said. She didn't realize how
much Jim had protected her, and for that she was grateful. She then turned her
thoughts to Grissom, she was tired of his shit, she had warned him that one day
it might be to late and it was. After she had heard what he said to Dr. Laurie
she knew he'd never commit to anything. But even before that she had given up on
him; she just didn't want to finally admit it to herself. But could she still
work with him? It hurt, he treated her like crap, it felt like the only friend
she had here was Jim. It was funny, she started thinking of him as Jim and not
Brass. Right now she couldn't think anymore, her mind was mush with so many
thoughts going through it. She got up to see what Jim was doing. She found him
in the back in a huge hammock with his eyes closed. As she approached he opened
them.
"What's up?" He asked, curiously
"Well, I thought about going for a hike, and since I don't know my way around
here I was wondering if you'd like to join me?"
"Sure, why don't you go get your bathing suit on, we'll take a trail that goes
to the other side of the lake and we can go swimming. We'll get some color on
you, you're pale girl." He said jokingly
With that Sara ran back inside and got changed, she moved out of the room so Jim
could change and they were on their way. It was a nice walk through the woods
that took about 45 min and when they got to the other end of the lake they
jumped in the water. It felt so good since it was about 95 degrees. Jim was
right, she was pale, but thank god she tanned easily and within the hour she was
looking better. They swam for about an hour before heading back to the cabin.
Both were tired and wanted to settle down for the night. Sara had offered to
cook stir-fry and Jim accepted. Jim was mildly surprised that a meal could taste
so good without any meat and told her so. Sara just laughed and told him that
she could introduce him to some other dishes if he wanted.
Jim got the generator started and they had the main lights and TV, she asked about a shower.
"Ladies first, the tank is big enough so take one as long as you like." He said
as he sat down and tuned in some sports channel. At this Sara just laughed as
she walked in the bedroom, he told her to leave her cell at the apartment
because of no signal but he could get ESPN out in the middle of nowhere. Of
course one of the upgrades was some type of gadget so he could get the channels
he wanted. By the time Sara got done with her shower Jim had cleaned up after
dinner. He also had made the couch into the bed he'd be sleeping in. After her
shower Sara wasn't sure what to do. Should she join him or just go to her room,
deciding to join him she went out and saw what he was watching.
"Hockey?"
"Yep, I get the hockey package every year so I don't miss any games. It's great.
Was there something you wanted to watch? This is the same feed as Vegas so the
shows would be the same this time of night."
"Well, considering I'm at work this time of night I don't know what's on so I'll
just watch this if that's ok with you, but if I have questions don't get mad,
ok. Do you mind if I sit with you or do you want me in the chair."
Ever the gentleman Jim patted the seat next to him and told her to join him. He
even went and got her pillows from the room so she could lean back.
Sara felt so relaxed. She hadn't felt that relaxed in quite some time and she
relayed that to him.
"Good, I'm glad you're here with me." He smiled at her and patted her hand. They
sat back and watched the game. Throughout the game she had asked questions and
he answered them with patience. After the game he went and took his shower and
when he came back she was still there in the hide a bed, watching the news now.
"Anything interesting?"
"Nope, and even if there was, there's not a lot that I could do about it now."
She didn't say this with any sarcasm or annoyance. She was actually glad she couldn't do anything about it.
After the news they started watching The X-Files.
"Ok, who's your favorite person?" he asked her.
"Well, from the shows I've seen I like Scully, but Krycek is a sneaky bastard so
that's a hard one. Let me guess yours is Skinner right."
"Nope, although to this day I still don't know if Skinner is a good guy or a bad
guy. My favorite is the CSM. Talk about a bastard. I love that guy." They both
laughed and continued to watch. At the end Sara turned towards Jim and started
talking.
"I just want to thank you for bringing me with you. I'm sorry it took the
circumstances that it did but I'm glad that I'm here. I've basically given up on
happiness, because of one person and we both know who that is, but after some
thinking today I've decided to not let him get to me anymore. I can't tell you
if I will stay in Vegas or not. I'll have to play it by ear, as my Grandma used
to say. But at least I know I have a friend who is looking out for me" she
said, giving him a hug.
Jim was floored, but hugged her back. He then took her head in his hands and
kissed her forehead. "I'll always be there for you. Now, lets get to bed, the
fish will be biting early."
Jim helped Sara carry the pillows in from the living room and got her settled
in. He hoped that she would have a good night but he worried that the nightmares
would kick in. He didn't have long to wait, at about 2am he heard her in the
bedroom. It sounded like she was in pain so he got up and went in the room. She
had kicked all of the covers off of the bed except the sheet, and that was
twisted around her. She kept on saying "no, no" and would twist this way and
that, she then shot straight up and screamed.
"Hey, it's all right" he said as he turned on the lights. He thanked God that he
had battery power on the lights. Sara was pale and sweating. Jim got some water
for her as well as a washcloth.
"Are you ok?" he asked
"Haven't you already asked me that once today?" She said without humor.
He could tell that she was bothered by the dream and embarrassed. He sat down on
the bed with her and asked what he could do.
"Make them go away." She said as she started to cry.
"Hey, hey don't cry. Come here" as he climbed further on her bed and pulled her
towards him.
"I get them every time I go to sleep. It's the same, I see the victims that I
couldn't help. They cry out and I can't do anything for them." At that Sara just
started sobbing. She had never told anyone about her dreams and with him there
to hold her she let go.
Jim held Sara for over an hour as she cried for all of the victims she couldn't
help. He whispered to her that it would be ok. As she finally settled down he
got back up and got her some more water, and refreshed the washcloth. He knew
she was now exhausted but was afraid to go back to sleep so he grabbed a
prescription that he had for insomnia.
He came back in the room and sat on the bed "Sara, listen to me, you need to
sleep. I'll stay here until you're back to sleep but you're exhausted. I'm going
to give you some medicine that I have. Have you ever taken Ambien? It's a
prescription that I get because I sometimes can't sleep. I'll stay here with you
but I want you to sleep. OK."
Sara could only nod; she knew he was right. "Please stay," she whispered to him
as she took the tiny pill.
"I'll be here." He stated as he turned out the light and gathered her close. She
was still worked up but hopefully the medicine would kick in. Normally he would
never condone giving a prescription to one other than whom it was intended for,
but she needed the sleep. The dose was 10mg and when he took them it gave him a
good 7 hrs of good sleep. He was hoping it would give her more.
If this was what she went through on a nightly basis, then he knew she was
living in hell. He sometimes had nightmares of cases that he'd had in the past,
but he had outlets to release those emotions. She had none that he knew of.
Hopefully that would change. He could feel her slip into a slumber so he too
closed his eyes. She was lying on her side and he was behind her in a spooning
position. Feeling a bit selfish Jim admitted that it felt good to have her in
his arms.
Jim woke up with a tickling sensation on his neck and noticed that he and Sara
had switched positions. She was now spooning to him, with her arm around his
middle. He looked at his watch and noticed that it was going on 8am. Sara still
seemed to be sleeping deeply which was fine with him since she needed the rest.
As much as he hated to, he slowly lifted her arm off of him and he slipped out
of the bed. She moaned a bit but then settled back down, he smiled at that and
made his way to the kitchen and started making coffee. He'd never been a
breakfast person and any time he did go out with the other guys he noticed all
she ordered was fruit so he got some of that ready for her when she got up.
Over the next couple of hours he checked in on her and when she started showing
some signs of life he brought her some coffee.
"How are you feeling?" One of the things he liked about that particular
prescription was that it didn't leave you groggy the next day.
"Well, pretty good actually. That stuff works great, what's it called again?"
"Ambien, a couple of years ago I went to my Dr's because I was having a hard
time sleeping. He gave me that. Every now and then I have to take it."
"I must look like hell. I'm sorry I put you through that last night. You're just
getting the crash course of the Sara Sidle hell, first a drunk driving call then
my nightmares. I do believe that you are seeing me at my worst." She stated
sarcastically as she got up.
He took her cup from her and as he walked out of the room and mentioned over his
shoulder, "Well if this is your worst, I won't be going anywhere."
At that Sara just smiled and got in the shower. She was weird that way, she took
lots of showers, probably because of the job, but if Jim didn't mind, who cared.
After she got dressed she joined him out on the porch, with the fruit he had cut
up for her earlier.
"Thank you for cutting this up for me."
"Not a problem, I'm here to serve." He said with a smile.
She felt like she was taking advantage of him but he assured her that she was
not. "Sara, I told you when I made you come here, I wanted you to relax.
Relaxing means not having to worry about doing things. So don't worry about it.
Now, it's a bit late but I was going to try and fish. Did you want to try or did
you want to hang out here?"
"Would you mind if I just stayed here, that hammock out back looks comfy. I'll
be there." She said with a smirk.
He tweaked her nose and walked away. "You just do that then. I'll be back in a
little while."
Sara went and grabbed a book from her bag and went to the hammock. It was
comfortable, and she started reading.
They both were in their own little worlds for most of the day, which was fine
with them. Jim had come back from fishing and then went swimming and Sara just
read. Normally Jim would be where she was but he wouldn't kick her out, it was
to bad he couldn't join her. He probably could, but was to shy to ask so he just
stayed in the cabin and laid on the couch reading his own book. When it neared
lunchtime he got up and asked what she wanted. She told him nothing but he made
her eat anyways. She was too thin, so he gave her some more fruit and some ice
tea. It was a hot day so at dinner, their appetites were not the best. Sara made
Spinach salad for both of them; after they ate they then settled down for the
night. There was no game on that he wanted to watch so they settled on a great
movie; Forrest Gump. They both liked Tom Hanks and you really can't go wrong
with any of his movies. After the movie Sara got ready for bed.
"Do you need anything?" he asked her.
"No, I just hope it will be more peaceful for you tonight." She stated sadly
He walked her to the room and gave her a big hug "Don't worry about it, if it
happens it happens." With that he let her lay down, and disappeared back into
the living room.
He wasn't that tired so he stayed up for a couple of more hours watching ESPN.
When he did finally go to sleep he hoped that she did not have any terrors this
night. He knew she had another one when he heard her come out of the room
quietly crying. She climbed in bed with him and so he held her, that's all he
could do. "Was it the same one?" he asked.
"Yeah, it always is. But on a good note, it came later this time." She said
muffled against his chest.
Jim didn't know whether to be glad or not. So he just continued to hold her
close. "Did you want another Ambien Sara? I'm not a pusher or anything I just
want you to rest."
At the mention of his being a pusher she laughed through her tears. "Ok, but can
I just get half of one. I slept to long last night. I'm only used to 3-4 hrs a
night so finding out that I slept for over 8 is not normal."
He looked down at her, his eyebrows raised " Sara 3-4hrs is not normal, but
sure, I'll be right back." He came back with just half a pill, some water and
another washcloth to wipe her face.
With all that done she looked at him and asked if he could hold her again while
she fell asleep. "Sure, but lets go to your bed, you'll be more comfortable
there, I'll be there in a minute ok." He looked after her as she made her way to
the bedroom. It was so sad that this beautiful woman was living in her own
personal hell. He was glad that he was here to help some, but he wished he could
do more. He wished he could take the nightmares away all together.
This pattern continued for 3 more days and nights with little variation. Sara no
longer needed the Ambien but she still wanted Jim to lay with her, which he did.
On a good note though, it did seem her nightmares were not as bad and she was
talking about them more. When she first talked about them she only mentioned the
victims but as she began to open up more, Jim realized that something happened
in Sara's past. He didn't push her because she would let him know in her own
time.
On the 5th day she asked if they could go to town so she could call her parents.
They both knew that Grissom had probably called them to try and get in contact
her. So they left early to beat the heat. They'd been beating it by swimming and
lying in the hammock together, she had stated that the thing was big enough for
both of them to lie in and read, so why not? As they made their way down to town
Jim was noticing that Sara was getting worried.
"Sara, we've been over this, don't worry. I have full confidence in your parents
ability to tell Grissom no, that he can't talk to you. After all, they raised
you, right? You've got spunk, so stop already." Jim said, smiling
Sara just started laughing and grabbed his hand as they traveled down the road.
She was happy, and it felt good. She wondered where this would go when they got
back. She liked being around him; he had a positive energy that surrounded him.
Sara thought to herself how far this friendship could go, Jim was good for her
and she wanted him around more. She'd have to speak with him at a later date
about these feelings she was having.
They made it into town and found a phone booth. Jim sat in the truck as Sara
made the call, judging by her facial expressions Grissom had indeed tried to get
in contact with her. Sara ended the call about 10 minutes later.
Sara jumped in the truck and sighed, "Ok here's the scoop. He's been calling for
the last 4 days. Apparently, Catherine got miffed when I didn't show up to work
on my days off, God forbid if I should've actually have taken them, she then
found out that I took some extra time off, that's when she called him. He called
Judy and she told him that the time off was for a family emergency. Apparently
he's been doing some side research and found out that I didn't fly out, so he's
demanding to speak with me. Here's the dilemma, my dad covered for me and told
him that Steve picked me up and we drove back to California. I guess the call
got heated this morning when my dad told him that I was on my way back to Vegas
but I was stopping by to visit a friend. Grissom wants me to call, I don't
want to because he can trace the call to here, what should I do Jim?" By this
time she had become agitated so Jim took his hand and placed it on her thigh.
Jim sat there thinking for a minute and then shrugged " Call him, who cares if
he can trace it back here. We are 30 miles away on private property. He doesn't
know about the cabin. The only one who does besides you is Judy, and she won't
say a word to him. Just tell him like your dad said, you are going to spend a
couple of more days with a friend up here then you'll be home. That's it. He
doesn't deserve anymore of your time or effort. It's not as if you don't have
the time saved up." He said as he squeezed her hand gently. They sat there for a
few more minutes in silence then she got back out to make the call.
He got out massaged her shoulders as she the phone rang.
"Grissom"
"Hey Grissom this is uh, Sara, I just wanted to let you know that I'm ok. I'm
making my way back to Vegas now. I left California earlier today and am stopping
for a couple of days to visit an old friend" at that Jim gave an extra squeeze "
I'll see you in a few days ok."
Sara had to pull the phone away from her ear as Grissom yelled into the phone "
Where are you? Who are you with? Why didn't you give more information when you
left, that's not very responsible of you Sara, talk to me." He pleaded
Jim had heard everything that was said and it took all of his strength not to
grab the phone and tell Grissom to fuck off. He murmured in her ear "Just tell
him that you'll talk with him when you get back, remember you owe him nothing Sara"
and with that he stepped back again and let her continue.
Meanwhile Grissom had heard a male voice talk with her. "Who was that Sara? Is
that your friend?" He said snidely
"Uh listen Gris, I have to go. I'm sorry I didn't leave more information when I
left but it was sudden. Don't worry, I'll be home in a few days, we'll talk
then, K" and with that she hung up. She placed her forehead on the phone and
took a deep breath. "Well, I think for the first time ever I just gave Grissom
the brush off." She turned towards Jim, smiled and laughed.
He was so proud of her, but was worried on the inside that when they got back
she'd become the person she was. He'd have to talk with her before they went
back because he didn't want that. He gave her a big hug and told her that he was
proud of her.
########
It was the last night there and both were quiet. After a small dinner they both
packed whatever food was left. Sara then went and took a shower, and Jim went
through the rest of the cabin to see what else could be packed. When Sara
joined him after her shower she asked if they could talk.
"What's up?" he asked
She came and sat down beside him and sighed. "I just don't want to go back to
where I was, that's all. I've had such a positive experience here. I feel
rested and relaxed. Just thinking about going back is making me ill, you know."
He did know, he could see the changes in her since he brought her here. She
seemed well rested and relaxed. She joked around with him and she had some
color to her, she looked good. "Sara, I don't want this to end either but we
both know that we have to go back. I meant what I said; I care about you and
have for some time. Don't let anyone back there upset you, especially Grissom.
He's not worth your time or energy anymore, it's up to you to not let him have
this power over you. Just remember, when you're back there and things are
looking down I'll be there for you" he said as he gave her a big hug.
She hugged him back and they stayed that way for a few minutes each with their
own thoughts.
Jim finally let her go and kissed her forehead. "Let's get to bed, we've got a
long day tomorrow."
He helped her up and they both walked to the bedroom. There was no reason to
break the couch down since he'd been sleeping in the same bed as her all week.
She called him her dream soldier who kept the nightmares at bay, because of that
Sara wanted him near in case one got through; she needed to know he was there.
As he held her close that last night he reminded her that all she had to do was
ask and he would be there for her no matter what.
That night, Sara had had no nightmares, that was the first time in years that
she didn't have any and she had Jim to thank for it. She finally felt at peace.
When they got back to Vegas she'd have to find a way to thank him.
When they woke up there wasn't a lot to do since they had done the majority of
it yesterday. Jim shut off the propane but they still plenty of hot water for
both of them to take showers. Sara was worried about the sheets that needed to
be washed but Jim stated that the woman that came and cleaned before he came up
would launder them.
As they drove off Sara had a couple of tears that escaped. She knew that she
would always find peace here and that was something she would never forget. Jim
noticed that she was crying and pulled over, once there he pulled her towards
him.
"Hey, we'll come back, it's not going to go anywhere" and with that he placed a
soft kiss on her lips then wiped away her tears.
He really did love her but didn't want to overwhelm her with his feelings. He
knew that it would be awhile before she trusted her heart with anyone but he
also knew that he was making a good start.
"I know it's silly of me crying like this but I can't help it. I've never been
this at peace; it's a new feeling for me. Just give me a few minutes ok," she
asked.
"Alright" and with that he pulled back on the road and continued to drive.
Jim took it a little slower driving back than he did going up; it always seemed
to happen this way. Probably because he knew what he was going back to. Sara
still remained quiet but in a good way, she seemed well rested, and most of all
she had a smile on her face.
As they neared Vegas he turned to her. "Sara, I'm going to drop you off at your
apartment to get settled ok. I'm sure you have things you need to take care of;
I need to do some things as well. I want to take you out to dinner if that's ok
with you. Oh, I hope you don't mind but I had your car towed to your apartment.
I didn't want it to get towed, that would have made for more questions."
Sara had forgotten that her car was left on the side street where she was pulled
over. " Oh my god, I completely forgot about that, you really did think of
everything." Remaining quiet for a few minuets she continued " The only thing
that I really need to do is laundry so dinner sounds great. Do you have anywhere
in mind?"
Jim shook his head no and smiled "I wanted you to choose, surprise me." He did
this for two reasons. For one, the only restaurants that he knew of served
mostly meat dishes and he didn't want to upset her. Second, he wanted
her to be relaxed the first night home.
"Ok, I know of a great place of off the strip, its mostly vegetarian is that
ok?"
"Yep, I'm willing to try some more veggie dishes, I trust you." Jim said
mirroring phrase she had said almost a week ago.
Jim got to her apartment and helped her unload her bags. It was just after 3pm
when Sara unlocked her door. He stood in the entryway and told her that he
would be back to pick her up at around 8. He chose a later time since they
needed to get ready for the graveyard shift that both worked the next night.
"Ok Hon, I'll see you tonight" he said, smiling
Sara watched him walk down to his truck and drive off. She looked around her
apartment and wished she were back at the cabin. This place held no life. It
was her fault of course, when you go from work to home and that's all you do
then there isn't much you can do with a place. Sara wondered what Jim's place
looked like. The cabin was homey, and she could almost guarantee that was what
his house was like; she knew she'd find out soon enough. With a sigh Sara
started unpacking her clothes and doing the laundry.
Jim arrived at his house and unloaded the truck. It didn't take that long to do
so he started doing his own laundry. That was the only thing he hated about
going away, was the laundry you had when you returned. As he was about to pour
himself a drink the phone rang.
"This is Brass"
"Hey, its Grissom how was the vacation?"
Jim was torn, he was in love with a woman with whom this man had hurt terribly,
but he'd also been a friend with him for over 15 years. He'd have to walk a
tight rope with Grissom.
"It was great, I never want to miss a chance on getting away. Now I just have
to get back in the swing of things. How were things here?"
"Things have been slow thank God, we are one down." Grissom said this with
frustration
Acting concerned Jim asked what was up.
Grissom sighed and started from the beginning "Sara left on an emergency leave
or so she says. I've only had one call from her. I've spoken with her Dad on
several occasions. I just wanted to talk with her but he wouldn't let me. He
told me that it was a family emergency and that was why she was needed. When I
told him that I know she didn't fly out he threatened to report me to the
sheriff for using the systems for my own personal agenda. He then told me that
her brother Steve had come up and drove her back, that in it self makes no
sense. I got a call from her 3 days ago saying that she was on her way back but
that she was going to stay with a friend for a couple of days. I had the call
traced back to a phone booth in a town called Winlock. She didn't tell me
anything and this person was a guy. Does that sound like Sara to you?"
Jim had to hold in his laughter as Grissom was telling him about Sara's Dad.
Now he knew where she got her attitude, he'd like to meet Mr. Sidle one of these
days. When he didn't answer right away Grissom asked if he was ok.
"Yeah, I was just thinking. As far as the emergency leave goes, all we can do
is wait till she gets back, if she tells us she tells us. I don't think it's
right for any of us to pry into her personal business, and let's hope that her
dad doesn't follow through on his threat. You know you're not supposed to use
systems for your own personal reasons. I don't see why you're upset about her
taking time off. Lord knows she needs it, she's been looking like hell lately."
After Jim told this to Grissom he continued to make himself a drink.
"It's not that I'm upset, it's just that she didn't leave a lot of information.
Judy in HR didn't get her to sign the paperwork. She said that Sara had called
in from the road crying and Judy ok'd the paperwork not being signed. I don't
even think she took her cell phone; all I get is her voice mail. I was going to
stop by her apartment in a little while to see if she's there."
"Jesus Gil, give the girl a break. If she is back she's probably tired, let her
rest. You can talk with her during the next shift. Just assign yourself and
her to the same case if it's busy and if it's not take her in your office." As
much as Brass hated giving that advise he didn't know what else to say. He'd
make sure that if there was a case he'd hang around her for as long as possible
to keep those two apart.
"What are you protector now?" Grissom asked.
"No, I just know that if she just got back she'd be tired. I just got back and
I'm tired and I only drove a couple of hours. All I'm saying is give her some
space. There's got to be a reason why she didn't give a lot of information. You
know how Sara can be. Just give her space."
Jim concluded his conversation with Grissom; telling him that he needed to go.
He wanted to get everything done and get to Sara's. He was now afraid that
Grissom would stop by and try to talk with her. He called her knowing that she
had caller id.
"Hey Jim what's up?" she asked breathlessly.
"Did I catch you at a bad time?"
"No, I was just doing laundry and the phone was in the other room so I had to
run and get it."
"I just wanted you to know that Grissom just called. He's talking about
stopping by to see if you're there."
"Crap, I don't want to see him now, what should I do?"
"Well, you can come over here if you want. Just grab your stuff and head on
over. Do you need directions?"
"Are you sure, I don't want to impose on you. I've felt that I owe you so much
already."
"Sara, you're not imposing ok. Just grab your stuff and head on over."
He gave her directions and within the hour she was headed over. She really
didn't want to deal with Grissom until the next shift so she had packed enough
stuff to cover her until then. Sara figured that Jim wouldn't mind if she
stayed at his house until then. She got the feeling that he welcomed her there
and she welcomed his company as well. It only took her about 20 min to get to
his house and she was pleased to see where he lived. It was in the suburbs in
an older part of town, it was a modest ranch style house colored light grey.
Jim had already had the garage opened for her so all she had to do was pull in.
As she shut the truck off he opened the door.
"Hey you, did you have any problems finding it?" he asked as he helped gather
her things from the truck
"No, your directions were great. Thanks for giving me the heads up and for
inviting me over. I'll have to deal with him I know, but I'm going to wait
until next shift. You don't mind if I stay here until then do you?"
"No, I figured that you'd want to and so I have a room ready for you. Come on,
I'll show you around the place" and he did just that.
Sara was right, it felt homey just like the cabin, and he even had the same type
of hammock in the back yard. He took her things to her room and asked if she
needed anything. She had asked what him and Grissom had talked about.
"Just about how you hadn't left any information for him to go on. I had to hold
on and not laugh half way through; I guess your dad threatened to call the
Sheriff because Grissom used the systems to find out information about your
leave."
Sara laughed at that, it sounded just like her dad he hated Grissom. He blamed
Grissom for her leaving college early so she wouldn't doubt that he still might
report him.
Jim continued "When he said that he was going to stop by I told him to give you
space he accused me of being your protector. I just told him that if you were
back you were probably tired and to leave you alone till next shift. I wouldn't
doubt though if he did stop by to see if you're there. That's why I called."
They had been standing in his kitchen as he was telling her this. She walked
over to him and put her arms around his middle and her head on his chest. Jim
wrapped his arms around her.
"Well, he had one thing correct you are my protector. Thank you for calling and
warning me. I really don't want to deal with him right now."
They had made their way to the couch and she continued to talk.
"You've heard of high maintenance women. Well he's a high maintenance man. I
don't know what I was thinking wanting a relationship with him. The more I think
about it the more I'm glad I've closed that chapter in my life." Sara sighed
leaning back closing her eyes.
Jim just listened patiently, already Grissom was causing her distress and she
hadn't even been home for 4 hrs. So much for a relaxing dinner out, since she
seemed to be stressing a little he suggested just having a pizza delivered.
She looked at him "That sounds fine. I'm sure that there will be plenty of
opportunity to go out at a later date."
Jim stood up and walked to the phone. He dialed the Pizza Palace and ordered a
large Vegi-lovers. Looking at her on his couch he was glad she was here. They
had only been apart for a couple of hours but he didn't like the separation. He
just let her rest on the couch and got things ready for dinner. When supper
arrived he handed her a plate and asked her what she wanted to drink.
"Do you have any beer?" she asked jokingly
"Sure" and with that he went and grabbed her one.
As he handed it to her she had a look on her face that he could not interpret.
"What, I don't have a problem with you drinking every now and then Sara. I just
don't want you drinking because you are trying to escape from something, that's
why I'm here for you now. Besides, pizza and beer go together."
Jim walked to the kitchen, grabbed a couple of beers and sat down beside her.
They turned on the TV and watched a hockey game that just started. After she
was done with her food she got up and took both his and her plate into his
kitchen and did the dishes. She then asked if she could go lay on the hammock.
"Sara, you don't need to ask. It's yours, go ahead." He felt that she needed
her space so he continued to watch the game. Every now and then he'd look out
and see her looking up at the stars. After about an hour he got up and went out
side and lay down with her. She put her head on his chest.
"It's not as quiet here, and you can't see the stars as good either."
Jim just rubbed his hand down her back as she spoke. They continued to lie out
and talk for most of the night; they even slept a little bit as well. At dawn
Jim woke Sara up and had her go to her room and sleep. Even though they had
slept in the same bed for almost a week Sara wanted to try and sleep alone
tonight, after all she had said, he couldn't be there for her every night. He
almost told her that he would if she wanted him to but he didn't think that she
was ready for that yet.
Each had managed to get a few hours of sleep after they headed to bed. Sara was
the first to get up and she was extremely happy since she had no nightmares to
waken her. She made her way in the kitchen and started the coffee and cut up
the rest of the fruit that was left from the trip. Once the coffee was done she
sat down to think, she owed Jim so much and she wanted to thank him. She got a
huge smile on her face as she got the phone book out and ordered him something
special. Having made her call, she cleaned up and took her shower.
Jim had woken when he heard the shower start; looking at the clock he saw that
it was only 4pm. Normally he would stay sleeping until about 6pm but trying to
get back into the swing of things was hard enough coming back from vacation, add
to that working graveyard made it harder. Making his way into the kitchen he
saw that she had made coffee as well as cut up the rest of the fruit so he got
himself a cup and a small bowl. He figured they could go out before work
started and grab something to eat. She hardly ate once she got to work so he
wanted to make sure that she got something to eat before hand.
He hoped that Grissom wouldn't push her when she got there, one of the things
that they talked about last night was the yo-yo effect that Grissom had done
with her emotions and feelings. The final straw was when Grissom spoke with Dr.
Laurie telling him he couldn't risk it. It was funny Sara told Jim, that Grissom
could tell a total stranger his feelings but couldn't even give her a civil
hello. He would push her away then draw her back in with a touch or a look.
Grissom told her to get a life, and when she tried he got mad. According to
Sara that would be no more. Jim thought about the strength in her voice as she
was talking to him about her plan of action regarding Grissom. She stated that
she was going to tell him that it was to late, that she wanted to work on the
"friendship" since that had suffered, but that is all it would ever be. When Jim
had asked about it being to late Sara had informed him what happened after the
explosion. More pieces of the puzzle were falling into place in Jim's eyes; he
now knew why she looked so defeated during that time. When Jim asked how she
would handle the rest of the group she stated that she would just take it as it
comes.
One of the things that would have to change is the time she spent at work, she
stated that she would no longer be skipping her days off and she made Jim
promise her that he would drag her away from the lab if he saw her falling back
into her old ways. Jim had no problem making that promise since he wanted to
spend more time with her anyways. One thing he was going to do when he got to
work was change his days off to match hers. He didn't tell her that he was
doing this; he wanted it to be a surprise. He figured by doing this he could
follow through on his promise more thoroughly. He was do deep in thought he
didn't hear her come in the kitchen.
"Hey, I didn't wake you did I"
Looking over his shoulder Jim stared at Sara and couldn't help but laugh. she on
his bathrobe with her hair wrapped in a towel, he had never seen a more
beautiful site.
"In a way, but that's OK, it's going to take a couple of days to get back into
the swing of things. How'd you sleep?"
Sara got a huge smile on her face "Great, I didn't wake up once, you know what
that means. I hope you don't mind I borrowed your bathrobe as you can see I'll
wash it for you. I just hate putting clothes on just after a shower, you get
all sticky."
Jim got up, walked over to her and smiled. "I'm not worried about it Sara, it's
not like you have cooties, you can use what ever you like, I've told you that.
What's mine is yours," he said as he walked out of the kitchen to get his
shower.
They both left Jim's house at 7:30pm, the shift started at 9:pm. Sara usually
showed up at CSI hours before shift and that was one thing that was going to
change. They had both decided that for tonight just eating at the diner across
the street from CSI headquarters was good enough. Once there, they were shown to
the "geek booth". They perused their menus and ordered. They stayed there and
talked until 15 minutes before shift started. Jim reminded Sara that if she
needed anything she was to get in contact with him.
##########
Both Jim and Sara walked into CSI headquarters with 5 min to spare. They made
their way to the break room so Jim could say "Hi" to everyone, and so he could
gauge Grissom's reaction at seeing Sara. When they walked in he noticed that
there were some flowers on the table along with a stuffed bear with a cub beside
her. He looked over to Sara and they shared a small smile. Jim asked who the
flowers and bears were for.
"They're for you Jim. We're all trying to figure out who you romanced the last
week, so do tell." Catherine answered as she put her magazine down and looked up
at him.
Jim answered with a smirk "A gentleman never tells" he said as he picked up the
card and started to read.
Jim,
I have so much to thank you for. You will never know how much you saved me and
for that I will always be grateful. You are a true friend, one that I never knew
I had. I look forward to spending more time in your company and seeing where
this friendship will take us.
Love
Hon
PS: I hope you like the bears, I couldn't resist.
As Jim finished reading his card all eyes were on him. "The only thing that I
can tell you guys is this. I care for this woman a great deal. That's all
you're getting." Jim smiled as he picked up his flowers and bears, taking them
to his office. On his way out the door he told Sara it was nice to see her.
"Thanks Jim, good to see you to."
Sara then went in the room and grabbed a seat to wait for the assignments.
Nick came over and gave her a big hug "Hey you, I hope everything is ok with the
family. When Grissom told us you had gone on emergency leave I was worried. I
tried calling your cell but all I got was you voice mail. I missed you."
"Thanks you guys, I'm sorry I left you short handed but it couldn't be helped.
I missed you all as well."
Grissom stayed quiet as everyone welcomed her home. She turned her head towards
him and just stared. There was nothing that she wanted to say to him so she
waited for the assignments to be handed out. Unfortunately, there were no new
cases so everyone was to catch up on the endless paperwork that came with the
job. As everyone got up Grissom asked Sara to follow him to his office.
#########
"Come in and close the door please." Grissom threw over his shoulder making his
way around the desk "have a seat."
"What's up?" she asked as she shifted nervously in the seat.
"I just want to know if everything is ok. After all you were not that
forthcoming on the phone, I don't like being brushed off Sara and that's what
you did. All I wanted to do was talk, please talk to me." Grissom was sitting
back staring straight at her.
Agitated Sara spoke up "First of all Grissom let me address several issues.
First off, you were calling my parents every day and that is unacceptable. My dad
hates you, I had to beg him not to report you to the Sheriff because you used
systems to see if I purchased a plane ticket or not. It's none of your business
how I got back to California nor is it your business as to why I had to go back
there. Second of all I owe you nothing, you've treated me like SHIT for the
last four years and now and you want me to talk, I don't think so. I'm tired
Grissom, tired of being jerked around by you. As of now that will stop, it's
too late for us Grissom. I'm no longer willing to wait around while you try to
figure it out. Thanks to a friend I was able to see the light, it's amazing how
much one can think when there are no distractions. You are now a closed chapter
in my life, I want to work at our friendship but that's all it will ever be."
Grissom sat there in shock, this was the last thing he expected to hear from
her, when she walked in earlier there was something different about her, a new
confidence that could be seen.
"Sara, why are you saying this, I'm sure you're just not thinking straight right
now. After all you just got back from an emergency leave. I'm sure this
"friend" has his own agenda and that's why he helped you decide that it was to
late for us. It's true that I've been distant, that I've treated you unfairly.
For that I'm sorry, but there have been things that have gone on personally for
me that made me scared, that made me run."
Sara just waved her hand at him to get him to stop talking. "Grissom, I really
don't care. It's to late, don't you think that if you had let me in, maybe just
maybe the issues you had would not have been so hard to face. You're too
self-involved for me, I thought long and hard about this Grissom. You'll always
have a place in my heart, but I'm no longer willing to have you jerk me around.
It's over, no more touches, 'since I've met you's', etc... Don't mess with me on
this Grissom; I'll resign in a heartbeat. I've had other offers from different
labs across the country, I don't want to leave but if you push me I will. I
need you to do this for me, I've never asked anything of you but I need you to
do this for me." Sara stood up and started to leave his office.
"Sara wait, please don't end it this way."
Looking over her shoulder she said, "Grissom I told you that one day it could be
to late, well it is. I'm tired, please let me go." All Grissom could do was
watch her as she turned and walked out of his office.
Grissom felt as if he had been punched in the stomach because he couldn't
breathe. She had asked to be set free, and he didn't know if he could do it.
He closed his eyes; he could feel a headache coming on and that was the last
thing he needed. Grissom wanted to know why all of the sudden Sara had a change
of heart. He wondered if it had anything to do with her "Friend", just thinking
about him made Grissom jealous as hell. Who was this guy, and how long has Sara
known him. Was he the reason why Sara no longer wanted to wait for him? The
more Grissom thought about this mystery person the more he wanted to find out
who he was. If he asked Sara who this person was, she would tell him to mind his
own business, he would talk with Brass to see if he could come up with a way to
track this person down
As Sara walked down the hall she felt free, she felt the weight that was on her
shoulders lifted. She was serious when she told Grissom that she didn't care
about his problems; it really was to late for him.
Meanwhile Jim had set the flowers on his desk and put the bears on the shelf
behind him. He couldn't get over the note that she had written. She wanted to
expand the friendship more. Right now he was the happiest person alive, until
Grissom walked in and sat down.
"What's up Gil, you've looked like you've lost your best friend"
Grissom sat across from Brass wondering how much he should tell him, sighing he
started to spill.
"Sara and I just had a chat, she's definitely changed. She's telling me that
she's no longer willing to wait for me. That all she wants is friendship."
Sitting back in his chair Brass waited for him to continue.
"She states that if I push the issue with her she will leave, that she has had
offers from other labs. I just don't get it. We were fine last week, now we're
not."
At this Jim sat up in his seat.
"Gil, get real, you were not ok. When was the last time you worked a case
with her? You recommended Nick over her for the promotion even though she's
better qualified in all of the categories. To be blunt my friend, you've been an asshole
to her for sometime now, so no wonder she's telling you this. What was she
supposed to do, wait around until you figured it out? That's not fair to her,
all I can say is it's about time."
Grissom refused to listen to what Brass had to say "I think this person with
whom she spent time with put ideas in her head. I think there's something else
going on and she's too blind to see it. I'm going to need your help. I want to
find out who this guy is that she stayed with."
Jim shook his head no "You're not listening Gil, this has been along time coming
and I will not help you find out anything pertaining to her personal life. If
she wants us to know anything she will tell us. I think you'll just have to let
her go. You know Sara; once she's made up her mind it's made up. If you cause
her to leave I will be extremely pissed off. Let her be for now."
At that Jim got up and left his office. Just being around Grissom agitated him
so he went out side to take a breather. Sara saw this and followed.
"Jim, are you ok" she asked as she walked up to him
"Yeah, just aggravated, Grissom was just in my office, he wants my help in
finding out who your "friend" is. I told him no, of course, but its still
annoying. He won't take no for an answer, nor does he take blame, nothing is
his fault. He won't accept that you might have a will of your own and you want
to move on. You just have to be under the influence of your friend. I just
don't get it."
"What's to get, he's lost something that he realizes is special. I told him
that one-day it would be to late and that day has come. I honestly think that
he expected me to wait around for him forever, that I wasn't supposed to get a
life, but like I said at the cabin, screw that. I'm ready to move on. I want
and need more."
Jim just looked at her and smiled. He could hear the strength behind her words
and knew that she was in a new chapter in her life. "You keep that up hon, and
he'll get the message sooner or later, hopefully sooner." Sara and Jim turned
and went back inside. He wished he could show his affection to her but he
couldn't, not with Grissom skulking around the halls.
#########
The first day back went good for both Sara and Jim. Grissom did not try to speak
with Sara again so she left CSI in an upbeat mood. She really hoped that she
would get a good night sleep, she wondered if being around Jim gave her the
peace of mind or was it just her relaxed state, she would soon find out since
she was going to be staying at her apartment.
Jim arrived home and wondered if Sara would get a goodnight sleep. He hoped she
would, if not she knew that she could call him. He'd given her his house key
and told her that she was welcome at any time. She had blushed, but had given
him a huge hug and kiss as she put the key on her key ring. She had given him a
key her to her place as well which was a surprise but she trusted him in her
space and that's what it was for her trust. Before he went to bed he called
her and wished her a pleasant dreams, he told her that if she needed anything
she was to call him that he would come over no matter what. Sara smiled at this
and thanked him, after about 20 minuets they both hung up to get some sleep.
########
Sara had no nightmares for about a month, that all changed and Jim noticed it.
Sara started looking tired and she was getting dark circles under her eyes.
Then one day while he was sleeping she showed up at his place, crying. She had
driven over in her pj's but had work clothes that she could put on later. She
climbed in with Jim, he knew why she was there so he just held her, and there
were no words that needed to be said.
Jim got up a little earlier than normal to get the coffee going. She was still
sleeping and from the looks of her she needed it. This was the first time she
had come over on her own but he welcomed her there. When she got up she looked
sheepish.
"Jim, I hope you don't mind that I'm here. The nightmares returned with a
vengeance last night."
"Sara, that's why I gave you a key. Are you OK?"
Sara sighed "yeah, thanks to you." And with that she went over and gave him a
hug.
Returning the hug, he kissed the top of her head "Sara, I will always be here
for you. You are always welcome in my home, just remember that."
"Thanks Jim" she continued to hug him and lay her head on his chest.
########
Over the next few months Sara continued to have nightmares, so she would make
her way over to Jim's. The team noticed the closer relationship that the two
seemed to have and how happy they both seemed in each other's company. The only
one who wasn't happy for them was Grissom. He seemed more self-absorbed than
ever. Even Catherine pulled him aside and told him that he was being an ass. He
just couldn't get over the fact that Sara was happy without him, that she was
making a new life that didn't involve him. He thought that no one could make
her happy but him so he didn't think twice about the time that Sara and Jim
spent together, after all Sara was his.
Sara was spending more and more time at Jim's house, it felt like home there.
Since she was spending so much time there Jim asked her if she wanted to move in
with him. She was speechless when he asked her this and she accepted his offer
and moved in quietly. Their time began to mean so much to her, he was her best
friend and they started to explore more. They had kissed on several occasions
but he had pulled away. He told her of his fears and she fought to lay those
fears to rest. The first time they made love Sara cried, when Jim asked why she
was crying she told him that she had finally found someone who gave her peace.
At hearing this Jim held her close and told her that he loved her and that he
had for sometime. Sara had also grown to love Jim deeply; she showed him and
told him this on a daily basis.
On their days off they would laze around his house, Sara loved laying in the
hammock, she loved it more when Jim would lay with her so she could rest her
head on his chest. It was during one of these days that Grissom decided to stop
by. Jim heard the doorbell ring and got up and told Sara to relax, since they
weren't expecting anyone. No one at CSI knew Jim and Sara were lovers, nor did
they know that Sara was living with him. They both decided that they didn't want
the hassle of explaining things to the group. They had no doubt that everyone
would support them except for Grissom; he was still under the delusion that only
he could make Sara happy.
Jim went to the door and opened it with a smile, that smile turned to
immediately to a frown.
"Gil, what are you doing here?"
"Can I come in" Grissom looked like he hadn't slept for a week.
"Ah, I've got company right now, can't it wait?"
Grissom just pushed past him and stood in the living room, as he looked around
he could see that Jim did have someone here; it looked like something more than
just "company"
"No it can't wait, I want your advice. I noticed that you and Sara have been
spending a lot of time together, is she really over me, does she ever talk about
me."
Jim could not believe this man. Sara had been telling him for months that it
was over. She could have reported him to the Sheriff for harassment if she
wanted to. It took all of Jim's patience not to pull Grissom aside and tell him
that he and Sara were together, but Sara wanted to handle it her own way so he
had stepped back.
"Listen Gil…"
"Jim who is it…?
Jim closed his eyes as Sara's voice filtered in from the back. Grissom looked
from him to the back of the house to him again, he then made his way to the back
and looked at Sara lying in the hammock.
"What the hell is this Jim…"
Sara heard Grissom's voice coming from the house so she got up and came inside.
"Grissom, what are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing Sara, what the hell is going on here?"
Jim had made his way over to Sara and stood behind her as she spoke to Grissom.
"I live here Gris…"
"Since when, tell me what the hell is going on." Grissom was looking confused.
"Grissom, I've been living here for the last 6 months. Jim and I are together
now."
When Grissom heard this he looked to Jim for confirmation, once he saw Jim's
eyes he knew. He knew that Jim was in love with the same woman that he was. Jim
just took the chance that he was afraid to. Sara had tried telling him but he
wouldn't listen to her, after all she was his. After looking at the two
together Grissom knew that he had no chance. He made his way to the door and
quietly left.
Both Jim and Sara watched him go, it was sad to see such a great man, a friend,
have the look of devastation on his face. Sara started crying so Jim took her
into his arms.
"Honey, you tried telling him, I tried telling him, he wouldn't listen. It will
be ok I promise" Jim said as he lead Sara into their bedroom where they both lay
down, holding each other. Sara just couldn't get over the look in Grissom's
eyes.
The next night when Jim and Sara went into work they learned that Grissom had
taken a few of days off, but not before dropping letters off to the both of
them. Sara found hers first.
Sara,
I want you to know that it's ok, I'm not mad at you or Jim. It was a shock to
see you two together yesterday, but I started to think back and I know that Jim
makes you happy. I've fooled myself into thinking that you would wait forever.
I know now that I would not have made you happy. I'm going to take some time
off but when I get back I would like to work at our friendship, it was strong
once, and I have no doubt that it can be strong again. Just know that I do love
you in my own way.
Be Happy
Love
Grissom
As Sara finished the letter she had to sit down, Grissom was giving her his
blessing. Sara thought how hard that must have been for him and hoped that they
really could go back to being good friends, she wondered if Jim received a
letter as well so she went to go look for him.
Jim did indeed receive a letter; it was sitting on his desk. He sat down
heavily wondering what Grissom would have to say, as he read he was surprised.
Jim,
I just wanted to let you know that I'm not mad at either you or Sara. You did
what I never could; you took a chance with her. I have been selfish; I've
wanted her all to myself without giving anything. I saw yesterday that it was
YOU that was making her happy, making her smile. I used to do be able to do
that, but not anymore, now that's your job, don't mess it up. She's special,
I've always known it but have been too afraid to do anything about it. Just
know that I will always love her in my own way. I'm taking some time off but
when I get back I want to work on my friendship with her and you. You don't
have to worry; I won't try and take it any further than that. I'm a loner and
will always be one; I have my work and my bugs.
Just take care of her
Grissom
Jim thought the same thing that Sara did; Grissom was giving them his blessing.
Just as Jim closed his eyes he heard his office door open. Sara stood there
with tears running face she was holding a sheet of paper, he stood up and walked
around his desk and took her into his arms. He closed the office door and
whispered in her ear.
"It's from Grissom isn't it?"
"Yeah, he's giving us his blessing. After all these months of not listening, he
says that seeing us together yesterday brought it all together. He now knows
that you are and were the one that was making me happy. Did you get anything
from him?"
Jim shook his head as he helped her over to the chairs by his desk. He'd wiped
her tears away and kissed her "I just got done reading mine. I don't know what
to say really, after last night this was the last thing I expected from him. I
have to give it to him. He's finally thinking about your happiness and not his
own, and for that I will always be grateful to him."
Sara just shook her head in agreement, Jim was right about one thing, she was
extremely happy and she had him to thank.
"So does this mean we can tell people now" she said smiling as she made her way
over to him.
Pulling her down on his lap her nuzzled her ear and said "Hon, if you want me to
shout it from the rooftops, just give me the word and I'll do it."
"Well, lets not get to carried away, come with me to the break room and we'll
tell everyone."
Holding hands they made their way to the break room. Everyone was there and all
eyes were on them as they walked in, Sara wanted Jim to tell everyone so she
just stayed quiet as he spoke.
"Guys, we've got something to say to you all. As you know Sara and I have been
spending lots of time together, but what you don't know is that we've been
living together for the last 6 months. We kept it quiet because we didn't want
it to affect how the team worked. While we didn't think any of you would have a
problem with it there was one we were worried about. Both Sara and I received
this person's blessings so that's why we are telling everyone now."
Everyone just stared at the two in the doorway, when Nick turned to Warrick and
smiled.
"You owe me 20 bucks, hand it over."
"Damn, I never would have thought, you called it Stokes" and with that Warrick
handed Nick a crisp $20.00 bill.
Catherine sat there with a smile on her face; she then stood up and made her way
over to the couple.
"Congrats, you two. I could see that you were good for each other, how you
managed to keep it quiet this long is beyond me, but I'm really happy for you
both."
With that Catherine turned towards the team and told them about Grissom
taking some time off. This didn't seem to bother anyone since working around
Grissom had been a task as of late. They all hoped that with the time off, he
would come back and be the Grissom of old.
After the assignments were handed out Sara and Jim parted ways, Sara received
ribbing all throughout the night but everyone had said that she seemed happy and
at peace with herself, and that's the way they wanted her to stay.
When Jim took Sara into his arms the next morning they both talked about the
night before, and how free they both felt. As they closed their eyes they
wondered where else this wonderful journey would take them.
The End