bitch.
Ino Yamanaka has never been a good friend, a good shinobi, or a good thief - just a good comrade, a good kunoichi, and a great gambler.
It's a Tuesday, and Ino should be standing behind the counter of her father's shop, an apron tied around her waist and the scent of flowers in the air. But recently, things haven't quite been as they should, and instead Ino is standing in front of the Hokage's desk, her hitai'ate tied around her waist and the scent of failure permeating the air.
There are too many people here, in this cramped little space that Hokages have taken as their own since Konoha's very beginning. Shouldn't it just be the Hokage and Ino? Aren't they the only ones needed for this particular conversation? But no, for some reason, they are not, and there's Shizune, standing by the window and ruffling through papers anxiously, and the two chunins the Hokage keeps as her personal slaves are leaning against each other by the door, and -
And of all people, Sakura is standing beside Tsunade's desk, green eyes sharp as kunai on Ino's unprotected face. The blonde's never felt quite the same urge to reach up and check herself for blood just because of a look. Then again, nobody else has ever really dared to look at Ino in that manner; anyone else would probably be concerned about the blonde rippingn off their limbs or scratching up their pretty faces.
Sakura has the least right to be here. At least the pair of chunins over by the door don't appear to be paying attention, which means that it doesn't matter whether they're here or not, and at least Shizune serves a useful purpose whenever she's in the Hokage's office (somewhat unlike the Hokage herself), which means that it's probably very necessary for Shizune to be listening in. Sakura just watches. Watching is rarely productive unless you see something that could make another village want to kill you, and she's in her own damn village. There are no political secrets to uncover here.
But Sakura isn't really Ino's problem right now - Sakura hasn't really been Ino's problem for years, since Ino made an oath on her dead sensei's grave one cloudy day, or maybe even long before that - so Ino lets her own eyes settle on the Hokage and a stale breath out through her teeth. She has to do this here and now, regardless of her audience, and there's no backing down. If there's one thing Ino is very, very good at, it's never backing down. She can't clearly recall the last time she did something quite that weak - unless you're counting this past trip to Iwa, and she isn't sure that she wants to. That's a broken streak she knows she's never going to forget or live down, even if she didn't back down. She just couldn't do it, and she isn't even sure why. "The mission was unsuccessful, Hokage-sama."
"You mean that you didn't retrieve the scroll," Tsunade says evenly, her tone misleading. Tsunade's pissed. Tsunade's worried. Tsunade's a lot of things. Ino just nods sharply in response and ignores a collective murmur of something from around the room. Well, maybe it's not a sigh from everyone - surely, Tsunade is disappointed and letting them know it, Shizune is panicked over this figure or that treaty and can't help it, and the pair of chunins have drifted off to sleep and are snoring softly. Whatever Sakura is thinking, whatever noise Sakura made, is a wildcard.
Ino's always hated wildcards. They make an otherwise straightforward card game turn around too fast, an otherwise orderly mind too chaotic to sift through quickly. Risky, on the job. And oh, Ino should know.
On the subject of knowing; she'd known the scroll was important. Of course she'd known that. She'd given her all on the mission, but unfortunately, it was the first time she'd gone on a solo retrieval, and she hadn't been prepared. There had been discrepancies between the maps and the reality, there had been more guards than promised, there had been less backup than hoped. Her all wasn't enough. Maybe it had been foolish to hope that her all would be enough on this one. At least she survived. Can't anyone accept that as a piece of the mission that hadn't failed miserably?
But those are all excuses, and you don't make excuses to the Hokage.
Unfortunately, without excuses, she has nothing else to say, and tries to stand there like a stone. Ino's never been particularly rocky, though. She's a flower in a garden - not a wildflower, because those are just as bad as wildcards - and garden flowers are known to shift and twist when the wind blows across them. Sakura's standing over there, nothing like a cherry blossom, without even the slightest of motion
If Tsunade notices the slight sway to Ino's stance and Sakura's comparative stoniness, she says nothing about it - at least, nothing that can be heard, just things that can be read into from her motions and eyes. Instead, she turns to Sakura and begins to rattle off coordinates that are too familiar, names that Ino recognizes perfectly, promised pay that would be resting in Ino's palm right now, if only she'd managed to be a little more perfect.
Of course.
Ino can't do it, no matter how badly she wants to, so Sakura will.
That's how it always is.
xxx
It's a crisp sort of Konoha day, the kind where the sun's beating down on all their heads but not quite warming them all the way to their bones, and Ino has her tongue between her teeth in concentration. Held out in front of her as they are, the ten-year-old's hands don't look quite like Iruka-sensei's, but she's trying her absolute best. This is the last lesson of the day, and then she can go play ninja with the other kids or help Sakura be pretty.
Ino secretly thinks that no matter how much help she gets and no matter how many miracles she undergoes, Sakura will never be pretty, but that's okay. Having an ugly friend makes Ino look prettier and awfully nice, and Ino loves looking like that. Who wouldn't?
She thinks for just a second that she feels chakra in her fingertips, like Sensei says they should all feel, but before she can call out excitedly and bring Iruka-sensei over, a puff of smoke and delighted giggles fly up from Naruto's area, effectively dragging Iruka's attentions away for a good ten minutes at the least. It doesn't matter anymore; the sensation in her fingers is gone, and that means that the jutsu she might have been about to do probably is too.
Dropping her fingers and jutting out her jaw in defiance of something she isn't quite sure of, Ino puts her hands on her hips and turns to Sakura - somebody has to talk to her about how immature Naruto is, and the girl beside her named Hinata certainly won't do it - just in time to see the pink-haired little girl's eyes widen in delight.
There are little firefly-sparks of light hopping from each of her fingernails to the next, just like they had on Iruka-sensei's hands when he'd demonstrated for them. Sakura's doing the jutsu, and she's probably doing it perfectly.
"Wow, Sakura!" Ino says, just a little loud and just a little forced. Sakura jumps, almost guiltily, and the light dissipates. She shoves her hands down into her pockets and lets her eyes flick down to the ground, shuffling uncomfortably under Ino's gaze. There isn't any real reason to, is there? They're friends and all that stuff. "Hey, go show Sensei that. You're the only one who's done it."Sakura shakes her head furiously. "No - I'll just - you and I saw it, so it's okay. Sensei's busy."
Ino just stares at her. If she'd done the same thing, she'd have shrieked for Sensei immediately, gotten him over there to congratulate her and ask her to demonstrate it for the class. Sakura must just be stupid or really shy, and even though Ino's known her for a few years now, she can't pick the right answer out of the two.
With a shrug and a toss of blonde hair, Ino turns back to the front of the room. Sensei's standing there again, holding his rightful place, and he's demonstrating the technique again. She'll get it this time.
She tries her hardest for the next two hours, and she still doesn't manage to make sparks fly across her fingers for months. Sakura learns how to do it every time she tries within three days.
Beginner's luck.
XXX
"I'm just so nervous," Sakura whines, and Ino can hear her from all the way across the restaurant. The cow's voice is so shrill, and Ino is positive that she's just lording her good fortune over the less fortunate. After all, Sakura and Hinata ducked in here after Ino settled down into a booth with her embarrassing new teammates. Sakura's just bragging to anyone with ears that she got on Sasuke's team, and Hinata's the spineless sap who got dragged into spraying the cow with false pity.
Sakura's still talking. It drowns Chouji's chewing and Shikamaru's snoring out quite nicely. Lesser of two evils - but not really, but while Chouji and Shikamaru might be annoying, Sakura is both annoying and hateful. "I mean, what if I do something wrong? We're together all the time now. It's a lot of pressure to be under, being on Sasuke-kun's team."
Definitely lording it over anyone with ears. It's enough to make Ino's blood boil. Hinata's replying now, poking her index fingers together in that weird little tic of hers, but her voice is so soft that Ino can't make out the words. She's probably feeding into it, though. It's the kind of thing Hinata does.
Is Ino the only girl in their age group with the complete package? Good looks, morals, and a sturdy backbone?
Sure seems like it.
Anyway, Sakura's going to drag Sasuke down, and so's Naruto. Everyone knows that Sasuke is super-smart, and that he's probably a prodigy. No, that he is a prodigy. He shouldn't have been put on a team, he should have been placed with an individual teacher. Or, at the very, least, he should have been put with somebody who has techniques passed down by their families.
Like…Ino. And, if she had to pick somebody else, Shino. He may be creepy, but he doesn't talk, and he wouldn't be holding anybody back, because he's always been one of the smart kids in their age group. Obviously, whoever made these teams wasn't thinking clearly at all. Ino could have told them a thing or two, and she would have been glad to do so.
Ino wouldn't have bragged like this, either, if she'd helped make the teams or taken her rightful place on Sasuke's team. Maybe just shot a few of those yummy, triumphant glances towards Forehead, and smiled a lot more than usual, but she wouldn't be screeching about how her good luck was a curse in public. Oh, no.
Ino has so much more class than that.
It was a damned good thing she'd left Sakura behind a long time ago. She could have chased the other girl down and said she'd give up Sasuke, that Sakura could have him, that their friendship was worth more than that, on that day when Sakura had decided that they couldn't share a common goal.
Best choice Ino's ever made, standing still that day.
XXX
"So Sasuke's really gone, huh?"It's weird, but she doesn't quite feel like it's a bad thing. Judging by Tenten's snort at her question, Tenten doesn't either. Now that Neji's out of the hospital, and Lee's been bullied into staying put when told, the brunette is much more open to discussing the Uchiha's defection from the village.
"Yeah, up and left. He's not comin' back. It's not much of a loss. I'd bet he makes it a year with Orochimaru, before they dump his nasty half-decomposed body in front of the gate."
Well, Tenten's more open to the discussions, but that doesn't mean her bias nor new hatred of Sound and anyone affiliated with the village has lessened at all. It's a small concession that Ino's willing to make. After all, her own statements are probably tinged with first love and a little regret, but Tenten isn't complaining about that, now is she?"Shame, kind of. But I'll take that bet. I say he makes it two years before we have to deal with him again. Loser takes the winner to a lunch of her choice?""Absolutely," Tenten agrees easily, holding up the kunai she'd been polishing into the light. As can only be expected of the junior weapons mistress, it's shinier than the silver rings merchants sell by the Nakano River. "But I don't think that all the details of mine should be held against me. I mean, if Sasuke's body is dumped near the village in a barely-decomposed state, I still say I win.""Fair enough," Ino drawls, drumming her fingers on Tenten's windowsill. It's a comfortable seat, and the breezy Konoha spring air that's caressing her is doing wonders for her confusion. They've been spending time like this together more often, because neither of them has another female friend and neither of them is likely to make any new ones. Tenten is too rough, too boyish; Ino is too pretty, too self-assured. "You know, I take that back. It isn't a shame. He was causing problems inside the village from the start."Tenten mutters something under her breath, and Ino pretends that she doesn't hear it. It's only a half-lie to pretend that way; the blonde is only seventy-five percent sure that Tenten said something along the lines of "you should know."
After a few more minutes of relative silence - just Tenten's cloth working it's way around another kunai, and the breeze rustling Ino's hair - Tenten speaks up again, this time sounding almost thoughtful and entirely audible. "You know, it's gonna be a while before we see anyone from that team again."Ino sits up a little straighter and stares at her, confused. The breeze can only do so much. "What do you mean?""I mean Naruto's going off with Jiraiya-sama, right? And Sakura got that apprenticeship with Lady Tsunade - "If it were physically possible, Ino's jaw would be on the floor. Good thing it's not, because that would probably be a hell of a hospital visit. "What do you mean, apprenticeship with Tsunade-sama?""You're having a lot of trouble with meanings today, aren't you, Yamanaka?" Tenten says it like she's teasing, but Ino doesn't have the mindset for that at the moment. Apprenticeship… Tenten seems to catch on that Ino won't tease back right now, and barrels on with the rest of the story. Closest thing she'll ever come to gossip - that's what this is."Sakura asked Lady Tsunade to teach her medical ninjutsu. Lady Tsunade agreed. Can you imagine, being taught by the Hokage herself? Man, Sakura must have something really special. I wanted to be Tsunade when I was a kid."Yet another point for Sakura: smart girl, friend of Sasuke, and student of the Hokage. With a long-perfected sniff of mock snobbery and a tilt of her nose, Ino crosses her arms against her chest and reverts to the easiest way of changing the subject: verbal barbs. It ain't quite teasing; it's just a little more potent and a little more serious. "I knew it. You always secretly wanted to be a medical kunoichi and sit on the sidelines. Why'd they turn you down? Fail at it like Lee?"Tenten's bristling is enough to chase away any talk of the combusted Team Seven, and Ino decides that at least she has a skill with words that most other girls couldn't hope for.
XXX
From her vantage point atop the village wall, Ino watches the speeding backs headed towards the border, her own back pressed sulkily against the railing that's meant to keep them safe. At least she's got gate duty on a sunny day; unfortunately, she's also got gate duty on a day when she'd rather be wringing necks. Anyway, almost every day is sunny in Konoha. Today's not that special - not in that regard.
"I win the bet, you know. When we're off-duty, you're taking me to the Amaguriama."
Tenten, standing in an almost perfect stance a few feet away from her, shades her eyes and turns her face towards the blonde. As usual, Tenten acts like she can't be distracted from her duties, but Ino's the one person who can pull off the perfect diversion. "What do you mean?""What kind of ninja are you? Weren't you eavesdropping? Haven't you heard anything recently?" Ino pushes herself up and saunters over to the brunette, finger pointing almost accusatorily at the four backs leaping through the treetops. They're barely visible now, off on their stupid mission, and Ino isn't even considering that Tenten might have forgotten about a bet that's over six hundred days old. "They're going off to find Sasuke. It's been two years. You lost the bet."
Tenten's mouth twists into what's maybe a pout and maybe a smirk. It's probably a sign of their continuing friendship; a few years ago, it would have been all smirk and no pout. Ino's almost proud. "You sore about that?""I'm never sore about winning," Ino says airily, waving her hand to match the tone and pretending that she has no idea of Tenten's real meaning. Pretending is one thing that Ino Yamanaka, in all her years of ninja training, has become stellar at. She's hoping to someday surpass Kurenai at the older woman's most famous pursuit because, after all, seduction is something the others can't do. "I hope you brought your wallet."
Tenten just rolls her eyes and settles her hand on the railing, eyes flickering back to the forests around their home. "Fine. I'll indulge you. I doubt they find anything. Sasuke doesn't want to be found.""Oh, very nice cliché. Been watching spy movies again? Maybe a few about fugitives? Think you could pull off a prison break better than any of those silly actors?""I don't have a TV, Ino, and even if I did, at least I wouldn't waste my time watching sappy old romances like some girls."
Ino scoffs. Can't let Tenten know she hit Ino's free time right on the nose. "Don't be ridiculous. You hide romance novels under your mattress - ""I do not!"
" - three directly underneath the pillow and the top mattress, and the two racier ones at the foot and under the second mattress. Why do you have two mattresses, anyway, you freak? Is it yet more evidence of wild sexual exploits you won't share with me?"
The few seconds of delicately fuming silence indicates that Ino's already won. Of course, they won't let it end there. Letting things end is not what Ino and Tenten do; after all, they have a running tally that both of them are lying about their scores on. Gai's watched them and affectionately proclaimed them "Eternal Youthful Rivals."
They don't spar, though, so his diagnosis is totally off. They're just girls who hang out together. Aren't all girls like this? Sakura and Ino would have been, if Sakura had ever had the guts to tease back and the good sense to compromise.
Finally, Tenten summons up a response. "You know, I don't have to treat you to what you want for lunch. I could just buy you one of those dumplings you hate and call it even!""Oh, no, you couldn't. I wouldn't let it go. I'd graffiti the village with warnings to anyone who might want to associate with you. I'd tell Neji. I'd tell Gai and Lee." At this point, Ino can't help it, and she starts snickering. Why, she's not sure. It isn't even that funny, but it seems like it's hilarious. "You'll never hear the end of it! It isn't youthful to cheat your friends on a bet, Tenten."
Tenten's snickering too, holding her hand in front of her mouth as though that's going to mask it. "Oh, god. I can just imagine it now - they'd give me lessons! They'd make endless bets with me they knew they could win, just to teach me the proper etiquette for winners! Oh, god, don't do that. I'll buy whatever you want. Just don't do that!"
Ino doesn't get a chance to respond before two tokubetsu jounins - admittedly, rather yummy-looking tokujos, one with a scar across half his face and one with a senbon sticking out from between his teeth - show up to relieve them, and the two girls race off into the village, seeing who can get to the Amaguriama first. Tenten wins. She makes Ino buy her a drink at one of the local vendor's stands as punishment. Ino retaliates by ordering twice as much food as she would have normally. Most of it ends up going to Chouji, who happens to pass by at the perfect moment.
Somewhere, Sakura is on a mission to find a friend who doesn't want her. Poor sap. Maybe someday, she'll figure out that you've gotta let go.
Ino certainly has. That's why she's not glancing at the village gate every few seconds, or wondering if maybe they will find Sasuke, or what she'll say to all of them if they do.
That's why Tenten doesn't ask why she's so spacey, and why Ino doesn't throw her drink at her, and why they certainly don't get into a food fight in the middle of a Konoha street and nearly get arrested for disturbing the peace - well, disturbing the peace and contributing to some poor civilian's fall into the Nakano.
Ino knows how to let go, especially when things are perfect and young.
XXX
It's raining, and there's a still-smoking cigarette on top of the Hero's Stone, and Ino knows that the blonde hair plastered across her cheeks and forehead isn't attractive in the least. But it's just Shikamaru and Chouji here, and they've never cared how she looks, because they're Shika and Chou. Shika and Chou aren't shallow, and they don't hold grudges, and she knows that they're crying with her right now, even if it's impossible to tell.
She doesn't even understand why Sensei's dead, not really. Akatsuki - some jutsu - a heart that no longer beats - she gets all that. But…it's not right. It's not a piece of her life, losing Sensei or losing anyone who matters/mattered/will always matter to her so much in her heart and soul, and although she's cried and made offerings and poured that heart and soul out to her teammates, it just doesn't seem to fix itself.
Ino just wants things to fix themselves. She wants Sensei to smell like smoke, not Shikamaru. She wants Sensei to treat them all to barbecue, not Chouji.
More than anything, she wants to take up some piece of Sensei's memory and do that favor for her teammates, because she knows deep down that Sensei will never do it again, but she doesn't know what she can do. There's just so much of Asuma Sarutobi that was just Asuma Sarutobi, and she doesn't have the lungs for smoking or the pockets for treating, and there isn't anything else that comes to mind that she can do. It's all Sensei's. She can't take something of Sensei's.
It just all hurts to think about.
But allowing things to hurt when you think about them too long goes against shinobi rules, or at least, she thinks it does, and so one by one, the teammates disperse. Shikamaru is the first to leave, and Chouji follows him not long after, brushing his hand against Ino's shoulder in a kind of apologetic gesture he shouldn't mean. He didn't do a damn thing. Especially not a damn thing wrong.
Ino's just left alone, unpretty in the rain, and so confused as to how she's supposed to dig herself out of this self-pitying, mourning hole, and so confused as to why she's worrying about herself instead of crying about Sensei even harder.
"Sensei…I…"How do you talk to the dead? They won't talk back. They won't hear you. But their memory hears you, because you hear yourself, and so Ino swallows her skeptical thoughts and tries again.
"You always wanted me to try harder, didn't you? You always wanted me to be…to…I don't know. I don't know what you wanted, Sensei, because I never listened well enough. Well, I'm going to try now. No. I'm not going to try. I'm going to do it. I'm going to let go of things I can't change, and work my goddamned hardest to make that never happen, because I'm going to be like a fucking hurricane, Sensei. I'm going to change things when I pass through, and dammit, everyone's going to know. I'm gonna forget them, but they're never gonna forget me. And they're never gonna forget you, because you taught me, and when anybody asks, I'm gonna say Asuma Fucking Sarutobi is why I'm anyone at all, and it's not going to be a lie. I promise, Sensei. I promise."
That's all there is to say, and the sky is clearing up, but there are still tear tracks on her face and that's not acceptable. Dragging a hand across her eyes and nose and ignoring the tears and snot that stick to it, she turns on her heel and runs for home, desperate that nobody sees her crying.
Nobody but Shika, Chou, and Sensei, because shinobi don't cry. They're the only ones who know that she's never been a very good shinobi anyway.
XXX
Ino stands on the top of the village gate and watches Sakura run off to complete the mission Ino herself could not complete, and lets a sigh slip out through her teeth. This one isn't stale. It isn't harsh. It's just tired, and just a little overdue, and there's nobody who'll judge her within hearing distance, anyway.
"You know, she was always kind of a bitch," Tenten notes, arms crossed and a shuriken dangling from the fingers of her left hand. Why it's there is anybody's guess. It's just so Tenten. "I mean, Ino, you are a bitch. It's what I love about you. She never managed that. A free meal says she fails so hard, reinforcements have to drag her pink ass back here."
Chouji makes a sort of affronted noise, mixed together with the sounds of his potato chip bag crackling and the chips crunching in his mouth. He's never going to learn to chew with his mouth closed. The boy is utterly hopeless. It's rather endearing. "Tenten! You can't say that about people!""What, that they're bitches or that they're gonna waste village resources by needing an escort home?"The two of them manage to get into some argument about kindness and why Tenten has no friends and why Chouji's friends think he's a pushover - not very true, neither of their arguments - while Shikamaru just yawns and flicks his cigarette over the edge of the gate. Ino watches it fall, before turning to Shikamaru with her hands on her hips and a stern look on her face."You're gonna burn down the whole village and the forest, Shika. Go down there and pick it up."He stares blankly at her, before tilting his head slightly to get a better look over the edge. "It's fine. Don't be troublesome.""Won't be when we all die in our sleep tonight, thanks to you and your underage smoking. That's gonna be troublesome."
"You go get it, then, if it matters so much."
Ino's about to order him to do it again, and she's pretty sure that he'll do it if she's forceful enough, when a better idea crosses her mind. Grinning slyly, she taps the other two on the shoulders and points at the edge. Their argument stops almost immediately - she'd known it hadn't been serious. "See Shikamaru's cigarette down there? First one to it get bragging rights and never has to pay for their own meal again."
It only takes a second of processing before they've all leapt down - except for Shikamaru, who follows after them sedately - laughing and pushing, to get to the nearly-dead butt, each of them wanting the prize for a different reason. Sure, Chouji's motivation is easy enough to guess, and Tenten never has any money anyway, but Ino's reason is even simpler.
Everybody needs friends. Friends who don't leave, who don't brag - unless it's about something stupid, like being the first one to pick up a discarded cigarette - and more than anything else, friends who'll say what you need to hear, right when you need to hear it. Maybe punch you in your stomach because you're being a wimp.
A few minutes of overexertion and losing a race to a very triumphant Chouji is a small price to pay for friends like that.
When they're all at the bottom, and Chouji is picking out his first victory meal - she expects barbecue, but then she remembers that barbecue is the one meal Chouji will always treat on - Ino breaks away from the group and glances in the direction Sakura ran in; the other girl is already long gone.
"Have fun, Forehead. Security's a bitch."
The girl should know, after all. Pinky might have an easy time of stealing the things Ino herself always wanted to steal, but she lacks one thing that Ino has a wonderful grasp on:
Talent.
Hey, Ino's a bitch herself. She's sure that Sakura's going to have a hell of a time, and she's sure that as long as Sakura's alive when they drag her back, nobody in this little circle is going to regret a word they've said.
Regret is for wimps, and Ino taps herself lightly in the stomach before turning back to her friends.
The Amaguriama is waiting.
This is being re-uploaded; it was taken down for the title being "Bitch;" you may notice that it's now titled "Wildflower" on the summary. I'm not updating anything else unless a serious desire to write fanfiction hits me or someone really tugs at my heartstrings.
I'm really only uploading this because it was my most popular fanfiction. Also, fight the powers.