Scarring over was a human thing and yet Amelia felt weak to her bones; her wings drooped from the weight of holding them up, and her eyes poured tears as clear as water down her cheeks.
"Sometimes, we lose people, Amelia." She shivered under the force of her sob as she remembered the man that she'd tried speaking to, tried saving, and she remembered seeing him break under the wounds and remembered how he listened to someone else's voice, devilishly persuasive.
Amelia wanted to scream, wanted her words to fill the air, and take any vacancy away from her; her heart hurt, her shoulders dropped, her arms bled from trying to fight off demons.
Angels weren't supposed to get this attached to a lost cause as they'd later call him, but Amelia loved him, loved his free will, his ability to be somewhat bright and optimistic though it often fell short.
Toris didn't deserve this! He didn't deserve the torture that Amelia braced herself for even though it wouldn't touch even a feather on her wings.
"Toris," Her voice came out like a long forgotten whine, and the angel keeping her company left her alone with her sorrow, "Why, why didn't you listen to me?"
Her fingernails became like claws over her hands as she clutched to what little sense of reality that was in her grasp, "Toris, I-I loved you."
His hands had once gently traced the slope of her wings when he'd whispered the words that felt so velvety smooth. His words were only memories now; if they succeeded at molding the 'perfect' assistant out of him, she may have the relief that he isn't screaming anymore, but it wouldn't be enough to soothe her wounded heart.
She could remember the first time his arms looped around her and she was held; no one had ever tried to hold her close. She was old enough now that she was either one of the ancients or had lost the remnants of being human far, far long ago.
His hands had awkwardly fallen on to her wings as he tried to find the best way to hold her close without hurting her or making her feathers stick far too tightly to his hands and her back. Toris was gentle, far more gentle than any human that she'd ever known.
Amelia hadn't had a chance to stand by his side when his breath was fading fast from his lungs though the thought hurt far more than it should to imagine; he just deserved a chance to live, to breathe, and more than a chance to redeem themselves.
It hurt to know that he'd chosen a side of the life after that she couldn't hold him ever again, that she couldn't keep him close to her.
"What could he have said?" She dreaded the thought of the devil having the upper hand, of his words being persuasive enough to hold an angel back from the love that filled her lungs up, to stop a human from wanting to be near her. What could he have offered that Amelia couldn't have given to Toris five thousand times over?
Amelia was just one angel, and she didn't have the power or sway to offer him the world, and she hated lying with a passion almost unparalleled. The older angel often found herself not wishing for more than her current life, a life that she loved so much, but just enough to know that those that she loves won't leave her behind and chase the kinds of things that they should have known to avoid.
"Why would he do this to me? Why would he abandon me?" Amelia bit her lip to drown the yelps on the tip of her throat, to drown out her desire to just scream until her voice became more than hoarse. She just wished that he could be up here with her and that she didn't hurt and ache all over in ways that she'd never expected to discover.
"Amelia, your wing is broken." She shifted slightly into her best friend's embrace, "You'll want to be careful for a while."
"Daina," Amelia took a deep breath that left her throat searing, "What am I supposed to do now? He's gone. I loved him so much."
"Pray for him." Daina shifted where she sat, "The Lord would want you to pray and yearn for the wellbeing of His people, wouldn't He? Just pray for him." Daina's smile reminded Amelia of the fresh bursts of Spring that slowly took over Earth below them often and how beautiful Eden had been when she'd seen it all those years ago.
"Will it be enough?" Amelia looked absolutely torn apart, one broken wing, swaying close to the top of the cloud that she sat on, hands bloody from her sharp fingernails, hair matted with her own blood, and blood littering her arms, torso, and legs.
"May be he's just in Purgatory. You have a chance to save him." Amelia owed so much to Daina, her absolute best friend, who kept her going strong when all she wanted to do was break further, succumb to her wounds that were becoming scars: more emotional than physical. Angels couldn't scar except when it came to their hearts. "You never know until you try."
"Thank you so much." It didn't stop the ache within her heart that pounded its way out of her chest, but it did remind her that there was a chance one day that may be she'd see Toris again.
Amelia's hand trembled as she reached out and ran her fingers along the hand just separated from her by mere centimeters, "Toris?"
"Amelia." He greeted her though her name sounded more than a little garbled, and Amelia was just trying to ignore his black eye that looked so painful and that served as a reminder of where he'd came from recently.
"Toris, are you okay?" She didn't doubt that something miraculous had happened for him to be allowed to be here, for him to finally make it to Purgatory, and she definitely didn't doubt that he deserved to be here or somewhere better. He'd been so kind to her back then anyway, even though she undeniably looked unreal to him when they'd first met.
"I'll be fine." Toris gave her what was meant to be a heartwarming smile though the blood that stained his teeth and the obvious pain that that inflicted on him didn't soothe her heart at all.
"Just, i-it hurts, you know?" Amelia tried to bite back her tears as there was no use crying over the past anymore; besides, he'd made it one step closer to freedom, one step closer to endless joy.
"I know." Toris sent her another wobbly smile, "I'll be fine now, don't worry."
"Okay," Amelia stepped closer, and she had no idea what energy had to have coursed through her for her to step up and kiss his lips.
It tasted like iron and salt; she could barely pull back from the kiss for the first half a second, but despite all of that, she loved it. It was a reassurance that he was still alive that he wasn't still being tortured and manipulated. He'd escaped and was right by her side now, and that was all that she'd ever wanted for so long now.
"I love you." The words were soft and not nearly enough to bear her whole heart to him, but they were all that she could think to say. They'd be enough for now. They'd have to be.
"I love you too, Amelia." Toris spoke up, voice wobbly, "Are you really an angel?"
"What do you think?" She flapped her wings, and all that she wanted to do was pull him back into her arms and try to soothe the ache of the pain by just standing with him through it all.