New Years Eve has never been something Asuka has observed with enthusiasm. She has, for as long as she can remember, spent that night holed up in the quiet of her father's house on the outskirts of Hamburg, reading. Here in Tokyo-3 there seems to be no escape to the noise, the incessant pounding of music from the surrounding apartments, the shouts of the people below on the snow-lined streets.
Asuka grunts and tugs her bed sheets over her head, squinting at the book she's been reading by the light of her phone. She's put up with these kinds of celebrations once before; she'll have to endure this one and two more before returning to Germany with her college degree. It isn't a daunting task so much as it is an annoying one: it's not the noise that Asuka hates, but the constant reminder that, no matter how hard she represses it, she knows she is alone.
A swipe of her arm, and Asuka's book goes flying across the room to smack into the opposite wall. She groans and pulls her pillow over her head, dampening the sounds assaulting her ears, but even through the soft stuffing she can hear the pulse of the music upstairs. There won't be getting any sleep until the parties have quieted down, and even then it'll probably be a while before everyone starts to leave. And then, of course, Asuka will have to rouse herself from whatever sleep she'll manage to get and head to the internship she's secured over winter break.
Asuka releases a prolonged, lingering sigh that warms the inside of her makeshift blanket fort. A moment later, the bed sighs back. Only, that's not quite it- it's just her phone vibrating to let her know she's received a text, though the unexpected movement sends Asuka flailing upright. She realizes belatedly that someone's messaged her and plucks her phone from the mattress, staring at the bright screen.
She'd been expecting a message from her father, or perhaps the one boy from her lab that never stopped trying to ask her out. Instead she recognizes the name as belonging to the quiet girl who always sat in the back of class, distinguishable from her peers by her light blue hair. Asuka knows nothing about her other than that her name is Rei, that she's the other person who'll be working as an intern beside Asuka, and that being in the same room as her gives Asuka's stomach butterflies.
They'd swapped numbers before, for convenience. They hadn't talked before then, so there's nothing Rei could want, except perhaps to talk about the work they'll be doing starting from tomorrow. Or perhaps the impossible: maybe she's finally put together all of Asuka's open staring and the frequent blush on her face, and wants to confront Asuka about it.
Asuka gulps down a breath, and it feels as though her lungs are burning. She emerges from under the covers, her face heated, resisting the urge to pry open the window and stick her head out into the cold. She'd only let the snow and the noise in, and besides, her fingers are too numb to do anything like that. Asuka taps the message folder on her phone and is greeted a moment later by a short line of text.
This is Asuka Soryu, right?
It is, Asuka replies, breathing onto her fingers to warm them up. Rei's reply comes a moment later, impeccably brusque.
Good. I wanted to talk about tomorrow.
What, aren't you supposed to be partying right now?
A pause- either Rei is typing something lengthy for once, or Asuka's reminded her there are more things to life than books and studying. Not like she'd know herself- she's turned down every boy who's asked her out (not like she was interested in them, anyway) and placed herself on a self-made pedestal upon which she can't be reached.
I don't go to parties, Rei answers at last. Too crowded and noisy.
Asuka cracks a smile in spite of herself. Finally, someone who understands. Asuka taps out a reply, erases it, tries to rewrite it again. She does this for a good minute, her fingers slowing from the cold, until at last she realizes there's nothing to be gained from her indecisiveness and hits the send button. Same here. If you really want to get away from it all we could meet somewhere and talk.
It's a very un-Asuka-like message. For one, she's never liked going places with people. They're always too slow, too talkative, too annoying. But if it's Rei- Asuka's heart beats a little faster- she'll make an exception.
I wouldn't mind. It's too loud in the dorms for my taste.
So Rei lives on campus. Asuka's fingers dither above the surface of her phone before typing out another reply. Meet you in front of the library in fifteen?
Make it twenty.
Can do.
Asuka locks her phone, clasps it between her palms. She's just... asked Rei out? No, that's not quite it. Rei only wants to talk; that they're going somewhere together just happens to be because it's New Years' Eve. On any other night they would've simply exchanged texts- or, no, Asuka would've been asleep already. So maybe- Asuka shakes her head; it's such a childish idea- this is some sort of preordained meeting. Or maybe Rei wanted it to happen this way?
Asuka shrugs and rises from her bed, approaching her closet. Whatever this meeting of theirs is, she'll still have to make a good first impression. At the minimum she'll need to convey to Rei that despite being two years younger, she'll be able to keep up with the work they'll be assigned. At best... she'd settle for being friends with Rei. Being something more assumes that not only will Rei like her, but that she'll want something beyond companionship.
And yet, companionship will be better than nothing. If there is any one person in this city that Asuka would want to be near, it would be Rei. She's quiet and smart- and though Asuka will never admit it to anyone except herself, pretty.
Asuka slips on her winter jacket and begins the hunt for her boots, sneaking a glance at her phone. Eighteen minutes to go. She'll have more than enough time to get dressed, but is that enough time to put on makeup? Probably not. She'll meet Rei as she is, then, and hope that's enough.
At the least, she hopes they can be friends.
That Asuka is awake at this time of night doesn't come as a surprise to Rei. She'd expected that of Asuka, even relied on it when sending that initial text. The idea that Asuka would choose to go to sleep rather than stay up and party all night seemed an outlandish one. And yet here they are, about to brave the cold and the snow in order to get away from all the celebrations.
Rei tucks her hands into the pockets of her sweatshirt and examines herself in the mirror. The edges of her blue hair poke out beneath her beanie, the only winter accessory she'll ever consent to wearing. Gloves are too bulky and make her hands too big for her pockets, and scarves make her skin itch. Hopefully this will be enough to make a good first impression with Asuka. If they'll never be anything more than partners for the brief duration of their internship- something Rei has resigned herself to- it'll be alright, so long as she got to be with Asuka. Why exactly she feels this way, she doesn't quite know- it'd probably have something to do with her laugh, or those rare smiles she saves for when she thinks no one is looking.
Rei steps out of her dorm room and locks it behind her. For once the hall is empty; everyone else has gathered in certain rooms, or gone into the city to celebrate. To Rei, it's a waste of time that could be spent otherwise- like meeting an attractive girl in front of the library at night. She shivers slightly, hiding the lower half of her face in her sweatshirt. According to the clock she'd passed in the hall, there's still some time before she'll have to leave.
Rei will spend it standing in the abandoned hall, wondering if perhaps by escaping this tangle of noise, she and Asuka are letting time advance, leaving themselves behind. To be stuck in a time all her own with Asuka- that would be the dream. More likely, Asuka would grow fed up with Rei, as she probably will once their internship starts. But until then, until they meet, until the bells ring and night passes into morning, Rei will allow herself to imagine that Asuka tolerates her, and maybe even more.
They show up to the library at almost the exact same moment, and they depart without a word. Asuka is the one who steps forward first; now the two of them leave the campus behind, wandering down the quieter streets. Asuka's boots crunch against the snow; Rei, wearing sneakers, keeps pace beside her. There doesn't seem to be a destination in mind, just away from the chaos.
Their path takes them out of the city, paved roads yielding to packed gravel and frost-covered dirt. Asuka hesitates at the seam where the asphalt ends, turning her head to look back for a moment at the mass of lights and skyscrapers. She hears the soles of Rei's sneakers scraping the soil; Rei turns as well, her curious eyes reflecting the glow of the city.
"Do you want to go back?" Rei asks. It's the first time Asuka can remember her speaking, at least to her. Her heart flutters frantically in her chest at the sound, like it's not an organ of flesh and muscle in chest but a bird, trying to escape. If it were a bird, Asuka wonders, would it go to Rei; would its feathers be blue like Rei's hair, or red like Asuka's?
Rei steps forward and Asuka starts, her body jumping without quite leaving the ground: it's more like a shock that ripples through her muscles from her legs up. "Sorry," she says. How odd that her first spoken word to Rei is an apology, like she's subconsciously trying to atone for loving her and for wanting to be loved in return. "I was just thinking."
"We can be back before two." A second later Rei realizes that perhaps it's not her need for sleep that Asuka's worried about, but rather the idea of wandering into the surrounding marshlands with someone she's never spoken to before.
"It's fine." Asuka spins suddenly and marches past Rei, her hands clenched into fists that swing at her sides. It takes Rei a few seconds to realize Asuka's left her, and then she's hurrying after Asuka, taking two steps to match each of her long strides. They walk like this for some time, following the edge of the road, until the glow of the city no longer touches their heels and the only illumination comes from the moon and the headlights of passing cars.
There aren't many places to go outside of Tokyo-3 that don't involve the lake in some way. Asuka and Rei haven't found their way there, not exactly, but they're close enough to it that they can hear the chirping of the cicadas gathered by its banks. The earth beneath them is soft and uneven, and around them rises a sea of grass that reaches up to their knees.
Rei leads the way through the field, her hands still tucked into her pockets. The gusting wind has dragged her beanie backward, not so much that it threatens to fall off her head, but still enough that her bangs protrude from beneath the edge. It's a bit of a messy look, but Asuka thinks it's cute, and every time Rei looks back to see if Asuka's keeping up, Asuka feels her cheeks flush with warmth.
They come to a stop at a place that's not quite a beach: Asuka doesn't know what to call it but that. The shore of the little pond they've found isn't so much damp sand as it is thousands of tiny pebbles laced with veins of ice. The pond is frozen, too- Asuka watches Rei bend down and tap it with her finger, and it sinks into the snow up to the second knuckle before stopping.
"Aren't you cold?" Asuka walks over to where Rei is, kicking at the ice with her boot. It bounces off, leaving a half-circle impression in the snow.
"It's not too bad," answers Rei. "It's warmer than it's been in a while." Her mouth contorts into a small, puzzled frown as she stands. "Asuka? Give me your hand?"
"Huh? What for?" she asks, but she's already reaching out toward Rei. Rei grips her tightly by the wrist and pulls her to the edge of the shore, ignoring Asuka's question and her incoherent stuttering. She takes one tentative step onto the pond, then another, brushing the snow aside with the sides of her sneakers. Before Asuka's had time to process this and the thought that she could remove her glove and hold Rei's hand, Rei is letting go and striding out to the center of the pond, where the snow has hardened into its own layer of ice.
"I wonder how deep this goes," Rei says, tapping lightly on the ice with the toe of her shoe. "The ice, that is. It must be pretty far if it can hold me."
"Us. Hold us." Asuka places one foot on the surface of the pond, testing it with her weight. When it holds- of course it does; Rei's standing on it and nothing's happened- Asuka steps off the shore and makes her way onto the ice, gliding in a lopsided oval around Rei.
"How are you doing that?"
"What, this?" Asuka wobbles for a bit, trying to find her footing. She pinwheels her arms, nearly hitting Rei, before she manages to stop herself. "I'm just messing around."
"You have good balance." Rei starts to shift and nearly slips, only catching herself on the ice with her hands. "I don't," she says with a shaky laugh. "Maybe coming out here wasn't such a good idea. The pond, i mean," she adds, with a quick glance of Asuka. Asuka just shrugs and propels herself across the ice, slowing as she comes around to Rei's front.
"I used to ice skate when I was little," Asuka says. "It's kind of the same idea, even if these boots are heavy as hell." She squints at Rei's battered sneakers and half-undone shoelaces. "No wonder you're sliding everywhere. You don't have any grip."
"I thought the point of skating was not having grip."
"That's part of it, but the other part is not falling." Asuka extends an arm to Rei, her fingers splayed expectantly. "Come on. You do whatever the hell you want to do, I'll make sure you don't fall and send us both through the ice."
It's a stupid invitation; if Asuka were in Rei's place, she wouldn't take it- or maybe, if it was Rei offering, she might. Rei hesitates for a beat, her hand already halfway to Asuka's, and Asuka isn't sure if Rei is reconsidering her decision or trying not to slip. Then Rei's fingers brush against the fabric of Asuka's glove, and she's holding on like the slightest opening between their hands will signal the cracking of the ice beneath them.
"You okay?" asks Asuka. Rei nods and swipes a hand across her forehead, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "What do you wanna do?"
"Not falling would be nice."
"I've got you. What, don't you trust me?"
"I just met you, didn't I?" Rei laughs and takes a careful step forward, her body lurching as her sneaker slips easily across the ice. Asuka catches her as she falls backward, the impact sending her back a few inches. "This is harder than it looks."
"I've had practice."
"I can tell." Rei straightens herself up, casts a longing gaze toward the shore. "I wonder if 'got stranded on a frozen lake' is a valid excuse to not show up to our internship."
"Don't be silly. You have all night to find a way off here." Behind Rei's back, Asuka shakes her head, chiding herself for the words she wanted to say- you have me. While that might be true, it opens up too many questions that Asuka doesn't want to find herself answering.
"No skating for me, then," Rei says. "I guess I'll have to come back when I have skates."
"If you want to skate, go to a skating rink, not an ice-covered lake where there's no one to save you if you go under."
"Asuka, we're the top two students in our year. I'm sure one of us would find a solution if something happened."
"We're biology majors, not engineers."
"Which means we actually get things done, right?" Rei grins and starts toward the shore, pulling Asuka along with her. "Besides, I'm pretty sure this is more of a pond than a lake."
"If the ice is strong enough to support us, I think it deserves to be called something more than just a pond."
"Then what about the ocean?"
"The ocean," Asuka says, drawing out each syllable, "can go fuck itself."
"Why? I think it's nice. Relaxing."
Asuka sighs and doesn't respond. Rei doesn't need to know about the dreams that plagued Asuka's childhood, the ones in which the sea was red and she was left alone in the ruins of an unfamiliar city. It's not like they're going to the ocean anyway, so why say anything about it?
"I just don't like it," Asuka replies. Rei shrugs and takes another few steps, growing steadier as she draws near the edge of the ice. Asuka almost wants to tell Rei to turn around and try going back out, just to see if she could handle it, how she would move across it. It seems Rei might have the same idea, for she turns, but as she does her foot slips on the ice. She falls backward into the drifts and Asuka, caught off guard, falls with her.
The snow cushions them, but the ice is still hard beneath them, and it knocks the wind from their lungs. Asuka sucks in a breath, trying to fill the void in her lungs, and realizes she's holding it: waiting to see if she can hear the ice cracking and shifting beneath them, the only warning she'll receive before she gets plunged into the frigid waters. But there is no cracking, and a moment later Rei's hands wrap around her arm, tugging her away from the ice.
Rei pulls Asuka through the drifts and deposits her at the edge of the lake, then lies next to her. Her breathing is quick and uneven, and it leaves little puffs of white behind in the air. Asuka turns her head slightly- she might be looking at Rei, or at the sky above them. "That was close," she says.
"As far as New Years' celebrations go, this has been the strangest one I've ever been to."
Asuka can't help it- she laughs, her voice carrying over the grass and the lake. When she finally stops and settles back with her arms folded across her stomach, she feels Rei's eyes upon her and wonders how long she had been watching. "The, uh…" Asuka stammers. "The sky is pretty tonight."
"It is," Rei agrees, scooting over and extending an arm. Asuka watches Rei take some of her red hair between her fingers, feels Rei beginning to play with it. Rei must be bored. There's nothing unusual about this at all, Asuka thinks, feeling the familiar nervous thrashing of her heart. Rei continues: "It's quiet out here, too. No loud distractions."
Asuka nods absentmindedly. She's been staring at Rei for far too long now, but she can't manage to look away. No doubt Rei's noticed by now- she's just not saying anything. "Rei?" Asuka mumbles, trying to distract them both. "Why did you want to talk to me, anyway?"
"I was going to ask if we could meet up before we went into the lab tomorrow. I wanted to speak to you in person."
"Why?"
"I would prefer to be comfortable with my future partner."
"I make you uncomfortable?"
"Not quite." Rei pauses in the middle of twisting a strand of Asuka's hair. "I get nervous around some people."
"And I happen to be one of them?"
"Yes."
"You don't seem so nervous now."
"I've gotten used to being around you."
"Rei," Asuka laughs, "it's been what, two hours?"
"Two hours is plenty of time to get a grasp on someone's personality. I quite like being around you, Asuka."
They both fall silent, and for a while the only thing both of them hear is the whisper of the wind through the grass. Rei runs her fingers through Asuka's hair, combing out the tangles, then takes a handful of it and begins to braid it. Her hands, despite the cold, do not shake: Asuka wonders, if she took Rei's hands and pressed them to her cheeks, if Rei's hands would be warmer.
"I used to wear my hair in braids when I was in Germany," Asuka says quietly. Rei tilts her head, her fingers slowing. "The boys in my class would pull on them. I'd punch them in the hallways when none of the teachers were looking."
"I'm sorry." Rei releases Asuka's hair, starts to go through it with her fingers again, when Asuka reaches up and seizes her hand. Her skin is chilled, and it reminds Asuka of the cold that lingers after a storm.
"It's okay." Asuka smiles at Rei, trying to reassure her. "You can keep going. I don't mind, if it's you."
"That's a strange thing to say."
"Well, you're not a boy, for one thing."
"But what if I pull on your hair?"
"I'll throw you into the pond. Lake. Same thing."
Rei laughs- Asuka's breath vanishes from her lungs- and then Rei's fingers are moving through her hair again.
"Asuka?" Rei says. "Why did you want to come out here?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean out here. Going on a long walk with no destination in mind with someone you haven't even spoken to is kind of-"
"Stupid? Reckless? Careless?" It's Asuka's turn to laugh; she sits up, feeling the braid that Rei's woven into her hair. It'll no doubt unravel once they start walking back, but for now, Asuka will keep it. "Maybe I came out here for the same reason you wanted to talk to me."
"You don't seem like the type of person who gets nervous."
"I do. I just don't let it show."
Rei pushes herself into a sitting position and folds her arms over her knees. From how she sits, there's no way Asuka can tell what she's thinking. At last she moves, swinging her body to face Asuka. "We're going to have to work together for at least two months," she says. "We won't be able to do so if we're avoiding each other the entire time."
"We're here right now."
"That's not what I mean." Rei's eyes shift down to stare at the pebbles surrounding her, at the grooves her finger has traced between them. "There's something you're not saying. There's something I'm not saying, too. Let's both spit it out already."
"What if it's something you won't like hearing?"
"I'll take my chances." Rei smiles wistfully, and Asuka has to avert her gaze. It won't do her any good now to be daydreaming of Rei, of holding hands with her, of anything more than brief conversations in the lab and discussions about their work. "Do you want me to go first?"
"No, I- I'll go." Asuka sighs, looking out over the lake. As much as she knows she should be looking at Rei for this, she can't bring herself to. "I want you to like me, Rei."
"I do."
"Not that kind of like. The… the other kind."
Pebbles click together as Rei gets up, walking over to Asuka. Asuka notices when Rei's shadow falls over her, but not before Rei has wrapped her arms around Asuka's shoulders. "That's what I needed to tell you," she says. "That I like you too."
"I- you-" Asuka stammers. "What?"
"I've been in three of your classes, Asuka. The first time I saw you, I thought you were pretty. I didn't want to say anything, in case you weren't in the biology department like me. Then we had another class together the following semester, and…" Rei shrugs. "I don't know what you want me to say, Asuka."
"Tell me you're not joking."
"I'm not."
"So the reason you texted me is because you wanted to get used to looking at my face."
"Well… yes. And speaking to it."
"That's the weirdest compliment anyone's ever given me," Asuka says. "But it's not a bad one." She reaches up and tugs the front of Rei's beanie down over her hair, patting her head affectionately. "Is that all you needed to tell me?"
Rei nods in reply. Asuka pushes off from the ground and stands, breaking free of Rei's grasp. "I suppose we should go back now. Neither of us have slept yet." Rei pauses, her mouth forming into a gentle smile. "You could stay with me in my dorm room if you'd like. That way you can get a rest for a bit longer."
"You haven't even bought me dinner yet."
"We haven't kissed yet."
"Well, we can fix one of those things right now. Can't we?"
Asuka's hands grip Rei's shoulders, drawing her closer. The air she's gathered in her lungs has begun to escape from her open mouth, though Rei solves that problem quickly. Her lips cover Asuka's, her eyes flutter shut, and a moment later, so do Asuka's.
Rei's breath tastes of mint, and though the likelihood of her having prepared for this kiss is insignificant, Asuka would like to believe that's the case anyway. Rei's arms wrap around her waist, pulling her closer so that Rei doesn't have to strain to reach her. They kiss for what feels like an hour, until the burning in Asuka's lungs is so great that she has to release Rei.
They stand a foot apart on the shore of the lake, staring at each other. Rei is the first to move, lifting a hand and caressing the side of Asuka's face. "Shall we go back now?" she asks.
"Yeah." Asuka grabs the glove on one hand and wrestles it free, then finds Rei's hand and holds it. Her fingers are warmer than Rei's, but only just. "You really should wear gloves," Asuka says.
"If I did, would we be able to do this?" Rei squeezes Asuka's hand, earning herself a grin.
"Not really. But we could try."
Rei simply shakes her head and knocks her shoulder against Asuka's. She starts forward through the grass, the stalks tickling their joined hands, but she doesn't let go. They hold hands all the way back to the city, which has grown quiet, up until they reach the doors of Rei's dorm. There Rei lets go and Asuka leans down to give her another kiss. It's not as long as the first one, but just as tender- the perfect start to a new year.
A belated post of something written for a secret santa.