For Lexi; Narcissa/Lily. Congrats on the Gryff HoH position xx
Muggle Music #4: Task One: Write about someone who conceals their insecurities by acting flippant, funny or any other way that might be a cover-up for their true emotions. (casual/indifferent when asking out, like angry but not? when first kissing, babbling when nervous, more angry than strictly necessary when confronted)
Extra Prompts: (word) trauma, (lyric) So you think you can love me and leave me to die?, (phrase) Nothing really matters
Word Count: 2850 (i got carried away…)
A/N: this probably won't matter for anyone but me, but all the new sections (like after the line break) that begin with Lily are in Lily's POV, and the one's beginning with Narcissa are in Narcissa's POV (structural choice ;) )
A/N 2: The epigraph thing is the lyric from Bohemian Rhapsody, split in half for the story (if that makes sense—the first half is at the start, the second half is at the end.) The title is a lyric from one of my favourite Panic! songs, although I'm not sure if it's completely relevant or not (yet).
A/N 3: Narcissa is in Lily's year in this, instead of being years above her ;p also Lucius is in the year above,
A/N 4: ! Narcissa refers to Lily as Lily Evans for a while because she's trying to emphasise the last name in her head, the fact that Lily has "dirty blood"
you got two black eyes from loving too hard
So you think you can love me
Lily walked into Potions, her head held high. Her green eyes quickly scanned the classroom, searching for a suitable place to sit. She disregarded the space next to her previous best friend, Severus, and decided she did not want to sit next to Sirius Black for the entire lesson, for he would probably ruin her work five times in the same lesson. That only left the space beside Narcissa Black, a Pure-blooded Slytherin who had barely even noticed her existence before. Lily sighed, walking over to her and sitting on the stool. Neither of them said anything to the other, which, although it was not a good thing, was not a bad thing because it meant that Narcissa was not outraged by this seating arrangement.
She pulled her Potions textbook out of her bag, watching the door for the Professor. As he walked in, he flashed Lily a smile, winked at Narcissa, and began talking to a Hufflepuff at the door about their progress in Quidditch. Narcissa glanced at her briefly, but her blue eyes were back on her own textbook as Lily looked at the blonde.
"Okay class, today we are going to learn about Veritaserum…"
Narcissa never knew why Lily Evans sat beside her in their first Potions class of Sixth Year.
It baffled her every time she dwelled upon it, so she simply did not think about it. That worked fine for her, until Lily Evans sat beside her again the very next lesson, two days after the first incident.
Narcissa very discretely looked around the classroom, and found that there were still two spaces left. One next to Sirius Black (the only of his friends to continue onto Potions, although Narcissa had not been watching him at all), and the other next to Severus Snape. She understood why Lily Evans did not want to sit next to Severus, as the two had had a massive argument at the end of Fifth Year. However, she thought Sirius and Lily Evans were now friends, for they seemed pretty friendly in the Great Hall at Lunch earlier today.
She did not bring it up, however, and the two girls fell into the same comfortable silence that had become customary. Narcissa only looked over at the other girl a couple of times and was relieved that they were only doing theory still (this time, they were learning about the Polyjuice Potion).
She was afraid for when they had to work with a partner to complete a potion. She did not want to ruin the peace they had developed.
She did not want to talk to a Mudblood.
No matter how pretty they were.
Lily was surprised to find herself looking forward to her following Potions lessons. She had gotten used to the cold, yet not all that unpleasant, silence. In fact, she rather looked forward to the silence, as it provided a peace that she never experienced with the other Gryffindors.
That was until they had to work together a few weeks later on their first partnered work. They weren't the worst pairing in the room (Lily was sure Sirius was going to blow up Snape's cauldron, and Snape was probably going to kill someone because of it).
"Amortentia!" Slughorn announced. "Today, you will attempt to make it with the person next to you. It's not the easiest of the potions to create, but it's the only one that will be complete in the space of the lesson. You may begin."
Lily turned to Narcissa as the Pureblood began to speak. "Do you want to set up the equipment, or to prepare the ingredients?" Her voice was void of any emotion.
Narcissa really did have a beautiful voice. It had a posh lilt to it, under gentle layers of smoothness. She found herself liking the voice.
"I can set up the equipment," Lily replied, equally emotionless.
Narcissa was relieved when they had finally done. They had accidentally brushed each others hands no more than four times, and whilst Narcissa brushed past Lily she caught a whiff of vanilla that must have only been the scent of the girl.
For once, she was annoyed when their potion went right.
"Ah, well done girls!" Slughorn exclaimed, after cleaning up the mess that Sirius had caused with his partner's cauldron. "Can you tell me what you smell?"
Lily took a whiff of the potion, blinking uncertainly. "I can smell lilies, and Honeydukes Milk Chocolate, and some kind of perfume that I don't recognise…"
"That's great, Miss Evans! What about you, Miss Black?"
Narcissa leaned in to take her own sniff of the potion. Her eyes widened slightly. "I can smell peppermint, the scent that the Slytherin Common Room has, and…" She hesitated. "And vanilla."
Lily chanced a glance at her.
"That's wonderful, Miss Black!" Slughorn beamed at them both. "Now, could you please Vanish the potion—can't have anyone using it now, can we?—and clean up your work area?"
"Of course, Sir," Lily said, smiling back at the professor before Vanishing the potion.
Narcissa began gathering up the knives, cleaning them with a simple cleaning charm. They worked together to clean up their area, neither of them looking at the other.
The potion made you smell what you were attracted to. Narcissa smelled vanilla, which she discovered not long before was the smell of Lily Evans. She couldn't be attracted to Lily Evans. She was a Mudblood, dirty, and her older sister had been disowned for marrying a Mudblood several years back. No, there must be another reason she smelled vanilla.
She saw pale hands reach past her to grab the remaining ingredients, and she began to wonder what it would feel like to hold those hands in her own. Would they be smooth, or calloused from all the potions? Would they feel warm, or cold? Would they be dwarfed by her own hands, or would Narcissa's hands be engulfed? Would they fit together like pieces of a puzzle?
She shook her head, trying to chase out the unwanted thoughts. She couldn't be catching feelings for the Mudblood. It was improper.
She wanted her more than anything.
Lily was not surprised when the next Potions lesson involved the same silence they were both used to. However, she was surprised at the less-than-subtle glances that the Pureblood kept sending her way. What was going on in that pretty little mind of hers?
Lily sighed loudly as she scribbled down another fact about some potion. At the front of the classroom, she could hear Sirius beginning a full-blown argument with Snape, with the former raising his fist as they both got more and more angry. Snape had pulled out his wand, and Slughorn stepped in, preventing what could have easily been a disaster.
Lily found herself glancing at Narcissa once again. Her green eyes met with the Purebloods blue ones, and as they both realised that they had made eye contact they looked away from each other, blushing.
Wait, she was blushing? That was not like Lily at all. She did not blush at anything.
Except, apparently, Narcissa Black.
Narcissa made her move a few weeks later.
She really should not have.
"There's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up soon, Evans," Narcissa stated casually. Her heart suddenly dropped, realising for the first time Lily might not like her like that. She pressed on anyway, her heart racing in her chest. "I mean, I don't care if you want to go, I'm just saying that you could go with me. Potentially. If you wanted to. I don't care if you don't want to go at all. I'm just asking a question which could be shown as caring but really I don't care."
Lily grinned at her, which scared her more than any answer could. "Yes, I'll go with you," she said, a soft smile still on her lips.
Narcissa let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "I mean, I don't care if you don't want to go with me, I'm sure I can find someone else who would grace themselves with my presence."
"Well, that's too bad, Black," Lily replied softly. "You're stuck with me now."
Narcissa found herself smiling back.
Lily found herself enjoying her Saturday in Narcissa's presence, even if the blonde insisted on wearing a floppy hat so no one could recognise her. Lily sort of understood why; Narcissa's sister had been disowned for liking a Mudblood, and Sirius was disowned for supporting them.
The two of them went to the most quiet areas, like this quaint little shop that sold potion ingredients. They didn't do anything but spend time in each others company. Lily liked that, it showed a real connection if you didn't have to do anything to enjoy your time.
The next Tuesday, an elegant owl dropped off a note into her lap. She opened it gingerly, expecting a bomb from Narcissa's parents. She was surprised to recognise Narcissa's handwriting.
Meet me in the Abandoned Classroom on Fifth Floor at 5 PM.
-N.B.
Narcissa truly had no idea if Lily would actually turn up or not. She was sure they had both enjoyed their time on Saturday, but that did not mean Lily would want to meet her again. She was being too bold, too reckless.
At five exactly, Lily walked in, smiling when she noticed Narcissa was here already. "Hello, Black," she greeted.
Narcissa bobbed her head at her, sitting back on a table. Sitting next to her, Lily twined her hands together. "What did you want to meet me for?"
"Well, I wanted to be in your presence, more than anything," Narcissa said honestly.
"Why?"
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, Evans, I like you. A lot." Lily blushed.
"It's Lily."
"Pardon?"
"My name is Lily. You can use it, you know."
"Only if you call me Narcissa."
"Deal."
Lily held a hand out to shake hers, and as they met Narcissa found out the answer to all of her questions. Her hands were smooth and warm. They were almost the same size as hers, so they balanced each other out. They most certainly did fit together like a puzzle.
Narcissa found herself not wanting to let go.
She did let go. Lily had a light flush on her cheeks. The room did feel like it was warming up…
"Can I kiss you?" Lily asked suddenly.
"Pardon?" Narcissa's eyes widened.
"Only if you would let me, I mean you don't have to kiss me if you don't want to. It was just a suggestion."
"I would gladly kiss you," Narcissa said gracefully.
She leant forward, before hesitating slightly. Never having kissed someone before, Narcissa did not want to mess up the kiss.
"Something wrong?" Lily asked, her beautiful face filled with concern.
"No," Narcissa snapped, "nothing's wrong!"
That might have come out angrier than she expected.
"Have you ever kissed someone before?"
"Of course I have!" Her voice was a pitch too high for her liking. "Well, maybe I haven't, but what's it to you? Are you part of the Kiss-Police now? Are you going to arrest me for it?"
Lily chuckled.
"No," she said softly. "Here, just follow me lead."
And Narcissa did.
She expected Lily's lips to be harder but they were soft against hers. The kiss warmed up her heart and her whole body, making her feel unimaginable things. As they broke apart Narcissa's eyes fluttered open. "We should do this again some time," Lily said, before grabbing her bag and leaving.
Lily and Narcissa met up every day, either to chat about their lives or to kiss. They still worked together in Potions exactly like they used to, yet with more looks sent each to the other when they thought nobody was looking.
All in all, it really was too good to last.
James and his group of Marauders caught her on her way back from meeting Narcissa. "We need to talk," James said, the obvious ringleader of this agreement.
Remus sent her an apologetic look as the bliss slipped off her face. Peter looked around nervously, whilst Sirius looked smug.
What did they know?
"Why do we need to talk?" Lily snapped. "I'm not your property, Potter."
"Relax, Lils." She glared at him as he used that dreaded nickname. "I'm just concerned about you."
"Why on Earth would you be concerned about me?" He could not know about Narcissa. How would he know about Narcissa? "You're going to have to be concerned about yourself in a minute when I hex you."
James sighed. "I was just wondering why you always came back to the Common Room lately looking like the Kneazle who got the cream."
"That really isn't any of your business, James." She looked over his shoulder and spotted Dorcas, who smiled and beckoned her over. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find better company than what you are."
She left him staring at her, his mouth wide open. "What got her knickers in a twist?" Sirius asked.
Lily felt much better when she hexed him.
Narcissa was walking towards her Potions classroom when the two boys who followed Lucius Malfoy around dragged her into an empty classroom. She raised her wand to curse them until she saw Lucius walk out from behind them. "Hello, my beloved," he snarled.
She winced. In all of her fun, she had forgotten she was betrothed to Lucius.
"Hello, Lucius," she said coolly. "What is the meaning of this arrangement?"
"I'm here to talk to you about… certain activities you have been doing as of late."
Her heart was thumping in her chest. "What activities?" she questioned, but her voice betrayed her slightly.
"Let's just say some little birdy told me that that you have been seeing the Mudblood Evans in your spare time."
Severus. Oh, how she was going to slit his throat, the nosy little snitch.
"And what about it?"
"I would like you to end it. Or you may find that it has some unfortunate consequences." He nodded at the bigger of his two cronies, who walked over to her and held the sides of her face before headbutting her.
Her nose cracked as she turned to face her future husband, a dark glare in her eyes. "I believe Andromeda was disowned for loving that Mudblood. If you don't end it, you may find someone just tipping off your family about the fact you've let a Mudblood touch you. And if that doesn't stop you, my beloved, then I will have to start taking action on the pretty little redhead."
"I will end it tonight," Narcissa said evenly. "Farewell, Lucius."
The three men left, and Narcissa healed her broken nose and cleaned off any blood. She couldn't do anything about the dark bruises forming under her eyes.
She straightened her skirts before making her way to Potions. "I'm sorry I'm late, Sir," she said.
"That is fine, Miss Black, although may you refrain from being late in the future."
"Of course."
She moved over to where she sat, sliding into her seat. "We need to meet up," Narcissa said. "Same place, same time."
Lily nodded briefly before turning back to her notebook. Narcissa really did not want to do this. She was going to miss the Mudblood too much.
This is for her.
Lily was waiting in their usual spot when Narcissa walked in, a dismayed expression on her face. Jumping off of the table, Lily walked over to her, her heart throbbing when Narcissa flinched away. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Narcissa sighed, twirling her wand in her hand. "I'm sorry, Evans, but you're not worth the effort. I'm tired of this relationship. I want out."
Lily could see the pain behind Narcissa's eyes but it did not register in her head. Instead, all she could hear was the sound of her heart plummeting to the floor and shattering into a million pieces.
It was all a lie.
You're not worth the effort.
Lily's lip trembled. "So, you're ending it?" she managed to get out.
"Yes. I'm not sorry."
The sudden tears that sprung to her eyes surprised herself. She walked out of the room, her head held high as the tears streamed down her cheeks. She fled to the comfort of her Common Room, bumping straight into James. "Watch it, Lil—hey, are you alright?"
She pressed her face to his chest, mumbling, "Nothing really matters."
Narcissa sat with Severus the next Potions lesson. Lily did not even look in her direction as she sat with Sirius.
The trauma Narcissa had suffered made her indifferent to her surroundings. She barely even paid attention to Severus glaring at her, or him muttering, "How did you get with her in five weeks when I didn't get with her in five years?"
Even if she did hear someone she ignored them. Her heart hurt.
This is all your fault you've hurt her you should have sacrificed your family for her you should have protected her from Lucius.
She turned away.
and leave me to die?
Okay nobody died. But Lily's heart did.
Excuse the argue scene I don't know where that one came from # love Jily
I honestly tried, okay. I'm just tired and it's been a long day. A long week tbh…
But I didn't fail my biology test so that's a bonus.
Anywho.
At this point I don't care if I get a Troll or wahtever, I did as much as I coulld so suck it (that's rude I apologise but I just pulled 2000 words out of my ass in 2 hours despite all of my worries)
Hope you like it, Lexi. And I hope you got to the end. I finished this in the last/early hours when I should have been asleep...
~Butter