Title: If the X-Men Wrote Christmas Cards
Author: Autumn
Email: autumnleaves@autumnpenguins.com
Series: If the X-Men Wrote.....
Archive: DDFH, API others please ask
A/N: This sprang to mind as a mini-fic, and ended up inspiring a much longer and uh, darker story. THEN at the end of that story, I came back to my original idea to see it through.
Set Pre-X2, we'll forget the nightmare ever happened.
***************************
"Mail call" a guard roared out to the population of Block-5D.
It was unnecessary since there was only one prisoner in the entire area. The silver-locked man strode forward and patiently awaited his mail to be handed to him with the plastic salad tongs. The usual fan letters had arrived, along with a thinker envelope that caught his attention.
To: Buckethead
From: The Guy that Kicked Your Ass
You suck ass, go fuck yourself. I'd say don't drop the soap, but then you probably like that. Merry Fuckin' Christmas, ass wipe.
Erik chuckled, and sat down at his desk, taking out a pencil and paper and writing his own reply.
From: Spinemaster
To: Twisted Pretzel Guy
Must I remind you that plastic can't hold me forever? You're juvenile behavior is to be expected from someone related to the Canine family. Do write again, you'd be surprised at the level of amusement one gets from an idiot savant's specified Holiday greeting, when one has no association with the day whatsoever. In laymen's terms: I'm Jewish.
******************
From: Klaus
To: The Dickless Wonder
Too bad you don't have two good eyes. Otherwise you could keep a better watch on everyone that's sleeping with your fiancée. Ah well, can't all be gifted eh?
From: Fearless Leader
To: Pain in My Ass
Logan, you're not funny.
Merry Christmas. Get outta my face.
I'm not asking again.
To: Eve
From: The Snake
Red, you're not the hot shit you think you are. I've seen corpses with more warmth than you. I made my choice, it wasn't you.
From: Dr. Grey
To: Logan
Logan, if you think I was into you for anything more than a bit of harmless flirtation, then I gave you far too much credit. Go play with that girl if you like, I've already got much more than you can offer me.
To: Marie
From: King of the Cage
Hey Kid,
I hope the geeks are treating you right. I'll try to call on the big day, but no promises or nuthin. You know how it is. Give Scooter hell for me, flip off Jean.
I miss you. See you around.
From: The Runner
To: Flannel Guy
If you think I'm gonna sit around and wait for you to make a move, then kiss my ass! I could go out with anyone that I so well choose, you are NOT the only man around these parts! Merry Christmas.
From: "Snickt"
To: In Too Deep
Marie,
I don't know exactly what you mean by that last part, but I'm coming back. I'd better be the only man around those parts. Don't make me kill anyone. See ya soon.
************
"Visitor on 5-D"
A middle aged man rolled up to the spot where Erik received his visitors. "That was a nice thing you did Erik. Although naturally, you had to destroy something along the way."
"What, I'm not allowed to have fun?"
Charles just stared at his old friend seriously.
"There wasn't anything that went astray that wasn't that way before old man."
"Indeed Erik. You'll never change."
"No. I don't imagine I will." He smiled enigmatically.
*********
At the mansion:
"I got your card Logan." A radiant young woman smiled up at the dangerous Wolverine.
"Got yours too. We've got things to talk about."
"Talkin's overrated." Rogue said mischievously and pulled Logan by the hand up the corridor.
Neither were seen for days.
Author: Autumn
Email: autumnleaves@autumnpenguins.com
Series: If the X-Men Wrote.....
Archive: DDFH, API others please ask
A/N: This sprang to mind as a mini-fic, and ended up inspiring a much longer and uh, darker story. THEN at the end of that story, I came back to my original idea to see it through.
Set Pre-X2, we'll forget the nightmare ever happened.
***************************
"Mail call" a guard roared out to the population of Block-5D.
It was unnecessary since there was only one prisoner in the entire area. The silver-locked man strode forward and patiently awaited his mail to be handed to him with the plastic salad tongs. The usual fan letters had arrived, along with a thinker envelope that caught his attention.
To: Buckethead
From: The Guy that Kicked Your Ass
You suck ass, go fuck yourself. I'd say don't drop the soap, but then you probably like that. Merry Fuckin' Christmas, ass wipe.
Erik chuckled, and sat down at his desk, taking out a pencil and paper and writing his own reply.
From: Spinemaster
To: Twisted Pretzel Guy
Must I remind you that plastic can't hold me forever? You're juvenile behavior is to be expected from someone related to the Canine family. Do write again, you'd be surprised at the level of amusement one gets from an idiot savant's specified Holiday greeting, when one has no association with the day whatsoever. In laymen's terms: I'm Jewish.
******************
From: Klaus
To: The Dickless Wonder
Too bad you don't have two good eyes. Otherwise you could keep a better watch on everyone that's sleeping with your fiancée. Ah well, can't all be gifted eh?
From: Fearless Leader
To: Pain in My Ass
Logan, you're not funny.
Merry Christmas. Get outta my face.
I'm not asking again.
To: Eve
From: The Snake
Red, you're not the hot shit you think you are. I've seen corpses with more warmth than you. I made my choice, it wasn't you.
From: Dr. Grey
To: Logan
Logan, if you think I was into you for anything more than a bit of harmless flirtation, then I gave you far too much credit. Go play with that girl if you like, I've already got much more than you can offer me.
To: Marie
From: King of the Cage
Hey Kid,
I hope the geeks are treating you right. I'll try to call on the big day, but no promises or nuthin. You know how it is. Give Scooter hell for me, flip off Jean.
I miss you. See you around.
From: The Runner
To: Flannel Guy
If you think I'm gonna sit around and wait for you to make a move, then kiss my ass! I could go out with anyone that I so well choose, you are NOT the only man around these parts! Merry Christmas.
From: "Snickt"
To: In Too Deep
Marie,
I don't know exactly what you mean by that last part, but I'm coming back. I'd better be the only man around those parts. Don't make me kill anyone. See ya soon.
************
"Visitor on 5-D"
A middle aged man rolled up to the spot where Erik received his visitors. "That was a nice thing you did Erik. Although naturally, you had to destroy something along the way."
"What, I'm not allowed to have fun?"
Charles just stared at his old friend seriously.
"There wasn't anything that went astray that wasn't that way before old man."
"Indeed Erik. You'll never change."
"No. I don't imagine I will." He smiled enigmatically.
*********
At the mansion:
"I got your card Logan." A radiant young woman smiled up at the dangerous Wolverine.
"Got yours too. We've got things to talk about."
"Talkin's overrated." Rogue said mischievously and pulled Logan by the hand up the corridor.
Neither were seen for days.