Falling in Love Again – Resurrecting Unwanted Memories
Author's Note: Wheeeee! ^_______^ First chapter of my first Card Captor Sakura fan fiction! When I first decided to write my own fan fiction, I wasn't even planning on creating my own fan fiction on Card Captor Sakura. =P After I got REALLY addicted to reading other people's fan fiction, based on Card Captor Sakura, I got inspired and convinced to make one of my own… while continuing my other fan fiction, Undying Love, which is based on Spirited Away. I made this chapter REALLY long, well… it is LONG for me, anyways. Hope you enjoy it! Please remember to review and give me your suggestions of improvement! ^^ *would love at LEAST 10 reviews and more… if possible* BTW… I don't know Card Captor Sakura, just to let you know! *wish she did though* XD
A young woman of her late teens immediately woke up from her unfortunate slumber of her unwanted past, hunting her endlessly. She once again panted heavily for air, as cold sweat has poured right down her gentle face, making its way down her already damp shirt. After a few more forced and rushed breaths of air, she quietly calmed herself down and sadly lowered her head, as a few drops of liquid-like crystals escaped her gloomy eyes, right before landing on her soft bed sheets.
"Why were these nightmares coming back?! WHY?!" the troubled and sadden girl screamed, tightly clutching her head and her auburn hair, which was already messy from her restlessly sleep. What did she do to deserve such a punishment? Why were those unwanted memories haunting her every dream and thought? Why was life so unfair to her all the time? Throughout her entire life, it always seemed that destiny has paid her nothing but pain, sorrow, and betrayal for the kind and unselfish deeds she performed for others, out of the goodness of her heart.
She sighed deeply, recalling how she once was before… the incident; so carefree and open-minded. It was quite shocking, yet seemingly true, how one huge betrayal could change a person so drastically for the worst. Those unwanted memories pierced through her mind like a sharp dagger mercilessly stabbing her heart, as she clearly recalled the heartbreaking events of two years ago, which changed her forever.
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It had been about thirty minutes since she had seen her beloved boyfriend right after the Christmas prom, which has been hosted by the school before the two-week Christmas holidays. The deeply-concerned woman ran out of the school, as her beautiful and silky auburn hair was gently skimmed by the freezing wind, chilling her to the bone. For some reason, she felt ominous; some sixth sense told her that the situation would worsen by each passing second.
Where could her boyfriend be? After all, she was talking about her boyfriend here. It was already 10:30 PM, and there was still no indication where her boyfriend could be. Her boyfriend, it seemed like, has just disappeared without a trace, leaving her all alone. Maybe her boyfriend has already headed his way home, leaving her here… NO! NO! NO! She had been dating her boyfriend for half a year already; an unbreakable and loving relationship that had developed from an eight-year friendship. Surely, he wouldn't have forgotten to take her home; after all, he did love her… right?
Besides, she was probably just overreacting… he probably just encountered some minor difficulties. Or maybe… he really was in some major problems; that would why he was so late. After knowing him for about eight years, she has known him as one that was trustworthy and punctual, one that was always on time. Whatever has made him this late must have been pretty important; he was never late without reason. Either way though… she decided to continue her one-man search, just to make sure that he was alright.
The beautiful and frustrated youth continued her search around school properties, hoping to find her darling boyfriend soon. The somewhat optimistic youth just hoped that her night would get better from here, once she united with her one love. What this young woman didn't know was that uniting with her boyfriend would bring herself to her own death of heartbreak and betrayal.
The frustrated woman made her way to the very back of the school, which was usually desolate and silent, encountering an unexpected surprise. From a distance, she could hear some soft groaning noises and two shadows, romancing in the shadows. It seemed like she was watching were in between a very personal make-out session between two lovers.
Oh. My. God. Could it be? Her wide eyes did a double take; she wasn't dreaming. She could somewhat recognize out of the shadows, but she still needed to make sure that she wasn't seeing things. She decided to take a closer look… it wouldn't hurt to try, right?
She crouched down swiftly and quietly hid under the bushes, making her silent way towards the mysterious couple. She immediately blushed slightly, once her past prediction has been proven. The shadowed couple really was making out; they were kissing! The young, yet curious, woman knew that it probably wasn't wise to interrupt the occupied couple, but she needed to satisfy her voracious curiosity.
She continued her way towards the couple, trying to be as discreet as possible. She was finally close enough to identify the couple, as she took a peek from behind the bushes. She sharply gasped, as she identified who the mysterious couple was. Her eyes, now reddish, were dripping with plentiful of tears; the mysterious couple was none other than one of her best friends, Yuki, and… her boyfriend, Kai.
Her heart was immediately ripped into millions of pieces, as the realization came to her. Her own boyfriend and one of her best friends has been feeding her lies all of this time; she has been brutally betrayed behind her back, and by the two people that she has put her utmost trust to for many years. Does this mean that the loving relationship she had shared with her boyfriend has been only based on lies and conceit? Does this mean that Yuki had been using her all of this time… just to get closer to Kai? Did this mean that her boyfriend didn't love her to begin with?
She continued to watch the two traitors, people she has once trusted with her life, as they continued to kiss and hug each other warmly in the peaceful night. She was completely devastated; that was all she needed to answer her own questions; she was no more but a delicate toy that has been dishonestly used by the love of her life and one of her most trusted friends.
'You gave me your word that you loved me, you said that I was the only one for you… you promised!' she shouted angrily in her mind, as she got up and started to walk away from the couple, already knowing and acknowledging the harsh truth.
All of a sudden, a familiar voice pierced through her already hurt mind, cluttered with thoughts of intense betrayal, endless heartbreak, forgotten friendships, and burning anger, as she turned back to the disappointed and fearful couple…
"Oh my god! Sakura?" asked Yuki, a fearful intonation in her voice. Sakura just stared at the two of them with tearful and painful eyes, as more sadness poured through her body. On the other hand, her boyfriend has given Sakura a look of plead and desperation; he needed to explain things to Sakura… before things would get worse.
"Sakura, please… let me explain…"
"EXPLAIN?! What is there for you to explain?! You gave me your word that you'd always loved me; that I was the only one for you. I came to search for you because I was concerned for your safety… and this is what I get?! I see one of my best and most trusted friends, and my own boyfriend… kissing and hugging; my own boyfriend for goodness sakes! I caught both of you red-handed; both of you have nothing to explain to me… you traitors!" Sakura screamed angrily, as more salty tears slid down her red-beaten face.
"Sakura… Kai and I didn't mean to hurt you on purpose…" murmured Yuki, her eyes pleading for forgiveness.
"Sakura… I--" Sakura immediately interrupted Kai, as more tears and words of anger left her once again…
"Just shut up… the both of you! I'm sick and tired of being manipulated and used as everyone's little puppet… I'm sick of betrayal, and I don't want to hear you apologize any more! Your apologies don't mean anything to me! So what if you two apologize? Do you honestly think that it is enough to change what just happened? Do you?! For all I know… this friendship and love that I've shared with both of you could have been based on lies!"
"Sakura, we swear that we weren't using you and that we wouldn't do anything to hurt you on purpose. We didn't mean to lie to you… but we thought that not telling you about this, it could save you from unnecessary hurting…" begged Kai, hoping for some reason and understanding from her.
"Did you honestly think that lying would help me out?! Did you?! We all promised that we would never keep lies from each other; it seems like broken promises are getting more common these days. All that is ever coming out of your mouths are lies… and I can't stand to hear them anymore!" shouted Sakura, as she cried harder and broke down some more.
Her heart was aching like an endless pain that she had never felt before; she felt like dying right there. The pain was to the extreme, and she couldn't take any more of the painful and meaningless words that were coming from Kai and Yuki. She just had to get away from them. Immediately, she turned her back on the both of them… and just ran and ran, not caring in the world where she was going… just as long as she stayed as far away as possible from the both of them.
"SAKURA!" Kai and Yuki screamed, begging for her to come back… as she ran into the shadows of the night, blocking out the voices that were pleading for her return.
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Ever since that incident, Sakura had poured her heart out and cried her tears of sadness in front of her father, Fujitaka, her brother, Touya, and her best friend, Tomoyo Daidouji. Next couple of days after the incident; those had been the hardest and most unbearable days of her entire life. Ever since that night, she had never spoken or seen her former boyfriend, Kai, or Yuki, one of her former best friends. She had just avoided them at all costs; they would only bring more sorrow and heartbreak to her already broken heart.
Sakura had become a changed person since that night; she was more cautious of the people she trusted, unsure of her actions and feelings. Sakura never worked through the feelings of impulse and instinct; she'd think through her actions ahead of time, before putting plans into action. Trust was never given freely given to the strangers that approached her; that trust would have to be earned through friendship and understanding.
One thing was for sure, she learned a valuable lesson; there is more than meets the eye. From that day on, she did everything possible to hide those unwanted feelings and memories, and move on with her new life. Though she tried to forget those haunting memories of the past… they had just kept appearing in her dreams occasionally. All of her efforts of forgetting that incident… that betrayal and heartbreak, were left to ruins and failure. If she couldn't stop the past from haunting her, then she'd make sure that the past didn't repeat itself.
One thing was for sure… this time; she would take all costs to make sure she would never go through the pain of heartbreak, the pain and risks that went with love; she vowed to never love again.
Another Author's Note: So… what did you think of the first chapter of my first Card Captor fan fiction? I worked on this chapter for a couple of hours… I hope that it was worthy of your time! ^___^ *flashes you a hopeful grin* I'd REALLY like as many reviews as possible… reviews of improvement, suggestions, flattery, inspiration, or constructive criticism are welcome! *always loves to know what the readers think of her stories* Oh… BTW… if you like the way I write my stories, you might be interested in a different fan fiction that I'm also currently working on, which is called Undying Love. Undying Love is basically a fan fiction about an anime movie called Spirited Away, which you might have heard of before. =P Well, if you are interested in my other fan fiction… I'd love for you to read it too and review it! ^___^ Oh… BTW… out of curiosity, Syaoran and Eriol will DEFINITELY been included in this story! You can expect them to appear in the later chapters! =P *grins happily*