This story is based on a prompt from the Bread and Circuses Ficathon on Livejournal – "Prim & Posy Hawthorne: AU; Prim guides Posy through her first Reaping, just like Katniss did for her."
...
When I wake up, I find the other side of the bed cold. At first I think Posy must have climbed into bed with her mother, but a quick glance finds Hazelle alone in bed. Posy must have gotten up early. She's been having bad dreams lately. It's only natural. Today is her first reaping.
I slip out to the kitchen, careful not to wake Hazelle. When I get there, I find Vick, already making a pot of tea, and Posy, seated at the table. We all exchange nods as I join Posy at the table, none of us willing to hasten the day's true arrival with conversation. I'm not surprised to find Vick up as well; I imagine he's not sleeping any better than Posy. Today is her first reaping, but it's his last. After today, he will be free of the reaping.
I almost roll my eyes at that. Free. Free to watch his sister suffer through it for another six years. Free to go to work in the mines that already claimed the lives of his father and his brother.
Life doesn't suddenly get better just because you're too old for the reaping. I know that as well as anyone.
"You look like you've got a lot on your mind, Sis," Vick says as he sits down with us.
"Who doesn't, today?" I ask. Vick just nods. He checks the pot again, then leaves back to his bedroom.
Vick started calling me Sis when Rory and I were married and I moved back to the Seam. I appreciated the attempt to make me feel like part of the family, but it was hard to hear for a while. It still stings sometimes, because it makes me think of Katniss.
"How're you holding up?" I ask Posy, reaching out to stroke her hair.
"Not good," Posy says simply. "I'm scared."
I pull her over into my lap, and she doesn't resist. She's getting to an age where she wants to be treated more like an adult, but she'll let me baby her a bit today. 364 days out of the year, most 12-year-olds wish they were a few years older. Today they all wish they were a year younger.
I contemplate Posy's answer for a moment. So plainly stated, so matter of fact. So far from the girl she was before the reaping, back when she had three older brothers and not a care in the world.
"You'll be okay, Pose," I try to reassure her. "You'll be fine. Your name is only in there once."
"Your name was only in once," she says. She's right, I only had one slip.
"That's right. And something as unlikely as drawing a name with only one slip in the bowl, that can only happen once in a lifetime," I say with much more confidence than I feel. "So you should be fine." She doesn't respond, for which I'm grateful.
When Vick returns, he's already dressed in his reaping clothes. It catches me off-guard, though it really shouldn't. Most families only have one nice set of clothes. Vick is wearing the same shirt and slacks that Rory wore to his last reaping, and to our wedding the following week.
Vick finishes up the tea, and by the time he turns toward me I've composed myself. He offers me a mug of tea before filling his own, but I decline. "Isn't it a bit early to be getting all gussied up?" I ask, trying to lighten the heavy mood.
Vick gestures over to the couch in the next room. "Mom laid everything out last night," he says. I look over and see what Hazelle has laid out for Posy: a plain blue skirt and a ruffled blouse. I'm astonished that, out of everything that was lost when my mother left, among the items the Hawthornes saved was that outfit. They're the same clothes I wore to my first reaping. The clothes I was wearing the last time I saw Katniss.
I stand abruptly, almost spilling Posy into the floor before I catch her and set her on her feet. I need to get out of this house, away from its constant reminders of death. I quickly take a flask and fill it with the remaining tea before refilling the pot and putting it on to boil again. "I'm going out for a while." I say. Vick just nods at me. Nobody needs to ask where I go when I go out.
Just as I'm about to breeze out the door, I see Posy's sad face. All of a sudden I can't leave her to face her first reaping day alone. "Wanna come with me, Pose?" I've never taken her with me before, but today seems as good a time as any.
Her face lights up with a genuine smile, a real accomplishment today. "Really?" she squeaks, sounding like the young girl she barely had the chance to be.
"Not if you wake your mom up!" I chide good-naturedly. "Go get dressed. Quietly!" She quickly nods and scampers back to the bedroom.
"You know Mom won't like that," Vick says without really looking up.
"Hazelle's never really liked any of us going into the woods," I say. "Not even Rory."
"Not even Gale," Vick adds. I wonder how she felt when her husband was the one sneaking into the woods, but Mr. Hawthorne died when Vick was only five. Hazelle is the only one who really remembers him now.
After a few minutes Posy returns, now dressed in a light shirt and trousers. I let her carry the flask of tea, but I keep the forage bag. If we're stopped by a Peacekeeper, I want the punishment to fall on me. Under old Cray the Peacekeepers could care less about people going out into the woods, but Cray retired about six months ago, and was replaced by a stern looking man named Boggs. Boggs hasn't been any stricter than old Cray so far, but it's too early in his tenure to take that tolerance for granted, so I've been extra careful as of late.
The Seam is silent as we make our way towards the Meadow. Few are awake this early on Reaping Day, and those who are are spending their time worrying. As we cross the Meadow, I quickly scan the area for Peacekeepers. With none in sight, we quickly scurry under the fence and make our way out into the woods.
I like the woods, because it makes me feel closer to Katniss, and also to Rory. After the Games – everyone in Twelve knows which one you're referring to when you call it the Games, or the reaping for that matter – Rory and I would come out here together. It was the closest either of us could come to our lost parental figures. Now I come by myself. I'm not sure why I've brought Posy with me this time, except for the reason I refuse to let myself acknowledge: it might be her last chance.
The first thing I do out here is check the snares. Along the way I point out various plants to Posy, explaining which ones are good and which will kill you. She even recognizes some herself; she's read my plant book, started by my mother's family and expanded by my father and later Katniss. I show Posy how to find our snares, how to extract the animals, how to reset some of them. Some of these are the same snares Rory and I found when we first came out here, original Katniss and Gale snares. Some of them might even be snares Gale took over from his father, though we have no way of knowing now. Rory and I spent months studying the snares we found before we were able to reset them properly and replicate them elsewhere, but we eventually became proficient enough. Vick has a real knack for them, he's repaired and expanded our snare lines in recent years, almost to the extent that Katniss and Gale had them before the reaping.
Posy seems intrigued by the snares, especially the ones I identify as being old enough that Katniss and Gale were the first ones to set a snare there, almost like these snares are an old relic from the past. I guess they are for her, in a way; Posy barely remembers Gale at all, and treats any memento linked to him with a kind of reverence. It reminds me of the way Katniss used to treat Dad's things. I still have a hunting jacket Dad used to own, but I don't have any clear memory of him wearing it. For me the jacket is a relic of Katniss.
Somewhere out here, Katniss and Gale had bows and arrows hidden. The bows, at least, were made by my father, priceless family heirlooms as well as invaluable tools of survival. But no matter how hard we search, none of us has ever been able to find them. The secret of their hiding place died with Katniss and Gale.
We get a decent haul from the snares, we'll have plenty to eat and trade for the next few days. I show Posy a resting spot Rory and I found, a thicket of berry bushes growing next to a rock ledge that overlooks the valley below. We sit and take in the view of the valley in the early morning, making a breakfast of some berries and the tea. Rory and I used to sit here, both to rest and to enjoy the view. Though we had no way of knowing, we liked to think that maybe Katniss and Gale could have sometimes rested at the same spot. It's a nice thought, anyway.
Our hunger and thirst sated, we take the opportunity to rest for the time being. I lean back and close my eyes, letting the sounds of the forest lull me into a calmer mood. Given what day today is, I can't help but reflect on all that lead me here.
…..
To this day my memories of that reaping don't seem quite real. I remember hearing my name called, and making my way towards the stage, tightly clenching my fists in an effort to maintain my composure. It honestly never occurred to me that Katniss would volunteer to take my place, though in retrospect I don't know how I could have expected anything else. I remember screaming and crying as Gale dragged me away from Katniss and brought me over to my mother, before he himself volunteered to replace the merchant boy who was reaped. Gale and Katniss would go to the Capitol together.
I was optimistic about their chances. True, no Twelve tribute had made it as far as the final eight in my memory, but this was Katniss and Gale. Gale was tall and strong. Katniss was smart. And they were both skilled hunters. My optimism only increased when they received higher training scores then any Twelve tribute had ever gotten. I really thought they had a good chance. What a complete fool I was.
They both died fairly early in the Games, like the Twelve tributes always do. Their high training scores only served to make them a target for the Career pack. It was only their fourth day in the Arena when the Career pack caught sight of them and chased them up a tree. Gale had been injured that morning in a forest fire, and it impaired his climbing. The eventual winner, Clove from Two, sunk three throwing knives into him before he fell to his doom. Katniss grieved for her friend, but she still fought. She stayed up in that tree all night, and the next morning, she dropped a nest of tracker jackers on the Careers, killing two of them and scattering the rest. But she was stung herself, and took too long trying to retrieve the bow and arrows from the body of the girl from One, and wound up passing out right at the base of the tree. She was unconscious, trapped in a world of hallucinations, when the boy from Two came back and beheaded her. Strangely enough, one of the last coherent things to come out of her mouth was the name of the boy Gale had volunteered for, Peeta.
Once Katniss died, Mom took a turn for the worse. I think she felt guilty that she would never have the chance to make amends with Katniss, never get to make up for the years she had left our survival in Katniss's hands. She fell back into the depths of depression, and a few days later - the day that girl from Five was killed after being caught trying to sneak food from the Careers' stash - Mom vanished. The Hawthornes helped me search around the district, but we couldn't find her anywhere.
It was a few days after that – the day the hunting Careers found the girl from Eleven who had pointed out the tracker jackers to Katniss - when Rory, Vick, and I saw a commotion in the Meadow on our way home from school. A mass of Peacekeepers were huddled around the body of someone who had apparently been electrocuted by the district fence. The fence was electrified far more consistently during the Games, and it wasn't unheard of for someone to forget to be careful and check, but this body wasn't near any of the entrances to the woods. I don't know why I took a second look - maybe part of me already knew what I would find - but it was just a moment before Rory tried to pull me away that I recognized whose body had been found; who it was who had, either through confusion or by intent, electrocuted themselves with the fence.
It was Mom.
I let Rory pull me away from the scene before the Peacekeepers saw us. I wasn't sure where we were going - where I had left to go - when we ran headlong into what felt like a solid wall of muscle. I looked up to find the last person I would have ever expected to encounter, the last person I ever would have expected to be my savior: Peeta Mellark, the baker's son, the boy who was reaped the same day I was.
Peeta was white as a sheet but he was clenching his jaw determinedly. "You saw whose body that was?" he asked tightly. I only nodded. Rory and Vick didn't say anything either. Peeta took a deep breath before speaking again, and what he said next was an even bigger shock than his sudden appearance. "Before your sister left, I promised her that I'd watch out for you. If the Peacekeepers find you, they're going to take you to the community home. If we're going to avoid that, you're going to have to trust me. Can you do that?"
I quickly nodded again, repressing an involuntary shudder at the mention of the community home. We all saw the home kids in school, with bruises and dead eyes. The threat of being dragged off to the community home had loomed large over us in the first years after Dad died; Katniss treated it like it was a worse fate than starving to death.
Peeta next turned to Rory and Vick. "Are you two Gale's brothers?" They nodded; it seemed none of us was willing to speak, as if this whole surreal situation would shatter if we raised our voices. "You two, you need to go get Prim's things from her house. The Peacekeepers will be there soon to clean it out, you need to grab as much as you can before they get there. Get your mother to help you if you can. I'm taking Prim to the bakery, she'll be safe there, I promise. Bring some clothes for her later, after you finish at her house. Okay?"
Rory and Vick seemed reluctant to leave me with a strange merchant, but I finally found my voice. "It's okay, go do what he says." The full weight of the situation was beginning to settle upon me; my father was long gone, now Katniss was gone, my mother was lying dead in the meadow… I literally had nothing left but the stuff in that house, which the Peacekeepers would be coming to dispose of as soon as they identified the body. Panic started to set in and I began to ramble. "Make sure you get Lady and Buttercup. And Katniss's hunting jacket. And pictures! Any pictures you can find. And my mother's medicines. And-"
Peeta took my hand and cut me off. "We have to go. Hurry up, get as much as you can." And with that Peeta briskly lead me back towards town.
I didn't know what I had gotten myself into, but something about the way Peeta had mentioned Katniss told me I could trust him, even if I had no idea why he was going so far to try to protect me. I knew the baker was one of Katniss's customers, but surely that couldn't be the reason behind all of this, could it?
There was no way I could have expected what happened that day: That Peeta and his father would forge paperwork, Peeta using his artistic talent to fake my mother's signature, claiming that before Mom's disappearance I had been signed over to the bakery as an apprentice until my 18th birthday. Cray gave me a curious look as he examined the paperwork later that afternoon, but he didn't ask why a merchant with three strong sons would take on a young girl as an apprentice, or why if the baker wanted an apprentice he would take on a girl from the Seam instead of a boy from town. Cray was one of Katniss's customers too.
That's how I came to spend the next six years living and working at the bakery. Peeta's oldest brother Barlee married a month later and began working with his father-in-law, and I took his place, at work and at home. I didn't know at the time that when Peeta protected me from his mother's temper, it was the first time he had ever stood up to her. The fury in Peeta's eyes and the barely-contained rage in his clenched fists left Mrs. Mellark shaken. When he asked her, "Do you really want to find out if I've inherited your temper?" she shook her head and backed away, and never threatened me again.
It was a long time before I really understood why the Mellarks had helped me. After a while, the way Peeta's voice softened whenever he mentioned Katniss became more and more obvious to me, but it was still many years before he finally told me the whole story. About how his dad and my mom used to date, and he never really stopped loving her, even after she married my dad. About how he had loved my sister but never worked up the nerve to tell her. About how the only time they ever spoke to one another was in the Justice Building after the reaping. About how keeping me safe was the one and only thing he could do for his love, keeping the promise she had reminded him of with her dying breath. It's kind of heartbreaking to hear him talk about Katniss, even all these years later. I think he misses her more than I do; I at least got to have her in my life for a while, but he misses what might have been.
If I didn't understand why the Mellarks were helping me, the rest of the district was completely baffled. A family from town taking in, helping, employing, housing, feeding a homeless Seam girl with no family? No one form the town or the Seam understood that. It was unheard of. Anyone who wasn't simply baffled assumed that I was paying my way with sexual favors. Peeta and Rory got into more than a few scrapes at school defending me.
There's no way I could ever repay what the Mellarks did for me. While Mrs. Mellark never really warmed to be, and Rye and Barlee mostly just tolerated me, Peeta and Bannock made me feel welcomed, and valued, and even loved. They made me feel like I had a family again. Over the six years I spent with them, they became my family.
As much as the Hawthornes were already as close as family, they became even closer to me after I lost Mom and Katniss. They were mourning Gale at the same time, and we bonded over our grief. Hazelle took me under her wing as if I was her own daughter, and Posy and I became as close as sisters. And then of course there was Rory. We'd known each other since we were kids, ever since Katniss and Gale started hanging out, but as we grew into teenagers we became so much more. I depended on him when I missed Katniss and Mom. He depended on me when he missed Gale. We went to the woods together, learned snares together, studied the plant book together. Rory was my companion, my defender, my confidant, my rock.
I stayed with the Mellarks until the week after my final reaping, when I married Rory and we moved into a house in the Seam. After six years, I felt like I had finally healed from losing Katniss and Mom, from losing my old life. I had a new home, and a new husband. Hazelle was like my mom and Bannock was like my dad and Peeta and Vick and Posy were my brothers and sister and I couldn't wait to start a family with Rory. I had a whole happy life set to unfold before me.
It was barely eight months later that Rory died in the mine collapse. The worst accident since the one that had killed our fathers, everyone said. I went numb. I couldn't believe this was happening again. I couldn't believe yet another family was taken from me. They held a ceremony for the dead miners and gave me a medal of valor for Rory; I tossed it in the trash, where the Peacekeepers must have tossed the one for my father that had been given to Katniss when they emptied my house seven years earlier.
Losing Rory really made me understand my mother, and my sister. I could feel the pull of the darkness, the desire to surrender to oblivion. But the thing that pulled me out of it was Posy. I saw the concern on her face, the worry. This little girl had already lost so much, she had just lost another brother, and I wouldn't let myself be responsible for her losing anyone else, not even me. I fought back, and I found medicines to help me, and I started living again. Rather than isolate myself in the house I shared with Rory, I moved in with the Hawthornes, and have been living there ever since. Everyday that Rory isn't there I want to give up, but every day that I see Posy I find the will to continue.
…..
I'm jolted awake when Posy jostles my shoulder; I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. "It's getting late," she says, gesturing towards the sun, which is now high in the sky. "We should get back."
I can feel Posy growing more tense as we return home. Every step is another step closer to her first reaping. Hazelle isn't very happy with me when we finally get back to the house, we don't have much time left to get ready. Posy and I quickly wash and I go to our room to dress for the reaping. When I come back out, Hazelle has Posy almost dressed, but she's having trouble getting the back of the blouse to stay put. I walk over to help. "You've got to tuck in your tail, little duck," I say as I fix her shirt. She manages a weak, half-hearted smile that I'm sure matches my own.
Just before we're about to leave, a knock comes from the door. When I answer it, I'm not at all surprised to find Peeta, with a grim expression and a box of treats. He smiles when he sees me, but it's not one of his usual smiles. No one can truly smile today.
Peeta gives me a hug, and shakes Vick's hand, and ruffles Posy's hair, which Hazelle good-naturedly chides him for as she fixes it. Everyone has to look their best at the reaping, after all. She lets everyone have one cookie before we leave, saving the rest for later. Once we leave, Posy asks Peeta to carry her, and he naturally agrees to, hoisting her up easily. She weighs nothing compared to the bags of flour he's used to dealing with at the bakery. Posy wraps her arms around his neck and buries her face in the crook of his neck, as if she's trying to hide form the world.
We get the usual looks as we walk through town, for a myriad of reasons. A blond-haired, blue-eyed woman coming from the Seam is odd enough, but I'm not just anyone. Everybody knows about the poor orphan wretch the Mellarks took in. And even after all these years, still nobody quite knows what to make of Peeta's relationship to our family. There are a few who still think he's paying me for sex; even my marriage to Rory didn't stop those rumors completely. But most people realize how ridiculous that idea is. Not the idea that I would sleep with someone for food, people's ignorant assumptions about people form the Seam are as constant as the northern star; but the idea that Peeta, of all people, would need to pay anyone for sex. He's the most eligible bachelor in Twelve, the handsome and kind heir to one of the town's most successful shops. And yet he seems wholly uninterested in the many merchant daughters vying for his attention, spending his free time instead with the broken remnants of a Seam family. If I didn't know who his heart truly belonged to, I might even believe the rumor that he's gay.
I watch Peeta as we make our way to the square. His broad shoulders easily support Posy's weight. His back muscles flex and stretch as he passes Posy from one arm to the other. His wavy blond hair falls into his face, partially obscuring his bright blue eyes. He gently coaxes Posy from her hiding place, getting her to look up at him and even managing to drag a smile out of her. I can understand why those town women get so jealous when they think I'm his whore.
Too soon, we arrive at the square. Peeta puts Posy down, we can't accompany her any farther. She's shaking like a leaf, but I can see that she's trying so hard to be strong. She wants to live up to the examples of the father she never knew, the brother she can barely remember, and the brother who helped raise her. First Peeta, then Hazelle give her one last hug, and then it's my turn. "You'll be safe," I whisper to her as I hold her for an extra few seconds. "I promise you you'll be safe," I say, even though I know I can do no such thing. As much as I want to protect Posy in any way I can, I'm powerless against the reaping. I can't even volunteer for her like Katniss did for me. But I force confidence into my voice as I grip her by the shoulders and tell her, "I'll see you after." Then Vick takes her hand, and the two of them make their way to register while the rest of us find a place to wait at the perimeter.
I stop to think about Vick for just a moment. He's in the reaping today too, he's at just as much risk as Posy. More, since he has more slips. But all of the attention today, even his, has been on Posy, who is dealing with all of this for the first time. Posy needs everyone to support her today, and Vick has supported her, one hundred percent. A lot of people don't see the strength in Vick, it's not as obvious as it was in Gale or Rory, but it's there just the same.
We turn our attention to the reaping stage. Mayor Undersee is chatting amiably with the District Twelve escort, Effie Trinket, while our only living victor, Haymitch Abernathy, appears to be passed out in the third seat. A typical reaping day.
As the clock strikes two, the mayor rises and gives his speech. It's the same speech every year, and I tune it out as I repeat not Posy not Posy not Posy in my head. Finally the mayor finishes, and Effie Trinket trots to the podium. "Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!" she greets the crowd, just like she does every year. She goes on a bit about what an honor it is to be here, and still all I can hear are my own thoughts screaming not Posy not Posy not Posy!
Finally it's time for the drawing. "Ladies first!" Effie coos, and walks to the glass ball with the girls' names. She reaches in, snatches a slip of paper, and walks back to the podium. Not Posy! Not Posy! Not Posy! The whole crowd holds its breath with me as she prepares to read the name. NOT POSY! NOT POSY! NOT POSY!
"Mazie Wicker!"
I let out a breath. It's not Posy. It's not Posy. The nightmare of my first reaping is not repeating itself. A Seam girl who looks to be seventeen makes her way to the stage, and even though she's just been sentenced to death, I almost cry with relief, because it's not Posy. Posy is safe, at least for this year. Posy will come home and have a cookie from the Mellarks. She'll play with her friend Willow. She'll learn more about plants and snares in the woods. She'll go back to school. She'll turn thirteen. She will not be going to the Capitol. She will not be going to her death. Thank goodness, because after Dad, and Mr. Hawthorne, and Katniss, and Gale, and Mom, and Rory, I'm honestly not sure how many more losses this family can bear.
In my relief, I've forgotten that the reaping isn't over yet. I don't even realize my oversight until I hear Effie Trinket call out another name.
"Vick Hawthorne!"