This is crack-fic, which resulted from a bad day in horrible heat and a run that led to obvious dehydrated delusions.
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It occurs after 6x03
Burying his head within the softness of his pillow, the supple material cradles him gently and Rick enjoys the sensation of having nowhere to be and nothing to do–except for maybe his gorgeous fiancée.
Sliding a hand covertly across the mattress, his fingers seek out the delectable golden skin of his soon to be better half, yet as his arm stretches wide, he feels nothing but uninterrupted space.
Patting the sheets and continuing to come up empty, he sluggishly opens an eye, searches for the woman that should be snuggled comfortably at his side, yet he sees nothing.
His view should consist of chestnut and chocolate curls, flawless limbs and a smile that melts his heart, but instead it's unoccupied and all he glimpses are cream-colored sheets.
And that's when he hears it.
Laughter.
Lots of laughter.
Kate's laughter.
Sitting upright, he scans the bedroom, eyes flickering around the vacant area, and his ears strain to hear the alluring sound again.
There it is… and it's not alone.
Shoving his feet free of the covers, Rick stands, fingers running hurriedly through his bed hair, and he moves to snatch the robe from the chair. Shrugging it on while he continues, as if pulled by her bewitching tones, he walks toward Kate, towards her siren song.
And there she stands, comfortably situated at the kitchen bench, her summer dress flowing suggestively around her thighs as her long legs stretch and flex while she dances on the spot. Exposed toes float perfectly across the wooden floor and his mind drifts as he watches their movement.
"Hey, Mr. C. You're up!"
His mind unfortunately comes crashing back down to reality as he realizes for the first time that Kate is not alone. Spread once again across his counter, are piles and piles of fruit, and grinning gleefully behind it all is his daughter.
And–him.
Smiling sarcastically, he raises a hand in acknowledgement before strolling in Kate's direction; concentrates on her, rather than the insanity that has invaded his home.
"You know you don't have to get up so early these days, Beckett?"
Her smirk is his only reply and Pi takes the silent response as an invitation to join their conversation, beaming happily as he announces, "We were telling, Kay–te about our big idea."
Castle's eyebrows lift together at the way the young intruder pronounces his fiancée's name, the sleaze within his tone and it takes all he has to stay on this side of the bench.
To fight the urge to–fight.
"I think it's a great idea, and I can't wait to start!" The way Kate radiates excitement as she speaks has him doing a double take.
What the hell has he missed here?
"Idea?"
"Yes, Dad!" Alexis grabs ahold of her boyfriend's hand, enthusiasm spilling forth as she bounces on the spot. "The three of us are starting our own organic fruit stall at the market."
What the…
He looks at Kate, waits for the punch line and… nothing.
Nothing but elation from the three of them. Taking a deep breath, he scrubs his hand against his face, eyes closing as he counts to three, yet when he opens them, the scene before him persists.
"It's going to be out of this world, Mr. C. We're going to import exotic fruits so that we have more variety as we continue our wonderful journey as fruitarians."
Oh, this just keeps getting better and better.
"Your journey." A finger darts between all three. "You're all fruitarians?"
As their heads nod happily at his question, he focuses on Kate.
"You're becoming a fruitarian, too?"
"Of course, I can't be a part of such an amazing venture and not partake comprehensively."
The younger two continue their nodding as Pi confirms.
"Kay-te has started her journey this morning, taking her beautiful first step–giving up the evilness that is coffee."
What the…
"You've given up coffee?!"
To say he is astonished would be the understatement of the century, but he has a sinking feeling that this day is only going downhill from here.
"Castle don't sound so upset, it's just coffee."
Just coffee!
"It's not just coffee, it's how we greet the day, it's our unwritten expression of love, it's…"
"Just a drink, Castle."
His mouth opens and closes, yet nothing comes out.
Taking his silence as agreement, they turn back to the task at hand, resuming their pedantic chopping.
Waving a hand as if brushing their last conversation aside, Rick refocuses on their original bombshell.
"Back to the market. The three of you are going to be working in a stall together? Selling fruit?"
"Exotic fruit." His daughter adds.
"Organic exotic fruit." The interloper elaborates.
Ignoring them both, he concentrates on Kate.
"Beckett… Kate… I understand that being between jobs is…"
His fish impersonation begins again, his mouth not really knowing what to do. "But, if you want to be barefoot in the kitchen, I can think of better ways to get you there. If you're looking for something to do, I can knock yo–"
His sentence comes to a screeching halt as Kate elevates the knife enclosed within her hand as she screeches.
"Did you just insinuate that you wanted me barefoot and pregnant?"
Silence descends until Pi happily chirps, "You are going to be the best mom, Kay-te!"
Again, her name rolls off his tongue–unnaturally–and Rick fists his hands, blunt nails dig into his palm, shoulders contracting under the pressure.
"Oh thank you, Pi. That's sweet of you to say." Kate's adorable gaze washes over the younger man before she turns, her look morphing into a glare as it converges on him.
She maintains it for a moment, before going back to the fruit, the blade sliding effortlessly through the food. Kind of food.
"You do that so amazingly." Pi's hand indicates Kate's skill at chopping and once again, the little unwashed squatter is on the receiving end of her special grin.
"Kate's extraordinary!" Rick's words explode from his lips as his jealous green-eyed monster stupidly rears its head, but at least it gets his fiancée's attention.
"You're pretty talented too, Castle."
She throws love eyeballs his way and they hold the contact until they're interrupted.
"I bet Mr. C. is talented in lots of areas."
"Oh yes! He gives the most amazing massages. It's his fingers. All that typing. He has muscles on top of muscles."
He watches as Kate extends her fingers as if in demonstration and he shakes his head in disbelief.
Kate Beckett has cracked.
Being fired. His near death experience in D.C. Maybe it's all become too much and she has actually cracked!
"Okay, that's enough! No more. No more of this!" Castle's statement brings them all to a stop.
"I'm going back to bed. I'm going to close my eyes and this weird nightmare I have walked into will cease to exist. And when I wake up my world will be back to normal."
He points to Kate.
"You will go back to the coffee loving partner, fiancée–and speaking of which, where the hell is your ring?–who fights against crime and injustice."
His finger moves to Alexis next.
"And you will go back to College."
"And you–" His finger jabs the air as he directs his next comment to Pi.
"You will disappear from my couch!"
It's quiet, at least for a fraction of a second, before the trespasser laughs, "Oh don't worry about your couch, Mr. C. I hop off it as soon as it goes dark."
What the… that's it!
Pivoting on the spot, he stalks back into the bedroom. Throws his body onto the mattress in defeat. His hands grab the nearest pillow and he hurls it over his head. Escapes the reality he has now found himself in.
The hell he has found himself in.
Minutes tick by and he slowly feels himself relaxing, sinking further down, yet outside his cocoon, he hears a muffled noise. Feet shifting as they hit the rug that resides under the bed.
As fingers begin digging into the muscle of his shoulder, he breathes freely for the first time since he had entered the kitchen, since his world got tilted on its axis, and flopping over he turns to smirk seductively at…
"Don't worry, Mr. C. I'm pretty talented at massages, too."
Oh, fuck!
This is marked complete but I am open to bribery or ideas!
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Thank you to Caskett1 for all her help!
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Your comments are valued!