'Neil, it's time. Hattie wants one last word with you." I could barely force the words out. I hated these cases. I enjoyed spending a lot of time with Neil as we worked together, but I still hurt whenever Neil hurt- whenever there wasn't anything he could do to help a patient: when a mother died in childbirth because she refused more medical care than Alice's mid-wifing skills, or when feuding killed a good man. But this was different, this person was the last person in Neil's family still alive. I grieved when my baby sister died of scarlet fever, and Neil was there when my father died from a heart attack, but besides his confession about Margaret's drowning, I had yet to see him grieve someone he dearly loves until now.
He was staring out of the cabin, watching the birds she loved so much. Hattie's sweet tea concoctions and warm aroma's still linger in the air. It seemed as if he barely registered that I was talking to him, and so I started to reach out my hand to rub his arm. Startled, he gave me a sad smile before walking back to Hattie's bed. I had guessed that he would be distant, and as quiet as he was, he would always be friendly and open. I didn't want him to go back to the Neil that he was before he knew God. Although he was growing so quickly in his faith in God, he had yet to be tested in this way, and I was trying not to expect too much of him, but I was still so scared.
"Christy." I continued to stare after Neil as I felt someone pull me into a hug. "Thee didn't think thee and Neil would be the only ones to say goodbye to an old friend, did thee?"
"Oh, Alice. I'm sorry. Of course not, I did send John to tell you, didn't I? We just wanted some time before the whole Cove would run to her side." She smoothed my hair out with her hand in a motherly gesture.
"I know. I'll go relieve Neil." I felt myself reaching out again, but this time I was yearning for the wisdom of Alice's age. "Alice, I'm afraid. Neil's been sad, angry, and irritable lately."
"He hasn't hurt you?" She whispered harshly so that he couldn't hear us.
"No, nothing like that," I waved my hand, "but I'm afraid that this might give him a cause to turn his back on God. He has done it before." My eyes started to pool with tears. But I didn't hide my emotion. She gently wiped the tear from my cheekbone and held my chin in her hand.
"Look at me Christy. He loves thee so dearly. Keep an eye on him and encourage him to continue in his faith, but if thee is to be sure of one thing in life, it is that Neil has given his whole heart, and his whole future into God's hands, the Great Physician." She gave me one more hug. Neil's cry pierced the mountain air, and seemed to absorb all the sights and smells that were a part of Hattie. Alice rushed over to Neil, and bent down to close Hattie's eyelids with a touch of the finger. I couldn't bare it anly longer, seeing him hurting so much. I gathered him into my arms, and my face became wet first with his tears until my tears mingled with his. My first instinct was to pull his hand down towards my swelling baby bump. I couldn't bring myself to say anything about the baby and our happiness while Hattie died, but I could remind him that there were still possibilities in life, still a future for us despite the loss of his loved one.