This was meant to be a really short oneshot, and then it kind of morphed into a slightly longer oneshot. Just some Lyatt after they safe Rufus. Loosely inspired by "Alive" by Adelitas Way.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Timeless.
And I feel alive when I'm with you.
Every time it's something new.
Never knew what love could feel like
Until I walked away the first time.
And I feel alive when I'm with you.
Deep inside it's something true.
You're the only reason I fight,
You're the best thing in my life.
- "Alive" by Adelitas Way
Wyatt still wasn't entirely sure how they did it, but Rufus was safe. Once the welcomes and hugs were over, Rufus retreated to their room with Jiya. Wyatt didn't need to be told to avoid that room for a while - the two of them had some catching up to do. Flynn and Connor had retreated to their own rooms to rest, and Agent Christopher left to be with her family. The Future versions of Lucy and Wyatt had returned to their own time, while Present Lucy disappeared to her own room - leaving Wyatt alone.
He'd thought about asking Lucy if he could take Jiya's bed, but he didn't want to seem too forward. They hadn't really talked since he'd told her he loved her. There hadn't been time. Once their future selves arrived and the shock wore off, everything happened quickly. They couldn't stay long (some timeline stuff that went way over Wyatt's head), and everybody wanted Rufus back, so they didn't waste any time in bringing him home.
The past few days had been one hell of an emotional roller coaster for everybody - especially Lucy. Wyatt had seen the emotional toll Chinatown had taken on her; she still hadn't told him much, and Flynn outright refused to speak about it. But he saw it in her eyes. She'd lost her mom, her best friend, met herself and Wyatt from the future, and then managed to have her best friend come back to life. Add Wyatt's little confession on top of all that, and he really didn't understand how she was even functioning. Wyatt was on the verge of collapse, and he hadn't gone through half of her emotions.
He resigned himself to the couch, rather than bother her. Luckily, a pillow and blanket was still nearby from when she and Rufus had traded nights on the couch. He made up his bed, and collapsed with a groan. He closed his eyes, but was still awake half an hour later when somebody claimed the chair behind him. He assumed it was Flynn, coming to torture him about his issues with Lucy. The bastard had been openly judging him since their return.
"Shouldn't you be in bed?" he groaned, keeping his eyes shut.
"Can't sleep," that soft voice was definitely not Flynn.
He bolted upright to turn and face Lucy.
"Sorry - I thought it was Flynn," he said softly. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
"My neighbors aren't exactly being quiet," she gave him a weak smile. "But I'm not about to go and stop them. Those two have earned some time together."
"Want to stretch out here? I can move."
"I'm fine, Wyatt."
"You should be the most exhausted of us all," he pointed out gently. "You've been through more than any of us..."
"Wyatt," she stopped him from rambling. "I'm fine."
He didn't believe it. She was impossibly strong, but any normal person would be curled up crying in their room right now. Hell, more than once Wyatt felt like that's what he needed to do. He knew she was strong, but she was not letting herself feel anything. And that wasn't a good sign. He got off the couch, only to crouch in front of her chair.
"Lucy please don't take this the wrong way," he started carefully. "But are you fine? I'm not going to list what has happened in the past few days, but you cannot be fine. I know you. I know you're strong. But you are allowed to not be okay."
He felt like an ass, trying to get her to be emotional. But if she held all this in, it would only get worse down the line. He was starting to get through - her eyes were glossed over with tears.
"I'm not trying to make you upset," he assured her. "But you have got to let yourself feel this. You can hate me for this, but I'm not going to let you internalize everything. That's not healthy."
Her tears started to spill over, so he reached up to brush them away.
"Talk to me, please," he was on the verge of begging and he didn't care.
"I would if I even knew what I was feeling," her voice broke ever so slightly. "The last few days are just a big blur."
He rested a hand on her knee, silently encouraging her to continue.
"I shouldn't be so upset that my mother is gone," she sighed. "She lied to me my entire life. Tried to have me killed in Salem."
"Lucy, you're allowed to be upset that your mother is gone," he reminded her. "My dad was a complete dick but it still hurt like hell to loose him."
"And Rufus is back," she continued on like he hadn't spoken, staring off into the distance. "It shouldn't be so hard to see him."
"Lucy look at me," he ordered softly; she didn't, so he hooked a finger under her chin and turned her face toward his. "We still saw him die. That's not going to disappear for any of us. We're allowed to grieve, even if he's back."
"And then there's you," she whispered, and Wyatt's heart may have stopped for a second. He dropped his finger from her chin, returning to its place on her knee. "We had one night, and then Jessica was back. And she was here. And then she was Rittenhouse."
Each word was a little stab in Wyatt's heart. He knew she had been hurt, but he didn't realize how badly until now. He could see it in her eyes, feel it in her words.
"And when she was gone, you said you loved me," Lucy continued. "And then our future selves show up - which now I totally get why that was a rule because that was freaking weird. And somehow, despite everything that's happened in the last few weeks, you're still the only person I want to talk to this stuff about. Even if it's hard. Because for some reason, I love you too."
Wyatt was frozen to his spot. She actually said it back. He was never expecting to hear those words from her, not after everything he put her through.
"And I know you're beating yourself up about all of this," she added; now it was his turn to stare off into the distance. "And you shouldn't. I meant what I said the other day. Rufus isn't your fault."
"But messing us up - that's on me," he finished for her, finally looking up into her eyes. "You won't change my mind on that."
"I'm not trying to. But you can't take all the blame. I practically begged her to stay. I saw how happy she made you, and I didn't want that to go away."
He stood, pulling her up with him. He pulled her into a tight embrace, hoping it would emphasize his next point.
"I was happy," he agreed. "But not as happy as I was in Hollywood. Yeah, part of me will always love Jess. But not this Jess. That woman is … she's not the girl I married. I should have realized that sooner, and I didn't. I was just confused. You Lucy … I can't even put into words how much I love you. I'm not good at explaining these types of things … but I'm alive when I'm with you. I'm me. I didn't think I'd ever fall in love again, until you showed up and got all sassy with me at Mason Industries."
He felt her chuckle against his chest, and she wrapped her arms around his waist.
"You are the only reason I am fighting this fight through time," he continued softly. "You are the single ray of happiness in this godforsaken bunker. Those six weeks you were missing … it was hell. And when you got back from Salem, watching Flynn escort you off that Lifeboat was a knife in my heart. That should have been me. I never should have gone after Jess. All that did was bring pain to all of us."
He pulled away ever so slightly to look her in the eye again. "I'm sorry. You're the one who is supposed to be unloading, not me."
"No, it's okay. It helps, I promise. And you need this as much as I do."
He didn't even realize he had teared up until she reached up to brush his tears away. He leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead.
What on earth did I do to deserve someone like you?
"Don't be so hard on yourself," she smiled; he hadn't meant to say that out loud. "You're better than you give yourself credit for."
He didn't know how to answer that, so he pulled her tighter against his chest and kissed her. He poured everything into that kiss, and she accepted it willingly. He was about to deepen the kiss when he heard a groan behind him.
"Damnit not you two as well," Flynn sighed. "It's bad enough hearing those two down the hall. Now it's not even safe out here?"
Lucy buried her face in Wyatt's chest, embarrassed. Wyatt fought back the urge to smirk.
"Sorry Flynn," he sighed. "We weren't expecting company."
"Clearly," he huffed, grabbing two beers from the fridge. "I'll just go drink myself to sleep. Hopefully those two will pass out soon enough."
Grumbling about "horny teenagers," Flynn disappeared down the hall. Wyatt looked down at Lucy and they both burst out laughing.
"Sorry, forgot we were in the middle of the hanger," Wyatt smiled; he loosened his grip on her, but kept one arm around her waist. "Feeling any better?"
"Still exhausted," she rested her head on his shoulder. "But yes, I feel better after talking. Thank you."
"No problem ma'am."
"Come on," she laced her fingers with his. "You need rest too, and you wont get it on this damn couch. Take Jiya's bed if you want. I highly doubt she'll mind. We can turn on the radio to drown them out if they are still at it."
He brought her hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on the back of her hand. "Thank you."
She led him down the hallway, which was oddly silent. Wyatt assumed exhaustion finally won out in his old room. Still, Lucy flipped on the old radio she'd requested for her room, keeping the volume fairly low. Jazz filled the room as Wyatt closed the door behind him. Lucy crawled into her bed, but she stopped him before he could climb into Jiya's bed.
"Wait," her voice was quiet. "Will you …"
She didn't finish her question, but she didn't need to. "Are you sure?"
She nodded, and scooted against the wall to make room for him. He kicked off his shoes, and crawled in next to her. They were chest to chest; she lifted her head so he could move one arm under her, while his other arm rested on her hip, much like they had ended up in that trunk in the 1950s. He kissed her forehead as she snuggled into him.
"Get some rest," he said softly.
"You too," she sighed, already closing her eyes.
And for the first time in quite a while, Wyatt was sure he'd sleep just fine.
Sorry it ends a bit abruptly. I have too many ideas bouncing around in my head and I'm trying to keep them separate. I love these characters so much and just want to read and write as much as I can. I hope you enjoyed my story : )