The Hike
By Stormshadow13
Disclaimer, I don't own any of the X-Men characters. Please don't Sue.
Author's Note; "If this story doesn't make much sense, it's because I wrote it when I was in math class with a fever. So don't blame me if it's a little odd. Read and enjoy, lots of laughs!" Author runs off laughing maniacally.
Narrator, "It was a nice day in Bayville. Four people met at the Acolyte's base."
"Nice! What do you mean nice? It's raining cats and dogs outside," exclaimed Magneto, looking around.
Narrator, "All right, all right, it wasn't a nice day at the Acolyte base. The four people gathered in Buckethead's..."
"Hey!"
"...I mean Magneto's office were there for a planned hiking trip."
"But I don't want to go on a hiking trip! I want to go and destroy Wolverine!" snapped Sabertooth.
"Yeah! Who wants to go on a dumb hiking trip?" asked Mystique. "Where's the profit in that?"
Narrator (swetdrop), "As, I, was, saying, they were gathered, getting ready for a hike to Elephant Rocks."
"Why do we have to go to Elephant Rocks? Why can't we go to Buffalo Rocks?" whined Mystique.
Narrator (double swetdrop) "Because, I, said, so!"
"I don't want to go to Elephant Rocks or Buffalo Rocks!" whined Sabertooth.
"I don't want to go either! It's still raining." Now Magneto was whining too.
Mastermind was getting a worried look on his face. "Um, people, I don't think it's such a good idea to argue with the Narrator." He said, looking nervously around the room.
"Hey!! Don't look at us!" exclaimed Sabertooth and Mystique, "Magneto started it!"
Magneto, "Oops!"
"Hey! Wait a moment, the Narrator can't do anything to us" snickered Mystique with a smirk. "Only the Author can do stuff to the characters."
"Oh, but I can, since I'm the Narrator and the Author" thought the Narrator, grinning evilly.
"Yeah, and the Author isn't here! So what do you think of that you stupid Narrator!?" yelled Sabertooth, shaking his fist at the ceiling.
"OKAY! THAT's IT! No more Miss Nice Narrator! I was going to have this be a nice happy story, but now you-all went and really pissed me off! So we are going to the alternate scripts." You can hear maniacal laughter throughout the room.
"OH DEAR!!!"
"OH NO!!!"
"AWW man!!!"
"UH OH!!!"
There is a crash of thunder and the room grows dark then the Narrator appears in a flash of fire, and hands out new scripts. The four bad guys look at them.
"You're sending us straight to hell!" said Magneto, looking up from his script.
"I'm glad you noticed," the Narrator vanishes. AN; I should add that the Narrator has Dark brown hair, blue eyes and is wearing glasses. Also she is dressed in all white like Stormshadow in GIJoe minus the mask and even has a sword slung across her back.
Alternate Script, Story Begins Again.
Magneto led the way out of the Acolyte base and on to the hiking trail leading to Elephant Rocks, in the pouring rain, in his boxers, with the pink polkadots.
"But I don't wear boxers with pink polkadots," protested Magneto looking up at the sky.
"Too bad for you," said the Narrator grumpily. "Now stop interrupting my story."
Pyro was standing out of sight. He was a little nervous, because when the Narrator-Author calls you and tells you to go to a certain place and stand there, you get a little jumpy. Then Pyro saw the group walking towards the trail. He blinks, stares for a moment and then falls over laughing. Then there is a flash of light around his left hand and a camera appears with the words, BLACKMAIL, on it.
Back to the bad guys.
The group walked through the rain. They finally took a rest in a clearing full of poison ivy. Mastermind was being nice so he gets an umbrella and lawn chair.
Mystique, "That's not fare!"
"Shut up and plant your ass in the ivy." Said the Narrator sweetly.
"WITCH!!!" hissed Sabertooth under his breath.
"I heard that! So you can plant your ass in the ivy too!" snapped the Narrator beginning to sound a little crabby.
Mastermind just sat in his lawn chair smiling.
"I really don't like you," growled Sabertooth.
"I know you don't," said the Narrator sounding cheerful.
"Why can't we use our powers on her?" wispers Mystique.
"Because I'm The All-Powerful Author I control your lives in this story. Besides I can and will smite you." cackled the Narrator.
"This really sucks!" complained Mystique, looking around. "Hey, where's Magneto?"
Due to his attention problems, Magneto had wandered off.
He was walking through the woods, he, meaning Magneto, came face to face with a giant lizard monster.
Magneto, "EEEEEEEEP!!!!!"
Monster, "ROAAAAAAAR!!!!"
Magneto turns and runs.
Monster sighs, "Why do they always try and get away?" chases quickly after Buckethead.
The Narrator, is laughing madly in the back ground.
Magneto, "I HATE YOU!!!!!"
The Narrator laughs even harder.
Back at the rest sight.
"Alright this is getting annoying!" said Sabertooth.
"Why can't you just get up and move?" asks Mastermind, still setting happily in his lawn chair.
"Because the Narrator won't let...I mean we have to wait for Magneto, Our Fearless Leader, The Master of Magnetism and Soon To BE Ruler of the World," said Sabertooth.
Magneto runs into the clearing, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"
The Lizard Monster runs out of the trees after him, "ROOOOAAAAAAAAAAAR!"
Both vanish into the trees on the other side of the clearing.
"What the heck?" asked Mystique, blinking.
Magneto reappears flying by using his powers. He is still being followed by the monster, who is riding on a giant flying pickle. The two vanish again into the trees.
"Now hold on a moment! Pickles can't fly!" said Sabertooth.
Narrator, "Yes they can!"
Sabertooth, "No they can't!"
Narrator, "Yes!"
Sabertooth "No!"
Narrator "I see you want a bigger part."
Sabertooth pales, "No, No! THAT's OK!"
Narrator, "Oh, but I insist."
Sabertooth (swetdrop,) "SHIT!"
Magneto and the monster appear again. Magneto hides behind Sabertooth.
The monster stops. "You all are doomed!" it booms.
Mastermind quietly moves away from the rest of the group using his illusion powers to vanish against a tree.
Mystique smiles "Looks like four to one odd...Hey where did Mastermind go?"
The monster waves his arm and two people step from the trees. One is dressed in a turnip costume. "I'm Super Turnip!" he yells waving his arms.
The other is dressed in a costume just like Superman's except he has a double C on his chest instead of an S. "I'm Captain Crazy!"
"Attack!" roared the monster. The three lunged at the group.
Super Turnip headed for Mystique. "Eat your vegetables!"
Mystique, "Yuck!!!" she pulls a laser out and begins firing.
Super Turnip dodges her blasts yelling, "Eat your vegetables!"
The monster charges at Magneto. The only problem was Mystique was in his path.
"What'd I do!?" yelled Mystique looking around.
Narrator, "Nothing, I just don't like you!"
The monster stepped on Mystique, turning her into a Mystique pancake.
Captain Crazy is chasing Sabertooth around the edge of the clearing with a rubber chicken.
Mystique is back up on her feet she takes careful aim and turned Super Turnip into Crispy Fried Super Turnip.
Super Turnip, "Owowowowow!!!!!" falls over.
Mystique, "YES!"
Super Turnip gets up. "Eat your vegetables!"
Mystique, "Noooooooo!!!"
The three back away from Captain Crazy, Super Turnip, and Monster Lizard, "What do we do now?" asked Sabertooth looking around at the other two.
"RUUUUUUN AWAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" All three yell as they turn and run into the trees.
Monster roars, "Come back here!" He and the other two run after the fleeing three.
Mastermind drops his illusion and strolls off in the opposite direction.
The Narrator is laughing madly again.
The End
The moral of this story is, if you are a character in a story, don't make the Narrator-Author mad. You might regret it.