Hello! These are my stories, "Collections of thoughts.

*Summary- The what if's of Harry Potter. The secret yearnings. The private dreams. The hidden feelings. The forgotten characters. The other sides. The missing pieces. The manipulations. The Contemplations, mopes, memories, revelations, discoveries, and Realizations from the lost people of the Magical world.
Remember, I'm Pretty much MAD; so expect the very craziest of story lines.

*AN: Random Drabbles and Babbles. I've had many-cluttered Harry Potter one shots and have decided to empty my mind to be read by you Harry Potter fans. Hope you enjoy and interpret what you will. Review me your thoughts of my thoughts. :) UPDATE: The formating was really screwed up so I'm reposting it, hopefully all fixed up, and maybe I'll get some nice reviews once people can actually read it!

*WARNING: The first couple chapters are going to consist of this; SADNESS, GORE, HOPELESSNESS, DARKNESS, SELF-HATE, AND RAGE. I'm writing the sad and angry ones first. DO NOT READ if you do not enjoy stories like this, I'm writing them to vent about my own life through theirs. If you do not want to read things with such a heavy mood then do not read this story. However, if you do read and like these sorts of stories read on. If one is a bit much, feel free to review. You have been warned. (Always wanted to say that…:)

*Rating: M for various descriptions of pain, violence, anger, and sadness. Later chapters of happiness may include sexual situations.

-If people actually like this story then five reviews a day means an instant update (Unless I am otherwise engaged, beleive it or not I have recently acquired a LIFE! XD)
-Here's the format of these stories; These are really short one-shots. There will be three in each chapter and they describe situations and feelings of people from various points of view. Through out the story you will be left to figure out who each person is and at the end their name will be revealed. Sometimes they will be hard to guess and sometimes easy. Now remember, these are just some of my interpertations of the story. They will not always stay true to the original text so I would appreciate it if I do not get reviews around the lines of 'That never happened, that would never happen, you're Ruining Harry Potter, ext.' some of my favorite stories on this site that have inspired this one have gotten some harsh reviews similar to the above and I am really scared to get the same! Please keep that in mind and I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

-The sweet temptations of a self-proclaimed Monster-

He sat under his desk. He did this a lot, as if somehow the Potion wouldn't work. As if, if it didn't, the desk would somehow save him from himself. He feared for his mind to get lost in the dark swirling of the monster who itched to come out. He should know better.
He should a lot of things. But he didn't, doesn't, isn't, won't, can't, did, does, is, will, can, could.
He should be in his room but he can't bring himself to. He should trust his potion but he won't when so much could go wrong. He should have stayed at Hogwarts but he didn't when the risk of creating roots was so strong. He should be doing more to help with the Order of the Phoenix but he isn't. He shouldn't have fallen in love...but he did.
And he'd always have to live with that. Because not only did he fall in love but she fell in love back.
And now everything was falling
apart.
Ah, how sweet it would be to give in to temptation. To love and let love. To drown himself in the glory of his desire.
But he couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't, won't.
'Cause Remus Lupin, the self-hated man hiding under his desk and praying it wouldn't happen tonight, was a Monster doomed for misery and failure and he shouldn't let himself drag his beautiful Tonks down with him.
He shouldn't...but he did. And nobody knew that better than him as he watched her die.

-Welcoming cheers of doom-

The silently crying figure, obscured by flickering shadows, huddled under dark green sheets.
He tried not to ever sleep. He already looked like an un-kept corpse so it wasn't like he needed to worry about his slowly deteriorating appearance.
What he needed to worry about was the fact that although he was perfectly able to stay awake he couldn't escape the feeling of extreme drousiness. So, of course, every now and again, he'd have to give in the his exaustion.
Which was not an easy task. He may be tired, but as it's said above he had no problem staying awake. Which meant he did have a problem not staying awake. He'd lay...and lay...and lay...and sleep wouldn't come.
Fear is what kept it away. Fear of Nightmares. Fear of memories clearly represented in the nightmares.
Thankfully, no matter how strong the fear, sleep eventually, would come knocking. What else to do but politely answer the door and hope it isn't some mad-man with a wand in his hand and a curse on his lips?
He dreamt, as always, of unpleasant things.
It started out as yelling. He immediately recognized his Mother and Father's voices. They were arguing, as usual. He stayed in a corner, crouching on the dusty wooden floor and hoping his Father didn't enter to vent anger on his small back.
It was there that the floor suddenly began to shake. A hole appeared and began to eat away at the floor, quickly growing. He screamed as he soon found himself sitting on a round piece of floor, the hole surrounding him like he was an island and it was water. He jumped up yelling louder in horror as the flames licked up like a monster ready to devour him.
Then his parents were in the room, in front of him. He reached out for help as the floor began to shake again but they shook their heads.
Then a group of people appeared next to his parents, a group of school mates. He reached for them but they beckoned for him ignoring his outstretched hands. They began to point and laugh.
Someone else appeared, someone pale with snake-slitted eyes. He reached out to the frightning person, desperate for any sort of recognition, but the bald head shook with the answer 'no'. The thin slits looked amused.
Another figure appeared in the room, A tall figure with twinkling eyes in contrast to who they stood next to. He reached out to that new person but he too shook his head, silvery beard swaying.
Soon the room filled up with people, Teachers, acquaintances, friends and foes, people he'd glanced at on the street, the man who sold fish at the Market. They all shook their head at his pleading cries and outstretched hands.
The floor shook again and he fell unable to stay standing without the help of the people around him.
Then he was burning. He couldn't see and the smoke burnt his nostrils as he coughed trying to breath. It hurt and he screamed out smelling his own chared flesh.
That's when Lily would arrive. A shadowy figure in bright red with a lion's head that had green-green eyes. She was like a feirce Angel sent to save him from the flames. He'd always smile.
Then the scene would change, he was a little boy again walking up to the sorting hat. The hat was placed on his head and it covered his eyes, it was dark and he tried to lift the hat but it wouldn't bulge.
Slytherin, eh? You want Slytherin do ye' boy? Want to know everything don't ye'...even the dark stuff. Ye' want power, do ye'? Want to escape ye' troubles with magic?' Part of him wanted to say
'Yes! Of course!' But a dull throb of dread kept him from doing so. He stared into the darkness that slowly faded.
He was lying on his back, staring up at green leaves as they shook in the wind. He turned and saw Lily her eyes as green as the leaves he stared at moments ago. Joy overwhelmed him and he sat up, spreading his arms ready to hug her. But suddenly the forest darkened.
A group of people appeared behind him, Lily screamed. They pointed at her. The pale person with slitted eyes pushed him forward toward her. Her gazed moved to him, staring at him in fear and hatred. He raised his arm, then looked down in suprise as it moved.
He gasped, his arm wasn't his. It was pale gray and leathery and holding a wand that was not his. He tried to stop it's movements but he couldn't, he was frozen.
The wand pointed to Lily. He got one last glance at her furious and betrayed expression before a flash of green light blinded him and her body fell to the ground.
He shook his head, backing away. No! Not Lily.
'I don't understand!' He screamed staring at the mass of red curls surrounding his dead love's head.
'Don't you remember?' Hissed a voice 'Let this remind you.' The voice responded.
Then he was in a dark and shadowy room as a pale figure in dark robes glided toward him. His hair was dark and his suprisingly young face was contorted in a mixture of rage and malice overshadowed by a excited glow.
'Raise your arm.' he hissed as he raised his wand. He obeyed, he could feel a sneering smile on his face but it was like it was glued there. Like the body he was occupying was a body that was smiling but he himself, trapped deep inside, was screaming that this wasn't what he really wanted. The wand lowered to his arm and he couldn't help wincing as a searing pain swallowed his arm. And then things went blurry.
He was home and his mother was clutching him sobbing. He didn't understand.
'How could you! How could you do this. My son!...' Why is she so upset? He wondered as he also wondered why she was even paying attention to him in the first place and then he looked down and saw the dark mark of a snake burned into his flesh forever. A mark of his fear and shame. His biggest regret.
Then he was in the flames again, he waited, trying not to scream, for Lily to arrive.
She did as always. He watched as she reached out, but then she stopped. He followed her gaze to his arm.
'No!' He shouted. 'No...it's not...I...' but no amount of excuses could explain. Another figure apeared, another lion that wore round glasses and who's mane was ruffled. It was a handsome lion that was rich and well groomed and talented and popular with perfect parents and a bright future. The new lion figure smirked at him as he took Lily away on his broom that had a poster that said 'Just married' like on the back of muggle's cars.
Then he was in the woods again and he was running holding a snake in his arms and trying to protect it. He tripped and then he was slithering. He was scared and ashamed, hurrying from something but from what he did not know. Suddenly he realized he was a snake, and that surprised him slowing him. He was caught. He recoiled backing against a tree. There was a huge lion in front of him with green green eyes and it glowed with a golden-red glow. He knew it was Harry Potter. A voice boomed out of the lions mouth
'You chose this! You chose a house of Evil...and now that's what you are.'
It went dark again and the booming voice changed to the Sorting Hat's voice. He squeezed his eyes shut against the darkness but green flashes played across his closed eyelids seeming like they'd never end.
'This is what ye' wanted isn't it?' He couldn't answer before Sorting Hat yelled, 'Slytherin!' The patched thing was lifted off his head and the darkness left. He stared at the Great Hall in front of him that held not it's usual golden glow but instead was dim with flashes of green lighting it.
To one side sat the Griffindor table, on the end closest to him three great lions and a man with a silvery beard. He didn't look at them, he turned his gaze to the Slytherin table as cheers erupted.
There, in the middle, sat The Dark Lord, his arms outstretched, encouraging him over as the cheers got louder, welcoming him to his doom.
Severus Snape always woke up screaming knowing that the dream was his burning reality.

-Within the depths of numb pain-

Excruciating agony.
Wave after wave. Her spine rigid, fingers clutching at the rug she lay on.
It felt like fire and ice and needles and knifes and teeth and claws and hammers and drills and thorns and glass. It felt like each hair on her body was torn out. Like each fingernail ripped. Like each bone slowly crack until it broke and then rotated rubbing against the rest and braking them too. It felt like ach musscle stretched until it tore. It felt like her skin melted. Like acid was poured down her throat and in her eyes and ears. Like each tooth was pulled. Like she was slammed under a car smasher. Like each limb was slowly sawn off. Like getting hit by a train. Like drownding.
Strength was lost. She begged for mercy forgetting that she was a woman of pride and honor. She just wanted it to stop. It was torture.
But it didn't stop and she vaguely heard from within the depths of her agony, that word, that word that was repeated again and again.
'Crucio!' The voice was high and husky. Rough and full of evil malice. It sounded like metallic in her bleeding ears. And still the pain continued.
It burned through her veins swallowing everything else.
She forgot who she was. It was sucked away. Like everything in her was pulled out and thrown away and she didn't even have the energy to watch it go. She forgot what she was fighting for. She forgot those she loved. She forgot she was a human, forgot that there was such a thing as something other than this pain.
Eventually her body went limp, her screams stopped. She couldn't move or speak or see but she did not know that that wasn't the way things were
supposed to be.
She felt like she was floating on a misty cloud she had no idea how long she'd been like that. The confuision hurt less so she didn't push it away. She held no concept of time. She didn't think, remember, or dream. She didn't know she had a body. She couldn't really feel. Once in awhile she'd forget to breathe. She could sometimes hear strange noises, they sounded muffled yet echo-y. Far but also close. She could see faded bursts of dull colors and fuzzy shapes.
Alice Longbottom didn't know years had passed since the agony she'd endured and that her son, Nevile, was shaking her begging her to please come back to him.


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