'm not scared. She is a pinnacle of
color against the white abyss of nothingness. She cries out in protest, denial, sorrow. Isn't it what she
wanted? "Not you, too..."
I'm not sad.
But neither have I obtained
the elusive ambiance that I have spent my entire life searching for —
that a great many victim of tragedy have been desperately grasping at
— happiness.
My heart is still. Calm.
I have found peace in
my death,
... And that is enough.
She is facing the
other direction. I call out to her, and she turns towards me.
Our
eyes meet.
She is a heavenly visage — glistening green.
Glimmering pink.
Heart-wrenchingly beautiful.
But why then
does she weep?
The
tears she had shed will fall forever. There is no ground below for
them to meet.
She runs towards me, and we find ourselves
entangled in a long awaited embrace.
I have all of eternity to
hold her,
... And that is enough.
For us to be together?
When then does she seem so
distraught?
..::I Promise You Forever
S a k u r a
I long ago forgot the first time we met. Rather, it seemed that we had always known each other.
Of course, this was not the reality. Always is a big word used to describe a big, incomprehensible thing. It is a term tossed around too loosely nowadays, by people who have forsaken its solemn and sacred meaning. It is unwavering and repetitive, like a river — it flows continuously. It has no beginning, no end. It is not a circle, but instead the definition of a line: it stretches on endlessly in either direction.
Oh, if only we had always known each other. Just the concept is enough to make me blissful.
It went without saying, spring had always been my season. Between my namesake — befitting to my peculiar hair color, my date of birth, and my personality — spring was destined to be mine and I its. But as it came rolling around the corner of my twenty-first year, I could find little to rejoice for, despite the joy that the people I held dearest to me found in its coming. This was the spring that Ino would marry. This was the spring that Hinata would give birth to her first child. This was the spring in which Naruto would last be coronated as Hokage.
For me, this was just another spring that we had unsuccessfully managed to find him, another spring that I could not see his face, another spring that I was deprived of a part of myself.
The cherry blossoms were opening, venturing a glimpse at the start of new life. The lanes of Konoha were lined with vast, towering trees that somehow still seemed delicate and breathtakingly beautiful. But I was nothing but miserable walking amongst them, because unlike the trees, I was nothing but a flowered top without a trunk to support myself on. I wander about wistfully through my day, living out an empty shell of a meaningless life. Without him, I was unfulfilled.
I had tried to commit myself to relationships before, devoted myself to my training and education, anything to help me forget about him — but nothing could deter the reality that my heart still belonged to him, and it would always.
"Sakura?" Someone spoke my name. Or perhaps they spoke to the tree. But whichever the case may have been I turned to see the face of the person I already had recognized the voice belonged to. Despite the years, she had not seemed to have changed even the slightest, even though I had already discovered the secret behind her agelessness. But she seemed more weary, more defeated, like the flame of one of her candles had gone out. This was a woman who had seen one too many days of war, one too many deaths, and one too many heartbreaks. And I had come to the conclusion that my life would follow the same lonely course as my former mentor.
"Tsunade." I had dropped polite suffixes and dialog after she had insisted so, on the pretense that I had become her equal. She nodded, and the corners of her lips curled upwards slightly. Her expression was unreadable. Her amber eyes revealed nothing but grief, but her smile was happy and kind. "Nice day, isn't it?" I looked up into the sky aimlessly.
"You need a vacation, Sakura." She replied, approaching until we stood parallel to each other. "A break from this place. A distraction. Konoha holds one too many sad memories, doesn't it?" She sighed, but the sound was lost to the blustering wind.
"Yes, but it holds happy ones, too." I replied. The wind blew harshly, ripping the roseate petals from the flowers before they even had the chance to blossom fully. They whisked them away until they landed on the ground, awaiting to be trampled on. "But... Maybe I do need a vacation."
I packed nothing but a tent, a few yen and enough food for the day after confirming that the hospital could afford to lose me for a while. With the preparations made, I bid farewell to my friends, promising that I would return soon. Naruto insisted I be back in time to deliver his baby, Ino threatened to hunt me down if I didn't return in time for her wedding. I left on good terms, laughing and joking with the people I had grown up around and come to consider as not only part of my family, but part of my identity. Where was I going? Far away. How long would I be? As long as it took.
If I had known that as I looked back briefly on the faces of my friends, the rustling trees, and the old, familiar buildings — that it would be the last time I would look upon them, I might have looked longer. I turned and left my home, my life, my Konoha.
--
Memory was a fickle thing. One could never tell what they would remember from their life in the future, and what would be eternally lost beneath the filing cabinet that was our mind. I could remember the horror I had felt upon seeing Naruto steal away his first kiss, which I had been determined to make my own. I could remember how terrified he looked when he faced off with the snake sannin Orochimaru for the first time. I could remember how his voice squeaked adorably when he yawned.
And there were somethings that made such a strong impression that it was simply impossible to forget, even if you didn't want to remember them: Boiling hatred. Bubbling anger. Nothing but a thank you as he mercilessly brushed away my proclamation of profound adoration and shattered my heart into unrepairable pieces.
We met again completely by rare chance. Or perhaps, if you believed in that sort of thing, it was inevitable fate.
It seemed silly in comparison to the reunions that I had pictured so vividly in my mind: After a long a perilous search we would at last discover him and use our developed strengths to return him safely home. Or, he would at long last realize his terrible mistake and return to us willingly, walking through the gates of the village as our friend and comrade once more. After such a long and dramatic struggle, I pictured a long and dramatic reuniting.
I was buying tent pegs. In a local ninja goods store in a village on the outskirts of the country, seeing as I had conveniently forgotten to bring my own and the wind was growing more fearsome by the night. I was paying the cashier when I heard the musical tinkle of a bell as the shop door opened. Instinctively, I looked to see who had entered, and my mind went blank. Even after six years of change and growth he was still unmistakably himself, if it were not the recognizable hairdo, then his miserable expression.
Our eyes met. He stood frozen in the entrance as the door swung shut behind him. His eyes were as sharp and piercings as ever, black bottomless pools of unimaginable pain and suffering. They bore right into my soul, and looked out the other side. Before him I was transparent and naked. I was sure that my heart had stopped beating and the breath had been stolen right out of my chest, and that he had both killed me and brought me back to life on the spot. He opened his mouth, as if to speak.
"Miss? Here's your change." The cashier interrupted. Snapping back into my senses, I grabbed the change from his outstretched hand and hurried out the door without a passing glance, my shoulder brushing against his.
My heart came back into life with a start, beating wildly against my ribcage as I sped-walked down the street, until the anxious feeling overcame me and I broke into a frightened run. I ran as fast as my shaking legs would carry me, stumbling over nearly every rock and stick that barred my path, before collapsing finally against a tree and sinking down to its base, giving myself away to hyperventilation.
I listened to the sound of rubble scrunching under the grooves of his boots as he approached and came to a stop in front of me. My vision crept up his legs, over the exposed gap of his chest, resting at last on his stoic face. "You forgot these." He said, extending the tent pegs towards me. The sound of his voice exploded in side of my head, slamming into me, each word like a brick thrown at my heart. I nodded slowly, opening my mouth but unable to utter so much as a 'thanks.'
He squatted so that we were eye level and gave me a scrutinizing stare, a crease forming in his brow and a frown edging its way into his features. "Have you forgotten me so easily, Sakura, or do you just not recognize me?" He asked.
I at last found my voice, and managed to force out a sentence, even if only a weak and quiet one. "Forget?" My voice quivered as I spoke. "How could I forget you when your ghost relentlessly haunts me? How could I not recognize you when your face plagues my mind?" I wrapped my arms around my knees protectively, creating a barrier in between himself and I, and tore my gaze reluctantly away from his face. I could not stand to look at it any more than one can stand to look directly at the sun. "I just don't believe this is happening. You can't possibly be here. I've finally lost my mind. You've driven me out of my mind. I'm probably sitting here talking to myself."
"You are as sane as I am." He replied. I laughed bitterly, squeezing myself reassuringly.
"I knew it! If that's the case, then I am sitting here talking to myself." He scowled, and I laughed, and laughed, and laughed — until the laughter turned into hot, stinging tears and choking sobs, and I sat bawling in front of him. He let out a brisk, annoyed exhale
"Stop that." He ordered. I wailed louder and chucked the tent pegs at his head, distressed when he avoided them effortlessly. "Stop that!" He repeated. I shook my head back and forth defiantly, burying it deeper into my arms and lap, until I had curled myself into the fetal position. How could he ask me to stop after what he had done to me, what he was doing to me? I thought the wound was starting to heal, seeing his face again had ripped it wide open again, and I was bleeding to death in happiness.
It really was happening. He really was here, in front of me, the same Sasuke that he had always been. The same one that had won my heart over with nothing but a look my direction and had torn it apart with nothing but two words. The same Sasuke that I had wasted my youth and devoted my life to chasing after, he sat only a few feet away from me. I flung my arms around his neck shamelessly, pulling myself closer to him, and cried against his chest. "You heartless bastard!" I sobbed. "I'm going to kill you!"
He didn't push me away until after my tears had run their course, when he gently plucked me off of him. His face remained impassive, unmoved either direction by my open display of affection. He rose, taking me by the arm and lifting me up with him. "Come." He instructed as he turned and walked down the streets. He did not need to say any more. I followed after him without question. I was not able to control my obedience to his will.
We walked. I made no attempt to keep his pace or walk at his side, and was content to follow after him like a dog on an invisible leash that connected his hand, which rested at his side, to my throat. He strutted onwards calmly, as if out meeting was nothing out of the ordinary that would call for an evoke of showed emotion, looking over his shoulder occasionally to make sure that I was still there. We walked wordlessly until we were well out of the town and deep into the shady wood that surrounded it, and I would not question him, not even to find out where it was he lead me or why. I was afraid that if I spoke, I would wake up, it would be all over, and he would be gone again.
But no, this was quite clearly no dream. After years of waiting, hoping, I was at last able to look upon him again have the satisfaction to know that he breathed the same air that I did. His movements, his mannerisms, and his expressions were all so familiar and nostalgic that it was overwhelming. I felt as though my chest was about to burst from joy and misery, and a fearful uncertainty.
At last we came to a stop in a clearing in the wood, where I assumed he had set up camp. There was a single tent erected, looking drearily forlorn in the uninviting shade of the forest. It was quite clear by the supplies that were laying around that he was traveling by his lonesome, rather with the companions he had been with last we heard of him. He walked over to the blackened remains of a fire and breathed life into it. Ribbons of flame lurched upwards, cackling and cracking. "Sit." He said, motioning towards a log that lay across from where he seated himself. I obliged, and he passed me a half-empty water canteen. "Drink."
As I hesitantly sipped the water, I could feel his smolderingly intense stare burn into my face. "Please don't look at me." I muttered, keeping my eyes directed embarrassedly downwards. "I can't breath when you look at me."
"Sorry." He replied without a hint of remorse and without letting up his gaze. I shifted uncomfortably and screwed the cap back on the water bottle, setting it down on the uneven ground and resting it up against the log. I wished that Sasuke was not such a difficult person to read and understand, because I didn't have the slightest idea of what he might be thinking during his silent examination of me, and it was entirely unnerving.
"You never used to look at me before." I whispered, braving to look up and meet his intimidating eye. His lips were pulled into a thin line across his face, almost pursed, and there was something foreign and unrecognizable hidden in his onyx orbs. "And now you won't stop. Why?"
"You're different." He said, without batting an eyelash. "You've changed."
"Is that all I came here to be told?" I asked bitingly, rising with an indignant huff. "You're not going to tell me where you've been? Or that you missed me?" I asked sarcastically, turning and storming back the way we had come. Now that my overpowering joy at seeing him again had dimmed down a bit, my anger towards him for abandoning me and Konoha began to peak. Naturally, it wasn't long before he had caught up and snatched me by the wrist, rooting me in place. "Leave me alone!" I hissed.
"Sakura." He whirled me to face him. "I missed you."
How could he be so unusually cruel as to say that and obviously mean it? "Then why didn't you come back?" I demanded, tearing my wrist from him and creating a pace or two more distance between us. He stepped forwards again in pursuit. "If you don't tell me, I'm going to leave."
"You know why." His voice lowered a few pitches threateningly, indicating that this was a topic that he did not wish to discuss with me and his frustration. I'm sure that he was quite used to people submitting to him willingly, and showing no resistance towards his will, and was upset by my noncompliance. "I have a goal that I must accomplish, and I cannot return to Konoha until it is."
"Don't give me that shit!" I spat. "We found the body, or what was left of it after you were done, anyway. Itachi's been dead for years!" He flinched at the sound of his deceased elder brother's name. I didn't care if I was treading in dangerous waters, or fear what he might do to me if I took my anger too far and said something that would sign my death warrant. I was much too emotional to care. "You have no excuse!"
"He had an accomplice." Sasuke snarled, silencing me instantly. "But the matters of the Uchiha are no concern of yours. I didn't bring you here to talk about such things, and I will not. Now," he jabbed a shaking finger towards the log. "Sit." I reluctantly complied, and returned to the log and sat on the rough surface of the bark. He seemed satisfied, and returned to his seat, jabbing at the flames with a stick as he passed.
"What did you bring me here to talk about, then?" I asked. His eyes were fixated on the fire, and for once not at me. Without the pressure of his stare I felt a little less irate. He remained silent, and I wondered for a moment if he had not heard me. "Well? Why exactly am I here, Sasuke?"
"I don't know!" He snapped.
"Oh." I said. I realized that I was smiling, and couldn't remember how it had gotten there. "Sasuke?"
"What?"
"I missed you... too."
--
The world seemed to... stop. When I was alone, together with him, we were so high that not even time could wrap its massive cloak around us. We were untouchable, a universe all of our own coinciding with the one we had found ourselves in while we were apart. But I knew it would not last forever. He was bound to up and leave once again, and leave me undoubtedly deeply wounded, forced back to the beginning, where the difficult healing process would take place all over again. But I tried not to dwell in the future too much, as I was euphoric in the present. It was surreal.
The pain was definitely worth it. Just to see him, to talk with him once more.
He seemed content to sit in silence and listen while I chatted on incessantly about what he had missed in the nine years he had been absent in our homeland. The surprise was evident on his face when I announced Naruto's marriage to Hinata and that their child was to arrive soon, and he looked literally quite dumbfounded when I revealed that he was soon to become Hokage, but said nothing. I continued on, listing off the people of his past who had paired off with each other. Neji had married his kindly teammate Tenten, Shikamaru had finally gathered up the effort to propose to Temari, and Ino had become hopelessly enamored of Sai.
There was a flicker of something unidentifiable in his eyes, and then he turned to me seriously. "Sakura, are you married?" I was thoroughly taken aback by his unexpected question, and blinked in surprise before responding in laughter.
"Me? Of course not! I've had a few flings here and there, but..." The words died in my throat when I caught his expression. He was enraged, his normally ebony eyes a vibrant scarlet. She sharingan seemed to spin with captivation, and I could not look away. My breath caught in my throat. I half expected him to lunge forwards and rip out my throat. Instead he asked, his voice a low murmur, a completely unanticipated question.
"Are you still a virgin?"
The egotist. It didn't take me long to catch on to the purpose of his rude interrogation. He had assumed that I would save myself for him, even after he had left. My sex life was really none of his business, but if he wanted an answer, I would certainly give him one. "No." I lied flat-out. So what if I had saved myself for him? I certainly wasn't going to let him have the satisfaction of knowing that I had.
His dark brows drew together, his eyes narrowing into a glare that caused my heart to skip a beat. "Why are you lying?"
"I'm not--!"
"My eyes can see everything, even through your feeble attempts at lies." He interrupted. His disapproval was seen clearly through his face, but even when his it was crumpled into a furious glower, he was still inhumanely beautiful. He was the very embodiment of perfection, and I felt humbled to even so much as bask in his imposing presence. Even after all the years I had spent committed to improving myself, he was still way out of my league. "If you do not wish to share your reason for lying, I've found out what was most important to me."
"What does it even matter to you?" I asked haughtily, some of my valor returning as his eyes dimmed into until black.
"I'd hate to have to kill more people."
The man, he spoke in riddles. Just when I thought I had something figured out about him, he'd say something unclear and full to the brim with blatant implications. It was frustrating to no end, but I suppose that was the way that Sasuke was. There was no point in trying to paint spots on a zebra. "Why have you taken such an interest in me now, anyway? What do you find so fascinating about me now that you didn't before?"
"You're a woman."
Oh, so because I had grown some breasts I now deserved his attention. I think he had meant to flatter me, and although he had to some extent, my offense heavily outweighed it. I refused to meet his eye, folding my arms across my chest and turning my head away snootily. "I'm not something that you can dispose of carelessly and then demand back once I'm polished."
"I did not dispose of you, I merely put you away for safekeeping." He had stood, and was now wandering towards me. I stiffened, the closing distance between us bringing about an impending sense of fear. Riddles, riddles, nothing but riddles. Why couldn't he come out and say something openly? What was I supposed to think of that? He knelt by my side, and although my chest ached to look at him, my pride kept my head turned. A hand reached up and touched the side of my face, urging it towards him. I melted into a pile of submissive goop under the feel of his skin on mine. His eyelids were half shut over his dark eyes, filled to the brim with such heat and passion that my pulse started racing. He drew in nearer, until I could smell the intoxicating scent of cinnamon on his warm breath. "I'll take back what's mine, now." He leaned in.
Before his lips could claim mine, I spoke. "I'm not yours." I whispered, but even I didn't manage to fool myself. "What makes you think that I'm yours."
"I want you to be mine." He murmured in a deep, husky voice that sent shivers rocketing down my spine. The effect that he had on me was unfair. I could hardly remember my own name any longer. "Because I've come to realize something."
I expected him to comment on my physical appearance, which had brought all the boys back into Konoha to my door, or about his insatiable male urges. I would have readily accepted either, thrilled at just the idea of him wanting anything to do with me, but instead he uttered those three words. And as soon as they were air born, even before they had rendered in my brain, the world seemed to just... stop. When I was alone, together with him, we were so high that not even time could wrap its massive cloak around us. We were untouchable, a universe all of our own coinciding with the one we had found ourselves in while we were apart. And this that I honestly believed... We would could stay like that forever.
"I love you."
"Say it again."
"I love you."
"...Again."
"I love you."
"...Once more."
"I love you."
"God knows I love you too!"
S a s u k e
It took me a grand total of three seconds to realized that I was still attached to her, three minutes to recognize the drastic change that had taken place, and three hours to come to the undeniable conclusion that I was in love with her.
Just a look at her face and all the armor that I had spent years gathering and perfecting to ward off unnecessary attachments was shattered, and I was left venerable and defenseless. Maybe if I had some time to prepare beforehand, her sudden appearance might not have had the effect it did on me. The protective layer around my heart was torn off, and it was suddenly like an egg without a shell: easily swayed. It had been years since I had even nothing more than an acquaintance to speak with. Since I had been touched. Since I held been held.
The first indication that something was horribly afoot was when she attempted to inflict me bodily harm. The second was when she called me a quote-unquote: 'Heartless bastard,' and threatened to kill me. The mindlessly doting Sakura I knew was buried under piles of frighteningly aggressive woman. I also noticed, with disappointment, that she had not grown her hair back out although given the opportunity. I had no idea who had been the origin of the ridiculous rumor, but way back in my academy days it leaked that I was fonder of girls with long hair. There was no truth behind it, because I honestly didn't have an opinion either way — but it had been a sign of her affection towards me and was therefore missed.
It had started but as nothing but a pinprick of an unfamiliar something within my chest. Each moment I spent with her, each sound she made from her tempting mouth, each graceful movement that my eye caught, it expanded. Before I knew it, it had completely consumed my heart. It continued to spread like a terminal virus through my body, contaminating my mind, the tips of my fingers and toes. It was a throbbing, desirous and passionate thing, ready to burst if it only swelled the tiniest bit further. And then her mouth curled into a smile, and it exploded — coating my insides with unconditional love.
When she mentioned the other men that had replaced me briefly, I knew I had to claim her before it was too late and she was lost to another, more undeserving man. I coerced her into my bed, and lost my innocence as I stole hers.
There would never be a sight more pleasing to the eye than her naked form besides me, lying on her side and I on mine, facing each other. Her cheeks were flushed a delicious shade to match her hair, her emerald eyes still mirroring her unhidden pleasure, her chest rising and falling in the heavy breath that she was trying to calm. Her swollen lips were drawn subconsciously up in a simper. I clutched the hand that rested by her face, and clenched it in my own. "Be mine." I panted.
"I'm yours." She whispered, her eyes drifting shut. She was tired, as was I.
"Promise me." I said.
"I promise you." She assured me softly. "Forever."
I willed her to sleep in my arms always.
--
Words did not need to be spoken between us to come to the agreement that she would accompany me everywhere that I went from now on. I knew that she wished to remain at my side almost as much as I wished her to, and I promised myself that I would not allow any harm to come to her. I was much too selfish to let her go free any longer. New meaning had been sparked back into my life, and the days seemed less dim when I held her hand.
I would not forget about my oath to bring to an end the life of Uchiha Madara, even if now it was only a precaution to keep her safe. She was an irreplaceable feature of my life now, and forever more. The future mother of my children. My future wife. My future. And I would preserve her life even at the cost of my own.
The days seemed to run together, passing by much too quickly for the slow, paradisaical pace of our lives anew with one another. Daylight hours were spent traveling like peaceful nomads to wherever my leads on the Akatsuki whereabouts would take us next, indulging in the heavenly glow of each other's company. Each kiss would wipe my mind blank like a cloth on a slate, and set aflame the never ending lust and desire that I harnessed towards her. But most importantly, they caused my chest to swell with the emotion that for so long I thought I was incapable of feeling any longer. She was amazing, able to cause even a heartless bastard like me to fall head over heels in love with her.
Our nights were spent indulging in our physical wants and needs. Nothing could compare to the feeling of two bodies that shared a single mind, and moved together towards a common goal in unison. It put to ease any frustrations of the day or that we felt towards each other, because it was impossible to feel any negative feelings towards our partner as we made love. She gives me something that cannot be recreated. Making love to her is better that tomatoes. Making love to her is better than vengeance.
But our rapturous lifestyle of floating through the days was about to draw to a close as reality came crashing back down on us. As we neared our second month of togetherness, something, or rather someone, would wedge themselves in between us. I had always imagined that if the world tried to come in between us, I would push it away with my own two hands and start a new one for just the two of us. But unfortunately, Naruto was a part of her world that she wanted to keep.
The morning was quiet. When I woke up, she had already left the tent and taken her clothes. The first time I had woken up to find her missing, I nearly burnt down the forest, terrified that she had left me. But now she hummed as she made breakfast, to confirm her presence just outside the tent. I closed my eyes for a little while longer to listen to melodious sound of her voice, but then it was interrupted by a rustling in the bushes. I bolted towards the tent door, sword in hand, ready to attack whoever dared approach us, but calmed myself when I heard his unmistakable voice. "Sakura-chan! I've finally found you!"
There was a clatter of a utensil being dropped to the forest floor, followed by her gasp. I remained hidden inside the tent, unsure of how the unpredictable blond might react to seeing me. "Naruto!" Her voice called out in a lower, agitated whisper. "What are you doing here?" Apparently, she wasn't all that elated at the sight of him, either.
"What do you mean, what am I doing here? Looking for you, of course. Sakura, you've been gone for nearly eight weeks! Everyone's been worried about you." I could feel the tapping noise of footsteps and rustling of movement, and tensed nervously. I yearned to know what went on outside the tent, hidden to my eyes. "We all thought you ran off. What are you doing in the middle of nowhere like this...?"
"Naruto!" She urged, her tone growing desperate. "You can't be here! We can't talk here, you have to leave! Now!" My mind raged in war, debating whether to keep my presence hidden or venture outside to make sure things didn't get out of hand. "Go back home, I'll send you a letter. Please, Naruto. Go back to Konoha, I promise you that I'll tell you everything soon enough. Quickly! You have to get out of here!"
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that she dreaded a meeting between the two of us, seeing as the last few ones had ended poorly and violently. I listened to the sounds of their voices and tried to attach them to locations to determine where they were standing and what they were doing. "What are you talking about...?" He asked, his voice revealing both confusion and alarm. "You're acting weird, Sakura-chan! What's going on? I'm taking you back home. You've got to come home!"
Their came shuffling noises as they got physical. This was enough to drive me out of the tent, pulling my shirt around my shoulders as I went. When he saw my movement out of the corner of his eye, Naruto froze and turned towards me. He looked the same as he always had, with the exception of a couple inches of growth and a hardened jawline. He had been trying to tug Sakura along with him towards the direction of the woods that lead home wards, and she dug her heels into the ground to resist, but he dropped his hands at his sides when he looked upon me. His mouth fell open, his eyes widening. "You're upsetting her." I said.
"You..." He mouthed, before his face crumpled into a furious look. "You bastard! What have you done to Sakura-chan?"
I had always found it amusing to jerk Naruto around and play with his competitive nature, just to see how easily angry I could make him. "The question is: What haven't I done to her?" A smirk fought it's way onto my features as his face paled. "I don't think I've let her be on top yet. I've taken a liking to that position."
"Sasuke!" Sakura exclaimed, mortified. Naruto clenched his shaking fists, letting out a feral growl before launching towards at me. I had been prepared for the attack, and could have avoided him and conflict easily, if it had not been for Sakura who threw herself in front of me thoughtlessly and wrapped her arms around my waist, as if it were she trying to protect me and not the other way around. Thankfully, Naruto had spotted her seconds before he followed through with his attack, coming to a sudden halt in front of us. I could see the pain on his face.
"Oh... so that's how it is." He muttered. With that, he span around and stormed towards the woods. She made a move as if to follow him, but I tightened my grip around her and kept her pinned possessively against my body. She looked up at me pleadingly, but I would not let her go. I would not let her be tempted to leave me.
"Naruto!" She called after him, struggling half-heartedly against my grasp. "Naruto, don't go back yet. We can talk now, I can explain." He continued on walking without so much as looking back at her. "You don't understand!" She cried desperately. "I love him!" But those words caused him to whir, looking both distraught and galled.
"I'm getting reinforcements to help me deal with the two of you!" He bellowed. "You're out of your mind, Sakura! You've gone crazy! The traitor's brainwashed you!" He pointed an accusatory finger in my direction. I felt slightly offended. "Someone's got to knock some sense into you, but I'm not going to be the one to do it. You're beyond my help!"
He turned and faced back towards the woods again, and as soon as he did I was standing in front of him. To have half of Konoha on our tails would be a difficult thing to deal with at the time, and there was no guarantee that she could keep up with me while we tried to make our escape. Before he had time to react, I delivered the blow to a pressure point that brought him into immediate unconsciousness. He sunk to the forest floor as Sakura yelled out in panic and rushed towards us — I couldn't tell whether to my side or his.
I gripped her firmly by the shoulders and held her out in front of me. "Don't you ever throw yourself in front of me like that again, do you hear me?" I snarled. "I won't let you endanger yourself like that. I am nothing without you, do you understand? My life has no meaning if you're not in it. I wont stand by and let you recklessly toss yourself to your death!" She stood staring at me in bewilderment, startled by my sudden outburst.
Then her face fell, her eyes downcast, her lips pressed against each other. "Do you honestly not think it's the same way for me?" She asked me quietly. "How is it fair that I be forced to live without you just because you don't think you can live without me? Aren't I allowed to be selfish, too?" I pulled her against me, gripping her as tightly as I could manage without hurting her. She fell limp in my arms.
"The difference is — I'm no good for you. You deserve so much better. Someone who doesn't hurt you like I do. But while I'm living, I just can't let you go. Don't you see, Sakura? You're my prisoner. You would be better of if I was dead."
"Shut up." She yelled, pounding a closed hand against my chest with nothing but halfhearted effort. I knew that she could shatter all the bones if my body if she wanted to. "Don't you say such things! You have no idea what it was like for me when you left. You have no idea how hard it is for me to hear you talk about yourself like that. I won't let anybody speak about you like that, not even you! You have no idea how much I... love you."
I pressed my mouth against her hair and held her head against my chest, running my fingers through the rosy tresses. She let out a cross sigh and muttered something incomprehensible. "If your love amounts to even a fraction of mine, than of course I understand." I said. "I will not let you die in front of me. Besides, it's embarrassing to be protected by a woman."
When Naruto began to stir, the moment that we had tried to steal was interrupted as the reality of what we had done began to sink in. "We need to run." I continued. "Before he has a chance to return to Konoha, we have to be far enough away that they have no hopes of tracking us." She pulled away from me, her eyes glistening wetly, and stared at me in open-mouthed protest. Even though she had given me her heart, I still could not control its loyalty to our former teammate. "I'm sorry." I said, before she had the chance to beg me to change my definite resolve. "I wont let you leave me."
Her face was sullen and disappointed, but she nodded in agreement. Before he had come round and regained his consciousness, we were long gone.
Maybe the only thing I was really good for was running away.
--
It was laughable that I had spent my entire life searching for something, but wanted to turn and run from it the moment that it was uncovered. My encounter with Uchiha Madara would be our first and last.
We had fled in confidence, certain that we would evade the ever-persistent blond Hokage-to-be. I had always known that Naruto was rash, but I had never expected that he would have been foolhardy enough to pursue us without returning to Konoha first for reinforcements. Or maybe it was cleverness that had driven his unsuspected act, because it was honestly much more difficult for us to deal with than if he had chosen the reasonable option. I had never told Sakura that he was right on our tail, keeping his distance and well hidden, because I did not want to worry or upset her. Even though I had noticed, she seemed to have not.
I assumed that Naruto was also under the impression that neither of us had realized he had followed after us, judging by the fact that he hadn't announced himself in his usual loud and boisterous way. He was no doubt waiting impatiently for the right time to strike — waiting until I left Sakura's side, even for a few minutes. And this was where I was driven into a difficult corner.
When I stumbled upon reliable information of Madara's whereabouts, I was brought to the fork in the road. Neither of which would lead me on the path I wanted to take. On the one hand, I refused to take her with me and expose Sakura to such a danger. But if I left her behind to go to him on my own, she would be swept up in the blink of an eye by a waiting Naruto. It would have been safer for her, and therefor, what I should have chosen without another thought. But I tried to imagine what it would be like if I could never see her again afterwards. If I died in battle, which I was certain I wasn't, and she was far miles and miles away from me. I didn't want to die alone.
"You're troubled by something." She said as we lay beside each other one night, waiting for an easy sleep to claim us. It was a question, a signal for me to elaborate and let her inside of my closed mind, into my stressed and frantic thoughts. "Sasuke."
"I found him." I said, and I did not need to explain myself more than that. She paused, as if trying to think of the right thing to say. I held her in my arms, against my chest, where she was safe and I was satisfied. I squeezed her tightly and she held her breath. "Sakura, promise me something."
"Anything." She replied.
"Tomorrow, when you wake up and I am gone, make no attempt to follow me."
But I'd rather die alone than have her die with me.
The morning was peaceful. Even the birds were still at rest, nestled up to each other to share whatever little warmth they had, their minds at unconscious ease. She lay still, her chest rising and falling with even breaths, and I brushed her hair away from her eyes and mouth with gentle fingers. I mouthed a silent goodbye and dressed, gathering my belongings, preparing to face whatever may lay ahead of me. She remained fast asleep.
He was there as soon as I stepped out of the tent, his impassioned azure eyes ablaze. "Sasuke." He spoke my name without malice, but rather a polite but uncensored friendliness that did not slip past my notice. "I know where you think you're going, but I don't know what you think you're doing." There was a familiar maturity in his voice that I had recognized for the first time when he caught me at the valley of end and we had engaged in our first unrestricted battle. "You're not seriously planning to try to take down the entire Akatsuki without any help, are you?"
"That was the intention, yes." I replied coolly. There was a yawn and the sound of stretching that came from inside of the tent. I had wished I would not have to face her for what could be our final goodbye.
"Well then, I'll inform you that I just also happened to be going to face the Akatsuki on my own today. It had nothing to do with you, really." He said with an impish grin. "It's just a coincidence." I could hear the shuffling move quicker and more eagerly as she struggled to get out of the tent at the sound of Naruto's voice. The tent flap opened and she stepped out, her green eyes wide with surprise. He directed his smile towards her before turning back to me. "Or maybe I do want to help. The three of us could take down those bastards easily."
I jumped at the word 'three.' "She's not coming!" I yelled firmly. By now she had seemed to catch on to the subject, and her face twisted into a look of contort.
"I am too coming--!" She argued, but I would not hear it. I would not allow her to even so much take a risk at a hair being harmed on her head. I would never be able to live with myself if someone so much as touched her.
"There is no chance, no way, that you are going to follow us." I replied. "You could get hurt. You could get killed. I wont allow it. It's not going to happen. And that is final."
"And are you going to stop me?" I nodded. "You and what army?" I opened my mouth to reply, but hastily shut it. I had no response with truth to back it up. I would not allow for any one to lay hands on her harmfully, and that included myself. The only way to force her into anything was to resort to the use of physicality. "I'm coming."
"She'll be fine, Sasuke-teme." Naruto added in. "She's a lot tougher than you seem to think!" The air was filled with his laughter, and then the sound of awakening birds. "Team seven reunites! Together, were untouchable."
Oh, how I wished.
--
Even when she lay dying, the war raged on. It was incessant, unstoppable. We had devoted our lives, and now given our lives to putting an end to it at last, but still it pressed onwards despite our futile but wholehearted attempts. Even with our sacrifices there would be no end to it. Another power hungry enemy would arise, blinded by insanity and the inescapable hold of evilness. Those tortured and sent spiraling into tragedy by it would rise and attempt to fight back, and even when the battle was won the war between the good and the evil would never be over.
Peace was a figment of our imaginations.
"I told you..." I whispered, looking into her half-closed eyes that were unfocused and tired-looking. The life and color was leaving them, dimming into the death that took hold of her. "I asked you." Her breaths were ragged and desperate. I was soaked with her blood. My heart was numbed with grief and fear and hatred and an overwhelming combination of everything smothered in unconditional sadness. "I said you weren't allowed to jump in front of me again..."
She was fading, even now. Her dry, bloody lips opened as she tried to speak. I wanted to tell her no, to save her strength and her breath, so that she could save with me. "And I told you I can't live without you, either." They cracked into a soft smile. She struggled to get the words out through her trembling voice. "Besides, I wouldn't want to die anywhere else but here. In your arms." Her eyes drifted shut and she let out a shaky sigh. She looked so serene and placid that my chest ached.
"Please..." My voice was strained and weak. "Please... Oh god, please..." Her breaths were growing less frequent, less deep. "No... Don't leave me. Sakura. Sakura! You can't! Oh god, please!" I wanted so desperately to believe that everything was going to be fine, that it was going to be okay, but I knew better. The air reeked of the solemnity of death. I could feel its presence lingering, give me the few precious moments left with her that would never be enough. "Please..."
"I... love..."
How cruel.
She was gone before she could even finish speaking.
--
I lay at her side and she was still. Even though bruised and battered, dripping with thick crimson liquid, she had still never looked so beautiful. Her lips were curled upwards in a last melancholy smile, and it put me at ease. Even lying a pool of our blood that ran together and mixed, I was completely calm.
Killing Uchiha Madara had brought me no satisfaction. Not when the horrible thought that she no longer breathed and her heart no longer beat — haunted me. Wherever Naruto might have been, he was surely fairing better than we were. I could still hear his loud, victorious cries from where I lay. I tried to imagine what it would be like for him when he was finished and came to find us in the state we would be in.
Lying dead next to each other.
It took an enormous amount of what little strength I had remaining to reach up and claim her hand. I held it in my own, and miserable pain erupted inside of me when I felt that it was cold.
"Sasuke! Sakura-chan! You almost done in there? I'm almost finished! I'm coming." His calls were even more distant than normal, drifting below inaudibility.
I could remember that night so many ago where we had lied in a similar position and she had uttered the words to me that had changed my life forever. I would now repeat them back to her, even though she might not have been able to hear me. Just to remind myself. Just so that I was not afraid any longer. Just so that I could go with that last thought on my mind. It was difficult. I was choking on the blood and the sobs.
"I promise you..." I said.
I'll go now, so we can be together.
My heart cannot beat if it is not for her.
"Forever."
I closed my eyes and gave in to inevitability.
N a r u t o
"Hokage-samma?"
"...Hokage-samma?"
"Naruto!"
The name would take some time getting used to.
My eyes snapped upwards and Tsunade was standing in the doorway, the same as she had been for the past few weeks since my empty-handed return. Red eyed. She made no attempt to hide that she had been crying, and instead pretended as if there were nothing the matter, strutting around and yelling orders at everyone indiscriminately. "It's time, now."
I had always imagined that we would be together always. I guess that the first indication that this was impossible was when he ran off and deserted us, leaving both her and I heartbroken. But I hoped. And I prayed. And you know, maybe I thought that this time the outcome would be different. But no matter how hard I tried, and how much I cried, I just couldn't bring myself to be sad.
How could I? I had seen it with my own two eyes.
The funeral went by slowly and quietly, save for the sounds of gentle crying and sniffles. The village had come to pay their condolences and recognize my two teammates as the heroes that they were that had given their lives to rid the world of the monstrosity that was 'Akatsuki' once and for all. Even Sasuke, who had deserted and betrayed the village, was spoken of with nothing but the utmost respect.
There were a few people who spoke on their behalf, and I would be the last one. As the Hokage and their teammate, I had the most obligation to speak. Ino could hardly said anything comprehensible through her sobbing, and Kakashi mumbled a few words of sincere apology and expressed his appreciation towards the both of them.
The caskets were so beautiful and so heavily covered with arrangements of flowers that it was difficult to imagine that there were corpses inside. Death truly was a beautiful thing.
When it came at last my turn to speak, there was silence.
"I like to think..." I started. "That they're still holding hands somewhere, with that same expression on their faces. They looked so goddamn happy."
..::I Promise You Forever
We sit. I will be content to stare
out into the nothingness forever Some
people may think that our lives were a tragic one He rose
and extends a hand towards me I look but I see nothing but
white. "Are
you ready, then?" He asks. The gates open.
Him and
I
Together forever
At last.
If only I can remain by his
side
As I am
Here and now
I feel no remorse.
But if only they
knew what I feel like now they would learn to consider otherwise
I
can't ask for anything more
Than to be given the opportunity
To
look into his face
Whenever I feel the desire to
His expression unreadable but
somehow, very pleasant.
I take it.
"Have you said goodbye
yet?" He asks.
"Said goodbye to what?" I ask.
"Them."
He says, and he points downwards.
Until I look closer.
And I can see Hinata holding her
fist child.
And Ino walking down the isle.
And Naruto wearing
a cone-shaped Hokage hat.
I whisper my farewell.
"Ready for what?" I ask.
"For
this." He says.
And we leave to join
those who had gone before us.
To live together in peace
Forever