Title: Draco and Ginny's Rant
Author: Tiny Q
E-Mail: one_legged_lesbian_seagull@hotmail.com
A/N: Ha Ha Ha! Yes I am at it again. Writing more lovely D/G fics. Though this isn't exactly a fic, more like a script type thing. Imagine if all the HP characters had to act out every single one of their fics? It would be totally twisted. This is my take on what might happen behind the scenes of a D/G fic. Ahyhoo, all fan fiction authors: Please do not take offense to anything contained in this fic. It is directed at my own frustrating lack of originality and I just had to get it out.
Now please enjoy:
Draco and Ginny's Rant
It was a beautiful day outside at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy. Ginny Weasley was taking full advantage of it by revising yet another chapter in her book called: Ginny Weasley's Guide to Stalking Harry Potter. Draco Malfoy was also taking advantage of the nice weather, but for an entirely different rea-
Tiny Q: Ooh! The phone! I'll be right back!
~walks off~
Ginny: Is she gone?
Draco: Yeah, I think she is.
~walks over to where Ginny is sitting and sits down~
Ginny: Good. I don't think I am up to acting out another fic right now. And this one sounds like a winner. 'A beautiful day outside at Hogwarts...' Bah! How corny!
Draco: What catches my attention is: 'Ginny Weasley's Guide to Stalking Harry Potter'
Ginny: Well I have to make some extra pocket money some how, don't I?
Draco: Well I guess, you being a Weasley and all.
Ginny: Do you always have to bring that up?! I mean after all we have been through?
Draco: You mean, what they ~points at fan fiction writers~ have put us through.
Ginny: ~looks at authors~ Yeah, I guess you are right. I mean how many times have I run around a corner and smacked into you?
Draco: And how many times have I not had to tutor you?
Ginny: Hey! There have been a few when I tutor you.
Draco: Yeah, but at what price?
Ginny: ~appears to be in deep thought~ Good point. ~thinks some more~ And you are almost always an evil little minion for your father.
Draco: Yeah, and you always manage to find the good in me and pull me out.
Ginny: Either that or you have already found it and have become an Auror or Ministry official to do good.
Draco: Or there's the classic: 'I am going to use the youngest Weasley to get at Potter and his Dream Team'.
Ginny: Or I turn the tables and use you to get Harry to notice me. Or to rebel against my family.
Draco: Oh yes, rebellions are so sweet. How many times have I rebelled against my 'evil' father?
Ginny: Well Draco, he is a Death Eater after all?
Draco: Yeah? Well he is still my father.
Ginny: Yeah yeah. I've heard it a thousand times: 'You can't choose your family'.
Draco: That brings up another thing: Arranged marriages.
Ginny: Oooh! There have been a few of those, haven't there? Arranged Marriages, Marriages of convenience, blackmail, possession, obsession and the list goes on and on.
Draco: Well it's not that bad. I mean you aren't hard on the eyes.
Ginny: Why thank you. You're not too bad yourself.
Draco: I know.
Ginny: ~narrows eyes~ Well there have been a few when you are described not too flatteringly.
Draco: There are more than a few for you.
Ginny: Whatever. I know I am beautiful and that is all that matters.
Draco: ~snorts~ Just keep telling yourself that Weasley, maybe you'll eventually convince others.
Ginny: Shut up!
Draco: Don't feel like it. ~pause~ I find the ones with edge of your seat excitement quite amusing. Especially when we are in precariously dangerous situations and we still have time to have a snogging session.
Ginny: ~looks at Draco darkly~ You would too, wouldn't you.
Draco: Don't tell me you don't enjoy them.
Ginny: ~blushes furiously~ I also find it quite amusing when you are all lovey dovey for no apparent reason. Straight out of the blue.
Draco: A lot can happen out of the Blue. How about the ones with Truth or Dare. They are always fun.
Ginny: Or letters. Writing letters. I like those. Lots of chances for animosity there.
Draco: And anonymity. Speaking of which, the Yule Balls. Amazing how many of those there are.
Ginny: Or the ones when one of us dies and the other is left to grieve. Those ones take the most out of me.
Draco: Me too.
Ginny: Fluff is good. I like fluff. The fluffier the better.
Draco: Sometimes it's good, but some good old angst is nice every now and then.
Ginny: Well that's just because you're in Slytherin.
Draco: And the way you talk you should be in Hufflepuff.
Ginny: I take offence to that!
Draco: Good.
Ginny: I no longer want to speak to you.
~the 2 of them sit there for an hour, silently glaring at one another~
Draco: How long can that stupid girl talk on the phone for?
Ginny: Who knows? But I hope she comes back soon. I mean, I bet there are a ton of way better authors waiting for us to star in their fics.
Draco: True. True.
~another hour later~
Ginny: Ok. This is ridiculous! I swear, she is not talking! Just sitting there!
Draco: I know! And I am almost certain I have heard a quail in there more than once.
Ginny: Me too.
~they look at each other in confusion~
~ten minutes later~
Tiny Q: Ok, I'm back.
~reads the first paragraph~
Tiny Q: Wow. What a piece of crap.
~skims down what Ginny and Draco have said~
Tiny Q: Well. I see you two have been busy. Better run along. My muse has left and I have a feeling Gin Chan is itching to write the rest of her sequel to my 'Never Again'.
~promptly shuts down program and begins to surf the web in search of her missing muse~
Draco: Well that was easy enough.
Ginny: I'll say.
Draco: How about some ice-cream?
Ginny: Love some.
~the two of them leave the grounds, hand in hand~
The End?!
~*~
A/N: Sad, wasn't it??? So yes, this is what happens when you have had too much sun. Stupid sun burns. Anyways, now review and tell me how bad it was. GO!