Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

Author's Comments: I just had to write this. I hope that I didn't lose all my readers at the end of the last book. I would like to point out that Raven is my favourite character, and I would not have done what I did lightly. For those of you curious to see why I did such a terrible thing, here is the sequel to Personal Demons (ID 6023719). Foreshadowing of things to come in this chapter. Also, lemon alert. Tried to keep it tasteful, but lemon nonetheless. Starfire's renovated costume is based more heavily on her costume in the comic. Also, I would like to dedicate this whole story to one of my favourite, and most dedicated reviewers, tennisgal456. Hope you like it! Gave Raven my birthday. Author's prerogative.

Chapter 1 – Proposal

Changeling woke up slowly. He breathed in and smiled. He knew what he would find when he opened his eyes, and sure enough he was greeted by her bare shoulder. Changeling scooted closer, and pressed his lips fervently to her grey skin. She murmured something, and Changeling ran his fingers through her soft purple hair. She stirred slightly, and Changeling ran his lips up her neck.

"Morning," he murmured in her ear. She grunted, and swatted at him half-heartedly. Changeling chuckled. "You're always much more agreeable in the mornings." He pressed on her shoulder, rolling her over. Her eyes were closed, and her brows furrowed. Changeling smiled and ran his lips down over her collar-bone, and down over the soft curves of her chest. She gasped slightly as his lips travelled over the sensitive skin there. Changeling smiled and continued to run his lips down her body. She gasped again as he ran his lips over the core of her being.

Keeping his lips there, Changeling ran his hands back up her body, and cupped her soft curves. He massaged the sensitive skin with his thumbs. She moaned softly. He smiled, and ran one hand down, slipping a finger into her core. She whimpered. Changeling travelled back up and kissed the gemstone on her forehead. Her eyes were still closed, but she was biting her lip. He pressed his lips hungrily to hers and she returned the kiss. Underneath him, she moved her legs, and he delved deep into her core, gripping her tightly. Her dark eyes finally opened as they moved together.

"This is always easier when you're half asleep," Changeling said with affection. She scowled up at him then cried out with pleasure. Changeling closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of being part of her. The tension built until they shuddered with pleasure together. Exhausted, Changeling collapsed on top of her, brushing her hair away from her face. "Raven." He whispered her name. "There's something important I want to ask you."

"What?" her gravelly voice still contained hints of sleepiness. Changeling gazed down at her.

"Raven," he said her name, all his love for her evident in his husky voice. Before he could ask her what he wanted, the bedroom door was thrown open. In the doorway stood the Grim Reaper. Changeling could feel Raven being pulled away from him. He latched his arms around her body. "No!" He cried

"Sorry dear boy," the voice was soft, and malicious. Raven was dragged out of Changeling's embrace. He grabbed her hand, and held on with all his might. "You've had your fun." The voice was familiar. Changeling gritted his teeth, and tried to pull Raven back towards him. Her fingers slipped, and she was dragged towards the Grim Reaper who grabbed her by the neck. The Grim Reaper reached up and pulled down his hood. The half black half orange mask stared at Changeling with its one eye. "She's mine now!"

- Scene Break -

"Raven!" Changeling sat up in bed panting. His body was covered in sweat. He shut his eyes, trying to block out the pain that was beginning to descend. He lay back down and took in a ragged breath. Her scent still lingered, even half a year later. Half a year. To Changeling it felt like an eternity since The Tragedy as the Titans were calling it now. Half a year since Raven had left him. Half a year since he had realized he loved her. Half a year since he had held her in his arms. Half a year since she died.

Changeling twisted the sheets in his hands, and pulled them to his chest. He could smell her here. While it caused him pain, it was a way of reminding himself that she had existed. To keep her memory fresh in his mind.

"Gar?" Cyborg's voice emanated through the door. "You in here?" Changeling wrapped himself in the sheets, losing himself in her scent. He heard the door open, and felt hands shake him. "Come on man. I know you're in there." Changeling willed his friend to leave, to just leave him alone with Raven's memory. The sheets were torn away from him.

"Hey!" Changeling glared up at Cyborg now. "Give those back!"

"You've got to get up man," Cyborg looked down at him sadly. "It's not healthy for you to be in here anyway." Changeling grabbed the sheets from the cybernetic Titan.

"This is all I have left of her!" Changeling bellowed. "You can't take it from me!" Cyborg sighed and sat down.

"Look man," he looked at the distraught shape-shifter. "I know Raven's death hurt you." Changeling winced at the words 'Raven's death.' "But you can't stay in here."

"Why not?" Changeling challenged. "If I don't Richard will just get rid of this room. I can't let that happen Vic."

"She's gone Gar," Cyborg said softly.

"Don't you think I know that?" Changeling bellowed. "I loved her Vic! You know when I finally figured that out?" Cyborg shook his head. "When she was dying in my arms, and there was nothing I could do to save her!" Cyborg laid a massive hand on Changeling's shoulders.

"Sorry man," was all he could say.

- Scene Break -

Starfire made her way down the hallway. Although The Tragedy hadn't shaken the alien princess as badly as Changeling, it had changed her a little. The day after the funeral, Starfire had disappeared into her room for hours. When she had finally emerged, her costume was different. Instead of the purple top that exposed her abdomen, two strips of cloth just barely covered the curves of her chest, and plunged down her torso. Instead of a mini-skirt was a bottom that resembled the bottom of a leotard. Where the strips of fabric, and this bottom met, was a mauve belt buckle.

"What are you wearing?" Changeling had asked her the first time he saw it.

"You are not the only one who has been changed by this tragedy," had been her reply. "I also felt the need to grow up." Her voice was slightly less sweet, and Changeling had noticed that she was speaking proper English, while still more formal than the rest of the Titans, instead of the slightly broken English she had used for years.

Starfire stopped now as she reached Raven's door. She placed her hand on the door, and sighed. She missed her friend terribly. There were so many things that she wished she could talk to Raven about. She talked to Sarasim, but it wasn't the same. However close she might be to the new Titan, she would always be closer to Raven. Because of the time where they had switched bodies, Starfire almost felt like a small part of herself had died with her friend.

"I miss her too," Starfire turned to see Nightwing standing in the hallway. She flew into his arms, and clutched him tightly. Tears streaming down her face. In the past six months, Nightwing had sprouted up in height so that he was now as tall as his alien lover. They had first slept together the night of the funeral. Falling together in their grief. Tears had turned to kisses in the dark. Now they both stayed in Nightwing's room.

Nightwing tipped Starfire's face up, brushing her tears away with his other hand, "We all miss her."

"It is strange not having her here," Starfire shook her head. "I keep expecting to see her come out of her room, but I know she won't."

"It's different from when she became the portal," Nightwing smiled ruefully. "We all knew in our hearts that she wasn't gone. This time I know she's not coming back." He paused. "And that's made me realize something." Raven's door opened, although the two Titans were unaware of it, and Changeling stepped out into the hallway. "Star I need to ask you something." Changeling blinked, this was almost verbatim what had happened in his dream. Except the players were wrong.

"You can ask me anything Richard," Starfire smiled at him.

"In that case," Nightwing got down on one knee, and pulled out a little green box from his belt. "Starfire of Tamaran..." He opened the box to reveal a diamond ring with small emeralds on either side. "Will you marry me?" Changeling could feel his blood starting to boil.

"Oh Richard!" Starfire gasped with glee. "Yes!" Nightwing slipped the ring on her left ring finger. "Oh! There is so much to plan! We need to set a date!"

"You will do no such thing!" the two Titans turned at the growling voice of Changeling.

"Garfield?" Starfire blinked. "You are unhappy?"

"I'm furious!" Changeling bellowed. Nightwing stepped between the seething shape-shifter, and the startled alien.

"What's going on here Garfield?" he frowned down at Changeling.

"I think you know what's going on here," the latter snorted.

"You've never once expressed an interest before now," Nightwing shifted his body subtly into a protective stance.

"Please," Changeling snorted. "Star's beautiful, but not my type."

"Then what?" Nightwing demanded.

"Do you know what today is?" Changeling bellowed, furious tears in his eyes. Nightwing didn't seem to understand the question.

"Oh," Starfire breathed. "It has been six months since The Tragedy."

"That's right," Changeling glared up at the Titan's leader. "It's only been half a year."

"Raven's death made me realize how fragile life is," Nightwing replied. "Made me realize that we can't take anything for granted. Made me realize who I want to spend the rest of my life with." Here he smiled at Starfire.

"You're a real jerk," Changeling spat out, and stalked off. Starfire stared off after him. Nightwing shook his head.

"This isn't exactly how I had imagined my proposal to go," he muttered.

"Well my answer is still yes," Starfire smiled at him. Nightwing looked relieved to hear this. "I can hardly wait to tell Victor and Sarasim!"

- Scene Break -

"Congratulations!" Cyborg pumped Starfire's hand gleefully. Then he turned to Nightwing. "It's about time you popped the question."

"Your turn next," Nightwing grinned wickedly at the robotic Titan. Cyborg's cheeks flushed a deep red.

"Have you set a date yet?" Sarasim asked. She was either unaware of Cyborg's discomfort, or ignoring it.

"I was thinking March," Starfire replied softly. "21st."

"Just rub it in why don't you!" everyone turned to see Changeling bristling in the hall. When no one said anything Changeling let out a vicious snarl. "Don't you know what that day is?"

"Yes," Starfire replied softly. "Raven's birthday."

"That is not a day to celebrate!" Changeling roared, his fists clenched. "Why don't you get it through your thick skulls?" Then he stormed off. Nightwing frowned, and went to pursue the furious shape-shifter. Starfire set a hand on her fiancee's shoulder.

"I will talk to him," she assured him.

- Scene Break -

Changeling sat on Raven's bed with his back to the door. He was drawing in ragged breaths. His body was trembling, and he was barely holding in the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. Violet was curled up on his lap, and he absentmindedly scratched her head. He closed his eyes, breathing in Raven's scent. It was soothing. Even though it tore at his heart, it was still soothing. He could hear her voice inside his head.

'Promise me something.'

"Anything," he whispered into the darkness. She was all around him.

'Don't do anything stupid.'

"I won't," Changeling's voice cracked. He felt like he was falling apart. Like he would burst at the seams with agony.

'Live. For me.'

At the time it had been easy to make that promise to her. Now Changeling wished that he hadn't. More than anything he wished that he could just crawl into her glass casket and be by her side forever. For the never-ending pain to disappear. For the chaos to cease. He reflected bitterly that this must've been how Raven had felt every day. He felt he understood her better now in death than when she was alive.

"Garfield?" Starfire's voice was accompanied by a knock on the door. "Garfield are you in there?" Changeling didn't say a word. He willed the alien to leave him in peace. "I need to talk to you." Changeling got up and moved like a zombie to the door. He opened it and stared glumly up at her. It startled Starfire to see her once cheerful friend look so much like her dark deceased friend.

"What?" Changeling's voice was hollow.

"Can I come in?" Starfire asked. Changeling shrugged and moved away from the door. Starfire followed him inside. He sat down on Raven's bed and looked up at her, his eyes dead.

"What?" he asked again.

"What has happened to you?" Starfire blurted out. Changeling just snorted. "You don't say 'dude' anymore. You haven't played Mega Monkeys in months. You don't laugh. You don't even smile!"

"Well aren't you observant," Changeling rolled his eyes.

"What is wrong with you?" Starfire asked. Changeling glared at her, the rage burning in his eyes.

"What is wrong with me?" he snarled. "Doesn't anyone get it?" Starfire blinked. "Raven's dead! Why doesn't anyone seem to understand this?"

"Raven's death was hard for all of us Garfield," Starfire pointed out.

"You have no idea what Raven's death did to me Star," Changeling replied.

"This is what I'm trying to understand," Starfire sighed. "We are your friends Garfield. We are concerned about you."

"You really don't know?" Changeling looked at her incredulously. Starfire shook her head. Changeling sighed, and sat down. "I loved her Star." His voice was so quiet that the alien barely heard what he has said.

"What?" she gasped. Changeling looked up at her and the pain in his eyes broke her heart.

"I loved Raven," he smiled ruefully. "I loved her all along. I never knew. Not until she was dying in my arms." Starfire swooped over and wrapped him into one of her bone-crushing hugs.

"I am so sorry Garfield!" she exclaimed softly. "I didn't know!"

"I am happy for you," Changeling said at length. "About your upcoming wedding I mean."

"I chose Raven's birthday because I want to honour her," Starfire explained. "I would've wanted her to be my maid of honour. This way she can still be a part of the wedding. If only in our hearts and minds."

"Thanks Star," a small smile ghosted across Changeling's lips.

"I should go," Starfire stood. "Can I tell Richard what you told me, or do you want to?"

"I think it's a better idea if you tell him," Changeling grimaced. "I imagine he's a bit ticked off at me."

"That would be putting it mildly," Starfire chuckled. Another hint of a smile passed over Changeling's lips, and for a brief moment he looked like Beast Boy again. Starfire turned to leave. Looking over her shoulder, she could see the pain in his eyes. His shoulders hunched. She left him to his thoughts, but couldn't help wondering if she should've told him that Raven had loved him too. She weighed this in her mind and decided that if she told him, it would only make him feel worse for not telling Raven how he felt.