Hello!
This is a series of one-shots based one one character and one Sleeping With Sirens song!
So this is my first stricly Jenna story. I've veen listening to this song and I feel it fits Jenna perfectly, because of everything that happened her sophomore year.
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or Sleeping With Siren. Just a huge fan!
Song: Let's Cheers To This
Artist: Sleeping With Sirens
Enjoy!
I've got the whole world in front of me
I'm not letting go till I say
"Done," I thought, packing the last of my things into a cardboard box. I wiped my hands off on my pants, even though I really didn't need it. Just a symbol of starting new.
I looked around the small apartment. I'm going to miss this place. It's hosted so many memories for me. Plopping down on the couch, I took one last look around. Right there was Tyson's crib, and there on the coffee table used to be covered in baby rags and toys.
Tyson. Just the thought of that little face had me near in tears. Not a day goes by without thinking about my baby. Yes, my baby. No matter where he is, I will be his mother and nothing can change that. Even though he isn't here with me, I know I made the right choice. That old saying 'If you love something, set it free' made everything seem better about this situation. I knew I couldn't raise him properly, so I let someone who could do it. I did it for him, for Tyson, because I love him.
My hand brushed against something soft on the couch. Pulling it from between the cushions, I found a spit-up rag with a stuffed elephant head attached. KC bought this for him. I smiled, remembering his underlying love for elephants. This is devastating to him. I know he's hurting. We all are: me, him, his mother. It's hard on all of us. But in the end, I know we did the right thing.
These are lives we're dealing with. We can't be careless.
This is my life
I've got it all right in front of me
I won't let it go
There's no way
This is our time
Don't slip away
Don't slip away
Sighing, I picked up the box from the coffee table. One last look. After I leave, KC and I will be over and I'll never be back. All of the feelings I have for this place are overwhelming. It's just an apartment. I know that. But it was our home, the place where we were going to raise Tyson and be a happy family. But all good things come to an end I guess.
KC's mother hugs me goodbye. I can see the tears she's holding back. She's going to miss this, too. Like KC, she was a big part of this, too. I feel so bad about doing this to her, but now her and KC can move on with their lives and finally reconnect. Tyson came in a bad time for the family and now they won't have to worry about anything else.
I looked over at KC, standing so still and unemotional. We faced each other, no one saying anything. I can see the pain in his eyes and it kills me inside. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out the elephant rag. I opened his hand and place it inside. Staring him straight in the eye, which was hard to do considering we were both on the verge of tears, I whispered, "This is my life."
I'm losing control
My head is alright
I can't shake the thought
Of me losing my mind
Been away for three days
Won't sleep till I've done
All it is I'm living for
Now I will show you
All that I'm made of
I adjusted the pillow of my makeshift bed in Alli's room. Once I left KC's a week prior, I've been spending my nights on Alli's floor. Don't get me wrong. I'm so grateful that they took me in.
Alli fell asleep a while ago. Since leaving the apartment, I've had a hard time falling asleep. My mind is running a million miles a minute. It's no wonder I can't sleep.
I reached under my pillow. My hands hit something cold and hard, but at the same time, warm and comforting. The picture frame slipped into my hand and in front of my face. Little Tyson was staring me in the eyes. This little face is the thing keeping me up. I don't know what's wrong. Is this just me worrying about him or do I regret what I did?
No. No, I can't regret it. I did this for us. He'll be able to have a normal life and so will I. I just won't think about him. I slid the frame back under the pillow and closed my eyes.
Sleep. Sleep, Jenna. Sleep!
This is my life
I've got the whole world in front of me
I'm not letting go till I say
This is my life
Don't slip away
Don't slip away
I made up my mind
This time I know, know
It all comes down to this
This is our time
This is our time
Don't slip away
Don't slip away
I took the box, my hands shaking. I'm tired of being controlled by these contents. They're just making me worry. They just cause me stress. They just remind me of what could have been.
I stepped on the lever of the trash bin, opening the lid. Inhaling and exhaling, I slowly lifted the lid of the box. Rags, rattles, bottles, everything was inside. I remember each specific use for each of them. The blue rag was his food rag. The monkey rattle was for when he was fussy. He loved when one of us would shake it.
I'm done. All of these things are mementos of the past. I need to be a new person, a new life.
All of it. Everything. It all fell into the trash. I tipped the box over and dumped everything. And as much as it's sad to watch such an important part of my life disappear, it feels freeing. I notice pic on the top of the pile. Tyson's hospital picture. I reached for it, looking at it for a minute before slipping it into my pocket.
Well, I can't just leave everything behind.
This is my life
I've got the whole world in front of me
I'm not letting go till I say
This is my life
Don't slip away
Don't slip away
The next one will most likely be Clare.
If you have any suggestions, tell me! I have six more I plan on doing, so I may have that song choosen already. Here's a list of songs I have picked and the character:
"A Trophy Father's Trophy Son"
"Who Are You Know?"
"Four Corners and Two Sides"
"Tally It Up, Settle The Score"
"All My Heart"
"Do It Now, Remember It Later"
And the characters, in a random order. What fun would it be to know which character will be in each song?
Maya
Eli
Imogen
Clare
Adam
Fiona
Until next time, Thanks For Reading!