You know that expression 'I feel like I've been hit by a train?' I think I finally understand first-hand what that means. God my head is killing me and I'm sore all over. Argh and I can't help groaning when the sun decides to greet me with its…sunny disposition.
"…What…the hell." The first words out of my mouth and they feel like saw dust, what even happened last night? Come on Reiza, you're better than this, what the hell happened. I try to collect myself but all I can muster is another groan as my head sears with pain when I try to remember. Waking up was a bad idea.
"Uhhh…my head. What…how much…did I drink?" Not my voice, probably Gedd's. Drink? That's right; we were a bit stupid last night and got drunk. I reach for more memories but my brain laughs at me. Something Zamura once told me pops up instead.
'Half the fun of drinking is not knowing where you are gonna wake up in the morning.'
Damn Halflings.
"Urrgh five more minutes..." I don't want to deal with any of this right now so I grab a hold of my pillow and bury my head into it in hopes it might stop the spinning. "Feel like…I was hit by a train," apparently I need to express this sentiment out loud.
"Wha-what even happened?" Gedd again, "I remember drinks and rainbows." At least I'm not the only one hung over. That's when I start to realize something's off. He sounds…closer than normal and my pillow isn't as soft as usual-in fact it's warm.
"Rain…bows…wait…" Suddenly I am accurately aware of the weight on my body and the arms wrapped around my back. In fact my limbs seem to be draped around the source of the warmth. Gedd…
GEDD?!
My eyes fly open. Oh my god it is Gedd!
"GEDD, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I try to move, but he has me pinned to the floor with his weight. My screaming seems to do the trick though; Gedd starts out of his drunken haze, a terrified expression on his face.
"I DON'T KNOW," he sputters frantically as he stands up and backs away from me in a panic. "Gods sorry, I didn't mean anything by it!"
Adrenaline of the unknown allows me to scramble off the floor and latch myself to the wall. God damn it I'm blushing. Only he can do that, get yourself together girl! What did he say, didn't mean anything by it?
"DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY WHAT?"
"I DON'T KNOW, I JUST WOKE UP!"
"Argggh stop yelling!" Note to self Reiza, screaming matches are not conducive to helping a headache. Relax, you just woke up next to Gedd…on the floor in his arms….not remembering anything that happened last- I swear this sound like the set up in one of Aditia's books. I quickly check myself over, I'm still fully clothed….though a bit dishevelled.
"Reiza, I swear I didn't do anything. I would never do anything that stupid."
He was right of course. Gedd wouldn't do anything that stupid, I on the other hand…
"I…I know… what the hell happened then?!" I couldn't keep calm for some reason, I'm sure my face is bright red. Gedd however seems to take this question with immense thought.
"I'm not sure… we drank… Vance didn't…. Vance tried to kidnap you…" He pauses for a moment, "and that's all I can remember."
"Kidnap… me?" Maybe I really don't need to remember last night after all...
"He was dragging you to his room…"
"Just how much DID we drink?" Not that knowing that will help me with anything.
"A lot... I remember I had 8-9 tankards in front of me…"
"Then how did I get here..." Wait a minute, that's not the only thing off. He didn't squish me, in fact I can almost see eye to eye with him… I let out a huge sigh. "And human." Just perfect. You know Fates, you can be so terribly cruel sometimes.
"I…I have no idea."
Thanks Gedd, you are a well of information. If he hadn't- no, it's not his fault, stop blaming him Reiza. Besides where was Vance in all this? According to Gedd, the cleric hadn't really drunk anything. In fact I have a sneaking suspicion that he had something to do with this, especially after his own hung-over escapades yesterday. Vance I said you could get your revenge on Gedd, not that you could rope me into it.
"God damn it Vance what did you do?"
"We should go ask him."
"…umm" It's so awkward; we're avoiding eye contact like we're silly teenagers, shuffling our feet, unsure what to say. If this WAS an Aditia book, none of this would happen. In fact, I'm pretty sure this is the point where- no bad Reiza, get your head out of the gutter, this is Gedd we are talking about-
"Sorry…again…that was improper of me. Sorry."
I stop. Something about this strikes me as incredibly funny and suddenly I start laughing. I can't even control myself. Here I am thinking about- and Gedd goes right for the gentlemen's response, not unlike him at all. He's standing there, all apologetic, rubbing the back of his head worried and for what? Nothing! Like every time I freak out about stupid things. I think Gedd thinks I've gone crazy because he just stares at me awkwardly. I can't help but smile at that, its kinda cute.
"Sorry," I wipe a tear from my eye as the laughter dies down. "It's just….so bloody typical for us."
"It's fine." He's still embarrassed, I can tell. I probably would be too if the whole thing wasn't so hilarious. "Why does this kinda thing keep happening to us?"
Good question and I can come up with a few answers but I keep them mostly to myself. Instead I just quietly mutter under my breath, "Because Aphrodite likes to play cruel tricks on me. "
"What's even happening?" Gedd sits down on the bed, resting his hands on his knees with a deep sigh. I recognize the tone immediately, the one he gets when his head starts swimming with doubts. I swallow and sit beside him.
"Do you mean now or just in general? Because both are pretty messed up." I try to smile for him but it feels shallow.
"Just in general, things just get even more complicated by the day." That's an understatement if I ever heard one.
"Complicated seems to follow you around." A brief spell of dizziness falls over me and I rub the sides of my temple to orient myself. Thanos wasn't kidding when he said the drink does funny things to your head. "Remind me to never drink that much again."
"Only if you remind me never to drink like that again." I could tell he was going through the same pains, his forehead cradled in his right hand. He sighs deeply. "Complications have been following me around since the shadow."
I was half tempted to go get Vance, surely he had something that would work on a hangover but then I thought about seeing his smug face. No, I won't give him the satisfaction. What did Vance teach me about headaches; there was an herb really good at numbing the pain. I grab my bag from the floor and start rifling through it. At the bottom the crushed herbs sat and I scoop them out along my canteen, Vance would scold me if he saw how I kept them. I quickly down the herb with water and offer them to Gedd which he gladly accepts. The pain and spinning dull thankfully and Gedd simply nods in gratitude.
"…how long has the shadow been following you?"
"Twelve years….half my life, most of that was me running away from it…" He's always so upfront about his past. I don't get it. Back in the Nighthawks that could get you killed, exposing your weaknesses and fears.
"That's a long time…" It felt like a dumb thing to say. Of course it was a long time! Gedd takes it in stride though,
"Yeah, running for as long as I have, it's…exhausting." Suddenly Gedd looks a lot older then he really is his shoulders slump and his expression weary. An expression I'm all too familiar with myself.
"Trust me, I get it. Better than you think"
"Yeah…I kinda guessed you moved around a lot with Thanos and Polio." It's so weird to hear someone else say his name; I even try to avoid mentioning it out loud. It's a testament to how much I've told Gedd. Too much? He looks at me with those understanding eyes. "It's good to know someone else knows how it feels."
"It's not just that…but I'm not sure I should tell you…"
"You don't have too if you don't want to." It's kinda infuriating sometimes how understanding and selfless he is. If I didn't know any better I'd say he does it on purpose but Gedd doesn't scheme, he's just Gedd.
"It's just that…I know if I do you'll want to help and I don't want to see you get hurt." Because he will, he always does when someone is in trouble.
"I understand Reiza, I would never want to put you in danger," I know, I know that Gedd, "but you…do know I can look after myself." Sometimes I wonder… but he didn't know who he'd be dealing with, the things they would do.
"I know you can, but they play dirty-"
"And I cheat." What…I shake my head. He always knows how to throw me off balance. I can't help but chuckle at that as the smallest of smirks cross his lips. It makes me want to tell him everything.
"…my old guild is after me."
"What for?"
What for? Oh let me count the ways Gedd, let me count the ways. But I suppress the snarky response. He deserves better than that.
"They think I sold out the Guild and all its members, for the record I didn't." Which is true. One of these days I would have to set them straight.
"I would never think you could do something like that," then you don't know me that well… but I don't say that out loud. I simply fold my fingers on my lap quietly. "So you were framed?"
I ponder about this for a moment, hadn't really given it much thought before.
"…I guess? I don't know. The guild was already falling apart after…well anyway some of my contacts passed along that they were looking for me. Grudge holding sort." The bastards. Gedd gives me a cautious look, is he ever going to look me in the eye again?
"Well…that sounds…messy, I'm sorry to hear you're in this situation." There he goes apologising again when it's not his fault. It's never his fault.
"Pfft…kinda standard fare for me at this point..." It really was, no matter where I go someone is out to get me or swindle me or getting ready to betray me….except. I look at Gedd and the cynic inside me quiets. "…well until now I suppose." I let all my weight fall backwards onto the bed.
"What do you mean?" Crap did I say that out loud? I'm usually better at censoring myself. I blink a few times to recover.
"Umm well…" What do I say? His hearing isn't usually this good.
Then I think about it. Is it really all that big of a secret? I close my eyes and grin reluctantly.
"It's a nice change…being able to trust someone." He looks at me questionably for a moment and offers a weak smile
"I'm glad you've got people you can trust." People? No, he doesn't get it. Do I always have to spell it out for you Gedd? I'm not sure why this bothers me so much, but he needs to understand this.
"Not people Gedd…no offense to the others, you." Don't get me wrong, the others are important to me but somehow this mage was the only one that weaseled his way past my walls. At first, it just seemed like pay back for all the information he's told me about himself free of charge, but I think eventually…it was kinda nice to share the smallest part of my burdens with someone else. Even if all that meant was telling him a little about Thanos or that there are things that scare even me (not that there are many I'll have you know).
"Oh…" I think I see a small spark, something resembling understanding, dawn in his eyes. "Sorry I misunderstood. You really trust me? Even knowing I anger gods and have a demon shadow following me everywhere." Well when you put it that way Gedd…
"Probably more so because of it…you're honest, there aren't many people left like that." This takes him off guard, he really needs to work more on his tells. It's a wonder I barely beat him at poker back in-
"Th-thanks Reiza. I trust you with my life…"
Wait what?
I feel my face grow hot despite my best attempts to stop it, stupid emotions.
"You probably shouldn't…"
He shies away from me with a small smile, one I've only ever seen him use around me.
"I know….but that's not really going to stop me." If you know then-
You think far too highly of me Gedd. I sit up so I'm face to face with my wizard friend.
"…you shouldn't have as much faith in me as you do. You'll probably regret it one day."
"Why shouldn't I have faith in you…?"
A war breaks out between my head and my heart. Sure logically getting close to Gedd is a stupid idea, I have way too many people out for my blood and have let down too many people trying to save my own skin. I have to look out for myself because no one else will.
Except…
Something stirs deep in my chest; it's so foreign to me that I can barely hear what Gedd's saying anymore. I try to focus, watching his lips move intently but that just makes things twist and turn more. Suddenly my brain is running into overload, drudging up midnight conversations, all the times he's made me laugh or put me at ease. Fighting alongside him, almost losing him.
But that's stupid; he isn't 'mine' to lose.
"…doubt I'll regret having faith in you. Are you ok?
…
Screw logic.
"You talk too much Gedd."
The next thing I know, I'm grabbing Gedd by his cloak in the most cliché manner possible, and kissing him hard on the mouth. My heart swells in approval while my mind quiets, consequences be damned! This feels right. Gedd's stunned of course and I'm about to stop when he suddenly kisses me back.
I'm pretty sure if it could have, my heart would have leapt right out my chest then. It makes me wonder why I was so adamant about resisting in the first place.
But then he pushes me away.
No…
"Wait Reiza…stop…this is a bad idea."
No…
I blink a few times and stare him down. My voice still raw I barely manage a "…why?"
"Th-the Shadow… it's not safe… I couldn't live with myself if anything were to happen to you."
Of bloody course, I feel a thunderous roar erupt inside me. You damn well better not make this about protecting me.
"Screw the Shadow!" Gedd flinches at my outburst, but I don't care. I'm angry. "Are you planning to leave then?"
"No…I'm not…"
Liar, you'll probably do it the first chance you get.
But I give him the benefit of the doubt.
"Then what difference does it make!" If we are together or apart it won't matter, the shadow will come regardless! If he doesn't want to be with me then fine, but don't make this about something else-
Gedd sighs; it's so full of anguish that the raging fire inside me instantly goes out.
"I don't know. The Shadow has destroyed everything good in my life. I can't let it harm you."
I bite my lip.
"It won't." Lies, you can't promise that Reiza. "I feel right when I'm with you…"
"I won't leave you,"
I want to believe you Gedd, really I do…
He closes his eyes and puts his head in his hands, internal conflicts painted all over his face.
"Then what do you suggest we do? I just don't want to be useless, losing another friend to my mistakes." He looks to me for the answers… I have none.
"Look, I'm not pretending I have any idea what to do but if you keep letting it rule your life, you'll never be happy." You're a hypocrite Reiza, a giant hypocrite. "And I don't want that… even if you don't want to be with… we'll figure it out. You stupidly trust me with your life; well that goes the same for me with you."
It's quiet for a long time.
I'm about to say something when Gedd finally looks up.
Smiling.
My heart skips a beat.
Damn it Reiza, now's not the time for clichés.
"Thanks Reiza, I appreciate it." I let go of a breath I didn't even realise I was holding. "I think it's the time to stop running, twelve years is long enough."
And he pulls me into his arms. Immediately all my anxieties leave my body all at once and all I feel is warmth. This is right.
I don't even try to hide the huge grin that spreads from cheek to cheek on my face. I lean back trying to get a better look at Gedd when I notice something rather odd. It must have been an obvious expression because Gedd perks up an eyebrow questionably.
"Why do you have a tiara on your head?"
He stares back at me like I'm crazy.
"I do?"
He fumbles around the top of his head and pulls off the beautiful piece of jewellery.
"I DO? What? Oh whatever." We both burst out laughing and I reach for the crown.
"I'll take that." I can't help but be a little smug when I do it.
"It's yours after all isn't it." I scan it over; I never forget a piece of jewellery I've taken. This WAS my tiara…
"Which begs the question, how did you get it?"
He just shrugs, "Narcissus's vault?"
"No I'm pretty sure I had it, and then we came back and drank…."
Ideas start plaguing my mind with less than pure intentions and I immediately push them out of my head.
"You know what, I'm pretty sure I'm better off not knowing."
"Agreed." We share another chuckle as we untangle ourselves from each other. It should be awkward but somehow it isn't. Though I am reminded that I'm still a little unstable from the wicked hangover I'm nursing.
"How's your head?" Gedd winces.
"A bit better now, still hurts when I move it, you?"
I grimace, "Well to tell you the truth I'm kinda surprised I'm still alive." Nervous laughter, I was really stupid last night.
"True, we drank a lot and if I'm right you started drinking human drinks when you were a pixie…which was a little silly."
Thanks mom.
But he's right.
"I don't know what I was thinking…guess I should be thankful this happened." I gesture to my human body and feel a little conflicted. Gedd picks up on it right away and sighs.
"Yeah I guess, I'm sorry you're human again."
I'm about to scold him for apologizing again but I stop myself. He's just worried about me and if I'm being honest, I think for once…I'm happy I transformed. Not because I could have died of alcohol poisoning (though don't get me wrong that's a huge plus) but if I hadn't then this….
"It worked out for the best this time…I think."
"I think so."
More smiles, I think it'll be something we'll both be doing more often in because no matter what happens we'll always have this moment.
My stomach starts growling for breakfast and I remember we actually have to get up for the rest of the day.
"Oh god Vance, he's never gonna let us live this down." Gedd offers me a hand up as we both laugh at our impending misfortune. He manages to get the last words in as we leave.
"Gods…this is going to be an interesting day."