Disclaimer: I do not own Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.

A/N: There's not enough yuri for this series, despite a large chunk of the cast being female...and Nozomu is too old and suicidal for them, anyway...

Also, I've never had cat scratches myself, so some things regarding the procedure in cleaning out the scratch may be incorrect. Of course, I could just look it up, but then that sorta throws the whole thing off-balance...

"Hey...Kaere-chan?"

"Yeah? Come on in, Abiru-chan...what is it?"

"Kaere-chan...I'm bleeding again...heh heh..."

Kaere Kimura heaved a heavy sigh as her girlfriend Abiru Kobashi waltzed into the bedroom in a gauche manner, blood slowly trickling down the side of her head. There were even scratch marks noticeable running across her temple and down her cheeks. It was probably due to her extensive bandage wrappings that she hadn't suffer even more damage.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, the blonde girl queried, "...You were messing around with the neighbor's cat again, weren't you?"

Abiru flashed a sheepish grin. "I...I just couldn't help myself...that long, luscious, bushy tail...I just had to pull it...it was practically BEGGING me to pull it..."

"No...no, it wasn't," Kaere shook her head, somewhat amazed by this girl's total disregard for her own safety, "That cat doesn't like ANYONE touching it, okay? Not even its owner can pet it without getting scratched...!! I told you all of this several times before too, but you just never seem to listen!"

"Hmm...if you say so, Kaere-chan..." Abiru shrugged her shoulders. She was most likely going to pull on the cat's tail again when she leaves later today, anyway.

Kaere rolled her eyes as she made her way over to her desk. "It's a good thing I decided to buy one of those heavy-duty first-aid kits when we started dating a while back..." she murmured, mainly to herself. Brushing a few stray cat hairs off of the hem of her skirt, Abiru sat down on the edge of Kaere's bed. A tiny smile graced her lips; she always felt so comfortable in Kaere's bedroom. It was like her home away from home.

The blonde had only begun to lean down to open the bottom-most drawer, when she suddenly glanced over her shoulder and said, "If you look at my panties without my consent, even if you ARE my girlfriend, I'll still sue you for sexual harassment...I'm serious."

Abiru nodded, quickly averting her eyes so she was looking at anything EXCEPT for Kaere's frilly, strawberry-patterned panties.

"Oh, yeah, you should get those cuts washed out first," Kaere pointed out, having just recalled one of the most important steps to cleaning out wounds caused by animals. Apparently, Abiru had forgotten this step as well.

"Uh...okay..."

"You know where the bathroom is, right? Come back when you're done, and then we can start patching you up...yet again..." there was a slight hint of annoyance in Kaere's words, but Abiru pretended not to take any notice of it.

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"Ahh..."

Abiru winced in pain at the burning sensation of the rubbing alcohol as Kaere lightly dabbed a Q-tip against a rather large tear on the upper-left part of her head, where most of the blood had flowed out. No matter how many times she had to gone through with this, she could still never get used to it. Kaere, however, had not an ounce of sympathy in her eyes for the poor girl. In fact, she looked absolutely livid.

"You know...I've been keeping this to myself so as not to upset you, but...I really think you need to stop pulling on animals' tails..." Kaere remarked in a low voice.

Abiru let out a horrid gasp. "W...What're you saying?!!"

"All of these wounds were due to pulling on animals' tails," Kaere explained, her voice beginning to waver, "You're practically wrapped up in bandages 24/7 because of your strange obsession. None of them enjoy having their tails pulled; they're going to keep attacking you. It frightens me to think that one day, I might get a phone call saying that you were nearly mauled to death by a pit bull or tiger or something for having pulled its tail! I don't like seeing you get hurt, Abiru-chan! I...I love you...and when you go around pulling on tails without a care in the world, knowing full well you might get injured...it makes me think you don't even care about how I feel regarding all of this...you're only thinking about yourself..."

"K-Kaere-chan..." Abiru wasn't even sure what to say. She never knew that Kaere felt so strongly about this issue.

"If I had a tail, I'd let you pull on it as much as you want without complaint, but I don't..." Kaere placed the Q-tip down beside her, and wiped her shimmering eyes against the back of her hand, "I...I just wish you would stop, Abiru-chan...I just want you to stop...I don't want you to get hurt anymore..."

It did not appear that she was going to burst into tears, yet the extreme worry she held for her dear lover was clearly there. Abiru pressed her palm to her chest, thoroughly touched; she had never met anyone who cared about her as much as this girl. She felt her heart skip a beat. Despite her rough nature, Kaere really was a very sweet, caring girl.

'Kaere-chan...you...'

With a soft smile breaking out along the edges of her mouth, Abiru leaned in and gently kissed Kaere on the very middle of her quivering, plump lips. Kaere's eyes grew wide in mild surprise at Abiru's sudden display of affection. Abiru giggled jovially, and wrapped one arm around Kaere's waist. She had a rather strong grip for a girl so fragile-looking. She could feel that their hearts were beating as one, with perfect rhythmic synchronization.

"...I don't think I'll be able to keep myself from pulling their tails..." Abiru bashfully admitted. She couldn't lie about her problem, especially not to her lover.

Kaere's face fell. "Abiru-chan, you-"

"Still...I think I know a way to keep them from attacking me, though..."

"Huh?"

"Here...just come with me..."

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Kaere could not help but feel puzzled as she followed Abiru outside. As usual, the neighbor's cat was sitting atop the wooden fence, lazily basking in the sun with a pleasant expression on its fuzzy face. Its long, bushy tail was as limp as a wet noodle. Still, there seemed to be a glint of unparalleled excitement in Abiru's eyes the moment she caught sight of it. Kaere crossed her arms and watched silently from the shadows as Abiru slowly tip-toed up to the unsuspecting feline. The blonde was fully prepared to jump in the moment she saw that Abiru was in danger.

"C'MERE, YOU!!!" Abiru clenched the fingers of her left hand as tightly as she could around the cat's tail, and gave it a powerful yank.

As expected, the cat gave out a foul screech, and prepared to attack. However, before it could even so much as spin its body around to face Abiru, it was sent flying by a powerful right-hook straight to the face. Several of its teeth had even become dislodged in the process. Kaere gawked; did Abiru really just punch a cat?

"See? How about that, Kaere-chan?" Abiru proudly boasted over to the blonde-haired girl, "This way I can pull its tail AND protect myself from being attacked!!"

'Ah, yeah...she doesn't care about the animal itself, only its tail...' Kaere thought, 'Although...I doubt that punching it will work on a large dog or on a giant tiger like that one at the zoo...'

Still, Kaere did not have the heart to tell the girl this little flaw in her plan, so she simply kept it to herself...