So, I wrote this story about...a year and a half ago? Yeah, wow that's long! Anyways i just fixed it up and now after being a little file on my computer for so long, it's finally on fanfiction for all to see! :) It's going to divided into two chapter's so here is the first half. I don't know how crazy about this story i still am, but i really hope you all are and enjoy reading it. :D
I sat on my couch in my dressing room crying as I so often did lately. It was February 19th. Officially 2 months since me and Chad broke up. I know I broke up with him and I shouldn't be the one crying, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to break up with him, but I mean what he did was unforgivable and anyone would have done the same thing. Things around so random have been great, we've gotten so many more fans and views and I'm closer to my cast than ever. So why was I crying?
I still loved him. As much as I really didn't want to, I wished he'd come and tell me how sorry he is and how much he misses me. I hated this. If my cast knew I was crying over Chad still after so long they would freak out. As close as me and my cast have gotten recently, the more they hate Mackenzie falls and especially Chad.
I got up and stared at myself in the mirror. Was I ever gonna get over him. No. I needed him he was like the blood in my veins. He is I all I ever think about and I would never love anyone like I love him.
Since we broke up we don't see as much anymore, which is very upsetting. Only in lunch and he never looks at our table, but its not his fault. My cast completely freaked out and threatened him and everything.
Even though I never see him doesn't stop me from completely loving him. Why did he have to be so stupid? I hate him…..no I don't. I couldn't take this I needed some fresh air.
I wiped away my tears and left my dressing room. I heard Nico and Grady coming down the hallway and I didn't want them to see me so I ran down the other hallway. Stupid move, I was heading for Mackenzie falls.
I stopped and admired the halls I used to know and walk down everyday, but not anymore. I was so distracted that I didn't see anyone coming. Then bam! We crashed. I didn't even have to look up to see who it was, I knew.
He was reading his script and hadn't seen me either. "I'm sorry…" he started without knowing it was me yet.
"….Sonny!"he whispered shocked. When he finally saw me. His voice was scared and nervous when he said my name.
I couldn't reply. I finally looked at him and our eyes met.
I think we were like that for a century. Just standing there in the middle of the hallway looking at each other. It's not that we haven't spoken since that day, it's just we never looked in each other's eyes like this.
"Were you crying?" he asked anxious. Damit! That was why he was starring at me, because he thought I was crying. Ohh I thought we were having a moment.
"umm no" I said wiping away my tears again. One of the things I loved about Chad was that he always knows when I was sad.
"Yes you were, are you ok?" he asked interested. No, I wasn't.
"Yeah I just just…." and I broke out crying again. Why was I doing this? Not in front of Chad. I think it was just because of how much I miss him, but he couldn't know that.
"Hey, it's ok" he said concerned. I should have ran away, far far away from him as possible. But I couldn't. He should've left too, I mean Tawni would kill him if he saw me crying in front of him. She would think he tried to hurt me again or something. But, no he stood there concerned about me.
The longer we stayed like that the more I wanted to cry. I wanted to tell him I that I still loved him. "No, it's not ok." I said though my tears.
"Oh my god, what happened?"He asked concerned. Like he doesn't know, but he actually doesn't. Why does he care. He's supposed to be a jerk and rude, not caring and sensitive. No he's still the same jerk he used to be, he didn't change.
He extended his hand to help me off the ground. I didn't know if I should take it, but I did and I felt that same stupid spark I used to every time we touched.
"Did your cast do something?"he asked. Chad looked really worried and I realized he wasn't going to leave.
"No, it's just.."I started. I knew he wouldn't leave unless I gave him some reason. " I .. I hit my head and it hurts." I lied. He didn't believe me. No one would, but what was I gonna tell him, I can't live without him.
"your lying."he stated. I tried not to look in his eyes again. He noticed. "Did I do something?"he asked fearfully. Yes, yes you did. You did everything you big stupid idiot. I didn't know what to say.
I wasn't crying that hard anymore and I looked at him blankly and did nothing.
"Do you wanna talk?" he asked uneasy. I did I really did, but I knew I shouldn't. I nodded knowing I would regret this later. If I was ever gonna get over him I shouldn't be even looking at him let alone talking to him.