Author's note: In this fanfic, Aoshi just happens to be a doctor...that's dating Sanosuke. Please do review and tell me what you think! Also I apologize if Aoshi seems a little OOC at times!
"What's that look for?"
"I'm sorry."
"I said I was sorry I lost my cool."
"Doctor…I really am."
"I know you love me deep inside…you're simply caught up in a lie…I'll just have to cut you free."
He couldn't help but smile. "Well, you're good to go. No need for apologizes. Just don't make the mistake next time." The young woman hesitated for a moment and he tilted his head, as if pointing the way out for her.
"Anything else I can do for you?"
"A…are you reporting me?"
Aoshi let out a soft huff, masking the sound as just exhaustion. "No, of course not. Just be more careful in the future, will you?" His concern wasn't fake, he always was a healer at heart, and if he couldn't heal someone it really bothered him. It was one of the reasons why he had left the front lines. In a small office of his own he never had so many casualties to deal with. After the female left he allowed himself to lean back and fully settled into his chair.
"Aoshi, please go. Your shift is long over." The nurse's voice was soft and soothing, something he strongly needed. He smiled at her, but it wouldn't appease the strong willed woman. "It's been a long day. You're clearly working too hard."
Earlier, he had visited his lover, but nothing good came out of it. Not the smallest ghost of a familiar smirk, no trace of their argument. Sanosuke was completely dry and occasionally almost cruel in his views against Aoshi's own views. Yet he still managed to utter words that somehow forced Aoshi to stay just a little longer by his side. Because he knew. He knew that Sanosuke was just trying to make himself feel better. About everything.
"I'm not asking much. Just give me your heart, deal with me and put no one else above me."
He hated playing those gut wrenching games that always seemed to make them run in circles. "Don't have to mother me," He said more gruffly than he had intended, but Jessie knew him long enough not to be hurt. 'I said go. Medical order. Now.' Her tone was gentle, but there was no doubt she meant business.
"Yes, yes…." Grabbing the nearest coat, he marched outside as he shoved his chilled hands into the pockets and hopped onto the earliest bus, quietly paying and dropped down onto the nearest sit, silently gazing out of the window, avoiding other human gazes.
My tears are falling. Oh, why is it so painful?
"I did nothing wrong so…Why do you hate me so much?"
Listening to the sound of the clock ticking away somewhere in his mind, Aoshi couldn't help but think over what Sanosuke said and how he'd reacted. He hated being alone because then all of his fears came back ten fold. But it wasn't that he was scared of Sanosuke, he was scared of what the man was becoming to him. Letting out a shaky breath, Aoshi groaned softly and buried his face in his hands as memory after memory flashed before his very eyes. But the silent moment came to a stand still when a warm hand dropped onto his shoulder, pulling him abruptly back to reality.
"Hey man….you're not looking so good there. You okay?" Aoshi paused for a few silent seconds, gazing out into the distance before finally uttering a soft yeah. But... "Yeah…I…I'm fine." He needs to see Sanosuke again. He needs to tell Sanosuke how he feels. He needs to make Sanosuke feel. The small yeah and added I'm fine seemed to do the trick and the gruff woman stepped aside, settling back into her chair on the moving bus.
So, when night falls and most people are already sleeping and Aoshi is drunk because of shame, he ends up sneaking back into their place. "Go away." The reply to Sanosuke's remark is swift and completely gut wrenching. Almost made Aoshi's eyes want to water. Aoshi doesn't go away though. He sits down next to his lover and wrapped his arms around him in a surprising affectionate gesture.
"No," Sanosuke says softly, even as his actions showed differently as he rested his head against Aoshi's cool body, still chilled from being outside so long. "I don't need help," Sanosuke grumbles, causing Aoshi to chuckle bitterly, slowly running a hand down Sanosuke's side.
"Then don't hide." Sanosuke was caught off guard with the gentleness of Aoshi's rough hands and it almost breaks him. Well, it does. He ends up pulling away, leaning his back against the wall, his fingers digging into his forehead and his pained face covered by his palms.
"You're always right."
Sanosuke's voice is muffled by his hands hiding his expression, but Aoshi can still hear it, barely. "Toxic. I am toxic."
"Don't hide your face from me…. Meet my gaze…I'm in love with your toxic side. Sanosuke….Sanosuke…listen to me…" Aoshi murmured softly, cupping the younger man's face as he made a move to turn his face away. "We can fix this. Besides, every relationship has up and downs. We've just reached one of those downhills." At that, a dam seemed to burst inside his lover and the tears soon came as his body quickly buried itself in the doctor's hold.
"I'm so sorry! For everything, my harsh words, the fighting, the-"
"Sanosuke…it's in the past now. No need to apologize. We both are guilty of hurting the other…so...so….let's just move on."
Later when Aoshi asks Sanosuke why he ignored all his calls earlier, Sanosuke tensed up, looking a bit guilty. "I was going to kill myself," Aoshi's stomach drops, but he doesn't flinch even as his jaw visibly tightens. Doing such a thing, like freaking out would just startle his already restless lover. "When?" The question is hard to ask, but he needs to know when he was, or maybe is, going to lose the man. "Tonight." Sanosuke's voice is softer than the gentle rainfall that hits the cracked pavement outside. Sanosuke doesn't speak again and Aoshi doesn't either, too busy recounting every bad day, every bad memory that makes him feel so hopeless, even after hearing the confession. When the sun finally breaches and floods the room early morning, Aoshi is startled to see Sanosuke asleep. But, he merely smiles fondly and kisses Sanosuke's cheek, falling asleep beside him, still exhausted from working and not sleeping a wink last night.