Center of affection
(A psychological analysis of Davis's feelings and perspectives in relation to Tru, shown through his subconscious monologue.)
Never before have I felt rejuvenated despite the long hours I spend at work.
Never before have I felt significant despite my title, my science, and my logic.
I have read countless of books and done countless research.
My office is filled with certificates.
My wall units over-cramped with books.
Years of experience, promotions and increased bank accounts indicate my so called success.
I am a doctor, a scientist.
I am my job.
I am the morgue.
I am dead.
*
Dead no more.
Not now.
Not ever.
She changed this notion.
She changed this preconception.
She changed me.
Her existence added another layer to mine.
Her calling made me think of mine.
I work on the dead, she works on the living.
I examine the body, she saves the soul.
Her mother saved my life, and she helped me understand it.
Appreciate it.
I am alive.
I am here.
In the moment.
With her.
With Life.
*
The moment.
Always caught in the moment.
For someone who has a calling, a seemingly overwhelming notion, she is focused on the moment.
Memories are not necessarily past tense.
Memories are not a vessel to dwell on negative experiences or to project various emotions.
Memories do matter, no matter how small.
I understand that now.
The slightest of word, action or information, may save a life.
May change a life.
May make a life.
It is a duty.
It is a memory.
It is her calling.
*
The calling.
What is a calling?
A job? A purpose?
A Dharma? A Karma?
Why do I find myself lost in a world of books, analyses and endless theories?
Am I helping?
Do I even want to?
Why?
Is it to help her?
Is it to help them?
Is it to help me?
It's her calling, her passion, her responsibility, her pain.
All I have is advice, based on theories, based on books, based on brain.
The question that begs to be asked is: Where is my heart?
Where had it been before I met her?
Before I knew her
Everything I knew and everything I thought I knew; was it all in vain?
She helped me.
She saved me.
She became my friend.
*
Friend.
Confidante.
Savior.
To me, she is all that, and more.
I was lost in my own world
I was hiding in my own shell.
Anatomy
physiology
biology
philosophy
My world was wrapped up in those chains.
With her came the key, with the key came life.
She opened doors to freedom
To wisdom
To love.
Lonely no more, for I found a friend.
She is my only friend
She is my True friend
She is Tru
The End