I began my day the same way that most other people start theirs; I woke up. Of course, what I woke up to was quite different than what I was expecting, or what anyone else would expect either. Most people begun their day with significant other, breakfast in bed, or maybe even a Meowth incessantly mewing for some food. What they don't wake up to, is a naked woman rummaging through their clothes. Normally, I wouldn't complain about something like that, but when I went to bed the night before, my house was lacking in nude women.

Needless to say, I was more than surprised to find her there. Having just woken up, my first response was to simply make a noise of surprise. "You're awake earlier than usual." She didn't even turn to face me as she spoke, continuing to rifle through my clothes and hold them up as if she was wondering if she should wear some. "You have very interesting taste in clothing."

"Who the hell are you?" I asked, looking around for something to defend myself with in case she decided to attack me. "Why are you in my house?"

"Well it's certainly not because of your snoring." She put on one of my shirts. The black T-shirt came mid-way down her thighs. That shirt was a gift from my mother, who had a bad habit of getting strange clothing like a t shirt that was too long for me. "Ampharos let me in."

I couldn't help but sigh at that. My Ampharos just couldn't do anything but be friendly. I always said he was more like to help you carry my television out the front door than stop you from breaking in to steal it. While he was useless for battling, he still did a damn fine job cleaning up when I'm at work. So for Ampharos to let her inside wasn't much of an issue, I'd have to talk to him about who you shouldn't answer the door for. If anything, I'm more concerned as to why this woman wants to come into my house and steal my clothes in the first place! "What do you want from me?"

The woman thought for a moment, crossing her arms. She had a tanned, olive skin, with jet black hair. I couldn't really tell from here, but her eyes seemed a little yellow with a slight glowing aura coming from there. "Well, I can't really live in your bushes anymore, now can I?"

"Excuse me? The only thing living in my bushes is an Umbreon who would not appreciate your company." I retorted. That Umbreon had lived there for some time now, long enough I began making a meal for it every once in a while. We more or less had a deal; keep away all the Pokémon I don't want around the house in exchange for cooked meals.

She scoffed. "Of course she would appreciate me, I'm her."

At this point I began to think that I was dreaming. Did this woman seriously think that she was the Umbreon living in the front of my house? That's just insane, Pokémon don't become humans, humans don't become Pokémon. She has to be crazy or on something. "Listen, I don't know that, but if you don't get out of my home, I'm calling the police." I threatened her, reaching for the phone on my nightstand.

"Sitrus Berry!" She shouted desperately as my hand hovered about the phone. "I gave you a Sitrus Berry when you were upset."

I thought about what she meant until I realized what she was talking about. I was dating a girl for a few years before I found out from my friend Mike that she was cheating on me. That night I sat on my front step thinking about everything. My mind was in utter turmoil and I wasn't sure what to do or think. After an hour I felt a nudge on my foot. Up until then Umbreon and I kept our distance, letting each other do our own thing. Now, however, here it was dropping a Sitrus Berry at my feet before retreating back into the bushes to watch me. Out of respect I tried to eat the berry. While it tasted like I was eating a lemon, I felt surprisingly refreshed afterwards. An interesting thing is that there aren't too many Sitrus berries in my neighborhood, they're quite rare in fact. This Umbreon had gone out of its way to bring me the best gift it could think of to cheer me up. I was grateful to say the least.

I never really told anyone about it, so there would be little chance she would know about it unless she actually was the Umbreon. "Okay, let's say you are the Umbreon, why are you a human?"

"I don't know."

"Brilliant. Why are you in my house, then?"

"I told you, Ampharos let me in."

I sighed. "No, why are you in my house? Why not find a homeless shelter."

She took a moment to process the question and her answer. "Well, you were the closest place I could think to go. Humans don't like it when they don't wear clothes, either."

I wasn't sure how to really take what she just said. If she understands why humans wear clothes, then why wouldn't she also understand the concept of breaking and entering? Was she confident enough that I would let her stay here while she figured out what happened? A million more questions raced through my mind, it was a lot to take in this early in morning. "I can't deal with this right now, I need some coffee."

I got out of bed and made my way to kitchen. Thankfully, Ampharos shut the door again after letting the human Umbreon inside. At least I could rely on the little yellow pacifist to do that right. My guess is he's hiding in the bathroom, he knows he made a mistake, I guess I'll have to talk to him later. Umbreon fooled me down the stairs and watched as I made my morning coffee, analyzing my every move. When the pot of coffee was done, I sat at the kitchen table to take my time and drink the coffee. Yes, I drink my coffee black, it's easier than screwing around with sugar and cream.

I mulled over what I knew so far while I silently drank my coffee. Something must have happened last night to this Umbreon. I remember her being in the bushes when I got home from work last night, so this is very recent. My guess is that she doesn't know either, and she came to me because I'm the oldest thing she has to a friend. While flattered, this may get even stranger if I don't start teaching her to be human. I looked over at her and watched as she tried to groom herself, licking her hand and running it through her hair. I really hope I don't have to show her how a shower works. "So do you know anything about why you're a human now?" I asked, still nursing my coffee.

"No, I woke up and I was human." She thought for a moment. "I don't remember falling asleep either."

That was odd. Last I remember, Umbreon are nocturnal; she wouldn't be asleep at night. "Do you think that someone or something did this to you?"

"I don't know."

"Well what do you plan to do about this?"

"Be human I guess." She went back to grooming herself. She seemed to be upset that it wasn't as effective as she hoped it would be.

"Well you can start by getting acquainted with the shower."

What followed was a waste of my Saturday teaching Umbreon how to be a human. Everything from bathing to using a fork was discussed, along with her quips about how superfluous many of these activities seemed. She did not seem to enjoy her predicament, but at least she was smart to know it's better not to fight it. Instead, she decided to fight me over it. In fact, there were moments where she intentionally pushed my buttons to amuse herself. Like when she kept dropping my fucking glass cups on the floor to see me get mad. Luckily, Ampharos was there to ease most of our tension. While I was still upset with him for letting strangers into the house, at least he knew how to make me smile.

However, there was only so much that I could take by myself. I needed back up, and I needed it now. I called up my friends, Mike and Cassie, and agreed to meet them tonight. I didn't tell them the whole situation, only that I was bringing a person I wanted them to meet. If I told them the full story, they'd think I was crazy. I'd rather save this for face to face so they knew I was serious.

Meanwhile, I decided to introduce her to wonderful foods that she just can't experience as a Pokémon. I decided upon chocolate, but only a small dose; there's no way in hell that I'm going to deal with her having a sugar rush. She was hesitant at first, but quickly realized it wouldn't kill her and fell in love. Hopefully, I could use this to bribe her to stop getting on my nerves.