The trouble with Christmas, Becker thought as he strode through the corridors of the ARC, was that the closer it got the more people seemed to panic.
He'd suffered from it as he was growing up, being dragged along to the shops by his mother when he was deemed too young to be left by himself at home. He had to trail along behind her whilst she overloaded a shopping trolley with enough food to feed a small nation for a week.
If the apocalypse came, it should do so at Christmas. That would be the best time, people would be safely in their homes with their store cupboards bulging at the seams. The chances were that half of them wouldn't even notice anything was amiss until they all descended on the shops again on Boxing Day or the day after to hunt for bargains or stock up on any food they might have missed the first time round. They wouldn't starve at New Year either.
Last year, Becker had spent Christmas in his flat drinking beer, eating pizza and watching action movies all by himself. Actually, it had been great. His parents had gone on a cruise and his sister had decided it was too stressful to deal with newborn twins and cooking Christmas dinner so his brother-in-law was cooking and... Becker had managed to wriggle out of it by showing uncharacteristic concern for his brother-in-law's workload, and basically had several days to himself with nobody flapping or getting stressed as a result. It had been wonderful.
In theory, this year should have been even better. His parents had enjoyed their cruise so much that they were taking another one. His sister was pregnant again and everything was far too stressful to even think about cooking, so his brother-in-law would have to do the honours again and Becker could politely excuse himself for a second year. And it wasn't as if he'd even have to spend the day by himself because this year he had the lovely Jess to keep him company. The plan had been that she was going to cook him dinner and serve up who knew what kind of other delights as they had the whole day to themselves and it was their first Christmas together.
Except Jess's grandmother was coming down now. And her parents. And, worst of all, Jess had intercepted a phone call from Becker's sister a few days ago and now somehow they were coming to dinner too. Jess said it was because she didn't want him to feel her family was taking over his Christmas and her flat was big enough to host such a big party, but Becker suspected there had been some persuasion on his sister's part so that she and her husband could both have a lazy day. Of course they were bringing the year old twins. There would be no peace on earth that day.
His normally unflappable girlfriend had been getting progressively more stressed as the week had gone on, and the previous evening enough food to feed most of south London had been delivered from Tesco. The fridge was absolutely stuffed full to bursting, and Jess had spent most of the evening on the internet researching cookery pages and generally looking uncharacteristically worried.
At least they were going to get Boxing Day to themselves, which was something. Becker longed for the quiet of the previous year. He suspected that Jess probably did as well, because apparently she'd spent the day with her parents and been able to sit back and enjoy herself. This year she was going to be run off her feet.
Jess had asked him to stop by before he left for the day, but she was on her mobile when he reached the Hub. Hoping she hadn't been trapped by yet another potential guest, he felt a little apprehensive when she spotted him and waved him over, still talking to whoever it was on the other end of the line.
"...yes, by four. That should be fine... can you just hold on a moment?" Jess lowered her mobile for a moment. "Becker, you're off in a minute aren't you? Could you pick up the Christmas tree on the way home? I've chosen one and ordered it but it's huge, it'll never fit in my car."
As a sardine would, in Becker's opinion, have trouble fitting in Jess's tiny car that didn't really surprise him. He didn't tell her that.
"Yes, I'll take the truck. Or is it too big for that as well?"
Jess ignored his sarcasm and just beamed at him indulgently then went back to her phone call, confirming the pickup.
"Thanks for that," she told him when she'd rung off. "I stopped at the nursery this morning and chose a nice one, and it's all paid for so you only need to collect it. They close at four. I love the smell of fresh pine. It's so Christmassy."
It wasn't as if it was going to be any trouble and at least it was something he could help her with. He took the address that she scribbled down for him, kissed her, saw Lester scowling at them from his office so gave her a full-on snog instead just to discourage their boss from putting them on different shifts ever again, and headed off.
If he was lucky he'd have time to collect the tree, pick up the special present he'd ordered for Jess, get home and wrap it up and still catch a few hours sleep before she got home and the manic preparations began.
Matt was in the locker room when Becker went to change into his civvies. He was taking a couple of bulky carrier bags out of his locker, also preparing to go home.
"Presents for Emily?" Becker asked.
Matt rolled his eyes. "Connor seems to think my life won't be worth living if I don't. I hate Christmas, it's the biggest waste of food and money I've ever seen. I saw people yesterday buying more food in one go than I'd see in an entire year when I was a kid! Most of it's going to get wasted. It's wrong."
"It's tradition."
Matt harrumphed, and picked up the carrier bags.
"Shouldn't you be using those recycled hessian things?" Becker asked, trying not to smirk. "Not very save the planet, is it?"
Matt glared at him. "At least I've got something. I don't see you carrying anything. Jess doesn't strike me as the sort of woman who's going to be very forgiving if there's not several presents waiting for her in the morning."
"All organised. I'm picking up the last one in a minute, then getting the tree and I'm all set."
"A tree?" Matt asked. "Like the plastic one in Reception?"
"No, this is a real one. Apparently they smell nicer."
Matt frowned. "Yes, they do. Growing in the forest. Seriously, you're having a tree cut down just so Jess's living room smells nice?"
Becker could feel one of Matt's green lectures approaching. Just because he came from a future with no plant life, or indeed much of any life, it didn't mean he had to dampen everyone's enjoyment of it in the present day. There had been a time when Becker had very thoughtfully picked up some cheap flowers from outside a petrol station for Jess. He'd had to listen to Matt droning on about how wrong it was not to let them grow wild and free all the way back to the ARC. It was beyond tiresome.
"Yes. And they plant another one, it's sustainable."
"It's wrong, that's what it is."
What seemed the most wrong to Becker was that Matt followed him out of the locker room to the car park, still going on about the tree and commercialism and waste. Becker strode quickly through the corridors, hoping the shorter man might fail to keep up but somehow Matt managed to trot along beside him without actually running.
"Trees are beautiful. I suppose it's just a small one that's hardly had a chance to live?"
Becker sighed. He'd reached the truck but Matt showed no sign of going away. He wondered if he could get away with driving off whilst Matt was still bleating about the tree?
"It's a huge tree. That's why I need the truck. It's lived a long and happy life, and now it's going to enjoy Christmas in Jess's warm flat instead of being left out in the cold. Happy Christmas, Matt, see you in a few days." He opened the door to his Hilux and climbed in, but Matt stopped him from shutting the door again.
"You'll need help getting it in the truck if it's that big. I'll come along and help. You can drop me off at my flat afterwards."
"What about your car?" Becker attempted desperately. He really didn't want to have to listen to any more of Matt's complaints about the tree.
"Emily can take it home later. Saves me having to come back in and pick her up. Hey, we can go to the pub, grab a beer!"
"Or you can," Becker muttered grumpily. "Get in, but not another word about the tree."
Matt looked far too happy as he climbed into the passenger seat. It was unusual for the normally dour Irishman, but Becker supposed it was the thought of being able to down several pints while Becker would have to sit there nursing a coke.
As they pulled out of the ARC car park, Becker suddenly realised that this meant Matt would be with him when he picked up Jess's present. He groaned, then wished he hadn't.
"What's up?"
"Um... nothing. I just need to stop in the High Street and pick something up. Oh, and Jess said she needed some more of that vanilla custard she likes from Tesco. It's good on the Christmas pudding, apparently. Could you do me a favour and run in there to get it while I pick up Jess's present?"
"Sure."
That was easy, Becker thought.
Far too easy, as it turned out. To cope with the huge queues some bright supermarket manager had opened an eight items or less till just for lunchtime. Matt was the only person in the entire store who had less than fifty items and just sailed through.
And, being a man from the future who watched everything that everyone did with fairly open suspicion, Matt had seen exactly where Becker had gone and was leaning over his shoulder before the overly slow shop assistant had finished with the couple in front.
"A jewellers, Becker?" The delighted grin spreading across Matt's face was just infuriating. "You're not getting a ring?"
Becker had actually thought about it whilst looking through the window of the shop. But he was Becker, and it had taken him a very, very long time to get up the courage to even ask Jess out. Anything else was just going to take a lot longer. He'd known Matt would react like this if he saw Becker go into a jewellers.
"It's a necklace. An expensive one."
It was a very expensive one. As the shop assistant went off to fetch it, Becker could almost hear his bank account moaning in pain.
Matt peered at the delicate necklace when the assistant showed it to them. "That's a bit tasteful, Becker. She'll be expecting a ring in February if you give her that for Christmas!"
Knowing he could expect this line of conversation for months, Becker tried to put a stop to it. "Perhaps. Emily and Abby thought it was just what she'd like. They were looking rather envious, actually. Especially Emily. Being a lady, she's used to nice things. What have you got for Emily, Matt?"
Judging by the sudden silence beside him, the answer was probably a pot plant.
The shop assistant probably worked on commission. He had stopped wrapping Becker's purchase and was looking up hopefully.
"We do have a number of other very beautiful pieces for sale," he told Matt. "Ones that would suit either of the very lovely ladies that accompanied Mr Becker when he ordered this."
Becker smirked, too amused to even correct the man. Luckily they had plenty of time because he was probably going to have to take Matt to A&E when the somewhat frugal team leader saw the prices...
"I need that pint, right now," Matt muttered as they left the jewellers nearly an hour later. "That was nearly two weeks wages gone! On a stupid necklace!"
Becker had been right about his reactions to the prices. Matt had tried to go for the cheapest, but Becker pointed out that Emily had seen the range already and would know it was the cheapest, and the terribly helpful assistant showed him the necklaces that Emily had been particularly keen on (which Becker couldn't recall happening but as he'd mostly been trying not to run out of the shop at the time he supposed the assistant knew what he was doing).
As he was starving by that stage, and they still had two hours until the Christmas tree place shut, Becker took pity on Matt and led him into the nearest pub. Also, he was enjoying the slightly stunned look on Matt's face too much, and wanted to take the opportunity to remind Matt how much he'd just spent. Repeatedly.
Matt downed the first pint in one and ordered another. Becker nursed his half, trying to make it last because after that it would be coke all the way. Matt was on his third pint by the time the food eventually came out. It wasn't the fastest service in the world, and Becker was starting to worry about how long it was taking.
He was distracted by the cheery news from his sister a few minutes later when she rang to tell him they wouldn't be coming for Christmas after all. Apparently the twins were down with a bug. He tried to sound disappointed and said he'd let Jess know himself. He didn't particularly want Jess speaking to his sister again, she was so kind-hearted that she'd probably tell them to come anyway, and then they'd all be down with whatever the kids had for New Year. He texted Jess with the news though, not wanting to be asked how he was doing with the tree. He still had plenty of time. Well, enough time anyway. She texted back with a sadface and a kiss, and that seemed to be that.
Becker's phone rang again as he swallowed the last of his pie and chips. With a slightly guilty start he saw it was Jess. But there was still an hour to go before he had to pick up the tree. He had time.
"Becker, where are you?"
"On my way to get the tree." It wasn't exactly a lie. The trouble was, the landlord had started playing Christmas music over the loudspeakers.
"Your location tracker says you're in a pub about twenty minutes away from the nursery."
"Just having some lunch."
"It's three o'clock. You know it shuts at four?"
He could hear the worry in her voice. At least she knew him well enough not to even ask if he'd been drinking.
"Don't worry, we'll be on our way in a moment. See you later." He rang off quickly before she could say anything else.
Matt raised an eyebrow. "Under orders?"
Becker stood up, picking up the present. "Drink up, I'm not having Jess's Christmas ruined."
Matt drained his glass and followed Becker out. Becker pretended he couldn't hear the Irishman muttering under his breath about some people being completely whipped. Matt could talk, he'd caved in about the necklace for Emily quickly enough.
The traffic was slower than Becker would have liked, but at least it was moving. They were halfway to the nursery when Matt suddenly started fidgeting in his seat, frantically checking his pockets.
"Becker! Emily's necklace! I've left it in the pub! Damn! Turn round, we've got to go back!"
Becker looked at him in horror. They'd barely make it to the nursery if they had to backtrack. "You idiot! Ring them, see if it's been handed in."
"Nobody's going to hand that in! Our only hope is if it's still on the table. Turn round, now!" Matt actually made a grab for the wheel, and Becker realised he wasn't going to have much choice.
The pub was just as busy as before, and their table had been occupied. There was no sign of the distinctive jewellers bag, and the couple sitting there weren't overly amused when Matt started crawling around under the table just to be sure.
Becker walked over to the bar, just in case someone had handed it in. He spoke to the barman, then stood waiting for Matt to finish harassing all the nearby customers, holding out the bag and waiting for the team leader to notice.
"Two weeks wages!"
"Matt..."
"I need a whisky!"
"Matt..."
"Aren't there any honest people left?"
"Well, there's the barman. And the couple who were on the next table who handed it in to him before they left..."
Matt suddenly saw what Becker was holding, grabbed it and looked so relieved that Becker thought for a moment he was going to hug everyone in the room. Instead he settled for just the rather burly barman, who luckily decided it was funny rather than a cause to thump him.
"Now can we go?" It was twenty to four. If he put his foot down they might just make it.
Matt was clutching the bag quite tightly. He nodded, and followed Becker out.
The traffic was still slow. It wasn't so much that there were traffic lights, more that there were last minute shoppers everywhere. Becker tried a short cut, sped through red lights when he could, but when the nursery finally came into view his heart sank. The bright Christmas lights on the front were all turned off, and the car park was empty. It was only five past four. Evidently the staff had been keen to leave as soon as they could.
Beside him, Matt had gone very quiet.
Becker stared at the darkened building, as if it was suddenly going to burst into light and the tree magically appear. Nothing happened.
"Jess is going to kill me," he groaned.
"Sorry," Matt did actually sound contrite. "We passed an Argos though. You could still get her an artificial one..."
Becker glared at him, wondering if he'd delayed him on purpose.
It hadn't been a particularly difficult thing to do.
Jess had already chosen the tree she wanted, all Becker had to do was drive down in the Hilux and pick it up.
Matt had agreed to come and face the music with him, as it was mostly Matt's fault they didn't have the tree after all.
Argos had sold out of the nicer artificial trees, and all they had in the larger ones were a few from the value range that hadn't been very popular because they looked cheap and nasty. There was a more expensive one with pine cones but it was only four foot high. Still, he went for that one as the best option. Jess was going to be really disappointed. She'd told him how much she loved decorating the tree on Christmas Eve every year, it was a Christmas tradition for her.
And now, instead of bringing her the tree she'd chosen, he was carrying a box full of plastic tree that was going to look too small in her living room, and every time she looked at it over Christmas she'd know that he'd let her down.
Jess must have heard the truck arrive, because as soon as he opened the door she was standing at the top of the stairs, arms folded, waiting for him.
"Hi Jess!" Matt greeted her just a little too cheerily.
Becker just froze where he stood, holding the box in front of him protectively. "We had a bit of a problem," he ventured.
Jess, he noticed, wasn't looking very pleased. And, unusually for her, she wasn't saying anything.
"We got you a great tree though," Matt enthused. "Look, it's never going to die, you won't have to have any killed in the future..."
Becker wondered if perhaps trees weren't the things that they should worry about getting killed.
"Matt bought a gift for Emily, then left it behind..."
"It cost two weeks wages!" Matt put in. "We had to go back."
"To Victorian times, presumably, as it took you so long?"
Jess, Becker thought, really needed to stop working with Lester. She was getting far too sarcastic.
"It was in the pub. Someone handed it in," Matt told her. "Two weeks wages, Jess!"
"The traffic was terrible," Becker added. "And I think the nursery must have shut early."
Jess pursed her lips, then stood back to let them up the stairs. She still didn't look particularly pleased. Becker felt horribly guilty, because he could have left Matt in the pub after they'd ordered lunch, got the wretched tree and then come back in the length of time it had taken for the food to arrive. And Jess had such a lot to do, with all her family coming down.
He edged past her with the box and turned the corner on the landing.
There was a huge Christmas tree at the far end of her living room, over by the patio doors. It was strung with brightly coloured lights, and as he got closer he saw it had what must have been several packets of chocolate decorations dangling from the branches. There was a faint scent emanating from it. It was undoubtedly real. Becker stared at it, then looked back at Jess, confused. She was smirking at him.
"I had a feeling you weren't going to make it in time so I used one of your security teams to pick it up."
"Why didn't you tell me? We've bought this thing now!" He kicked the box grumpily.
"You had four hours to get it. You were in the pub!"
Matt was regarding the tree with a little disgust, but before he could say anything about how very wrong it was, Becker shoved the box at him. It was mostly Matt's fault anyway.
"Here, you don't have a tree. You can have this thing. Happy Christmas!" He started to herd Matt back towards the stairs, but Jess stopped them.
"Matt does have a tree. Emily liked the idea so much that she got one too. Never mind," she took the box away from the horrified Irishman. "This one will be lovely in the hall. I love Christmas decorations!"
"A real tree?" Matt gasped. "In my flat?"
"Emily thought you'd like it," Jess told him. "You like plants."
It almost made up for the mess Matt had made of his day, Becker thought. When he drove Matt home a short while later, it was a very quiet journey.
Apart from a few mentions by Becker of the new addition to Matt's flat...
When Becker got home, he was a little surprised by how peaceful the flat was.
Jess had settled on a sofa in front of the tree with a glass of wine, chocolates and a book. She didn't look as if she were panicking about a huge meal the next day.
"What time are your family arriving tomorrow?" he asked, pouring himself a glass of wine.
Jess shook her head. "They're not. It's been snowing up there and there's more forecast so they're not risking it. I've invited some of the others over for Boxing Day because there's just too much food. But we've got Christmas Day to ourselves."
Becker knew he was grinning perhaps a bit too much at that news, but as Jess looked quite happy about it too he didn't stop. Christmas was suddenly looking a whole lot better. He went over to join her, first placing the elaborately-wrapped necklace at the very front of the presents under the tree.
Sure enough, Jess immediately got up to look at it, gave a little squeak of pleasure and threw her arms around him.
"Thank you!"
"It might be an empty box!"
She just smiled at that, presumably because she knew he wouldn't dare, and pulled him down to snuggle up on the sofa with her.
He was probably forgiven, he supposed. Christmas was going to be just perfect.