He was upset, angry - clear disdain vibrated across the bond he shared with his Master. He knew it did, and the passing glances those brown eyes gave him made him even more frustrated and angry. The fact that his master had not even given a second thought to him, it made him irate.
It was like an itch under his skin. A betrayal of the highest. He was supposed to lean on his Master, to trust his Master and that man had stabbed him in the back. In front of the entire council! It was as though his Master was telling the council he was nothing more than rubbish to be cast aside.
Something 'better' had come along.
He looked at the boy standing beside his master and wished they'd never gone to Tatooine. Qui-Gon was openly ignoring him, shoving him off as his apprentice just to take this boy under his wing. He had just said last week that he wasn't ready to be a Knight and now... all because of the boy.
The feeling of pure hatred welled up in him, and those brown eyes looked at him again, a soothing comfort attempted to reach across their damaged bond.
Obi-Wan refused it with an angry push of his force signature. Why would his Master care now, if had ever cared that is. He found himself wishing he could have stayed with Master Yoda or picked by Master Windu even.
Pain etched in his heart as he remembered the sheer joy the day he had been picked by Master Jinn. He had been floating on air, so proud that he'd impressed him and that the great Jedi had seen potential in him. He had worked so hard to garner respect from his Master.
But at the moment, all he found that he could do was wish he'd never been picked.
"Padawan," the gentle voice of his Master nearly made him crumble and the warm hand on his shoulder made him shiver, "we need to speak."
"No. We don't, Master. You made yourself quite clear earlier." He shoved the offending hand off and walked brusquely towards one of the ships. He didn't want comfort right now, he merely wanted to forget the meeting had even happened.
He could feel the confusion, the sadness seep from his master and toward him. But he didn't care, because beneath it all there was the boy's wellbeing above all else.
Pathetic little boy. Obi-Wan glared at Anakin, the chosen one. Chosen above all else, even his own Master was ready to cast him aside. The boy couldn't do anything that his normal age group could, it would be an uphill battle. It would mean ridicule for his Master, it would mean something else for the council to frown upon.
Obi-wan watched as Master Jinn smiled at Anakin, laughed with him, taught him as he would his own child. He could nearly feel the Master and Padawan bond growing cold with each passing moment.
Perhaps, he was to blame as well. Maybe he had not been the Padawan his master had wanted, they clashed so severely at times.
He was a near failure at the living force, something his Master was renowned to be an expert in. He had tried his hardest, and yet the living force evaded him each and every test.
But everyone had their weaknesses, even the most experienced of Jedi. His master should know this well. It couldn't be his fault. It had to...the boy. Again. Everything was that insufferable little whelps fault.
He felt the hate well inside him and he realized he needed to meditate before things became worse. He needed time for the force to comfort him, since his own Master was not willing. He would not be drawn into the seductive lure of the dark side because of that little grievous life form.
The Padawan found a quiet spot on the ship as Queen Amidala spoke to his Master of her plans. She was not one to sit idly by and he admired her for that. Most rulers would never think so highly of their people as to walk into a known war torn planet.
Obi-Wan sat with his legs crossed, back rested on one of the cold walls as he opened himself to the force. He leaned on it, drawing comfort and peace from it's warmth. The only place he could fully let himself feel.
It was home.
He swirled in the force, gaining pleasure and peace from the ebb and flow swallowing him. But soon he noticed something was amiss. Something was unsettled in the force, like an insect buzzing around an ear. One could hear it, but not pinpoint it.
Then he found it.
A soft, small force signature seemed to crawl around him, but not near him, as though feeling him out. Curiously, it poked at his mind and he twitched his eye in loss of concentration. The signature wasn't dangerous. It didn't mean harm, it was just wondering about this other one.
The signature seemed to poke at him again and the uncertainty didn't go unnoticed. Instantly, Obi-Wan knew that it belonged to the young Skywalker. It radiated fear. Fear of being turned into a slave again, fear of losing his mother, fear of becoming a Jedi, fear of the restrictions of a Jedi, fear of dying, fear of losing Qui-Gon. So much fear.
Brown eyes slowly opened to see the young boy asleep on the opposite seating area and the Padawan sighed lowly. That boy that he hated so much, needed his Master Jinn. Any other master would not understand him.
If the Jedi didn't take him, didn't accept Anakin as a pupil, he had no future. And that above all else rang clearly over the other fears. Alone. Away from his mother, without the possibility of one day freeing his mother. So much responsibility already weighed on the little boys mind that Obi-Wan felt guilt gnaw at him.
He had been jealous of this? Of the pain this boy was now suffering? Of the uncertainty of his future?
Obi-Wan stood, walking to where the boy slept, and placed a calloused hand gently on his forehead. He infused a stream of force into his hand, quelling the nightmares that coursed through the small child. He whispered, "no need to worry. You're in good hands now."
His Master glanced at him while not faltering in his comments to the young queen. He felt the curiosity of the Jedi master across their bond, the soft approval and then the unmistakable feeling of admiration. Love was the only word to describe it.
The Padawan ducked away from his master, still feeling slightly bitter and yet reveling in the feeling. A blush came to his cheeks unknowingly and then he felt the sudden thrill that vibrated along the bond. He swirled around to face his master.
Qui-Gon nodded at Padme before chancing a glance at his pupil and there was something hidden in those eyes, something that he'd never seen before.