this could be good,
it's already better than that.
.
.
the bittersweet
i.
.
"Guan Ping, don't be cruel!"
The boy, comfortably perched on the peach tree branch, laughed. "Ah, don't be so dramatic!"
Xing Cai glared up at him from the ground with her arms crossed and a huffy expression on her little china-doll face. "Then just give me one!"
Guan Ping continued to juggle a pair of peaches with ease. "Give you one what?" he teased. Oh, how he loved to tease her.
She glowered back up at him, tempted to yell out profanities as she threatened to climb up there herself and pull him down if he insisted on being insufferable.
To this, the boy snorted. "You? You can't climb anything to save your life." But Xing Cai had already pulled up her skirt to her knees and latched onto the tree. She had made it half way before he realized she wasn't kidding.
"Hey—hey! Xing Cai, don't! Wait—stop!" he exclaimed as she inched closer and closer.
And with one yank, down came Guan Ping, cradle and all. Along with about twenty peaches that came lose from their stems.
Dazzed, Guan Ping poked his head up from the pile of dried leaves he had fortunately fallen into. Xing Cai had already made it down the tree, and stood before him, complete with a smug expression and a peach held in each hand.
Guan Ping, looking up at her, opened his mouth to say something but was quickly silenced as Xing Cai swiftly stuck a peach between his teeth.
He would have glared at her the whole time with the fruit in his mouth, but found his expression softening as she fell in her ground in laughter.
.
.
Her very first thought of him was stranger.
There he was, fidgeting in his new high class robes, standing awkwardly by her sworn uncle and eyes downcast, refusing to meet anyone's.
Lord Guan Yu had introduced him as Guan Ping, his new adopted son from a near by district. He was quiet and sullen throughout his whole welcome dinner, but 10-year-old's weren't forced to speak much, so he got away with simple yes sir's and no sir's.
From where she sat at the table of Shu elites, little almost 10-year-old Xing Cai eyed the boy sitting opposite her.
Who was this stranger, forcing himself into her precious family? Dressing and dining as if he was one of them? Soon to be living her home of the Shu palace where he clearly didn't belong? Receiving the attention and welcome he didn't even deserve… or appreciate.
With her wary gaze turning into a cold, hard glare, Xing Cai decided she didn't like this new, uneasy boy, stranger to her and her world.
.
.
He'd known her two years now, and he's never seen her climb.
As they ate their peaches under the tree they had played in, Xing Cai admitted to have never climbed anything before, and was simply driven by the need to prove him wrong.
Guan Ping laughed. "That pride of yours is gonna get you in trouble someday, Xing Cai."
She looked at him, sitting beside her as they rested their backs against the foot of the tree. "How so?"
He ate the last piece of this fruit and licked the sweet juice left in his fingers before replying, "There will be times where you have to admit defeat."
At this, Xing Cai rose to her knees, temper rising. "But I was able to climb it."
"That's not the point!" he too, getting to his knees.
"Then what is!"
"That you can't win at everything!"
Xing Cai stopped and drew her face back. They had gotten so worked up, their faces were too close. She sat back down, and looked away from him, angry that she hadn't gotten the last word.
Guan Ping let out a frustrated huff as he rubbed the back of his neck, drawing back as well. She was so stubborn, it drove him nuts.
He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, seeing her just as annoyed, facing away from him.
He opened his mouth to say something, but his 12-year-old boy mind, not as mature as he hoped it to be, couldn't come up with anything. Instead, he just looked at her. His friend for two years now, since his arrival at Shu. How cold and distant she was at first. It's a good thing he got her to warm up to him. Not that they didn't have their few spats once in a while. And now was one of those once-in-a-while's.
Then he noticed her knees, since she had kept her skirt a bit ridded up. "Cai, your knees…"
She didn't even have time to look back at him before he was already up close and examining they red scrapes and dangling bits of flesh that even she hadn't noticed. What she did noticed was how his hand lingered on her thigh, holding her skirt up to get a better look at the wounds.
She fought a blush.
Guan Ping didn't seem to notice where his hand ended up as he tsked. "I knew you couldn't climb."
"Yes, I can!" she argued, flaring up once more.
"Not without hurting yourself." He scoffed, rolling his eyes.
And once again, he had the last word. Because in the end, he was right. Xing Cai was hating this. Then as he helped her to her feet, Xing Cai was oblivious to the stinging no more.
Propping one arm over his shoulder and letting her lean into him, Guan Ping led them back to the castle grounds. "Let's get you home so they can treat you." Xing Cai, softly hissing with each step, nodded.
I'm going to be in so much trouble, he thought, but kept that to himself.
.
.
Guan Ping had survived the week and would be proud to say, did not feel like running away anymore.
The people here at Shu were pleasant enough, some more friendly than others. But pleasant all the same. A big adjustment from his life back home, though.
At this, Guan Ping had to stop himself. This was his home now. Shu. Not that house filled with children his birthparents couldn't keep fed. Where he was just another face in a crowd of noisy brats that he could never relate to. He never felt like he belonged.
But that had all changed when he came.
He came into his life, a giant to his rescue, and like a wish come true, he saw him. He saw him, despite the many faces that resembled him so. He'd never know what set him apart, but he asked no questions and refused nothing as his savior lead him away from that hell hole.
Shu was his new home. With the warm filling meals, smiling faces of encouragement and acknowledgement and the pride and faith his father, Guan Yu, had for him. This was home. This was right.
Then he gets shoved aside.
"Watch it." Said the cold, high-pitched voice that belonged to the one person who didn't seem very happy about him being here. Guan Ping took her glare before she quickly turned away and continued down the hallway.
Her name was Xing Cai. Father has introduced her as his niece, not by blood, but by swearing brotherhood with her own father. While Guan Ping was hesitant and anxious to meet other children his age, she seemed hell bent on scaring him off. Her pretty china-doll face and polite greeting of welcome might have fooled others, but he didn't miss the look in her doe-brown eyes.
Leave.
You don't belong.
Stranger.
Quite the welcoming committee she was. And as taken he was by her, Guan Ping thought it best to stay clear from this girl. And for the most part, I did, which is why he more comfortable now. But there were still the meals with the Shu elites, and the occasional joint tutorial sessions. He couldn't avoid her then. And although she never went out of her way to terrorize him, if it so happened they ended up in the same room, she never failed to chill his whole body with her ice cold gazes.
This girl, this Xing Cai, was definitely the only thing not right.
He'd have to fix that.
.
.
Seemed like so much trouble was the understatement of the year.
"And why would Xing Cai be climbing the peach tree?"
Guan Ping fidgeted under the three brother's heavy gaze.
"Because… I… because I provoked her." He finally said. Then he dropped his head in the direction of Lord Zhang Fei. "Forgive me, Uncle. When I teased her, I didn't think she'd actually go and do it—"
"DIDN'T THINK INDEED!" Zhang Fei almost roared, causing the hair at the back of Guan Ping's neck stand. "MY DAUGHTER? NOT RISE UP TO YOUR FOOLISH CHALLENGE? OF COURSE SHE'D GO AND PROVE YOU WRONG! AND NOW HER KNEES ARE WOUNDED BEYOND REPAIR AND—" insert profanities here. "I COULD KILL YOU!"
Guan Ping, with his head still bowed, braced himself for death. Here dies Guan Ping, 12-year-old scrapper of girls' knees.
"Be calm, my brother." Lord Liu Bei said suddenly, a hand on Zhang Fei's shoulder. "Young Guan Ping has made his peace and will accept his punishment. But let's not forget that your daughter has some fault for falling prey to his taunting."
Zhang Fei gave a great sniff of discontent before turning away, mumbling something indistinct. Then gruffly, he said to the 12-year-old bowing his head to him. "Head up boy, and listen up.
"You have my thanks for bringing my daughter back, but her getting hurt because of some silly challenge is not to happen again." Zhang Fei said firmly. "Thank clear?"
Guan Ping nodded, fist clenched tightly. "Yes, Uncle."
Satisfied, Zhang Fei gave one last gruff before somewhat storming out of the room.
Guan Ping breathed in. He hadn't noticed he had stopped breathing. Turning to his father this time, he said, "I'm sorry to have shamed you, father."
To this, Guan Yu smiled a bit. He said that there is no shame in bringing back the injured, and that it was Xing Cai's own fault to have been baited. But it didn't excuse him from provoking her in the first place. Guan Ping was then punished with two weeks of grounds work.
Shu elites, including their children, didn't normally do any chores and left them to the servants, but chores, Guan Yu believed, built character. So Guan Ping accepted it like a man, bowed to both his father and Lord Liu Bei and left the hall.
Guan Ping made a beeline for his chambers, not allowing his shoulders to slump until he was in the privacy of his own room. He wasn't alone for long, as Xing Cai came barging in. "They gave me kitchen duty!" she cried.
"And I got grounds work." Guan Ping replied, not really surprised by her arrival.
Xing Cai gave a little frustrated huff before sitting down on the foot of his bed. Normally, she would've have just climbed in next to him, but seeing as he was sprawled out on his belly in a defeated manner, Xing Cai just sat by his feet. "I can't believe they punished us. We got scrapes and bruises, isn't that punishment enough?"
At this, Guan Ping bolted up and faced her quickly. Throwing her skirt up to above her knees, he examined the bandages that were already there. ("Stop throwing up my skirt, you idiot!")
"Xing Cai, you got bruises too?" he asked. She looked at him, puzzled.
Throwing her skirt back down, she shook her head. "No! But didn't you?"
This time, Guan Ping was the puzzled one.
Without a word, Xing Cai reached over and touched a portion of his back. Guan Ping, surprised by the pain, drew back. It never occurred to him that he might be hurt too. But then again, he fell off the tree. Of course he never got to see his bruises, but judging by the look on Xing Cai's face when the medic forced his shirt off, it was pretty bad.
Then, without warning, Xing Cai grabbed his hands, afraid to touch anything else, and said, "Guan Ping, you fool. Your back's all bruised but you didn't say anything!"
Guan Ping gave out a laugh. He told her that he didn't even notice until she had pointed them out. And honestly, they weren't that painful.
"Besides," he said, squeezing her hands. "The important thing was getting your knees tended to. A few bruises is nothing."
Then she smacked him for his arrogance, but laughed along with him all the same, with one hand still holding his.
.
.
It was the first time he touched her.
The officers had left hours ago, yet she still stood there at the gate, eyes on the horizon that had taken her father and uncles away. Guan Ping, from his spot at a window, watched her solemn figure with amazement. She really hadn't moved since.
"Shouldn't someone go get her?" Guan Ping found himself asking the servant presently tidying nearby.
The servant woman glanced out the window as well before shrugging. "Lady Xing Cai always does this when the lords leave for battle." Apparently, many have tried coaxing her to come back in once the officers have left, but Xing Cai doesn't move. Even her own mother cannot convince her. So they let her be, getting back inside with her own time. Guan Ping was advised to do so as well.
And he would have too, content with just watching this cold girl from a distance.
But then it started to rain.
"Uhm, Xing Cai?" he said, coming up to her by the gate. Somehow, he wasn't surprised that even when the rain came down, she still didn't move. But he didn't care for tradition if it meant her getting a cold. So there he stood, in the rain, holding out an umbrella for the girl who had been nothing but unwelcoming to him.
She didn't say anything at first, not even acknowledging his arrival, or the fact that while she now stood under his umbrella while he soaked under the rain. Guan Ping, exasperated, was about to give up when,
"We can share the umbrella." She said, quietly, looking down at the puddles forming at her feet.
That caught him off guard, but stepped under the umbrella anyway. He's never stood so close to her before. And as the rain continued to come down, the two children of Shu stood there in silence. Then,
"I hate war." She said, eyes still at the gray horizon. "It takes my father away."
Guan Ping nodded, understanding. After all, his father had left as well. "They'll come back."
Then she looked at him, for the first time without any anger or malice, just pure confusion. She asked why he was so sure, when in battle, anything can happen. How can stand there, confident that their loved ones would return? To this, he shrugged. "Because it's the best thing we can do right now. To just have faith that they will come back."
And from the way she looked at him, Guan Ping knew he had won her over.
Maybe that's all it took, what she's been lacking and looking for all this time. Someone who understands. In the same boat. Someone just as mad at the wars for talking away their fathers and brothers, but at the same time, not being able to wait going off and joining them—just to finally end all the fighting.
It was the first time he ever touched her, when he put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, stirring her from the gate and leading her back inside.
She supposed this boy, this Guan Ping, wasn't all that bad. She could see it in his eyes that he already loved his father, even though having known him for such a short time. And she could tell that he had every intention on joining him soon. Therefore, joining her. Because she was going to fight too someday.
Inside, he shook his wet hair and showered her with stray droplets. "Hey--! Stop, idiot!"
He didn't and continued on shaking his head, driven by the sound of their shared laughter.
.
.
i could be all that you needed,
if you'd just let me try.