America and the Turtle
Author's Notes: This is a Hetalia one-shot. Credit to Shadowdancer112 for coming up with the idea (you rock man) so yeah, read, review, and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia
England bought a turtle.
It was a small turtle.
And very green.
He smelled like daisies.
England named him William.
"England! You totally gotta see this!"
America burst into the room.
His eyes fell on England's lap.
"What the hell is that green thing on your lap, dude? It looks kinda gross." America looked a little puzzled, wondering why England would waste his time with something so small and green.
"Don't be so obnoxious, America!" England stood up, holding William in his hands. "His name is,"
Two second pause.
"William."
America stood there with a blank look on his face, before a big grin spread on his face.
"Dude that turtle is so cool!" America went into a fanboy frenzy. "Where did you get it! I totally want one dude! I'll name him Bill! He can be my sidekick!"
"Stop yelling, dammit!" England raised his voice over America's own loud voice. "You're scaring,"
Two second pause. "William. He doesn't like your yelling!"
America nodded. "Whatever dude, I'm going to McDonalds."
America left the room.
What is he up to? England thought suspiciously
America kidnapped William.
He sat him on the table.
He poked him.
"Dude," America said. "Do something badass or something,"
William looked at America.
America looked at William.
"America what on earth are you doing?!" England suddenly burst into the room, face red with anger. "What are you doing with,"
Two second pause. "William?"
"Oh dude, this turtle thing is lame." America yawned.
England swooped down and rescued William from the clutches of America.
"William is far too civil to be acquainted with the likes of you, America," England said. "Come,"
Two second pause, "William, let us go."
England left.
America stood there on the spot.
"Dude, what the hell is up with the dramatic silence thing anyway? It's totally lame!"
"WILLIAM!" England glared into the middle of the pond. "GET OUT OF THERE! YOU'LL GET WET!"
America popped up behind England.
"Dude, I think turtles can swim." America said, yawning.
"I'm coming to get you," Two second pause, "William!"
"Enough with the dramatic silence England!"
But England ignored America, and went into the water.
He waded the bank, a little afraid of getting his clothes murky.
But he had to save William.
It was his destiny.
"I'm coming, my precious, civil "
Slip!
England fell into a deep hole into the water, caught by surprise.
He started kicking and splashing to keep his head above water.
"America!" He cried out. "Help! Don't just stand there and eat hamburgers!"
"Dude, don't dis my hamburgers!" America stuffed another burger into his mouth.
England cursed as he felt himself sink deeper into the water, when he felt a tiny tug on his hair.
Finally, England thought, holding his breath as he felt America drag him out of the water.
The second he made it back to the surface, he coughed and spluttered.
"Thanks, America," England grumbled, bright red with frustration.
"What for?" America stood on the other side of the lake, still munching on his hamburgers.
"Err . . ." England paused, unsure what was going on.
Then William crawled out from behind.
England's heart leapt with joy.
"Oh William!" He said, picking up the turtle, "You do care!"
William looked at England, but England was too happy to notice.
"America what the bloody hell have you done with William now!"
England stormed into America's office.
America sat on his chair.
Feet on the desk.
One arm cradling a doggy bag of hamburgers.
The other cradling William.
"What are you doing with,"
Two second pause. "William?"
"No, England," America said, mouth full of a chewed up burger. "It's Willis."
"Don't be absurd!"
"You don't be absurd, dude!" America wolfed down another burger. "This guy is totally cool once you get to know him!"
England was speechless.
"That is NOT his name." America said, copying England's accent. "His name is,"
America watched his watch.
"Willis."
England was devastated.
William shrugged.
THE END!