You Found Me-The Fray

I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad
Where the West was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where've you been?" He said, "Ask anything."

Callie walked up to the mahogany colored casket and looked over it. Her face was drained of any emotion; it seemed she had no life to her, like the walking dead. Callie looked down at the calm, peaceful body lying in the casket. She knew it was her mother, but part of Callie didn't want to believe it. Just three days ago she was on the phone with her mother, having their weekly conversations. They talked for at least two hours, about life, work, home, family…everything and anything. To Callie her mother sounded fine, and even when she asked her mother said she felt great. So how come she was dead?

It came to such a shock to everyone when they got the call that Maria Torres had passed away in her sleep. Everyone knew she was getting older, just pushing 72, but no one knew she would go so quickly, especially Callie.

Callie was standing next to the casket, showing no emotion when Mark walked up to her and gave her a tug to walk. The Latina shook her head not wanting to leave her mother alone. Her mother was always there for her, never let her go. Callie felt so bad having to leave her mother, especially after all her mother did for her.

Growing up family was the most important thing in Callie's life. Callie has three older brothers, Chris, Mike, and Robert. Callie loved her brothers, even if she was the youngest and got picked on the most. Her family was very religious, but that never got in the way of their love for Callie, even if she was gay. Her mother was always there, from every broken bone to every broken heart. Maria Torres never let her daughter feel alone or scared.

Mark finally pulled again and she let him lead her to the door. The drive to the cemetery was long and painful for Callie, the closer they got the more pain Callie felt. When they got to the cemetery it was raining and it was very miserable, just like the way Callie felt. Not in the last three days had Callie cried, or even said a word. Callie seemed to have had just shut down. She would eat very little if anything and she didn't talk nor cry. It hurt all her friends to see her like this. She was never the same after Erica left and when her mother died it was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

After they lowered the casket and said a short payer everyone left the cemetery, everyone but Callie. Callie stayed and just stood there for what seemed like forever. Mark had told her to come and even tried to pull her to come but nothing worked. After watching Callie stare at the ground, it seemed like she wasn't going anywhere. So Mark told her when she was ready to come home to call him and he would come and pick her up. He swiftly walked away and left Callie alone with her thoughts.

Callie couldn't take holding her feelings in anymore. She dropped to her knees and began to cry. She had so much anger and pain stored up inside her it all just came rushing out.

"Why did you leave? You told me you would never leave me! Never let me feel sad or hurt as long as you could help it! Why must you put me through this….why?" Callie was on her hands and knees crying, her mother promised her she would be there. Callie didn't understand her mother never broke promises.

"After Erica left you said that no one would leave me again. That you would make sure of that. But you left me! And now I have nothing anymore, you left us all! You left me; you left me when you knew I was still hurting! You promised…you promised never to leave…you promised." Callie couldn't take the pain of losing people, of people walking out of her life anymore. "You promised me. You promised me you would be there when no one else is. So where are you now mom? Why did you leave me alone?"


Where were you, when everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
To the corner of 1st and Amistad

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

It was now pouring out and Callie had made no effort of moving. Suddenly she felt someone kneeling besides her rubbing her back. It scared Callie at first but she soon fell onto the blondes lap and cried. It didn't take much for Callie to know it was Erica besides her. Erica still had the same shampoo, vanilla-lavender, which also matched her body spray.

Callie sat up and threw herself at Erica, wrapping her arms around the blonde's neck and pulling her close. Callie also got a hold of Erica's shirt, clinging to it and not letting go. Erica ran her fingers up and down Callie's back trying to sooth her. The slightest body movement from Erica made Callie hold on tighter, making sure Erica wouldn't leave or walk away again. It broke Erica's heart to see the brunette like this, so fragile and helpless. It also hurt know that she had something to do with Callie's pain.


But in the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one who's ever known
Who I am, who I'm not and who I wanna to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

When it started to get cold out Erica pulled Callie away from her and saw how broken down she was, how depressed and tired she looked. Erica looked into the brown eyes of the younger women standing in front of her and pushed a strain of hair behind the raven's ear. "Hey, let's go back to your place, get you into a shower and eat something. Okay?" Callie couldn't speak so she just nodded and let Erica lead her to the blonde's car.

The drive to Callie's was quite but not awkward. When they arrived at the apartment Callie tried a few times to work with the key but was shaking so much that she was not succeeding. Erica quickly jumped in and took the key from Callie, putting it in the slot and letting them both enter the warm apartment. Erica then helped Callie out of her jacket and laid it on the couch. Walking to the kitchen to make some dinner for Callie, Erica called into the living room. "Callie why don't you take a hot shower and by the time you're out I will have dinner ready for you?"

"Okay" Callie's voice was just above a whisper and the word came out almost like a squeak. She slowing walked into the bathroom and began to strip. Taking her shower she let the hot water wash away some of the pain and hurt that had been built up in the last few days. Maybe even the pain that has been built up in the years Erica was gone too. Slowly getting out Callie rubbed the steam off the mirror and looked into the eyes of her own reflection. Callie did not recognize the person she has become. She knew it was her but at the same time she didn't. It didn't look or feel like her, not the old Callie. That Callie was happy and exciting. But that Callie was lost and replaced with this new Callie that was slow, depressed, and worn out.

Walking into the kitchen Callie smelt something amazing, getting up onto the chair by the counter Erica put the plait in front of her. In front of Callie was a plate filled with chicken and Spanish rice, Callie's favorite, it made her heart flutter that after all these years Erica still remembered her favorite food. Erica took the seat next to her and they both ate in silence. Erica was the first to speak up. "Uh, Mark called; he wanted to know how you were doing. I think it would be a good idea if you called him later or tomorrow just to let him know how you are." Callie looked at Erica with a questioning look that made Erica a little uncomfortable. "What?"

"Nothing," Callie looked down at her plate and played with the rice, "was Mark surprised to hear you pick up the phone?"

"No, actually he was the one who called me and told me what happened. After he told me how broken down you were I took the first flight to Seattle, so yeah he kind of knew I was here."

"Wait, Mark called you?" Callie was so confused; she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Yeah, well apparently one of my colleagues is a good friend of Mark's so when he heard that I was working with his friend he got my information and called me."

"Oh" that was all Callie could say, she was still in such shock of Erica actually being in her apartment with her, Erica being here for 'her'.

When they were done Erica took both the plates and cleaned up the kitchen while Callie went to the living room to watch TV. After what seemed like forever for Callie, Erica joined her on the couch to watch a marathon of NCIS. Around ten o'clock Erica noticed that Callie was half asleep on the couch. The blonde got up and helped Callie into her room and onto the bed. She helped get Callie into a t-shirt and a pair of shorts; then walked over to the dresser to pull out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt for herself. She left for the bathroom to change and when she returned Callie was already asleep in the bed. Erica slipped into the other side and wrapped her arms around the other women's waist to pull her closer. Feeling the warmth of Callie next to her own body, Erica drifted into a deep sleep within no time.


The early morning, the city breaks
And I've been calling for years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never sent me no letters
You got some kind of nerve taking all I want

Callie woke up when the sun's rays hit her eyes. She rolled over and felt something next to her; Callie shot her eyes open to see a bunch of blonde curls. What Callie thought was all a dream soon became reality as the memories from last night flashed through her head. Callie jumped up off the bed and woke Erica up, scaring the blonde half to death.

"Whoa Callie you ok? What's wrong?" Erica rubbed her eyes trying to remove the sleep from them.

Callie looked at Erica funny, and then started to shake her head. "No, no, no! You can't be here! You were never here…you never returned my phone calls, never replied to my texts, nothing! You were never here! You can't be here. You're not here, you left me. You never came back. This is just another dream that I will wake up from soon…" Callie's babbling had made her not realize that Erica had gotten out of bed and walked towards her.

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, Where were you? Where were you?

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

Erica put her hands on both of Callie's shoulders. "Callie, honey, listen to me. I'm here. I'm not leaving anytime soon. I know I haven't spoken to you in seven years but that's because I was scared, scared of still being in love with you. And you know what Callie I am. But being here with you, I'm not scared anymore. And I know I came at a pretty crappy time, but you needed me. I'm here to stay with you Cal. It's not a dream, I'm here and not going anywhere."

Callie started getting hysterical again and it was hard for Erica to understand her. "I…You…You left…and…and there is so much…..You left me! And I didn't stop you…." Erica pulled Callie into a tight embrace. She pulled Erica tighter not wanting to let go again, as she cried into her shoulder.

"Shhhh, baby we will figure this out. Don't worry. We will get though this. All of it." Erica kissed the top of her head and Callie pulled her closer if that was even possible. For what seemed like the first time in forever Callie didn't feel lost. She felt found, found by the one she truly loved.


Why'd you have to wait, to find me, to find me?