Here's a short piece that I wanted to do to try and kill the writers block I've been having with my Stargate stories the last month or so, and even the work I do on Bones stories hasn't helped, sadly enough. Writers block is a horrible, and frustrating, occurrence that I'm sure we all get from time to time, but it's even more depressing when you have a story, or stories in progress like myself, all mapped out, but the words simply come out on paper to get from point A to point D. The B and C seem to be missing. This story is inspired by my friend, and yours, Alimoo, who is such a great fan of not only Stargate, but RDA and has added greatly to the Stargate fandom. I hope you enjoy this one, Alison. I had fun writing it, and hope that it will get me over the hump and allow me to continue writing on my other Stargate stories. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
One Week Ago, Briefing Room, SGC
Colonel Samantha Carter walked into the main briefing room of the SGC to find Daniel, Teal'c, Mitchell, and Vala sitting at the table with Lieutenant General Jack O'Neill, her husband of one year. A year ago she finally married the man of her dreams, on the day he was promoted to Lieutenant General and transferred Homeworld Security to Cheyenne Mountain where he now not only was the Director of Homeworld Security, but also the SGC Commanding General. Major General Landry had been offered the opportunity to be a direct liaison with the President and principal Intelligence Officer for the Stargate Program, reporting to the President for the former and to Jack for the latter. The pace and activities of commanding the SGC for the war with the Ori and the immediate aftermath had been draining and this had given him the chance to stay in the military and not retire as he'd been contemplating.
"I do too," Jack said to Daniel.
"Do not," Daniel responded in kind. He smiled. He knew he had Jack in a fib of grand proportions for once. Usually it was damn hard to tell, but this one was too much even for Jack.
"What are they arguing about now?" Sam asked Mitchell as she sat down next to him.
"The General says he knows Richard Dean Anderson and Daniel says he doesn't," Mitchell replied. He was always amused at the banter between the General and Jackson.
Sam sighed. If only he really did know RDA. The man was her favorite actor and she had the entire run of MacGyver on DVD, plus a scrap book devoted to the man. Don't even mention all the posters, pictures, and her membership in his fan club.
"Wouldn't it be wonderful if General Jack actually did know him?" Vala said in her most sinful voice.
"I'd probably dies of shock if that one was true," Sam said in a dreamy tone. Just the thought of her man knowing RDA was enough to make her almost swoon. "After I killed him, of course, for keeping that a secret." If Jack, knowing how much she would kill to meet RDA, did know the man, then she would be on the warpath. That was one secret that was too important to keep a secret.
"Yet again, Space Monkey, you don't believe your ever loving commanding officer and best friend," Jack sighed dramatically. "Oh well, there's more important things to be discussing this morning now that Carter's here. Hey, Carter! Ready to dazzle us with all your technobabble?"
Sam smirked at him and used the desk control to turn on the main monitor. "As you can see..."
Present, Jack and Sam's House, Colorado Springs
Sam was returning home after a day of painting at Daniel and Vala's new home that Daniel had just purchased. Jack had planned to come for part of the day, but he had been called to the SGC and then he just barely had time to pick up his friend at the airport. He hadn't said who it was, but he said it was someone he'd known for almost thirty years. She was showing up in ratty old jeans which were splattered with paint, a sweat shirt which was also covered in paint splatters, and her hair was a mess. To top it all off she had no makeup on, and was sweating profusely. She didn't see Jack's pickup, but that didn't mean anything. It could be parked in the garage.
Grabbing the pizza she'd picked up for them, which she'd decided would be easier than Jack trying to cook for the three of them, she made her way to the front door. She unlocked and opened it, walking right in. She heard voices and cursed, as she didn't want to be seen like this, but now she had no choice. It would be rude to simply ignore them for the half hour or so that it would take to get presentable.
"Jack?" she called out. "I picked up a pizza on the way home. I hope your friend likes meat lovers."
She walked out into the living room and stopped dead in her tracks, the pizza box slipping from her suddenly limp hand. It couldn't be! There standing in her living room was THE Richard Dean Anderson! Oh my God!
"Carter!" Jack said when the pizza fell to the floor, tumbling out of the box and making a mess. "Sorry, Rick," he said to the other man. "She's usually pretty calm about anything." He looked at his wife. "Carter? Carter?? You hoo, Carter??? You in there?"
For one of the only times in her life, Sam Carter fell into the old, and somewhat ridiculous, stereotypes about starstruck women. She right away remembered how she was dressed, who was standing in front of her in her living room, and she screamed in horror. Turning quickly, she hightailed it out of the living room, straight into their bedroom. She whipped out her cell phone and pressed 2 on the speed dial.
"Vala? Get your best clothes on and some fresh makeup! Richard Dean Anderson is right now in my living room! Get your autograph book and any pictures you want signed and get over here!" she said rapidly and then clicked it shut.
She tore through her closet to find something decent to wear, all the while cursing Jack. Of all the times to spring the fact that he had been telling the truth about something so outrageous, it had to be now. He knew RDA! RDA was in their house! And what happens? She turns up unaware looking like a bag lady or something equally lousy! Jack was so going to get it when this was over. But for now, there were more important things to do. Rushing into the shower, she took the fastest one ever, then managed to dry off and put on her makeup, also in record time. When she left the bathroom, she discovered that the outfit she picked out was not good enough, so she whizzed through the closet again and got something else. Dark grey slacks and a cream colored turtleneck sweater, some minimal jewelry to highlight her facial features, and some black flats to finish the ensemble.
Once she was presentable, she went into her closet and opened her large box of MacGyver and RDA paraphernalia. She had to smile at that one. Jack hated MacGyver, and come to think of it had always disparaged RDA, but now she knew better. He knew the man. Of course he'd downplay it all. He was a master at that, after all. Don't let anyone know too much and all that nonsense. When Jack had, for one of the really rare times, put his foot down and said that she could not have an RDA/MacGyver shrine in their home, she'd gotten her revenge. His Simpson's shrine, with special emphasis on Homer, bit the dust and was now collecting dust in a box of it's own right next to her RDA/MacGyver stuff. Jack had actually spent nearly an hour standing in front of the box of Simpson's collectibles apologizing to them individually for the lack of respect shown. He'd almost had heart failure when he'd come home and went into the former Shrine room and found it bare. Now the room was her home lab where she could get more work done without staying at the base all those insane hours like she used to.
Sam pulled out several great pictures of RDA, and then a full poster of the man without a shirt on, which Jack really disliked. She paused a moment and realized, not knowing why she never noticed it before, that Jack and RDA looked an awful lot alike. Shaking her head, she grabbed her Complete Series DVD set for MacGyver. He may not want to autograph every disc, but he could at least do the outside box. Finally she got out her autograph book. Now she was ready. No thanks to Jack! MEN! They just didn't understand important things like this.
Just then the doorbell rang. That had to be Vala. She better get out there and make sure that the former Space Pirate didn't cause any trouble. Vala may be her best female friend, after the late Dr. Janet Frasier, but the woman was really a wild one who couldn't be trusted. Sam had introduced Vala to the wonderful world of RDA and from the first second Vala had wondered what he'd be like in bed. Typical Vala. Not that Sam hadn't wondered the same exact thing, but from the time she'd met Jack twelve years before her focus for her sexual fantasies had centered on a very sexy former Black Ops Air Force Colonel, later General. The fantasies definitely hadn't done the real Jack O'Neill justice in the sex department. The man could play her body like a violin virtuoso and put all the other men she'd ever been with to shame.
"Sam?" Vala aid as she entered the bedroom. The look on Vala's face was priceless. She looked like she had died and gone to heaven.
"I thought you might like to come and meet our guest," Sam said deadpan.
"I would have ripped your heart out if you had kept him all to yourself," Vala retorted with a smile.
"Got your autograph book?" Sam asked.
Vala helot it up, plus a larger manila envelope. "That and a few delicious pictures of our favorite star," she grinned. "So it seems the General was telling the truth," she observed.
"He is so going to get it," Sam said a little darkly. "I meet my favorite star for the first time ever looking exactly like I did when I left your place, and carrying a pizza!"
"Make him bunk on the couch," Vala suggested.
"Oh no," Sam replied as she gathered up her 'necessities'. "I'm going to give RDA the master bedroom and since we don't have a guest room anymore, I'll take the couch and Jack can have the old field cot to sleep on. We'll see how repentant he is in the morning!"
Meanwhile, Jack was trying to explain the two women his friend had just witnessed.
"Sam's usually not like this, Rick," he started. "And Vala? She pretty much a free spirit. She's been giving Daniel a few lessons in how to loosen up. Lord knows I tried for the last twelve years, but she has something that I don't."
"Sex appeal?" Rick teased. He'd seen the looks in Sam's and Vala's faces before with a lot of fans. It was something you got used to after a number of years in the business and a popular television series under your belt. It was actually flattering in a way. He tried to interact with his fans as much as possible.
"I've got plenty of that little brother, just not interested in it having any effect on Space Monkey, or any other guy for that matter," Jack retorted with a shudder. Being sexy for Space Monkey? EWW GROSS! No way, no how!
"BROTHER?!?!?!" Sam said loudly, with a slack jawed Vala right beside her.
Jack gulped loudly. He knew he was going to be in some serious shit. "Didn't I mention that?" he asked innocently. "I was an orphan, Sam, and about thirty years ago I was told I have a younger brother. I searched him out and it turned out to be Rick here. Cool, huh?"
"I've known you for twelve years, been married to you for one year after dating you for two years before that, and I only just NOW find out that you have a younger brother who happens to be the best actor in the whole world and someone I've wanted to meet most of my life since I was a teenager and he was in a soap opera???" she said in a very raised tone of voice. "We are going to have a little chat once our guest goes home, Jonathan J. O'Neill!"
Jack knew that that conversation was one that he'd rather miss, but he sucked it up and simply said "Yes, Dear."
"You really know how to get in trouble, Jack," Rick said with a laugh. "Don't be too hard on him Samantha," he said, using her full first name. "We don't see each other too often, and he really did want this visit to be a surprise for you as a birthday present."
Sam looked at Jack. Her birthday was in two days, so the time frame fit. Meeting RDA was her birthday present? The it hit her. RDA was her brother-in-law! Oh my God! She barely kept herself from hyperventilating.
"Surprise!" Jack said when she looked at him. He hoped that he could maybe rack up some brownie points to stave off the worst of her coming ire once Rick left in a couple of days. Sam was a full colonel now, and having been one himself, Jack knew what full colonels were like when ticked off. Oh well, seeing Sam starstruck, and Vala practically drooling over his younger brother was pretty good entertainment. "So? Anyone for some Simpson's? I just picked up the latest season set on DVD?" he grinned.
Sam and Vala groaned. Rick laughed and turned to the girls.
"Nothing is more important than the Simpson's," he said with a grin. "However you could both sit on either side of me and I can sign your pictures and autograph books while we watch some episodes. How does that sound?" Before he could even finish the last sentence both women were on the couch with a very small space made for him in between them. Obviously some major cuddling time was called for with their favorite star. He sat between them and looked up at Jack who was frowning.
"Don't I get to cuddle with someone?" Jack protested immaturely.
"Sorry, Jack, you're not my type," Rick joked.
"No shit," Jack snapped. "I'll never understand what all those fans see in you. It's a freakin' show fercryinoutloud!"
"Just for that heresy, Jack, you get to sleep on that old Army cot while Rick's here," Sam said with an evil grin.
"Carter, you're just mean when you're starstruck," Jack said with a pout as he settled into his favorite easy chair when the first episode began.
"I know, Vala," Sam said excitedly. "We can have a MacGyver marathon while Ricks here and he can talk about the shows we watch!"
"I should have stayed an orphan," Jack sulked low enough so no one could hear him. Yep. Carter starstruck was not a pretty site. Especially if he wound up on an old Army cot at night. He turned his attention to the screen so he wouldn't miss a really good episode. Maybe a couple of hours of Simpson's could make him feel better. Then he thought about the upcoming MacGyver marathon. Nope. Nothing was going to make him feel better until Rick was on his merry way back to California. Life was so unfair at times! Maybe next year he should just give her flowers and chocolates for her birthday. That and a new laptop with all the latest gizmos. At least then he wouldn't be sleeping on a cot!
A/N: There it is. I wanted it short, and it was a little bit of fun to indulge in. As noted above this one is for Alimoo. I figured it would be fun to see what would be the reaction of Carter if RDA was Jack's brother, as opposed to MacGyver being related, or even being Jack himself. Hope you all enjoyed it. Gregg.
A/N 2: I'm going to sit down with Mitchell's Day and see if anything comes out on paper to continue with that one. Hopefully this little exercise with lift the writers block.