She sighs once while she was sewing a dress in her new city of dreams, well at least she thought it was a dream, but it wasn't. It was more like a nightmare, because everyday she went outside and looked at all the people passing her by she just needed to think back to Manhattan, to the Upper East Side and how she just left everyone behind.. maybe for good, but it wasn't good for her. She couldn't get the people out of her mind, especially not him. She just left. She didn't see how she could fit in after all the things that happened. How could she do that? How could she lose her virginity to someone who's not worth it? To someone who didn't love her? How could she? She always wanted for it to be special, she always thought it would be with her prince.. But it was the devil she lost it to and she would never get it back. She couldn't deal with the hurt and disappointment in their faces, she couldn't take it. She needed someone who understood, who listened to her, but no one did. They all just judged her, without knowing anything for real. But she didn't deserve it any other way, did she? She really screwed up big time..
**FLASHBACK**
„Nate?", Jenny looked around the apartment, but no one seemed to be there, the lights were all out and silence filled every room. She sighed and made her way to the kitchen counter to pour herself a glass of water. She stood there, drinking and thinking about many things, in fact she didn't even know why she went here. She could have gone to Eric, but her foots took her where she was now, to Chuck and Nate's penthouse. She wanted to go as she finally heard some noise, then a light going on in the hallway. „Hello?", she asked while she made her way to see who was coming. She shook her head slightly as she saw Chuck coming inside. He must have been drinking, she could definitely tell by the way he walked and finally by the way he talked. His voice was slurry, even though it still had his special pronouncation in it, something Chuck Bass seemed to never lose.. „What pleasure! Waiting for Nathaniel, little J?", he asked her and she nodded her head slightly as he began to laugh. „You really think you have a chance with him, don't you?" She simply looked down to the floor and held back the answer she wanted to give him. To be honest, she actually just wanted to go. She didn't want to see Chuck anymore, so she gave him a nod and walked past him, but he held her back. „Come on, let's drink something to lost love, lost friendship, lost everything!" Jenny looked at him puzzled and wanted to refuse, but she couldn't. Did it matter if she sat alone at home or drank something with Chuck? No, it didn't. Her dad couldn't care less where she was, the same counted for her brother. So she gave him a nod and even smiled as she made her way back to the kitchen where she began to pour for Chuck and then herself various glasses of Scotch. It was nice, at least she wasn't alone. Jenny didn't want to be alone, she had enough from it. She wanted people around her, people who loved her – but no one seemed to do that, no one loved her, but she learnt to accept it. And she was happy, when she wasn't alone.. Jenny couldn't remember how much she drank, she couldn't remember how the evening took his end, but she remembered that she woke up alone in Chuck's bed, still feeling fingertips all over her skin..
**FLASHBACK END**
She closed her eyes and tried to forget what she just remembered again. But the memories were haunting her, every time she tried to sleep, every time she had nothing to do, every time she thought back to the Upper East Side.. And she didn't even know what happened for sure. She just left, she couldn't take their judgmental eyes anymore. Why didn't she ask what happened? Why did she make conclusions out of the blue? She hadn't just ruined her own life with that.. „Jenny? Are you okay?", she heard the voice of her mother slightly, forced herself to smile and nodded her head. „Yeah, I am.." She looked up at her mother and bit her lower lip slightly. „Do you.. Do you think that I could visit dad sometime soon? I really miss him.. and Dan.." Her mother stroke her cheek and sighed. „It's hard to be away from them, isn't it? I will call him and see if you can come.." Jenny thanked her mother who left right after it with the guarantee to call Rufus. Jenny on the other hand tried to concentrate on her new design again, but it didn't really work..