My internet or something would not work because I couldn't review, access PMs, post this, or do anything at all. I'm sorry, guys. But on a side note, merry (late) Christmas to those who celebrate! Enjoy a quick Peddie oneshot I slapped together.

About this oneshot: it's rushed, in Patricia's POV, and just...weird.

Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis.

"Yacker! Yacker, wake up!" Eddie yells right into my ear far too early in the morning. I crack open an eye and see his face, grinning and idiotic like always, staring right back at me.

"What the hell, Weasel?" I grumble.

"Get up. It's Christmas!" Eddie rubs his hands together eagerly, reminding me of a little kid.

"No. It's cold," I say. That much is true; the cold is biting my face and I hurry to heap my blanket over my head. The idiot doesn't relent, however, and the blanket is swished off my face.

"I turned the heater on. Come on, it's Christmas!" Eddie pouts, looking at me sadly as if that would make me cave.

But fuck that.

"No. It's too early," I counter.

"Aw, come on, it's barely seven in the morning. Any normal day you'd be leaving for work at this time, and you'd be up like two hours before."

"Exactly. So let me sleep in when I don't have work," I bury my face back into my blanket.

"Nooo. We have to celebrate Christmas early. Don't you want to see what presents you got?"

"What are you, five?" I mutter through the blanket, which I know is a low blow, but I'm dead tired.

"I'm serious." Eddie complains like it hurts him to wait. Then again, it's Eddie. It probably does.

"Are you going to make me breakfast?" I ponder the situation.

"Are you going to get up?" he mocks my tone.

"Only if you make me breakfast."

"Deal," Eddie's grinning like a maniac now and less like an idiot. "Get up now! It's-"

"-Christmas. I get it." I finish as I kick off the blanket, letting the slowly warming air greet me. Eddie bounds out of our room to our living room, and I shuffle after him, still groggy.

"Look," Eddie gestures to the tree, smiling at me a little mockingly. "Santa was here."

"Uh-huh." I nod, and I take in the small tree and its few presents. "Are we going to open these right now?"

"Why wait?" Eddie's arms are around me now, and he's too damn happy for my liking. He's like a child more than ever now.

"Alright, enough. You're freaking me out. Just take a bloody present." I say, and he does so.

"It's from me to you," he hands me a gift and picks up the one that I'd gotten him. "Aw, Yacker, you shouldn't have."

"I know," I allow a small smile his way. "But I did, so be happy." He snorts like I'm impossible before he rips away at the present and I unwrap mine.

It's a simple necklace. A thin chain holds a pendant with a pair of lips on it.

"In case you need an extra mouth to yack," Eddie explains, and I roll my eyes. Besides the necklace, he gives me a few gift cards and such for places he knows I'd rather shop for myself at, and random candy and a weird stuffed giraffe.

"The giraffe is for what, exactly?" I ask as I unwrap it.

"For you, duh," Eddie grins and it takes all my self-control not to hit his arm. He holds the gift I got him out to me suddenly. "Thanks for this, by the way. It's awesome."

It's a football with some player's autograph, which I found kinda stupid, but it's Eddie. He really believes the weirdest things are awesome.

"It cost me a lot for some guy to scribble over it, so make sure you don't lose it." I say, and he grins.

"Well, it's the coolest thing I've ever gotten."

"That's nice. Now you owe me breakfast," I remind him, and he huffs.

"I was hoping you'd forget with my awesome presents."

"No luck."

"Fine, I'll get to it," Eddie leaves into the kitchen. "I'll make some hot chocolate in the meantime. Why don't you Skype Joy?"

"Yeah, I told her I would," I walk over to the computer in a small, open office room that's next to the kitchen. I find she's online, and she accepts my call soon enough.

"Hi," Joy smiles as her face comes up on the screen. She's eating a candy cane, and on her head are the weirdest reindeer ears.

"You look stupid." I say bluntly.

"Blame Fabian. He's totally into Christmas." Joy says as she crunches her last bite of candy. "He's wearing the Santa hat. Fabian!"

"Yeah?" Fabian joins her. "Oh, hi, Patricia. Where's Eddie?"

"Making me breakfast," I say simply.

"Honestly, you must be a pain to live with." Fabian chuckles.

"Yeah, but you guys have certain things you have to live up to. He's just doing his job," I say. "Speaking of that, when are you going to grow a pair and ask Joy to marry you?"

"Patricia!" Joy exclaims, and she turns red.

"Uh-I-" Fabian tries to form words, but he cannot. He's just as red as she is. "I-I think I'll go check on the chocolate..." He leaves hurriedly.

"Great, you scared him away." Joy sighs. "Honestly, I've been wondering the same thing."

"Maybe you should just propose to him." I suggest.

"No way. He's the guy, and I need to know he's commited to me."

"Good point, anti-feminist," I smile. "So, those hats...kinky."

"No. Patricia, you're horrible." Joy's cheeks flare at the implication.

"Who's horrible?" Eddie pokes his head into the room.

"Your wife," Joy hurries to say.

"I've known that." Eddie jokes, and I smack his arm.

"You're both ganging up on me." I complain.

"In all honesty, you would need two people to keep you in line," Eddie says, and he presses a kiss to my temple. I shove him away at the contact, and he grins like he knew I would do that.

"I don't need to be kept in line." I remind him.

"I know," he says, and he walks away.

"So," Joy clears her throat, "how are things in America?"

"Dreadfully boring," I admit. "How is everyone?"

"They're great. Willow, Amber and Alfie live together; it's kind of awkward to visit them," Joy shares. "Plus, Mick's been courting KT. It's weird."

"'I'll say," I nod. "So, Alfie ended up with who now?"

"I...I don't know. He spends time with both Willow and Amber so much, and he doesn't really show affection to either when I'm there," Joy scrunches her nose in thought. "Maybe he's with neither."

"Who would've thought Alfie would get two girls?" I lean forward slightly, and Joy's face breaks into a smile.

"Yes, I never saw that coming," she shivers like it's scary before changing the subject. "Mara and Jerome are together."

"You knew it would happen eventually," I snort.

"I guess so. But it's still cute." Joy smiles.

"So you have no bitter feelings about it?" I ask.

"Are you kidding? Jerome was a total sweetheart and all, but he was so not my type," says Joy.

"And I suppose geeky boys in Santa hats are." I tease.

"I have no shame," Joy shrugs. "So, then, what's new over there?"

"Nothing," I sigh. "I kinda want to go home."

"You should. You guys can crash at our place." Joy offers.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," I grin. "I like being here, though. The accents are hilarious, and I can tease Eddie about it."

"Wouldn't he be the one teasing you? I mean, his accent isn't the funny one anymore."

"Nope, his accent is still funny," I shake my head. "I hope I don't get an American accent. That would be horrible."

"Only you," Joy teases. "Whoops, I've got to go. I think Fabian somehow is burning down our kitchen when I gave him the task of making hot chocolate."

"Your boyfriend's an idiot." I snicker.

"So is yours." Joy reminds me. "Okay, bye Patricia."

"Bye," I say as she hangs up. I sit still in the chair afterwards, pondering what she had suggested. Going home would be nice. My friends, Piper, and even my parents...it all sounds wonderful.

"Hey, what's with your bored expression? It's Christmas!" Eddie comes up behind me, tugging at my hair playfully.

"No matter how many times you say that, it's not going to change my demeanor." I roll my eyes.

"I know, but I can try," he grins like he's accomplished something before he shoves me off the chair.

"Hey!" I sputter, and he takes my seat.

"My turn." Eddie isn't fazed at my protest as he logs onto YouTube.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I get up, leaning over his chair to look.

"It's time for Christmas music, duh." Eddie says, and he starts up "Winter Wonderland".

"Ugh, you're so stupid." I roll my eyes.

"Come on, Yacker, dance with me," Eddie jumps up and grabs me by my waist as the lyrics start. "Sleigh bells ring, are you listening..."

"Stop singing. Your breath reeks." I complain, but he just holds me tighter and twirls me.

"In the lane, snow is glistening..." Eddie whispers as he leans closer.

"No, let me go already." I wriggle in vain and he just smirks before he leans forward and presses a kiss to my lips. He lets me go afterward, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Killjoy," Eddie remarks.

" Joy's nickname is Joyless." I correct him.

"That's not what I meant," he groans. "Okay, I'm going to get your breakfast. You are still hungry, right?"

"Definitely." I shoo him away, and he goes, bringing me back a plate of pancakes.

"You favorite," Eddie offers the plate like it's heaven on a platter.

"That's your favorite." I roll my eyes.

"True, but it's now yours," Eddie hands me the plate. "Merry Christmas."

"Bah humbug," I stick out my tongue at him.

"Hey, that's an American thing!" Eddie says excitedly.

"No it's not, doofus. The story takes place in England and the author is English," I say pointedly. "Honestly, you Americans are so sure of yourselves."

"Whatever, Harry Potter," Eddie says, but I know he's huffy about the fact that I'm right and he's not. "I think it's snowing outside. Want to look?"

"Don't call me that," I grumble, "and I hate snow."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I do." Eddie says. "Please?"

"Please what?"

"Come to the snow with me." Eddie persists.

"No," I refuse him. "I hate the cold."

"I'll carry you."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Okay," he says, "but only because you insisted."

And he picks me up and takes me outside.

"Put me down!" I snap as he carries me out of the door.

"Okay," he grins down at me, and I hit the hard snow ungracefully.

"I hate you." I growl as I get to my feet, brushing cold snow off my pants.

"I love you, too." Eddie says, and he bends down to make a snowball. "Hey, want to have a snowball fight?"

"No," I say, irritated. "I want to go inside."

"Too bad."

And he throws a snowball at me.

"You're going to regret that," I finally smile, and I bend down to get some snow of my own. Eddie whoops and takes off as I fire snowballs after him. He's not lucky; I have a good aim, and I hit him several times. He fires at me, but his aim sucks, so it's clear I'm winning.

Finally he slips on ice, landing on the packed snowbank, and I stare down at him and laugh. He laughs too, sitting up in the snow after a while.

"I surrender, oh ruthless one," Eddie laughs.

"Good." I smirk. "Now let's go inside."

"What? No way, we haven't made a snowman yet," Eddie complains.

"We don't need-"

"Yes, we do!" Eddie pouts, and he starts to roll snow. "You going to help?"

"No."

"Come on," Eddie says. "Where's your Christmas spirit?"

"It burned in hell," I say darkly.

"Geez," Eddie huffs, and he continues to roll snow, deciding not to press any further, I guess. I lean against the side of our house, staring at him carefully, trying to figure him out. He's so dedicated to this, and it's kind of silly.

I groan before I go over and shove him. He falls back into the snow.

"Hey!" he protests. "What was that for?"

"Let me," I insist, and I take over the rolling. He breaks into a wide grin.

"I knew you had Christmas spirit!"

"Don't push your luck," I order as I continue. "I wouldn't call it spirit. I just think that the faster I get this done, the faster you'll come inside so I can go in, too, because you're obviously too childish for anything."

"That's invalid. You're married to me." Eddie said. "For better or worse, remember?"

"I remember. Being with you clearly highlights the worse."

I roll the ball around until it seems too big. Eddie's already started the next, so I roll the last one, the small one. It actually isn't that bad, except for the fact that I look like I have just rolled out of bed and it's freezing cold outside. Okay, maybe it is bad.

"Here we go. Ready to put it together?" Eddie asks as he lifts the snow ball he's made. I nod and push the larger one a little closer, and he places it on top. We work around it, patting down the snow to make sure it sticks, before I place the top on it.

"There. It's done." I say.

"Not quite," Eddie rushes into the house. Before I can even protest about how it's unfair that he gets to go back inside, he's holding out a carrot. "Can you find any sticks and stones?"

"Why, to break your bones?" I ask before I go digging through the snow. "I found some rocks."

"These seem kind of small," Eddie sighs before he takes them. "Okay, whatever. Sticks?"

I break off branches from a small tree.

"Here."

"Wow, you know, that tree had a life to live." Eddie says sarcastically.

"You won't if you keep talking," I counter, and he just snorts like he's heard it all before.

Which he has.

As I stick the carrot in- which crumbles the snow, by the way- we pause to admire it.

"It looks bad," Eddie breaks into a grin.

"Really bad." I agree. "Now I'm going in, because I didn't even get to eat my breakfast."

"Okay," Eddie laughs. "I'll start shoveling the snow. We might need our driveway."

"You do that," I say as I go in. Once I've eaten, I settle down on the couch to watch TV. Christmas movies are being played left and right, but I settle on a horror movie that is somehow still linked to Christmas.

"Ah, horror movies." Eddie says as he enters, shutting the door behind him. His face is red with cold, but his green eyes are as lively and bright as I've ever seen. "You have the most Christmassy spirit of us all, I see."

"Duh. Sit down," I beckon to him, and he does.

"I'm sorry about today," Eddie mentions as we watch a girl meet her gruesome demise. "I'm just excited about Christmas. I didn't mean to drag you into everything I like to do. Thanks for putting up with it, though."

"Don't be sorry," I shake my head. "This just means I can blackmail you for something."

Then I smile at him.

"Eh, I don't mind," Eddie moves closer to me and he slings an arm around my waist. "After all, I kinda got roped into craziness when I married you. No blackmail can compare to that."

And he smiles back.

"Says the idiot running around like a child." I snort.

"You're the idiot who put up with it, so I can deal with that." Eddie fires back.

"...I hate you."

"Merry Christmas to you, too, Yacker."