So this is my first fan fiction. I have been reading these for a long time now, and I have had this story idea floating around in my head for a little while, finally decided to do something about it :) I have had to edit out the lyrics I originally had in there, the song is Taylor Swift's Come Back, Be Here. Really nice song, I recommend listening to it when you are reading. Anyhoo, without further ado, here it is!
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Except for some furniture. And an annoying cat. OH and some food in my cupboards. But I certainly do not own this amazing book series.
I met him the summer before my senior year. My best friend Izzy's cousin. My first love. Jace, the Golden Boy. We had all gone to the Lightwood's beach house for the summer. Izzy's older brother Alec and Jace had finished their senior year, and were spending as much time with their family as they could, then travelling the world as a gap year before going off to college.
Jace and I hit it off straight away, and became inseperable. He made an observation a few days after we met, we were sitting on the pier eating ice cream when he said he couldn't believe we had never met before (Izzy and I have been best friends since she saved me from some bullies in grade 2). I couldn't help but agree, and wonder to myself how things might have been between us if we had met sooner.
Izzy and I went to the airport to see them off the day they flew out. Alec and Izzy gave us some privacy to say goodbye, and when we embraced it was like we were lost in our own little world. He gave me a sweet kiss, told me he would miss me, and that we would see how things go with us when he got back. I knew this was a lie, but I smiled and nodded anyway, trying to hold back the tears. The final boarding call came, and he left me with one last small, sad smile, right before I broke down and asked him not to leave me.
I held on until I got back home, I did not want anyone else to see just how shattered I was. I had managed to convince myself, as well as everyone around me that this was just a summer fling, some fun before a hard year ahead. That fact had changed quite drastically in a few short months.
I threw myself down on my bed, the sobs tearing through my body until everything hurts, my lungs, my throat, my face. But this was nothing to the emotional pain I was feeling. He was gone. I don't want to do this! It's too hard, missing him this much! Why did I let myself fall?
It's been four months now, I still think about him every day. I wonder where he is, and if he is thinking of me too, and needing me the way I need him.
I never knew I was falling in love until it was too late. If I had realised sooner, I probably would have cut and run. Love scared me. Especially knowing the one I loved was leaving me, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I wish I had been honest with him when I had the chance. He probably would have just pushed me away, but now I will always wonder – what if? Next time I won't play it so cool.
Sometimes I will forget, just for a little while, and when my phone rings, or a taxi pulls up to drop Izzy off, and my stomach starts to do flips, thinking that maybe you are back. I wish I could have gone with you now.
I thought the feelings would fade away with time. The pain was supposed to lessen, life was supposed to become easier. Apparently not.
It's been eight months since he left now. Eight months of torture. Izzy tells me they are in London at the moment. I wonder if it is as amazing as he had hoped it would be. Does he think of me at all? Does he need me?
Why? Why couldn't you just be an arrogant arse when we met? Well, I guess you were, but you also showed me your soft side, and that was my downfall. If you had just kept your hard exterior in place, I wouldn't be aching for you now, almost a year after you left me. Maybe it would have been easier if we had parted on bad terms, had a big fight or something. But somehow, I don't think so, I think I would still be feeling like this, if not worse.
It's been a year now. A year of turmoil, heartache and pain. Izzy told me you flew back in two weeks ago. She invited me to go to the airport with her to pick you up, but I couldn't do it. The wounds were finally starting to close over, and if I saw you, they would just be torn apart again.
Apparently you will be attending Georgetown University. The butterflies take flight, and a glimmer of hope starts to shine in me, that maybe with you going to the same college as me we may actually have a future after all. I try to squash that hope before it destroys me.
Izzy and I have gotten our own apartment on campus, we are in the middle of moving in and setting up. She has gone out to get us some lunch, while I continue to unpack the living room. There is a knock at the door. I get up to answer it, brushing the dust and dirt off my pants as I go. I open the door to find YOU there, in all your glory.
You smile at me and pull me in to a big hug. As you bury your face in my hair you whisper
"I came back, for you"
MY Jace. And I am complete.