Title: Pumpkin Spice Demon
Prompt: N/A
Pairing: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural - SPN
Rating: T for Teen – Language, Dean!
Genre: Comedy
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Dean Winchester was sure that he was still in Hell and this was a new form of torture.
Okay, maybe that's going a bit overboard – but so did people when fall decided to arrive.
Pumpkin. Spice. Everything!
Sam had convinced him to stop at a Wal*Mart for supplies. Generally, Dean stayed away from chain stores. If it didn't have a drive thru, he tended to not care. If Sam felt they needed anything from a store like the giant chain that had infected the world, his little brother would go himself while Dean lounged on the bed in their motel room.
This time, Sam had persuaded Dean to join him with a few loosely based prices on car accessories, his favorite flannel shirts and the promise of "Five dollar classic rock CDs." Dean was fully aware by this point that cars played music with Sirius Radio or MP3 players hooked into their dash, but Dean was getting by with his cassette that had a little string sticking out that plugged in to a battery-operated Disc Man. It was a little beat up considering when Sam had bought the two items and presented them to Dean, he had thrown them out the window... But having the ability to repeat his favorite songs over and over had won him over to the electronic device.
The artificial air made Dean's nose wrinkle as they walked in. Dean scanned around and sneered, "Let's get out of here fast, Sammy... Sammy... SAMMY?!"
It seemed Sam had taken off and left Dean to his own devices. Grumbling, Dean shoved his hands into his jacket and scanned for the sign. AUTOMOTIVES drew him in like a moth to a flame and he felt his feet start moving forward. The fly in the ointment came when people started blocking his path. It was like playing Frogger to avoid getting hit by little old ladies, soccer moms or plain old distracted people. The outfits some of them wore made him want to gouge his eyes out. He was so close to Automotives when out of nowhere, he was blindsided by a group of giggling teenagers on their cellphones. Spinning to avoid them, he was thrown off course and into the 'Multi-Purpose/Seasonal" aisle.. AKA HELL.
His nose was assaulted with about ten different ways to make "Pumpkin Spice" scent. Perfumes, lotions, body-washes.. Everything was coming together to make one heinous scent of 'pumpkin' and DEATH! He tried to breathe through his mouth, but he could TASTE IT!
"Dear God, get me out of here. CAS!"
There was no reply from his Angelic amigo, so he tried to make his way out of the seasonal craze haze.
"Dammit! I'm going to throttle him and Sam both!"
He seemed to be stuck in a complete loop of pumpkin spice. No matter where he went, he could not find the damn exit for this box of death by nasal assault! He caught a glimpse of AUTOMOTIVES but there was no exit to get there..
"Fuck this." He growled after twenty minutes of circling around. Bracing his foot on one of the shelves, he began to climb up.
"Sir'a. Im'ma have ta axe you ta come off'a that shelvin' unit."
He dropped down with a sigh and turned to explain himself, "I'm stuck in here."
"Ah don' rightly care. Climbin' on that unit ain't allowed."
He narrowed his eyes. This ragin' Cajun woman was going to meet a pumpkin spice death if she didn't tell him how to escape. She had her hair up in what seemed like cotton balls on her head. The blue of her Wal*Mart vest clashed with the blue shirt she had underneath. He could see her makeup flaking away as she continued to chew on her gum, the occasional POP breaking the tense air around them.
"Get me out of here and to the car section and we'll be fine."
"Ain't no one makin' you stay here, suh! Just walk on outta hur!"
His eyes narrowed and after a few moments she began to smirk, "Have a nice day."
She sauntered away and he turned to go out the direction she had given him only to see NO EXIT.
"HEY! HEY!"
But the employee was gone and he was trapped again. He wasn't allowed to CLIMB the shelf, no one said anything about going through it. Popping his fingers and psyching himself up, he ran full speed at one of the units...
Only to pop out into the middle of the aisle and run straight into an end-cap of Washer Fluid. He groaned and rubbed his face as a chocolate-stained toddler giggled at him. He was safe. For now.
Glancing back where he came, he shivered at the sign.
PUMPKIN-PALOOSA! Join us in the grocery section for more of your Pumpkin Spice favorites!
Dean seemed to wait forever after gathering what he needed. He even paid in the TLE area so he wouldn't get sucked back into the Pumpkin Pit again. After about an hour of waiting, he walked out of the TLE entrance with his items, dropped them in the Impala and went back through the front entrance. He had someone page his brother and Sam came five minutes later pushing a card loaded with everything. One look had Dean glaring.
"You're kidding, right?"
"PUMPKIN SPICE?!"
Sam laughed, "Dean, it's the season for it. Some of it's actually nice."
He followed his younger brother as he walked back to the car. Rummaging through the bags slowly loaded into his trunk, he sighed.
"You're one of THOSE people?"
"One of what people?"
"Pumpkin Spice GROUPIES!"
Sam scoffed, "I'm not that bad. Just a few things."
Dean raised his eyebrow in challenge and when Sam didn't back down, he started pulling things out.
"Body wash. M&Ms. Powdered coffee creamer. Air freshener. Is this PUMPKIN SCENTED TOILET PAPER!?"
Sam blushed and scratched at the back of his neck, "Maybe I did go a bit overboard."
"A bit? Sam, were you assaulted by a fucking pumpkin spice DEMON in there?"
Sam rolled his eyes and pushed the empty cart to a holder while Dean set to unwrapping one of his CDs from a packaging nightmare.
"What took you so long in there, Sammy?"
"The lines are terrible."
"Of course they are! They only have three open, EVER! Meanwhile, I was trapped in a box of hell with, and don't scoff, a demon."
"You really think there's a pumpkin spice demon?"
Dean shoved his jacket under Sam's nose, "Smell that?!"
"Smells like... Pumpkin. So?"
"Do I seem like the type to SMELL like that crap?! I don't even eat pumpkin pie but once a year. That's Thanksgiving and that's because it's the obligatory pie other than chocolate and no one makes REAL chocolate anymore. It's that sugar-free, Splenda-made, Gluten-free BULLSHIT!"
Sam laughed, "So you got trapped in Wal*Mart with a pumpkin spice demon? That's kinda harmless."
Dean growled and threw the Impala into reverse, "Never again, Sam. I will never again go to Wal*Mart."