A/N: So I read somewhere that in an interview Oda-sensei described Luffy's mother as having curly hair and being loud and strict. He also claimed to have drawn her at some point in the manga. I have no idea if either of these are true or if the blog I was reading just made them up, but it led to this headcannon... Plus Dadan looks more like Dragon's contemporary than Garp's to me.

She couldn't do it. Dadan huffed as she chased after the boy she'd unwillingly adopted, cursing her aching back, her swollen feet, but most of all cursing the two men who'd unknowingly put her in this situation.

Monkey D Garp, her old friend.

Dragon the Revolutionary, the only man she had ever loved.

The baby kicked hard. Dadan stopped running with a wince, rubbing her belly soothingly. "Quiet in there please. Mum's got a little monster out here already who's taking enough out of her." As always, the words were followed by another kick, then compliance. Her baby was gonna be a little fighter alright.

Little Ace waddled over, as he often did when she talked to her belly. He sucked his thumb as he touched where the baby had kicked. "Soon?" It was one of the only words he knew. As difficult as he was, the pirate brat was looking forward to having a younger sibling.

Dadan wasn't. She already knew that her child would be as much of a troublemaker as Ace, if not more so. Hell, Garp would probably decide to adopt him too and then where would she be? The bandit hoped Dragon had got her message. There were only two months to go.

As if in answer to her prayers, the door blew open. Dadan approached her lover as quickly as her condition would allow. Tears were in her eyes. "I can't do it Dragon!"

"I know."

Not hearing him, Dadan continued. "I thought I could. I mean, after Ace, another kid would be no problem, right? But I'm not mother material and this one's already feeling like a little troublemaker. Plus-!"

"I know." Dragon rested a hand on her shoulder and drew her into a hug. "It's okay. I'll be here until they're born, then I'll take them somewhere safe. As much as I wish it were otherwise, our baby and Roger's can't be raised together. It would endanger the both of them even more- and you."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. It's mine and Roger's. We're the ones the government hates. Don't worry; our child will be safe with my father. He promised me."

Dadan shook her head. "How can I trust him? You won't even tell me who he is."

"Because I don't want to endanger you even more if people come asking. But he's a good man, however odd he may be."

The bandit snorted. "I can handle odd. I handle as much odd as you do every day I'll bet. Just cause I ain't in your army don't mean I don't get my share of crazies. Is he strong? Can he protect little Lu from all the crap in this world until you change it?"

Dragon smiled. "That I can guarantee. I've met few men stronger, and even they fear him."

"Good."

xXx

"You bastard son of a feral bitch! I'm gonna kill you!" Dadan gripped Dragon's hand so hard she was sure she broke some bones. Magra assisted with the birth while Dogra kept Ace occupied. Not that the bandit cared if the brat copied her language, but the last thing she needed when she was in this much pain was a three year old asking where babies come from.

Finally it was over. Magra handed Dadan the child, a tiny boy with black hair and a round face. Even the toughest bandit would admit he was the cutest thing they'd ever seen. "What're you gonna name him Boss?"

"Luffy." Dadan handed the child to Dragon. "You'll keep an eye on him, won't you? Just cause I can't raise the tyke don't mean I don't care."

"Whenever I have time," Dragon promised. "I'll bring pictures too, if I can get any."

xXx

Ace only got worse as the years went on. After learning about his father he was full of resentment and pain. Dadan wished he would stop asking about Roger, opening himself up to the hatred of the ignorant. She wondered if her own son was going through the same thing, asking about his own highly-wanted father.

Aside from Ace things were going well. Dadan expanded her operation, getting more men and building a better house. Garp didn't come around too often and when he did he didn't stay long. Dragon visited once a year, though only in the dead of night so Ace and the new guys didn't see. Only Magra and Dogra knew of his relationship with their boss. The handwritten notes about their son's adventures only had one picture with them and it didn't even show the boy's face, but it was one of Dadan's most prized possessions. She could easily imagine her brat running around in his oversized straw hat, the terror of the chickens on whatever farm or something his grandfather was raising him on.

Dadan's pleasantly peaceful routine came crashing down one day when Garp came marching up the mountain, dragging a grumpy boy behind him. The boy was dirty and made of rubber- he didn't even try to conceal his Devil Fruit from strangers, too focused on escaping the old marine. Dadan didn't blame him; she would've loved to escape Garp too. She hid the smile that crossed her heart at the sight of the boy- like her own son, he wore a tattered, too large straw hat.

"I want you to look after this one too," Garp said with no pre-amble. "He's my grandson; name's Monkey D Luffy.

The boy pouted. "I hate mountain bandits!"

Like the hardened criminal she was, Dadan hid her surprise. She frowned as Luffy scurried off after Ace. "I didn't know you had kids, let alone any grandkids. I can barely take Ace as is; why in the Nine Hells would you dump another one on me?"

"Dragon left him with me, but I couldn't be around a lot so Makino the bartender was looking after him." Garp picked his nose. "Too bad she let pirates corrupt my adorable little guy. Damn Red-Hair... Your job is to sort him out, get this idea of being the next pirate king outta his head. He and Ace are gonna be fine, upstanding marines, unlike their fathers."

Ice. Dadan felt like her heart had been plunged into ice. "Dragon... Dragon the Revolutionary is your son?"

"Yep."

She could have come out and said it, told the marine about her and Dragon and their child. It might've been better in the long run. But maybe not. Dadan couldn't shake the feeling that if Luffy knew who his parents were- who his father was- that he'd resent them as Ace resented Roger. She couldn't deal with that. Shaking, Dadan prepared herself for the next long, grueling years. She knew from experience what it meant to love a child of D- not that she had ever shown that love. That part wasn't her forte.

xXx

When next Dragon visited Dadan had just gotten back from checking on three brats sleeping in a tree house they'd made themselves. She had to admit those traps were genius, however annoying. The bandit was exhausted. She eyed her lover wearily.

"Did you know?"

"That the marine who blackmailed you into looking after Roger's boy was my father? Not for certain, though I did suspect. I felt it rude to ask though."

"Our kid's a nightmare," Dadan grumbled, sitting on her bed. Dragon sat beside her and wordlessly began to rub her shoulders. "All three of them are. You know Ace and Luffy adopted a third one, Sabo? How'd I go from being a dishonourable discharge turned bandit to the mother of three? I ain't mother material dammit!"

Dragon smiled. "Keep telling yourself that."

Sighing, Dadan leaned on her lover's shoulder. "Should I tell them?"

"It's up to you. If it's all the same though, I'd rather Luffy not know about me until he's older. I don't want him going through the same thing as Roger's boy." Dragon ran his fingers through copper hair. "As for your half... You're acting as his mother anyways, are you not? Makino was a babysitter, friend, and big sister, but he never looked at her the way he does at you."

"With his tongue stuck out and one eyelid pulled down?"

"You know what I mean."

"I do."