This fic is in response to two challenges issued on the MC-Challenge List
(). For non-members, there is
also a website with the challenges and responses (-
challenge.tk/). Check it out.
Lily required an all dialogue fic with 300-400 words. Leggylover03 one with Aragorn, Elrond, possibly Legolas and the twins, with angst and any of the lines "What do you mean I smell", "He lingers so close to death" or "Now where did he run off to". The angst bit did not work out that well, but hey, I combined two challenges in one fic and I used all three lines!
Hope it makes sense. The stars indicate lapses in time
Hygiene Vilya74
"What do you mean I smell?"
"I *mean* if we were a day's travel behind a pack of Orc's they would detect your odour every time the wind turned."
"Well excuse me for being human. We perspire. That's how we regulate our temperature. Unlike *some* races I know that use the howling of the wind through the space between their *ears* for that purpose."
"Why, you arrogant human!"
"At least I'm not blond."
"Blo? Blo..?. blond?! What the heck is *that* supposed to mean?"
"Figure it out, genius. Once you're coherent enough, that is. You're crazy if you think I'm going into *that*. It's bloody freezing."
"I'm coherent enough to know you need a bath, Mr. Longshanks. And I say you're taking one *right* now."
"Hey, what? Heeeeeey!"
"Oh crap, that wasn't supposed to happen. Hold on! I'm coming!"
*****
"How was I supposed to know the melting mountain snows had made the current *that* strong?"
"I-I-I-mmm-mm g-g-ooo-ii-iing t-t-t-t-o f-flay yooou wiffa s-s-spooooon."
"See now you're not thinking clearly. A spoon is way too blunt for flaying."
"S-s-sloooow. V-very p-painf-full."
**** "And just how did he get into this state?"
"I don't know, my lord. He wasn't making much sense after I pulled him from the river and he lost consciousness soon thereafter. Humans are so frail. I mean the water wasn't *that* cold. Nor was he in it above ten minutes."
"He was in a freezing mountain stream in the dead of winter for ten *minutes*? No wonder he's got hypothermia!"
"Will he be alright?"
"I don't know. He lingers so close to death."
*****
"Forgive me, my friend. I never meant to hurt you this way. Please wake up. I could never live with myself if I caused your death."
"You should have thought of that before you pushed me. No use sniveling now."
"You're awake! Thank Illuvitar. You have no idea how close to death you were. The hypothermia. The frostbite. The pneumonia."
"No, no, I have a fair idea. I lived through it, you nift!"
****
"Son! I'm glad to see you're up. Come join us by the fire."
"Gladly. Pity I have to share the room with a known sociopath, though"
"Now son. He apologized more times than there are trees in all of Mirkwood."
"Gmf! Where are the twins?"
"Oh, they're taking a bath. Now where did he run off to?"
***********************************************************************
Lily required an all dialogue fic with 300-400 words. Leggylover03 one with Aragorn, Elrond, possibly Legolas and the twins, with angst and any of the lines "What do you mean I smell", "He lingers so close to death" or "Now where did he run off to". The angst bit did not work out that well, but hey, I combined two challenges in one fic and I used all three lines!
Hope it makes sense. The stars indicate lapses in time
Hygiene Vilya74
"What do you mean I smell?"
"I *mean* if we were a day's travel behind a pack of Orc's they would detect your odour every time the wind turned."
"Well excuse me for being human. We perspire. That's how we regulate our temperature. Unlike *some* races I know that use the howling of the wind through the space between their *ears* for that purpose."
"Why, you arrogant human!"
"At least I'm not blond."
"Blo? Blo..?. blond?! What the heck is *that* supposed to mean?"
"Figure it out, genius. Once you're coherent enough, that is. You're crazy if you think I'm going into *that*. It's bloody freezing."
"I'm coherent enough to know you need a bath, Mr. Longshanks. And I say you're taking one *right* now."
"Hey, what? Heeeeeey!"
"Oh crap, that wasn't supposed to happen. Hold on! I'm coming!"
*****
"How was I supposed to know the melting mountain snows had made the current *that* strong?"
"I-I-I-mmm-mm g-g-ooo-ii-iing t-t-t-t-o f-flay yooou wiffa s-s-spooooon."
"See now you're not thinking clearly. A spoon is way too blunt for flaying."
"S-s-sloooow. V-very p-painf-full."
**** "And just how did he get into this state?"
"I don't know, my lord. He wasn't making much sense after I pulled him from the river and he lost consciousness soon thereafter. Humans are so frail. I mean the water wasn't *that* cold. Nor was he in it above ten minutes."
"He was in a freezing mountain stream in the dead of winter for ten *minutes*? No wonder he's got hypothermia!"
"Will he be alright?"
"I don't know. He lingers so close to death."
*****
"Forgive me, my friend. I never meant to hurt you this way. Please wake up. I could never live with myself if I caused your death."
"You should have thought of that before you pushed me. No use sniveling now."
"You're awake! Thank Illuvitar. You have no idea how close to death you were. The hypothermia. The frostbite. The pneumonia."
"No, no, I have a fair idea. I lived through it, you nift!"
****
"Son! I'm glad to see you're up. Come join us by the fire."
"Gladly. Pity I have to share the room with a known sociopath, though"
"Now son. He apologized more times than there are trees in all of Mirkwood."
"Gmf! Where are the twins?"
"Oh, they're taking a bath. Now where did he run off to?"
***********************************************************************