A/N: So I'm playing my Pokémon game—Diamond version, if you want to know, though I've owned (and beaten) at least one game in each generation, exempting the Pokemon Dungeon series that's come out—and I realize that there's a whole bunch of weird things in this series. So here's a collection of drabbles from any and all versions. It should be relatively clear which version it is, but if it's not, it probably doesn't matter all that much.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN POKEMON. These scenarios all come from my own warped, twisted, and strange mind. :D

Scenes of Stupidity: A Pokémon Parody

Scene One:

Decisions, Decisions…

"I don't know about this, Roger…." I eyed the tall grass dubiously. "This doesn't seem like a good idea."

My childhood rival rolled his eyes. "Aw, come on, Dawn!" He grabbed my wrist and yanked. I stumbled after him into the overgrowth, nervously staring at the foliage as if expecting for it to leap out and attack me. Actually, I was.

"See, there it is!" Roger pointed to the suitcase that the professor had left behind. He turned to me, smirking. "And you thought something bad would happen to us."

No sooner had the words left his mouth than a group of bird Pokémon suddenly swooped down on us, Tackling and Growling at us like crazy. The suitcase fell open as we stumbled back. Three Pokéballs spilled out of the case, rolling lazily at our feet as we slapped at the Pokémon in terror.

"Pick one!" Roger shrieked.

"What?!"

"Pick one!"

I turned from the heated battle to stare at the three little Pokéballs. Should I pick the one on the left? Or the right? The middle one was nice, too. But which one…?

"Hurry…!" he choked out.

"Just wait a second!" I snapped back, slapping at a Pokémon as it got too close. "I'm stuck with this Pokémon for the rest of this little adventure! I don't want a sucky one! If I pick the water type, it'll be great against the first gym, but it'll be worthless for the second and besides, there's tons of water types everywhere. If I pick the plant type, it'll be a solid pick for the first two gyms and it's super easy to raise, but it's so weak against everything it'll almost not be worth it. But if I pick the fire type, it's super weak against everything, too, but there's no other fire types in this place except Ponyta and you've gotta teach it fire moves to make it worth anything. Roger, which one do you think…?" I turned around to see Roger collapsed at the bottom of a tree with swirly circles for eyes, completely KOed from his fight with the Pokemon.

I gulped and grabbed a Pokéball. Screw it.