DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GLEE OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS.
My friend, Miki (tumblr: a-glee-related-url), and I are writing this two part fic together.
Not much I can really say about it but please please review.
I am starkidlucy on tumblr.
Kurt Hummel-Anderson sat on his couch in the empty living room. The TV was on, but he wasn't really paying much attention to it. He couldn't tell you what was happening on the show, much less what the show actually was. He hadn't heard news from his husband for a couple of months and he was beginning to get very worried. It was starting to reflect in nearly everything he did, even his work was suffering.
Blaine had turned to the military as a way to get himself through school and they had taken him over seas after their new president declared a full out war. Every day was a living hell for Kurt. Just waiting. Waiting for a phone call. Or a letter. Or a visit. Anything. Waiting. Always waiting.
He gave a small jump as a tiny metallic sound was heard near the door. He turned his attention towards the source of the noise, it was the small slot being lifted so that the mail could be slid in. The mail that now sat in front of the door on the floor. He stood slowly and picked up the small pile of envelopes, looking down at them with a growing sense of anxiousness. He began to flip through them, tossing them onto the counter one by one, barely glancing at them.
Until- at the top corner of one envelope he recognized the familiar header. His heart stopped for a few beats as he immediately tore it open, shaky hands pulling out the paper contained as he was overwhelmed with dread. He tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat. Usually he only got letters that were hand addressed to him by Blaine. The last time that had gotten something formally addressed by the army was Blaine's deployment letter.
After a few deep breaths, Kurt forced himself to look down at the words that were typed up on the letter. His expression changed slightly. Even though the words on the envelope had been typed, the words on this paper were most definitely hand written. By Blaine.
My dearest Kurt,
This letter is going to be extremely difficult for you to read. If you are getting this, then I am sorry. I am so sorry. I will not make it home to you. First and foremost, Kurt, remember. I love you. So very much.
It's hard for me to write this to you Dearest, I'd love to believe that I'll make it through this war without a scratch and get back to you and Madeline as soon as I can, but I don't want to leave with nothing if worse comes to worse. I've given my parent's my funeral plans, I want this to be as easy for you and Madeline as possible. I do not want my death to be a burden on the ones I love.
The nights here were hard and lonely. Few men in my group are even married, so they cannot begin to comprehend how hard it is to leave a family behind. To leave behind the love of your life and your only child. The nights that no one understood- the nights that were the worst and I felt so very alone- I would lay there and think. And I would remember.
I would remember that first time, on the stairs. At Dalton. You remember, don't you? You could've stopped anyone. But you stopped me. And from that moment I knew that there was something special about you- but I didn't acknowledge it at first. I've thought of that day many times since then- far too many to count. By now I have come to a conclusion. It was fate- but I think we always knew that. We've known for years that we were soul mates- some thing always leading one to the other. You told me once that I saved you Kurt. But, the truth is, you saved me too.
I would remember Blackbird. That was when I knew for sure that I loved you. In that moment you were so open and vulnerable. And so very beautiful. I knew for sure that day that I was truly seeing the real you. And our first kiss was shared that day... And the many kisses since.
It is hard for me to write this. Thinking of the very real possibility of me not being able to come back home to you and Madeline. It breaks my heart just thinking about it, so I cannot imagine how you must feel right now. Again, I am so so sorry Kurt.
Do you remember our wedding? We thought it'd never happen, we'd figure they'd never legalize it in Ohio so we could get married surrounded by our friends and family, but if finally was, and we were married as soon as you could plan a wedding wonderful enough for us. I still remember you and Rachel sitting in your parents' kitchen arguing about color schemes. But more vividly I can see you, how gorgeous you were that day. God Kurt, I know you don't believe in God, but that day I was convinced I was marrying an angel.
And when we were finally able to see our daughter, Madeline. You were so nervous, but when you first held her you looked at her like she were made of gold. We never thought that the two of us would be able to get a child of our own. But, we did. And she is an amazing, beautiful little girl.
I never understood why you insisted she had to have my genes. Why would you want my flawed DNA when she could have your lovely eyes and adorable smile? Luckily Maddie seemed to get the best of me, and she seemed to, somehow, inherit the best of you as well. I can't believe I'm going to miss so much of her life. I can't believe I'm going to miss you making her prom dress, or her graduation, or her wedding... Remind her of me sometimes.
I'm not scared Kurt. There's something waiting for me, and though I don't know what it is, I know enough about it to know it won't deny me for loving such a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent man. I'm going to be right there with you, watching you turn old and gray. (whether it happens when you're 50 or when you're 80, you will be old and gray at some point!)
I love you so, so much Kurt. Please don't stop living your life because of me. Promise me Kurt, that you'll try to move on. Promise me you'll put yourself out there again (Even though none of the guys will ever deserve you, but I never did either, so I have no room to criticize.) You deserve to be loved.
All of my heart,
Blaine Everett Hummel-Anderson.
Near the end of the letter, it had become harder and harder for Kurt to see the words for the tears that had formed in his eyes, the hand that wasn't holding the paper covering his mouth. He realised he was sobbing, loud heart wrenching cries, but he couldn't stop them. Blaine was gone. He was never going to see the sparkle in those hazel eyes again, he was never going to run his fingers through his curls, never hold the man in his arms and murmur anything and everything to each other, tracing aimless patterns on each other's skin. His husband was dead.
The paper slipped from Kurt's trembling fingers and onto the floor. The paper was soon followed by Kurt as he slid his back across the wall and found himself on the floor.
"Daddy?" he heard a small voice ask. Kurt looked up from the paper that lay inches from him on the floor to see Madeline standing in the doorway, looking scared and worried. She still wore her pajamas and her long brown hair cascaded in curls down her back, her eyes the echo of Blaine's, though amazingly there seemed to be some of Kurt in her alabaster skin and delicate features. "Daddy what's the matter? Is that a letter from Papa?" Her voice wavered nervously and she hesitantly crossed the room to hug Kurt, tossing her tiny arms around his neck.
Kurt scrubbed at his eyes, though new tears only flowed forward to take their place. "Oh Baby," He voice broke "Pa-Papa went-" He broke down in sobs. "Papa died." and suddenly he couldn't tell where his sobs ended and her wails began. They both sat like that for what seemed like hours.