A/N: My CSSS fic for auguststolemyheart on tumblr.
The invitation had been sitting on Emma Swan's kitchen counter for weeks, taunting her as the RSVP date got closer and closer. Understated, as was everything her sister-in-law did, no over the top candy canes or grinning Santas but clearly a summoning to Christmas celebrations that was not to be ignored. For the fifth time that day, Emma picked up the piece of card, hoping that this time the line that had been tormenting her since she first opened the envelope would have been magically rewritten. She held her breath while she read, but it was not to be. Right there, in Mary Margaret's flourished hand at the bottom of the invitation.
Can't wait to see you and Killian. About time we met him!
Nope. It was still there. The very definite expectation that she would not be attending this particular family gathering alone, the way she had every other one in recent memory. She would be bringing her boyfriend and no discussion would be entered into.
Which would be fine. Perfect even.
If said boyfriend was real.
Oh Killian was real. He was attractive and charming and funny and all round delightful. He cooked, loved small children and animals, was kind to the elderly and used Princess Bride quotes in day to day life.
In other words - he was perfect.
He was just not Emma Swan's boyfriend.
It had seemed the perfect solution when the questions started rolling in.
"Anyone special in your life, Ems?"
"You are getting out there? Not scaring men away?"
"When was the last time you got laid?" This last one was from her best friend Ruby, never one to mince her words in all the time Emma had known her.
To all these questions she had tried the vague and noncommittal approach but to no avail. Her brother and his wife started to discuss potential blind dates and Ruby had threatened to 'employ' someone to do the deed if she didn't start to change her attitude.
What better way to stave off their unwanted attention than with a boyfriend, Emma had thought? A work colleague, or an acquaintance turned into more, with the added bonus of living many many miles away from her friends and family in Storybrooke.
Killian Jones had walked into the elevator in their building and into her possibly ill conceived plans at the same time.
Neighbours for four years, Killian and Emma had built a friendship of sorts, founded on his well developed organisational skills and Emma's lack thereof. When she left her laundry in the machine for days, he dried and folded it for her. When she came home late at night with a burning need for breakfast for dinner, he was the willing provider of milk not curdled in the base of the carton.
Over the years, their friendship had developed to the point of semi regular Friday night movie marathons and Sunday brunches. He baked her a cake on her birthday and she spent weeks before his searching for a card with just the right punchline to remind him of his advancing years.
Emma was the first to admit she was not an easy person to be friends with. Life had not been generous in the 'smooth sailing' department and she eyed people warily, protecting herself with a sharp tongue and high walls. But somehow Killian had managed to infiltrate her barricades, just as her adopted brother David had done in her teenage years, and she valued his friendship more than she would ever admit.
Sure there had been moments when the thought of something more crossed her mind - the man was ridiculously handsome on top of being a capable and independent human being - but that kind of something more had never worked out in the past. And she was not about to risk a solid friendship for a few nights of hot sex and a lifetime of awkwardness.
They were friends and it was as it should be.
She knew his story...and he knew hers, to an extent.
Which is why, as she swiped away the Messenger icon with Mary Margaret's smiling face after reading yet another missive about how worried they were about her, how they wanted her to find someone, just to be happy like they were, his walking into the elevator had made him appear the answer to all her problems.
The plan formed in her mind as he made small talk about something he had watched on TV. She was only half listening, peppering the one sided conversation with 'Mmms' and 'Oh, yeahs?' as she applauded herself for her genius.
She would tell them Killian was her boyfriend. She had pictures, stories that were true or in need of little embellishment, she knew things about him, his history, his life. With minor white lies she could get them off her back and no one would ever know a thing. By the time they went through their "amicable breakup" in a few months time - avoiding the need to cut actual Killian out of her life when it happened - they would have moved on to new projects.
It was perfect in its simplicity.
Or so she had thought.
David and Mary Margaret bought it without question. She had mentioned a neighbour, had photos on her Instagram with him - why would they doubt it had become something more? Killian was none the wiser, the occasional Facebook comment or heart emoji from Mary Margaret explained away as a misunderstanding of the situation.
Until the comment that had been addressed to him.
The invitation to Christmas celebrations that he had accepted happily, delighted to have been included.
There were 3 days till the RSVP date - and not even she was brave enough to ignore a deadline set by her sister-in-law.
She was going to have to tell him.
He answered his door on her second knock, a wide smile on his face when he saw her.
"Were you standing behind the damn door?" she snapped. Trust him to be right there, robbing her of the chance to back out or even just to gather her thoughts.
As ever, her sharp edge did nothing to dampen his enjoyment of her obvious discomfort.
"To what do I owe the pleasure, Swan? Of course, it's always a delight to have you yell abuse at me, but I confess I was not expecting it this evening." She was just about to bite back in their usual style when the reason for her visit came to her again. Her shoulders slumped and Killian's eyes darkened with concern.
"I've done something stupid," she said.
"Well then, love, you had better come in."
There was a part of Emma that an an unhelpful urge to punch him hard as she told her story. He managed to maintain some semblance of dignity in the beginning, but his eyebrows began to take on a life of their own as her story progressed.
There was a definite smirk on his face as he held out his hand to stop her mid sentence.
"Let me get this straight, Swan," he drawled. "To avoid your family hassling you about your lack of significant other, you told them we were an item?"
Her eyes narrowed slightly at him. "Yes."
He rubbed a hand through his scruff as if in deep contemplation. "You and I, together?"
Emma's fist began to clench as she hissed through her teeth, "Yes."
Killian said nothing for a moment, nodding thoughtfully, his eyes sparkling with delight as Emma fidgeted on his couch. He was playing with her and she knew it, taking every advantage of having the upper hand and she wanted to hate him for it.
She couldn't, of course. Roles reversed, she would have made him suffer more.
"And now you would like me to accompany you home to Storybrooke to maintain this ruse among your friends and family? Deceive the people who took you in as a child?"
Emma raised her eyes to his, eyebrows almost to her hairline. "Correct." Before he could begin some new wordy retelling of her current predicament she snapped back, "Or we can just have a fiery break up now and be done with it."
HIs laugh was full and rich, especially when he threw his head back and really got into it. Emma could feel her self-righteous frustration with him dissipating as the sound filled the room - his deep, throaty laugh was one of those things that came to her in her reflective moments, when her mind wandered without its usual restraints to things that made her happy, the things she couldn't do without. She couldn't maintain the rage when he was laughing.
And he knew it.
Her whole body relaxed, all the tension that she had held in her joints as she admitted her foolishness seeping away. She looked at him, his eyes still twinkling but his smile softer. "Look, I know it was stupid, but they drive me nuts. I didn't know what else to do. I'll tell them the truth, you don't have to..."
Killian put a finger to her lip, silencing her. "On the contrary, Swan. It's a work of genius. Mildly insane genius, of course.."
"Of course," she interjected, but he silenced her again with a quirk of his eyebrow.
"It's perfect. We have evidence out there already, we know each other enough to be completely believable as a couple, and I am one of the few people on earth able to overcome your inability to perform basic life skills. Match made in heaven."
Emma was nodding all through this speech, though she cocked her head with pursed lips slightly at the last part.
"And I assume you were thinking big painful break up a few months later, I get the house plants and the cat to give them a fighting chance and your family leave you in peace to grieve the loss of the best thing that ever happened to you? They move on to other projects, Emma resumes her life and everyone's a winner?"
She tried not to consider how easily he all but read her mind. How well he understood her when she fought so hard to remain aloof from so many people in her life. "I thought amicable break up and we stay friends, but yeah, basically."
"Ah yes," he nodded. "That's far better. Much preferable that I am still around to feed and water the pets - and you - in some capacity." She punched him in the arm, hard enough to furrow his brow for a moment. He rubbed the spot pointedly, shaking his head at her although she could see the corners of his mouth twitching.
He reached out and took her hand, curling his long fingers around hers gently. She tensed, but he did not let go. "Come now, Swan, if we are to be a convincing couple we need to be able to touch each other. Practice makes perfect, you know." His hand was warm and Emma didn't hate the way it felt to be sitting close by him like this.
"So, you'll do it?" she asked quietly.
"Of course, love," he answered. He was silent for a moment, though Emma had the overwhelming sense that he had more to say. She felt the energy shift as he took his hand away, the mischievous grin returning to his face. "As I said, Swan, it's a stroke of genius. Especially the clever way you attached yourself to the most devilishly handsome fellow you know. If you are going to have a fake boyfriend, you should always aim for the best."
Emma rolled her eyes, secretly grateful for the shift in mood and almost certain it had been a deliberate play on his part.
"Well unfortunately Chris Hemsworth wasn't available," she joked, eager to keep the mood light as long as possible. "So you will have to do."
"Indeed. I will just have accept that my girl sees me as second to the God of Thunder. I suppose it's a small price to pay." Emma laughed and stood to go. She had an RSVP to reply to.
"I'll give you all the details tomorrow," she said as they walked towards his door. He opened it for her - ever the gentleman - and watched as she walked across the hall to her own. As she put her key in the lock, she turned back to him. He was slouched against his doorframe and he gave her a little wave as she pushed her door open.
"Thank you, Killian," she said quietly. "I do appreciate it."
He nodded as she disappeared into her apartment.
Killian slumped against his front door, his heart racing slightly from the evening's events. It was possibly the most ridiculous situation he had ever encountered - and yet also the most like Emma in so many ways. Not for one minute had he ever considered saying no to her.
He was never going to deny Emma Swan his help - or his heart.
The challenge was going to be faking something that he had wanted to be real for such a long time, while denying the tiny spark of hope that being with her in any capacity was offering. Reminding himself that every touch and look and word that passed between them on this crazy adventure wasn't real to her, no matter how much he meant every one.
Killian Jones had no doubt he could convince her family he was in love with Emma Swan.
Because he absolutely was.