They'll Never Know
Hey! I haven't written anything in a while and I'm trying to get back into the swing of things so here goes nothing! This is a total spur of the moment, make it up as I go along one shot thatI'm sat here writing at nearly midnight. And why the topic? Because I'm going through a weird phase and I just think Shadouge is the sweetest thing in the world right now... in a weird way. Anyway, hopefully this won't be a total disaster and don't be afraid to leave some feedback if you like it or even think something could be changed. I actually love constructive criticism, it's what's helped me improve my writing over the years.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned the Sonic characters, I really do! However, I don't. It really is a tragedy. They belong to their rightful owners :)
What do they know? The people who are so against him. They can't see him like this and they never will. They make their judgements based off of the small amount they can see, the charade he puts on to hide behind. They don't know him at all.
Some of them may know his story, but none of them can know how his past has affected him. If they wanted too, a few of them could empathise. You could ask them if they had ever lost a friend- maybe their friend moved, maybe they fell out and never rebuilt their relationship or perhaps their friend may have passed away. Find out how they feel about it. They would be at least a little bit sad I can promise you that. Then you would need to ask them to take the sadness they're feeling and multiply it by one hundred to understand what Shadow feels because very few people have lost a friend the way that he has.
Maria. A sweet and innocent girl who sacrificed herself to save him. He who the soldiers had come to destroy. He who was believed to be the ultimate life form, capable of destroying the world. Nothing but a weapon. Maria saw him differently and he loved her for that. He's never recovered from the day he saw her die, the day he saw her killed for being a good person. So who are the general public to judge? Can they possibly imagine the horror that he is forced to relive in his mind day after day? If they could imagine it, would they be able to stop themselves from being angsty and bitter towards others? Probably not but they don't care enough to try and understand him.
Do the people who think he's bad news and only cares about himself know what it's like to die? He does, somewhat at least. I remember that day on the ARK so clearly. The day that most people now believe was Sonic's victory when Shadow bravely gave his life for the planet that Maria had loved so much, just as she had given her life for him. I remember how Sonic had walked in alone, holding only his bracelet. I couldn't find words. He had been my ally, my friend, someone to talk to and now he was gone. Just like that. I've never felt more relief than the day I found him sealed inside a pod in Eggman's secret base. I didn't understand how he wasn't dead but I didn't dwell on it too much, I was far to happy to have him back.
How many people know what it's like to wake up one day with no idea who they are with their only memory being the terrified screams of a young girl in pain? Very Few. If they were told that they had to do a strangers bidding to find their identity and get their life back, would they? Probably. However, these people look at everything he has done and focus on only the bad things, not stopping to think of the reasons behind them.
I don't think he really minds that he's an outcast to society. In fact I think he prefers it this way- being feared and not bothered by people and followed by fan girls the way that Sonic is. I think he likes the peace, only letting his thoughts be heard by people that are important enough to him. I guess that means that I am, after all there are some things about him that nobody knows except for me. Only little things, but things that the rest of the world will never hear. For example, I know that his favourite colour is red and he likes the winter because it's more of an excuse to stay indoors and away from people who don't understand him. He says he likes to be alone with people like me. Completely trivial things I know, but the fact that he takes the time to tell me these things makes me feel special in a way. It makes me feel like I mean something to him.
Of course, I never really know with Shadow. Nobody will ever mean as much to him as Maria did- and still does- and I know that for a fact. I understand completely and I always listen no matter how many times he wants to tell me about her over and over again. Love like that can't be erased. He tells me that I have a lot in common with Maria, he can see the same thing when he looks in my eyes that he could in hers. The first time he told me that I had to try my best to fight off tears. Being compared to Maria is the closest to an 'I love you' that anyone could get from Shadow. I agree with Maria's point of view completely. No matter what people think, Shadow is more than a weapon. He has a mind, a conscious and a heart, weather he shows it or not.
I'll admit that when I first met him, I only saw what other people saw. His shell is thick and near impossible to break, but once you do you realise that you had him all wrong. I know this more than anyone else ever could. I've stuck beside him through thick and thin and I've vowed to never leave him, but I think that's more for my own sake. I don't know if I could live without him anymore. Thankfully, I don't think he minds me being around too much, most of the time at least. I'm reminded of this every time he wraps his arms tightly around me and tells me how much he needs me to be with him or when he presses his lips to mine, ever so softly and sweetly. He tells me he's never felt anything like this before, but what is 'this'? He can't have fallen for me, he wouldn't let himself. He wouldn't risk the hurt. I think he just finds comfort in the fact that I'm always with him and I won't be going anywhere. Ever.
I may know him better than anyone else, but I still don't know everything about Shadow the Hedgehog. Maybe in time I'll figure him out. All I know is that he isn't the killing machine everyone thinks he is. If he was, would he be beside me now as I lay here in bed? Holding me close to him so gently it's as though he's afraid I'll break any second? No. Simple as that.
I move even closer to him as I hear him mumble something in his sleep. I can hear his steady heartbeat, feel his warm breath on my cheek. Proof he's a living creature, not just a weapon. He subconciously hugs me tighter and lets out a content sigh. It's moments like this when he makes me feel so safe, as if all is okay in the world and nothing could ever hurt me.
He stirs in his sleep, mumbling something about Maria as he often did. Nightmares no doubt, he always got them ever since I first met him. It was always the same dream.
"Shh, it's okay" I soothed, stroking his chest as I did. He jumped at my touch and began to wake up.
"Nightmares?" I asked him softly. He nodded in response and took my hand in his. I gave him a sympathetic smile which was soon covered by his lips as he leaned down to kiss me, as gentle as always. I loved how he did that. Any other man with the chance would be trying to get much further than that. In fact, they probably wouldn't even bother to let me speak they'd just get straight to it. This time however, I decided to take control and lightly ran my tongue across his bottom lip, asking him for entrance. He gladly accepted and I slid my tongue into his mouth. I won't lie, it was nice but I would have been just as satisfied with just a hug or holding his hand or even just a meaningful conversation. It didn't matter what we were doing, it just mattered that I was with him because I loved him. Simple as that. I loved the man who everyone feared, thought bad things of and ran from. The man who most people won't ever listen to or take the time to understand. No matter if I think these things or not, I still wasn't prepared for the words he said to me when he pulled away from our kiss:
"I love you, Rouge. So much. Promise me you'll never leave. I may seem like I can, but I don't know if I can face the world alone".
I tried to stop a tear from escaping my eye but I couldn't help it. He reached up and wiped it away. I may do all I can to be good to him but I wasn't worthy of those words, not from him. He was so perfect in my eyes that I couldn't get into the heads of the hundreds of people who disliked him.
"I promise" I replied before saying out loud the words I've kept in my heart for so long: "I love you too".
He kissed me again, more passionately this time, suddenly showing all of the emotions he'd kept bottled up for so many years. I could feel his anger, his sadness, his hatred, but I could also feel happiness, hope, love. All his thoughts and feelings seemed to be put out on display for me to see and feel for myself, just from that one kiss. Just from knowing he loved me.
Although many may hate him or fear him, I know they're wrong. They can keep thinking whatever they want, but I know there's more to him than the eye can see. You just have to want to see it.
Okay I apologize for the cheesyness and general badness of that but I hope you at least semi-enjoyed it or it helped you put off your homework for another few minutes of something ;)
Remember I love reviews even more than Rouge loves Shadow (yes THAT MUCH!... sad I know!)