It was a dark and stormy night. The outside air was dry and crisp. Not a sound could be heard except for the parade down the street. The only sound that could be heard was the wind hissing through the other wind. It hadn't rained in weeks and it was so dry you could tell. The puddles on the ground splashed. There were even twice now on there.
He closed the window and put his pants back on. The crisp autumn air felt good on his junk. He turned to the bed . The sexy girl wore a tiny negligee. You could almost see a hint of nipple, but not quite. Sam Winchester grabbed a red Sharpie and drew a nipple on the silk negligee. There, much better. The girl snorted and her breasts jiggled. Sam bumped then with his hand and they jiggled some more. Sam giggled. Then he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her violently. Woah! Her breasts were everywhere! This was so hot. Sam took his pants off. Then he put on a different pair of pants. They were invisible. Sam was so wet right now. He gently nudged the girl and woke her up.
"What the fuck! Who the fuck!? How the fuck did you just fucking fuck... Fuck!" Ruby seemed angry. She looked down. "Did you draw a nipple on me?"
"What? No! Of course not. That must be demon blood. Here, let me get that for you." Sam reached over and started rubbing her breast. "Yes... I'm just getting this red mark off." Sam continued to rub her breast for the next twenty minutes all the time staring at Ruby with his dead eyes. "You remind me of Rory Gilmore," he said.
"I remind you of a teenage girl? And this turns you on? Sam, I know I'm a demon and all, but that's a little creepy even for me."
Sam could tell he was losing her. It was time to do something drastically sexy. Sam whipped it out and spun it around like a windmill! Ruby started laughing hysterically with delight. Then she started pawing at it like a cat. That really turned Sam on. Sam felt like he was ready to explode. "Oh no! Taco bell!" Sam ran to the bathroom as fast as he could. When he was done he came back out naked from the waist down. Ruby was so hard right now. Sam started rubbing his nipples til they were dry as the rainy night sky. Then he touched Ruby's breasts again. He liked how they weren't on fire like his last girlfriend's. They felt like a bag of jello. He wished they felt more like salad. Sam loved salad. Hello, mister boner! How nice of you to join us! Sam named his raging erection "Dean," but not for the reason you may think. It was named after his brother.
"How about we do something sexy tonight?" Ruby asked in a sexy moan.
"Too late!" Sam yelled. "And boom goes the dynamite."
"Oh, Sam. Every time..." Ruby was PISSED OFF. EVERY FUCKING TIME! SON-OF-A-BITCH! Oh, well. Maybe she could just make the best of it. "You know," Ruby began. "We could still do something just for me..." Ruby stood off and began to take off layer after layer of think, flannel clothing. Then she was naked and Sam liked to looked at her breasts. Then Sam stared intently at her vagina. "So," she started. "Do you want to give me a super sexy night?"
Sam laughed. "Ha ha ha ha! Nope!" Sam crawled under the covers and went to sleep, spent. Ruby stood there dumbfounded and started to cry. Was Sam no longer attracted to her? Did he no longer love her? Her world began to crumble as she imagined the worse. But you know what? She's a demon, so who cares want she feels!? Fuck you Ruby! You tricked Sam! You deserve all of this! Cry! Cry! We will bathe in your tears!
Sam slept like a baby. Sometime during the night he peed the bed. Sam was so wet right now. Also, Sam was a hunter who hunted the supernatural.

THE END