She was losing. The prosecutor had a strong case and no matter what tricks she pulled out he had the evidence, the jurors and the judge.

She had lost. Now it was only a matter of waiting for the verdict for it to be official.

Walking out of the courtroom, feeling defeated and a little lost -What was she doing?- she felt so lonely. There was no one to second chair, or someone to comment the case with, no second opinions or any sort of help. Starting over was rough. Not that she had needed anyone before... or maybe she had? It was a balance. A little aid and input from others and a little of her own.

To say the truth, it was mostly a lack of confidence and concentration. Suddenly there was so much to do at the same time: call the clients, set a meeting, arrange the paperwork, do research, go to the courtroom and put it all together. She didn't have her full self while facing the judge, she was a thousand places at the same time, not to mention all of Peter's campaign stuff that gathered along at the top of the pile.

She had just get out of court and was checking her phone at the exit, when suddenly someone's gaze fell over her. She turned to face it and couldn't believe her eyes. That honest and reassuring smile, short and straight-but-turning-curly hair -it wasn't always like that, had he been doing something on it?-, and the eyes, she still couldn't tell what exact color they were. He was now walking towards her, reaching out, starting the conversation.

"Hey" He said, extending for a while on the e, trying to keep up the smile.

"Finn!" Was her response. She couldn't disguise the happiness, the relief that had fill her when she saw him. After such an awful week (month, actually) this came as sunrise after a storm. It was Finn, a safe place. If only for a short period of time.

"It has been so long since we last met. When was the last time? was it in your apartment?" There was amusement in his voice, but also interest.

"Yeah, you said goodbye and meant it"

"I... yeah. I shouldn't have... it was a little drastic, wasn't it? I mean. It has been so long, a lot had happened"

"It had! what a year can make"

"A year! phew. Time flies"

"It does"

She was now staring at Finn more closely, trying to see the consequences of time on him. Did he now have some stubble? Were there more wrinkles? Was that a new haircut? No, he was the same. Same wrinkles in the corner of his lips, same cut and shave, same tired but eager eyes and same old suit and familiar tie, if she was not mistaken. He decided to interrupt her train of thoughts.

"So what's new with you? You're good?"

"Yeah! yes. It's great, it's fine" Finn was raising a questioning eyebrow. He wasn't buying the cordial bullshit others had swallowed pretty fast for the past month "No, it's terrible. Really crappy, actually? I'm pretty sure I lost the case I was just now defending" She was smiling though, she couldn't help it, being still in the rush of this encounter, suddenly her issues seemed light and unsubstantial.

"That's not good. Who are you working with now?"

"Nobody. Worked for some time with Louis Canning, big mistake. Now I'm by myself, exploring how it is to do it all! How do you do it, huh? It's not as pleasant as you made it seem when you went solo"

Finn laughed, a short natural giggle.

"No! It is not easy at all! I'm glad I transmit that zen and all-in-control look, though" He said in a relaxed manner, staring at the ceiling and then back at her.

"How about you? Very busy?" Alicia said to his curious eyes.

"You have no idea, or maybe you do now that you're working by yourself. I was just in a case of drug dealing. My client is innocent, but they were planning on going down with him. I think I got him though, the jurors like him"

"Drug dealing and innocent, tell me about it"

"That's right! Cary! How is he doing by the way?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. I think well, I hope he is well"

"You are not in touch? not with Lockhart, Agos and Lee? or is it Lee, Lockhart and Agos? They keep changing it, hadn't get used to the latest"

"You seem to be more in touch with them than I am" She said, raising her eyebrows a little.

"Worked a few cases together, but that was a few months ago. So you're not? How come?"

"mmm yeah, I don't know. Long story" She said, trying to drift away from the subject.

"Well... Listen" He hesitated. Alicia stared at him inquisitive "I just think... I think we should catch up. There seems to be a lot to tell. And, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, I have to get going. I have an appointment in..." He paused to stare at his watch "...exactly five minutes! I gotta tell the cab driver to fly. But I really want to keep talking, to know the long story. I'm... I'm sorry we got apart for so long, I don't think it was quite fair"

"I agree. You did a pretty good job at staying away, huh? I can't believe we haven't crossed paths before. But. I will love to keep talking as well"

"Well, it wasn't only me that stayed away. But yeah, let's focus on now. How about..." He was staring at her, reading her expression. She almost felt he was expecting her to ask the question for him "...dinner at my house? Tonight? Is quieter there, better to talk. Bars can be so loud. And I really want to hear the whole story of this past year. I don't know how busy you are, though. If you can't, we can plan another day or..."

"Perfect. I'll be there. Eight?"

He didn't answer right away, a few seconds passed until he changed his face of disbelief for articulate words.

"Yeah. Wonderful! I'll fix something to eat" He said, grasping his portfolio tighter and putting away his phone in his pocket, getting ready to leave.

"Okay. Bye, Finn" Alicia said, smiling.

"Not for long" He said as he turned around and headed to the street, turning back a few steps ahead to give her a big smile. She stood there watching him go, forgetting about all for a second, considering the line she had agreed to cross. It's just dinner though, she thought. Dinner with a friend, a really good friend she hadn't seen in a while. It deserved a dinner. It didn't had to be more to it than that, but yet she felt there was.

The way Finn had proposed it and reacted to her agreement. The excitement growing on her as she got ready to go to his apartment, the fact that she had never been to his apartment before -better a public affair, their meetings, public business-, the attention she gave to choosing the wine she was taking, the wonderful day she had had since their encounter. Grace had told her, before leaving for choir practice, that she looked so happy.

"Case went well?"

"Not really, I lost. But I'm good!"

"Yeah, I can see that. Well, whatever it is I'm happy you're happy, mom" She finished, kissing her goodbye and walking out of the door.

Alicia checked her watch: 7:30. She was leaving soon. She stared at her reflection, at the constant smile she had try to hid away all day but had fail miserably. It's probably nothing, she said to herself, just some drinks and food, friends catching up, anything beyond that would bring trouble and distance, just like before, and Finn got someone in his life, and she kind of got someone too, at least in Finn's eyes.

She was way beyond this. Why did she cared? Why did she felt like a teenager, climbing through the window of her room to meet a boy in the middle of the night? She laughed to herself. This was ridiculous. She was reading too much into it and disappointment will be following great expectations. Maybe this was fine too. Maybe she wanted everything to go as expected. She talked to Finn again! And he wanted to talk more to her, he didn't made any attempt to escape and she didn't either. Things were good just like that.

Author's note: This is the first of two parts. And the title is based on a song by The XX, hence the spelling of that word that seem to have a thousand different ways to be written!