Chapter One

Emily:

I can't breathe right now. I'm only thinking things to myself, it's not as if i'm actually speaking to someone right now, but yet I'm breathless. A combination of Naomi's beauty and the shock of her near death condition stop every gasp of air I reach for. I'm laying here in my dying girlfriends arms, overwhelmed by anger and love and depression. It's all gathered into a cluttered sea of emotions that is bearing down on me.

I only found out about my girlfriends terminal illness 28 hours ago. I was sitting in a coffee shop with my boss, having Chai tea. She was looking over my portfolio, talking about my receiving a possible promotion. 'My cell buzzed on the cushion next to my leg and i ignored it. Just thinking that now: for the first three times my phone vibrated, i ignored it. I ignored Effy's call to tell me that Naomi was in the hospital. Three minutes lost right there. If I had just picked up the phone when it first went off, I could have been on the plane three minutes sooner, and at her side three minutes sooner.

I put my tea latte on the side table and asked my employer to pardon me. I answered the call, speaking through gritted teeth, "Effy, not right now I can't talk I-" "Emily this is more important than whatever the fuck you're doing, would you please just shut up for a sec and listen to me?" God I have never heard someone, especially Eff, sound so emotional and urgent. Shocked, I didn't say anything. She got the cue and began to talk to me from thousands of miles away, slowly. Delicately. Like she thought I would break. The upset in her voice made my heart drop into my stomach. "Emily. It's time for you to come home now."

"What? Effy I'm in the middle of school and my job-" Again, she cut me off. "I get it Ems but this-. Naomi needs you." There was silence there, after those words, for what felt like minutes. As if Effy hadn't planned what she was going to say, and then was having trouble saying her unplanned speech. And then she spoke a small peep, raspy like a sob, but she said it in one fell swoop. One quick blow to get it over with. "Naoms is sick, she has cancer."

I couldn't breathe. My hand went up to my mouth in disbelief and I let out a small cry. At seeing this, my boss left the seating area and went up to the counter for another cup of whatever she was having. I was motionless. A million things were making my head spin. "How long?" I managed to spit out into the phone, tears streaming down my face, landing on my arms like salty cold bullets. "It's been quite a while. Months. Her doctors just concluded that her sickness is terminal.." At hearing this my eyes slammed shut, forcing even more salt bullets out of my eyes. My mouth quivered. Immediately I became angry with her for not telling me when she first knew but I couldn't address that then, when I was sitting awfully silent in that little cafe, with my ginormously important boss breathing down my neck, clearly wondering what the fuck I was blubbering my arse off about. The last I could get out was a hurt, "How could you, Effs?"

I heard her cry she was sorry right as I closed the phone.

Less than a minute had gone by and in that one minute alone, my entire life was flipped upside down. The love of my life, the life we shared, our love, slipped through my fingertips as i sat there for an extra long moment shuddering. Staring at my closed cell. I sniffled and quickly tried to pretend I had been calm and collected the entire time. I pretended a professional composed smile to the executive sitting next to me. "I'm sorry, please excuse me." I gathered up my handbag and albums clumsily and shimmied out of the space to the door.

Crying hysterically and fumbling with my things like a clown, I flagged a taxi as quickly as I could without getting myself run over. I got inside the first one before it even stopped and stuttered with such haste I'm surprised the driver understood what I was saying, "JFK as quickly as possible please. Erm wait the airport, JFK airport, It's urgent, Okay?" That jolly New York taxi driver just chuckled a little at me and my flubbering and started rolling. "It's fine dear, please just relax. I'll get you there as fast as I can if it's the last thing I do. Okay?" I sniffled like a mad man and wiped my face on my long sleeve. I had only been outside for a few moments before being in the taxi, but it was cold enough on that dark city street to realise now that I had left my coat in the coffee shop in such a hurry. The man turned the dial on the heat after seeing me in the rearview trying to catch a chilly breath. I soon felt the warm blow on my skin and then let out a breath I must have been holding for a while without even noticing. He left me alone after that, obviously knowing that I was an emotional wreck, and after a few silent minutes on the road he had turned on the quiet radio, crackling a bit, and then tuning into a beautifully soft voice singing "Young and Beautiful".