"So, who do you think tops?"
Kate turned away from the stack of papers sitting on her desk to look at Richard. "What?"
"You know. When they have sex." Richard took another sip of coffee from his cup. Well, technically Kate's cup, but they haven't been all that fussy about whose stuff belonged to who since their engagement. "Who do you think tops?"
"Who are they?"
This time, it was Richard's turn to look at Kate. "Why, Esposito and Ryan of course."
"…Castle, what?" Kate willed the mental images her mind had conjured up to go away. Not that they were entirely unpleasant (Kate had to admit, both of her junior partners were very good looking) but those two were like brothers to her.
"What, what? I just asked you whom you think tops."
"Why…what makes you think that they are even having sex, Castle?"
"Because, that is what people do when they are dating. Well, most people."
Kate shook her head and went back to her paperwork. "I don't know Castle. And what makes you think they're dating?" she asked, deciding to humour him. She was bored, filling in sheet after sheet of paper wasn't particularly interesting, her fiancé was here to entertain her so why not?
"Oh come on. Don't tell me you haven't noticed."
"Noticed what?"
"Ryan was wearing the same clothes he wore to work yesterday. And he came together with Esposito. Meaning, he was with together with him all night."
"So? They are partners, and best of friends. Probably crashed in his apartment for the night or something."
"But you see, Ryan is wearing Espo's tie, not his."
Kate smoothened the edge of a crumpled sheet of paper. "Should I be worried that you have been observing the boys' clothing?"
"I'm a writer. That's what I do." He took the already completed paperwork and helped her set it aside. "That being said, shouldn't it be your job too, Detective?"
"Okay, Ryan was wearing his tie. So?"
"Meaning, his tie was probably used to-"
Kate slapped his palm over Richard's mouth. "Castle."
"What? I'm just looking at the facts, that's all."
"Their ties could have just been mixed up. Besides," Kate bit her lip. "Wouldn't his handcuffs be more…practical?"
"Oh come on. Ryan bruises like a peach. Esposito probably didn't want to hurt him."
"If he didn't want to hurt him why would he tie him up?"
"That's not hurting that's just- wait, does that mean Javier tops?"
"First of all, they are not having sex." Kate steals his -her- cup and drinks the heavenly but slightly cold liquid. "And if they are, yes, I think Espo's probably doing the topping?"
"Really." Richard takes the cup back, frowning at the amount of coffee left in it. "I think Ryan should be doing the…topping."
Kate gives him an amused look. "And why do you say that?"
"Well for one thing, he's definitely got Esposito wrapped around his finger." He gets up, heading to the break room. Kate does the same, abandoning her paperwork in favour of a fresh cup of coffee made just for her.
"Really."
"Yeah. I mean, come on. Esposito adores Ryan. Don't you see all the looks he gives him all the time? I'm sure he'll let him top any day."
"You won't punch someone you adore."
"Wait what?"
Kate shrugs. "Captain Montgomery. Esposito might have told me about some actions he did that he's not too proud of."
"Doesn't mean anything you know."
"True that. But I think…Esposito tops. I mean, if they were dating in the first place."
Richard makes a non-committal noise, brewing his coffee. Kate steals it before he can take a sip.
"I mean, look at him Castle. Then look at Ryan. Obviously Mr NYPD calendar tops."
"Kate….did you sleep with him before?"
Kate nearly spits out her coffee. "Ah…"
"You know what, maybe I'd rather not know. Besides, Ryan has more power over-" he taps his finger on Kate's skull. "-here."
"But I'm sure Espo's more…you know…in bed."
Richard grimaces at the implication. "Now that just proves it."
"Don't be jealous Castle." She giggles at his expression. "Well, not too jealous."
"I still think Ryan tops." She takes the coffee back from her, and takes a sip of his own. It's too milky for his taste. After all, the coffee was intended for her.
"And I still think Esposito tops."
"Does that mean you agree that they are dating?"
"No. This situation is entirely hypothetical." Kate doesn't really mean what she says though. But in a way, whatever relationship those two might have was something she tried not to think too much about. Partners in forces and in love normally didn't tend to work out too well.
"Come on. The signs are all there."
"Whatever. Espo still tops. Hypothetically, of course."
"Nope, Ryan does."
"Espo."
"Ryan."
"Espo."
"Ryan."
"Es-"
"Hey. What, no coffee for me?"
Both Kate and Richard turned around, mortified to see Ryan leaning against the door to the break room. "Ah- of course. Let me just make you a cup right now." Richard does just that, and hands the cup over, eager to escape the Irish detective.
"Thanks, Castle. And, oh, by the way, it's whoever wins at Madden that gets to hold the reins."
Kates gapes at her partner's retreating figure.
"Called it. Now hand the money over dear." Richard has an ear splitting grin on his face.
"We didn't make any bets, darling."
Bonus:
"I think I just outed us to Castle and Beckett."
Javier spins his chair around to face his partner. "What?"
"I said, I think I just outed us to Castle and Beckett."
"Heard you the first time, Kev." He stands to take the steaming hot cup from Kevin's hands, ignoring his (adorable) pout. "How?" He cringes as he takes a sip. Way too much sugar, definitely a drink meant for his boyfriend.
"They were arguing about who tops."
"….I don't even know how to respond to that."
"So I told them."
Javier hands the cup back, frowning slightly. "Well, I suppose there could be worse ways to come out."
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