Voice in the Dark

Takeru...

Destiny. What a joke. I hate it and I hate everything associated with it. Destiny is only there to taunt you and lead you down a path of vulnerability before it finds the opportune moment to strike and tear you apart at your weakest. Fate is just as bad. I don't know about anyone else but I prefer not to believe my life and any chance of getting pleasure is in the hands of some supernatural being out there that controls my very being. Any belief I may have once held, any small glimmer of hope is now completely eradicated. I had to learn it the hard way and now I'll never forget it. There is no God. No God would be this cruel.

Hope. It had failed me. After everything I had done in its name, it failed me.

I listened to the dark; the sounds of the night; the hollow echo of the wind smashing against trees and the windows. Nothing encouraged movement from me. I could hear all of the sounds, the whispers around me but nothing stirred a reaction. I'm sure I was freezing, the cold autumn winds made sure of that, but I made no move to wrap myself up and defend my body against the cold and piercing air. There was also another feeling which had been stalking me for some time now. Ever since, ever since I couldn't say goodbye. It had been lingering for days now; nothing wo

uld get rid of it. I could feel its presence but it ignored my protests of wanting to be alone. Instead, it shut everyone else out.

I sat there, once more in the silent pit of my room. The four bleak walls that surrounded me were my shields from everything that held me intact ever since that day. It was my sanctuary, and my prison. I could hide here but I also couldn't ever leave however it was never once a thought that crawled into my mind.

I'm not happy, I wasn't... I don't know what emotions were there. I can't remember the last time I ate, I'm sure Mum came in at some point to convince me to take a bite of something. Sandwiches I think. My sleep pattern was distorted, I shied away from contact with the world outside the door that my eyes were now boring into. Happiness was a luxury I could no longer afford; it was a luxury that was torn away from me at its peak. It was a luxury I no longer cared for.

The lights were out and the dark glow of the moon radiated the apartment filling it with its silent wave of fear. I wasn't scared of the dark but I knew what it brought. Nobody was home I think. Mum must have left for work, usually she spends the time she's here pestering me to leave my room but it was quiet out there. She doesn't understand. None of them do. There was not a soul left in the building, not even mine. It was claimed by her.

Even Yamato dropped by the other day. At least I think it was the other day, everything seems to blur. Hours and days meld together. I know he was very busy and he shouldn't have bothered wasting time with me. He had another important matter to deal with at the moment.

Honestly, I don't know what I was anymore; the heart and spirit that once occupied this body and refused to succumb to negative emotions is long gone. The constant cheery mood and atmosphere I brought with me wherever I went was lost. It died when she... All that was left was a bitter casing, the shell of no emotion. I was now a weak and worthless man that had no worth.

Takeru.

The sound of the soft new drops of r ain clashing against the window didn't stir me from my trance; my eyes were focused trying to recreate the lost memories of her presence. Thinking about her made me lose control. Once she creeps into my mind, I can't stop it. It was not a rare event these days, not a day has passed where she hasn't harassed my memories. Keeping thoughts of her in my head was the only way I could keep her here with me and forget that she's gone. I was so desperate not to lose the touch of her soft hands, the sound of her attractive laughter, the taste of her bright red lips, the beauty of her face. I wanted to remember everything we did together; all of those walks we shared, the dates we took, the phone calls made. I wanted to rebuild her body and soul and this time I would make sure I never let her go.

Neither my mother; my family; my friends nor even hers could awaken me from my spell. Each passing day, I dove deeper into the black hole forming in place of my once warm heart. I was so far away that I could no longer hear the sounds of anyone who tried to reason with me. All those pleading sounds trying to stir a reaction were futile. I could sometimes feel the presence of others in the room with me but nothing could penetrate the dark barrier surrounding the shell. I couldn't escape alone nor could anyone save me. I was sure to become a lost cause. I was on my own.

The same words they told me that dark night continued to plague my thoughts destroying anything else that tried to enter. Those same words were frozen in my mind for the rest of my life; I could feel them slowly erasing everything else I knew. Removing them was something I was unable to do. Over and over again I would replay them trying to find some deeper hidden meaning, some way to tell me it wasn't true but nothing. She's gone. She's gone. She's gone.

But I could not accept it.

I'm here...

Takeru stood outside her locker after class like he always did. It was always his personal tradition to wait for her and then walk her home every day. He stood there waiting with his own bag already packed. It was pretty light; he completed all his homework for the weekend earlier in the day so saw no reason to take anything home. The next two days were free for him to do whatever he pleased.

He let his eyes wander around him to see the other students hastily grabbing their books and notes from their lockers, slamming them shut and running off to catch the bus and get home as fast as possible. Takeru smiled. Watching all the other single souls move around him only made him appreciate his relationship status even more. After tasting the sweet nectar of life's joys, he was unwilling to ever let go of it. She wasn't just his girlfriend; she was also his best friend although if she took any longer to get to him, that title may be revoked.

Ruffling his messy blond hair that would never remain still, he glanced at his watch and noticed that he had been standing there for fifteen minutes now. The corridor was slowly starting to quieten down as more and more pupils left the building. Takeru sighed. The only downside to him waiting was that his girlfriend could never show up on time. He occupied himself by pacing up and down along the corridor.

He sometimes thought that Hikari deliberately dragged herself from class just to annoy him. She knew how much he didn't like waiting around forever but he would never complain to her no matter how irritated he got. He hardly ever showed his frustration and she played on it.

What could she possibly be doing? It's Friday, nobody liked to stay in school more than necessary on a Friday afternoon. Well nobody except Hikari that is. She is the only person he knew that loved school and everything it had to offer. Takeru concluded that she was probably down with the newspaper club editing her photos for the school paper. He remembered when she arrived at basketball practice the other day to get a few shots. He admired her dedication to her work. Once she set her mind on a task, she had to complete it. It also helped that she was never without her camera.

"Hurry up, c'mon", he tapped his foot and groaned. He was getting agitated just wandering around waiting while everyone else was racing home.

He didn't mind staying behind late in school, but not alone. It made him feel vulnerable. After all the horror stories young pupils shared with each other about teachers living in the schools, he much preferred to remain out of them as much as possible. The company of his girlfriend was a more appealing thought to him than anything else, even more so than the rare sunshine with was radiating from outside. At least it distracted him from the thought of being alone.

He decided that he may as well go look for her and see what was holding her up when he heard the sound of footsteps running down the corridor. Takeru turned around and snickered when he saw Daisuke running as fast he could like there was no tomorrow. His hair hectic as always, flying in all directions only held back by the goggles given to him by his idol and Hikari's brother; Taichi.

"Hey Dai, what's the hurry?" Takeru stood with his eyebrow raised as Daisuke looked like he had no intention of stopping to chat.

"Oh hey, Takeru. Sorry can't stop. Detention."

Typical. "I'm sure that began nearly ten minutes ago. Have you seen Hikari anywhere?"

"Yeah I think I ran by her. Gotta go now, see ya."

Takeru sighed, he knew he would wait there all day and onto the night if he had to but it didn't mean he wasn't getting bored. He hung his head and just resigned himself to the fact he'd be stuck there until she showed up. He was about to crouch down and sit when he felt a pair of arms slip around his waist.

"Guess who?" His frown reversed and turned into a wide smile as he played along.

"Um... is it Sora? No, she doesn't go here. Hmm, maybe Miyako? Yeah, it must be Miyako." She dropped her hands as he turned around.

"Oi! Are you cheating on me? With them? I thought you had better taste." his girlfriend pouted and playfully swatted him on the arm.

"Never", he smiled and pulled her close, "you're the only girl for me, ever".

"Now that's good to know, besides you sir are all mine and mine alone". She giggled as her hands climbed up his back and curled around his neck.

He gazed into her dark chocolate eyes. They had this strange force over him. He couldn't help staring deep into the tunnels of her eyes. They were so innocent, so happy, so alluring. "Oh and by the way, I must have really good taste if I'm with you. And, I don't think you should let Miyako in on that one." He snickered as he leaned down and their lips met.

"You're the only girl for me, ever..."

You're the only guy for me.

Why did she have to leave me like this? What had I ever done wrong? I loved her... with all of my heart. No, I still love her and I always will.

I sat there atop my bed staring into the nothingness of the air as always. Images and flashes of her flew by in rapid motion. I miss her so much. I would give anything to have her close to me again. I've never been in so much pain before.

Well...

The events of Angemon's death returned and plagued my mind like always. The nightmares stopped a while ago except the odd night but on the whole, things were much better. I would always remember that day where Devimon's black claw edged closer and closer to me. I turned my head in fear knowing that I was going to die. I recalled Yamato's yells for me to get away but I couldn't. Then a miracle happened and Patamon finally digivolved. It was the best thing ever, his hand of fate quickly disposed of the fallen angel but it came at a price.

I shook my head disposing of the memory. I didn't want this, not now. What she did was more painful than Patamon's death and I didn't even think that possible.

"What's this 'Keru?"

"What does it look like, it's a promise ring".

"A promise ring?"

"Yeah, look I'm not proposing to you or anything but I'm giving this ring to you to show how much I care about you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You've changed me in so many ways and I don't think I can even try to understand what my life would be like if you weren't in it. I want to look after you day and night, in sickness and in health. I will never let you be sad. I will always be there to protect you. I... I love you."

"It looks expensive 'Keru... how did you manage to pay for this?" The last comment did not go unnoticed.

"Does it matter? I did it for you, to show you how much you mean to me."

That day, was the worst day of my life. It was supposed to be the happiest, where I pledged and devoted the rest of my life to her. Fate however, had other plans. It was never to be. The sick game was to continue and I was to remain alone without another beside me.

My eyes caught hold of something on the other side of my room. Draped over the side of my chair was what looked like a scarf, but I didn't own any scarves. I know I didn't and my Mum didn't buy me anything recently. I grabbed it and climbed back onto my bed. My eyes widened as I noticed the floral pattern design on it.

This belonged to her.

She must have left it over here that last time she was over. I remember her wearing it, I even commented on how it made her look even more cute than usual. Mum must have found it and assumed it belonged to Hikari and left it here for me to return... but I couldn't. Not now. I opened the scarf and wrapped it around my neck. I could feel the silk running smoothly around my fingers.

It looks good on you.

I shook my head, I had to stop this. Her voice, her face, everywhere I looked it was there. Even when I closed my eyes, she invaded my thoughts. There was no escape, but I don't think I wanted to.

If only she was here with me, I could wrap this around her neck...

It was my fault, I didn't help her. I could have stopped it but I didn't. Forever, that day is impaled on me and I know that what happened is entirely on me. I never wanted it to happen but I was too cowardly to help. I wasn't strong enough for her. I don't deserve her.

They sat together in the park, leaning against their favourite oak tree. Hands entwined with the other, they were so close and made sure they were always in contact with each other. Such was the way many of their afternoons were spent.

Takeru was slightly fidgety. While one hand was clasped together with the one of the girl of his dreams, the other was trembling and tightly clutching a small red jewellery box. It was too early and he knew it but something made him take it with him. He knew proposing would be too early and he already promised his life to her. Too much can be a bad thing.

"Are you okay? You don't look so good 'Keru." She moved her hands up over to his forehead and lightly brushed away the hair while checking his temperature. "You don't feel that hot..." His eyes glimpsed the petite diamond ring on her finger. He knew that she was his for as long as she chose to wear it. Now everyone would know she had someone who loved her dearly, no more hiding in the dark.

"I'm perfect, thanks to you." She blushed and retracted her hand but as it brushed passed his cheek. He held it there and clasped his free hand with hers. There will be plenty of time for a proposal later on in life, they were young and had all the time the world could give them. He wanted it to be special for her and this was already perfect. "You know I love you Hikari, right?"

"You never stop telling me, but I love you too." She blushed and their faces drew close and the space between them filled. Both lips met and both their attention was on the other. Takeru's hands encircled Hikari's waist as her hands bound themselves around his neck. Their kissing grew more passionate but as they were running out of air, they had to pull back.

Their faces were red and both were out of breath but their eyes never lost contact with each other.

Hikari had never been as happy as she was at that moment. There was nothing more she needed; she had everything in the world.

Takeru was the first to speak as he managed to catch his breath. "Wow, huh?" He smiled and laughed but quickly turned it into a frown as he noticed that Hikari was still out of breath. "Hehe, I wasn't that good now was I?" he teased.

Her hand was clutching her chest in some sort of death grip as her breathing got worse. Takeru was getting worried and all forms of teasing were lost. "Hikari... Hikari what's wrong? Talk to me."

"My... my chest... can't breathe. Help me..." She groaned forcing out her words. Her eyes were widened with fear. She did not know what was happening nor could she comprehend how to stop it. It was such an unnatural feeling to her. She couldn't breathe but she had nothing to cause this. Why was this happening to her? The unconscious ability of breathing now required lots of effort on her part but no air would enter her lungs.

"Don't worry, I'm going to get you help," Takeru was panicking now but tried not to show it. The last thing Hikari needed was to see him losing it, "try to keep breathing, deep breaths. I'll get help, don't you worry." He kissed her forehead and noticed beads of sweat forming. Her entire body was shaking and moving uncontrollably. "Hikari, please just hold on!"

He turned his head and dialled the number he wished he would never have to. "Ambulance please. Yes, I don't know. It's my girlfriend, she can't breathe. Help her, quickly please! Rose park. She looks like she's having some sort of fit. I don't know, I'm not good with this! Okay, I'll do that. Hikari?" He turned around and dropped his mobile to the ground.

"Hikari?"

The lifeless body on the ground stared into the cloudy sky now filling with light grey puffs of clouds. Her chocolate eyes were slowly losing life as everyone flew away from her. One by one, she lost her Mum, Dad, brother, friends, teachers, boyfriend. Her brain emptied and became an empty room. The blue of the sky was now gone and the trees turned white. Golden leaves that she lay atop now disappeared and everything else left her. The last thing she remembered was the distraught face of her boyfriend but nothing registered with her. She didn't know why.

"Hikari?"

...

"HIKARI!"

...

"Wake up, please wake up! No, no, no! Don't you dare!" He was shaking her trying to get a response, some form of reaction. He was rough but at this point he didn't care. He just wanted her to wake up and slap him for disturbing her nap. He wanted some sort of reaction, anything to tell him he hadn't lost her.

He swivelled around, his hands frantically wandering the grass and throwing aside dead leaves looking for his mobile.

"She's not breathing. She's not breathing!" He shouted down the phone at anyone who was listening on the other end. Nothing they said helped, the ambulance still hadn't arrived but at this point did it even matter? He was screaming now at anything and everything hoping and pleading that someone would hear and come to help. The park was silent except for his cries and at that moment he regretted coming here where nobody would find them.

He sobbed, cradling her lifeless body on his lap. He refused to close her eyes, refused to believe that things were over. His tears fell upon her cheeks and soaked them. She appeared to be crying which only spurned him on more.

"Please..." his voice was silent but no sound would come out. Despair overwhelmed what he needed to say.

...

"Wake up..."

...

"Wake up Hikari, for fuck's sake just wake up!"

Don't die. He touched his forehead against her own hoping to spark some form of life into her, to will her to move, to give Takeru a sign that she was alive. Her mouth was now shaped like a frown; in death she looked so sad. Even though he couldn't accept it, her frown broke him. She never responded. Her chocolate eyes stared into his black tear filled eyes with no emotion.

"HIKARIIIIIIIII!"

Please. I don't want to think about this. Stop, just stop! I can't think about this! I lost her that day. I lost her and I did nothing. She died all alone with nobody to comfort her. I had my damn back turned! Why did I have to look away? I was supposed to protect her, I promised her I would! Now because of me, she's gone and won't come back.

It should've taken me instead. A sudden cardiac arrest they called it. How could nobody have seen that? What idiotic doctor could miss it? The world is so advanced that they can do all sorts of stupid things such as creating a damn black hole but they can't cure something as simple as that. That was her death... it was so simple. I should've noticed something was wrong, she never told anyone. I should've seen it!

I need you Hikari. More than anything else, I want you back. Please, come to me, I can't bear this without you. I'm begging you.

I'm here.

I thought the tears had stopped falling. They hadn't stopped since her death and I was under the impression there was no more to give. Guess I was wrong.

I broke down. I was shaking uncontrollably and I'm sure I was freezing cold but it had no effect on me. All I felt was the loneliness her absence brought me. I had to steady myself, I was losing control. I gripped my bed sheets to try and keep myself upright but to no avail. I slipped and curled up into a foetal position on the bed. I tried to curl up into the tiniest ball and erase myself. I wanted to be deleted. Without her with me, what was my purpose?

Don't cry.

I could hear nothing amongst my wails. I repeated her name over and over and couldn't stop. The words just spilled out like a damn which was broken. I wished for some incantation, some sort of deal that could be made to bring her back. Anything, I was willing to resort to just about anything as long as I could return her to my arms again.

It hurts so bad, my heart which was built to keep me alive was causing me so much pain that stopping its beating would bring relief. Each pump of blood reminded me of the lost girl, what I had now lost. I clutched it trying to tear it out with my own bear hands but I could just not pierce my skin. I was too weak to do anything but cry. The bed was soaked and my clothes were damp but I had no reason to care. The very reason for living was gone so a few tears causing discomfort didn't matter.

Stop. I can't watch you like this.

I could hear it, that faint voice in the distance. Her voice, I missed that voice so much. It was like heavenly music to my ears.

I miss you.

I miss you too.

Is it really you?

I'm here.

Please come back...

I can't. I wish I could. So much, but I can't leave.

Don't you miss me?

Of course. I can't come to you but... I'll wait for you.

When can I come?

... There was no answer. She was gone. As quick as I drew her here, the quicker she was gone. Whether she was just a figment of my imagination or the real thing, I only missed her more. I needed her back, she made me live again.

From the depths of my very being, inside the soul that is long dead, I found that my life is no longer worth living. I heard the soft cries of my sweet little angel. The voice of the beautiful girl I once called my own reverberated across my mind and summoned me to her. The soft voice edged me to come closer, so much closer and to meet her. As soon as the decision was made, I realised it wasn't her - the sweet angel I once knew - but it was the angel of darkness calling me to my death.

But it was too late.

Hi there, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. This was my first attempt at writing fan fiction so I hope it was at least halfway decent.

Please review!