You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
"It's just that when I hear you talking about bearing all that hatred on your shoulders. I can… I can feel the pain too. It hurts so much. I can't ever ignore it."
The other night dear, when I lay sleeping
I dreamt I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and cried
Tan arms wrapped around Sasuke. filling him with a warmth inside he couldn't get anywhere else. He smiled, leaning back into his boyfriends chest. He could feel the little puffs of air coming from the blond behind him. He could hear the little soft breaths he was taking. He began to fall asleep.
Then he woke up.
Naruto wasn't there. There was no tan arms wrapping around him, no quiet breath in his ear. Sasuke could feel something wet streaming down his cheeks, and for the umpteenth time he cried, screaming into his pillow, just wishing, hoping, praying for Naruto to appear and take him into his arms and tell him everything was okay. That everything was just a horrible nightmare.
Naruto didn't come.
He never did.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
Sasuke was sitting, alone on the docks, the docks where he'd always sat as a child, looking at the lake. Suddenly he felt a presence beside him. He looked over to find Naruto looking back at him, a small smile on his face. "I'm really glad you're back Sasuke."
It was meant to make him feel happy, but Sasuke couldn't take it. He leaned into the blond's shoulder and cried. It was all too much. He just regretted all they'd missed so much. He'd give anything to go back, anything to undo all the hurt he'd caused Naruto. He just cried and cried. God, he probably looked so weak. Naruto didn't do anything but just rub his back and whisper to him, "Shh it's okay. It's okay." Sasuke didn't know why he was crying. He just was. "I'm so sorry Naruto. I'm so sorry I did this to you. God, if I could I-"
"Shh. It's okay. You're here now. You're all I need."
Sasuke nodded, but he was still crying into Naruto's shoulder.
"Naruto. Do you still think about dying with me?" Sasuke stammered. Naruto looked surprised. Sasuke wouldn't blame him if he didn't anymore. He was surprised Naruto had ever cared about him to begin with.
"Of course I do. You're my best friend."
There was that stupid word again.
Friend.
Sasuke hated that word.
I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me and love another
You'll regret it all some day
Naruto and Hinata seemed so wrong together. So weird, so clashing. Sasuke couldn't help but regard the Hyuuga with disdain. She'd taken what was supposed to be his.
Not that Naruto seemed to mind.
Maybe he'd never minded in the first place.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
Naruto never talked to Sasuke anymore. He was too caught up in fawning over Hinata.
"We'll die together." The words echoed in Sasuke's mind. He'd been such an idiot. Such a fool for ever once believing the dobe could ever love him, had ever loved him at all. He had reveled in the fantasy that Naruto cared about him, needed him even. That he was still important to somebody. Clearly that had been a lie. Everything Naruto said had been a lie.
You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me and love another
You have shattered all of my dreams
Sasuke and Naruto we're having a picnic in their old training field. The one where they'd first became ninjas. Naruto ate in a revolting manner, talking with his mouth full, getting sauce all around the edges of his mouth. "Chew with your mouth closed usuratonkachi." Sasuke sniffed.
"What!? Bastard, I will have you know that you're talking to the future hokage! You'd better mind your manners teme!" Naruto swallowed the food that had been in his mouth. Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"Hn. Dobe."
"ARGH! That's it! Don't make me-"
"Don't make you what?" Sasuke rose a single brow indignantly.
"Don't make me do this."
Naruto was suddenly inches from Sasuke's face, his arms on either side of him. He was practically crawling over him. Sasuke felt himself freeze. As the blond's lips pressed against his he was filled with a warmth he had never felt before, and he wanted more. He pressed back against the blond, only to open his eyes to a silent and empty room, with him lying in bed. No Naruto, no picnic.
Just loneliness.
The real Naruto was with Hinata. The real Naruto, who'd never cared for him.
Sasuke wished he could go back to sleep and live in his dream world, but the tears were already coming and one they started, he wouldn't sleep for hours.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
Naruto hadn't talked to Sasuke in ages. Whenever Sasuke approached him he was always with that stupid girl, Hinata. Naruto didn't care when he left the village. Hadn't told him to stay, hadn't held him close and told him it was okay, that he was forgiven for all the mistakes he'd made. That he was right there, that they were friends. Sasuke was hurting, hurting more than he ever had before, and Naruto was fine. Liar. He'd been lying when he had said he could feel Sasuke's pain. If he really could, he would be in agony right now. Yet whenever Sasuke saw him, he was happy and content. Sasuke had started dating Sakura. He didn't like it. He didn't like her. Hell, he didn't even like girls, not as anything more than friends. But it made Sakura happy, and that was something he supposed.
And then Naruto had proposed.
And Sasuke had left.
Naruto didn't even seem to care that Sasuke was gone. It hurt. It hurt Sasuke more than anything that all the times he'd taken confidence in the fact that somewhere out there truly loved him he had been kidding himself.
He didn't say goodbye to anyone. There was no one left to say goodbye to. And soon Sasuke found himself wondering, what was the point of it all? Nobody loved him, nobody cared about him. His sunshine, his light, was gone. He might as well just join his brother
"I'll bear the burden of your hate and die with you."
Sasuke heard himself chuckling emptily as he ran the chidori'd katana through his heart. The pain he felt now was nothing. It was nothing compared to the pain of being abandoned by the one and only person that had ever mattered.
Sasuke slumped over the katana, dead.
In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame
Sakura knocked on Naruto's door. When he opened it she was absolutely ashen, and there were tears in her eyes.
"A recent team found Sasuke's dead body during a mission." She blurted out.
Naruto stood there.
And stood there.
Stiff and rigid, he stood.
And then there were tears rolling down his cheeks. But no sobbing. Just tears. He didn't have the energy to sob. He didn't even have the energy to cry. But he was doing it anyways.
They had found a note on the body. A suicide note. As Naruto read it he felt himself collapse. How could he have missed it? How could he have abandoned him. He would give anything to go back, but it was too late. He'd ruined everything.
"Sasuke… I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."
Dear Naruto,
you're a god damn liar
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
Naruto stood over the grave of Uchiha Sasuke. He came here every single day, stayed for hours at the very least. He stayed and talked to the grave as if Sasuke himself were there. He apologized a million times over, and it was never enough. It was never enough. This was all his fault. He was an absolute piece of shit, a scumbag. This was his fault. How could he have ignored his best friend. How could he, the only person that Sasuke truly cared about, just have forgotten him like that? And now it was too late. There was no undoing what he'd done, but unlike most, Naruto would never accept it.
"Hey Sasuke." Naruto said to the gravestone. He came here almost every day now. "The divorce finally went through. I thought you'd want to know about it." Naruto whispered. He paused before continuing. "I would give anything for you to come back." He whispered. "I would destroy the entire village if it meant I could see you again. I'm so sorry Sasuke. I… I never really told you I loved you. I never actually did. Because I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to be in love with another man and so I just tried to push you away. And it was such a horrible thing to do and now you're gone and you'll never hear me say I'm sorry." Naruto was crying now. "I have nightmares. I have so many nightmares, of you stabbing yourself and it's all because of me. And I yell at you to stop but you don't you don't! God Sasuke I never realized I needed you so much until you were gone. You were the only thing that kept me going and now you're gone." He began to yell. "Please just come back! Come back I'm beggin you. I'm so sorry, I'll never be able to say sorry enough! I just… I need you back Sasuke."
Liar.
"Die with you."
Naruto looked up.
"With you."
He could hear his own voice ringing in his head. He knew what he had to do.
Naruto and Sasuke. Yin and Yang. Sun and Moon. Together even in death.
As Naruto felt the blood oozing out of the stab wound in his chest he couldn't help but smile a little bit.
"I'll see you soon… Sasuke."
Naruto's body slumped over the knife that still had his hands wrapped around it.
Please don't take my sunshine away...