He hangs in the abyss between life and death, lying in a white robe on a white bed in a white room. His face is pale – paler than Renji has ever seen. Even against the starched sheets of the Fourth Division, Kuchiki Byakuya is white.
The windows have been opened, the last vestiges of winter disappearing. Sakura petals fall all around Seireitei, and a single pink one enters the room – a splotch of color against white nothing.
Heaven – or God – must be messing with their fates.
He remembers the first time Senbonzakura materialized. An armoured maiden masquerading as a warrior, pink blades rushing through rocks and boulders of the Kuchiki training grounds. He remembers how he ran back to Ginrei, child that he was, celebrating his newfound shikai.
This must be what they mean when they say that at the end of one's life their memories rewind, he muses to himself drily.
Renji leant against the doorframe of the ward, hair tied up as it had been since he was a Rukongai scavenger. His shihakushou was pristine, no longer full of holes and covered with blood.
Not his blood – his captain's blood.
His lieutenant's band was wrapped proudly around his right shoulder, the camellia insignia clean and for once, properly worn.
"Taichou, it's my first time wearing my lieutenant's band since three months after I became your lieutenant. Don't you think that's reason enough for you to wake up?"
He spoke to a silence that is unnaturally still.
His captain should not be lying there. Kuchiki Byakuya should not be on the precipice that might possibly bring him eternally away from Renji. From Soul Society. From Rukia.
It was a fierce and gruesome last battle Byakuya fought. Renji himself had been engaged with an enemy that refused to just die, and all he remembered when he finally managed to slay that goddamn Quincy was the howl that surged from his captain's throat. Renji had spun around, only to see Senbonzakura's pink blades embedded in Rukia's body. Limp and lifeless as a doll, and Renji from across the battlefield could hear the shock in Byakuya's reiatsu. It had soared, high enough to rival even Yamamoto's, and those pink blades from the bastard Quincy as well as the bastard Quincy had been torn apart.
The zanpakuto had clattered to the ground, useless.
Meaningless.
The battlefield surrounded that one scene of tragedy.
The unflappable captain of the Sixth Division had fallen to his knees, his sister in his arms. The tears had not come. Just him, cradling her, helpless and defenseless.
Until Renji had arrived. He had ignored all the blood, all the screams, everything that was creating a cacophony of war and madness, choosing to shunpo to his captain's side. He had almost been too late, the Quincy's sword had missed its mark by inches because of Zabimaru, but what scared the lieutenant most was the empty look on Byakuya's face as the sword plunged deep into his body.
It had been aimed at the heart, Unohana told him afterwards. Byakuya was fortunate that Zabimaru had altered the course of the sword.
"He will recover," she had said. "It only depends on whether he can muster the will to wake up."
He had not woken up.
Rukia was still in intensive. Senbonzakura's blades were famed throughout Seireitei for their fatality and precision, and even wielded by an unpracticed Quincy, this held true. It was a miracle that she had not died, the Fourth Division had come to conclude.
Then again, the Kuchikis tended to create miracles of their own.
She had not woken up.
Renji shuttled between the two wards, but his primary attention was on Byakuya. He knew that his captain should have woken up already, would have. His injuries were not fatal, not to Rukia's extent. So while Unohana tried every possible means to save Rukia, Renji tried every possible means to save Byakuya.
He had to wake up.
He had to keep fighting.
This was not the captain Renji feared. This was not the cold-hearted, prideful noble Renji despised.
This was the captain Renji respected. The captain Renji looked up to. This was the man who had finally allowed Renji to enter his heart.
This was the man Renji was going to save, no matter what it took.
Tendrils of Renji's reiatsu extended around the room, searching for Byakuya's. Under normal circumstances, all the captains tended to repress their own reiatsu to levels that required skill to be detectable. Byakuya was no exception – his reiatsu signature was as easy to detect as any member of the Onmitsukido, having been mentored by Yoruichi, but Renji was his lieutenant for a reason. He hadn't survived the past decade without being able to identify Byakuya's cool reiatsu from across half of Seireitei.
It's there, he suddenly realized in slight relief. Byakuya's subtle reiatsu was still there, which meant he still held some control over himself. What was worrying was that the signature was curled up into a defensive ball and was fluctuating.
While this might not have been much of a problem with other more inexperienced shinigami, Renji had become so accustomed to the cold and rock-solid reiatsu of his captain that any fluctuations in his reiatsu generally meant that things were wrong. Even as Renji watched from the doorway, his form slouched, he could sense the fluctuations become wilder, greater.
Trying to hold Byakuya's reiatsu in by exerting his own, Renji found himself soon becoming overwhelmed. It was true that Byakuya was easily one of the strongest Kuchiki clan leaders, even in this unconscious state.
"Taichou," Renji hissed as he tried to rein in the reiatsu waves, "Taichou wake up."
A lake. Sakura trees around them.
Byakuya watched as Rukia sparred with Renji, her eyes bright with concentration. Sode no Shirayuki glinted white and cold in the autumn breeze, and her movements were as graceful as any dancer.
She had come so far, he thought. So far from the girl who shook under the sheer power of his reiatsu, who couldn't look anyone in the eye when she spoke.
And then she was running towards him, her face lighting up. Nii-san, I didn't expect you to be here! Weren't you away in the Living World?
In that moment as he looked at her, he saw traces of Hisana in her features. But she had long grown out of Hisana's shadow, and become a true shinigami in her own right.
He smiled at her–
And it all fell apart. The trees burned, and blood was covering Rukia, her mouth still halfway through a sentence and he was alone in the carnage, black and burnt and no longer beautiful.
But behind him there was a hand, a rough grip and a familiar reiatsu: Renji.
He could not turn around, would not – he could not do anything to comfort Renji. Renji who had known Rukia longer, who had fought for her when he did not. Byakuya felt a piece of himself shatter as he stared at the space where Rukia had been standing just minutes before.
She was gone. He had lost her and he had not protected her and – he had failed Hisana.
There was no more reason for him to stay here anymore.
Renji stepped back as Unohana opened the door. The reiatsu from Byakuya had become nigh uncontrollable, and even Unohana was struggling to hold it in.
"Taichou," Renji swore. "Taichou, wake up, Rukia can't lose you now!"
"Abarai-fukutaichou," Unohana said. "I am putting Kuchiki-taichou on a depressant. I believe that he is having an internal struggle which is leading to such levels of fluctuation."
There. Movement. Among the trees, a silhouette appeared. Traces of cherry blossoms forming a trail.
Byakuya.
This voice. He knew this voice, all too well. "Senbonzakura. Show yourself."
I am here. All around you.
"Now is not the time to play, Senbonzakura."
This is your world, Byakuya. Look around.
Debris littered the ground, the proud sakura trees were barren and all around him was rain.
Byakuya. You can do better than this. Pull yourself together
"I killed her." Unbidden images of Rukia's bloodied body rose to the front of his mind, the weight of his failure hanging like a gloomy cloud.
She is still alive, Byakuya. She needs you.
His heart stopped. Rukia… still alive? "It was a fatal blow."
Go to her, Byakuya. There is still hope.
Renji was sitting at the foot of Byakuya's bed, doing his paperwork. The sakura trees were in bloom again, their blossoms once again fluttering into the room and all over the papers. He caught one on his finger and gazed at it. It quivered, pale pink and small in comparison to the size of his finger.
Normally Renji would be annoyed if his papers were messed up by wind or nature; the sakura trees planted around the Sixth Division made sure that sakura blossoms had an irritating tendency to make their way into his work. He had no idea how Byakuya put up with them, though sometimes he had the fleeting thought that Byakuya had done it simply to irk his lieutenant.
For the sake of Byakuya though, Renji simply let them be. They made for a rather tranquil sight, if he were honest with himself. In light of the current state of alert Seireitei was under, even the thought of tranquility seemed foreign.
"Taichou, it's about time to wake up," he muttered. The breath he let out sent the petal on his fingertip flying in Byakuya's direction where it finally settled on his chest, rising and falling in tandem with Byakuya's breathing.
As Renji's eyes returned to his paperwork, he subconsciously realized something was different. Byakuya's reiatsu had uncurled itself from its defensive position and was much steadier.
"Renji."
The word was hoarse and raspy. Renji, surprised, looked up at his captain, whose eyes were still closed and had not seemed to have moved. Was his imagination playing tricks on him?
He was about to settle back into his chair when there was movement. A fist clenched and slightly relaxed, a gentle furrow appeared between his eyes. Throat dry from hours without talking, Renji whispered, "Taichou?"
Dark gray eyes opened and closed. Renji could almost feel the struggle as bright light swamped Byakuya's vision.
"Renji."
The verbal affirmation of his captain's consciousness was enough to send him on his feet and open the door to call for Unohana.
"You're back, taichou."
Byakuya made a non-committal sound as he spread the edges of his reiatsu to seek out his sister. Sure enough, just as Senbonzakura had promised, she was there. Faint, but there.
"Rukia." It was a question and a statement all at once, but Renji had expected as much.
"Recovering, taichou. She was in intensive care but she has stabilized. Unohana-taichou expects her to be conscious in two days or so. 'Miracle of the Kuchikis', she says."
A small smile graced Byakuya's lips.