Chapter 1

Mordecai was walking down the hallway, to Bensons office. It was Eileens birthday in two days and he needed to borrow the cart to get last-minute party decorations. When organizing what to get, Rigby was assigned with getting the decorations but, unfortunately, he had completely forgotten and now, because he had collapsed on the couch from exhaustion of the amount of chores piled upon him that day, the "laborous" job was left to Mordecai, who had a genuine smile on his face as he approached his boss' office door.

"Benson?" He asked, knocking once on the wood. He waited a few seconds, only to have silence reply to back him. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he knocked again to get the same response. He rested a hand on the doorknob and it turned with ease, the door pushing open. "I need to borrow the cart this after-" He paused, being met with an empty office, the window half open and the light on his desk on, shining on an open book. Mordecai's eyes went straight the red cover of it and he let go of the doorknob to walk to it. "Huh, what's a book doing on Bensons desk?" He said aloud, having forgotten what he came here for.

As he stepped up to desk, he stared down at the pages in wonder. He picked it up gingerly and flipped the cover over, his left hand on the page it was open to.

Bensons Journal

It read on the front. Mordecai, now with his eyes wide, studied the cover, wondering why Benson kept a journal. Maybe it's for work. He thought, then flipped through the book. When he caught sight of his name, he stopped it at the page, holding the journal in both hands as he read the small paragraph.

6/24

Ugh those two idiots caused me so much stress today! First, they burn the cart then they trash the house! I just went to my office and almost broke down in tears. I was just so pissed off with them. Then I heard a knock at my door and when I opened it, Mordecai was standing there with a hot coffee and a bag of grilled cheese delux. Honestly, I just wanted to hug him. It was just so thoughtful of him to think of me through all of that.

Mordecai glanced up, suddenly remembering the moment. Why would Benson write that? It wasn't that important to keep in a journal. Despite this, he looked back down and continued reading.

7/25

Well, Audrey broke up with me today. She went back to Chuck, that then a whole bunch of curse words And to make matters worse, Mordecai and Rigby stuffed up my day. They kept slacking off and I almost exploded with anger. Luckily, Mordecai noticed and approached me and asked what had happened. Geez, this is so embarrassing, but I cried because I was so full of emotion. I actually cried and, and here comes the weird part, he HUGGED me to comfort me. Yeah, I was surprised at the contact, but I accepted it. And...it was actually kind of...nice to get a hug from him.

Mordecai felt his cheeks heat up. He had a sudden urge to close the book. This was not right and if he got caught, he'd be in deep trouble. But he kept reading.

Boring, boring, boring. He thought, flipping more pages. Seeing his name again, he stopped and began reading.

7/27

I honestly don't know what the heck is wrong with me. Everytime I see Mordecai, I just get this weird feeling in my gut and when he smiles at me, ugh, I blush. I fricken blush. Oh god, am I sick? I don't know. I'll have to think about this for a few days.

7/28

Well, I had a long thought about it and I still don't know what's going on. This has never happened to me before, but I'm not going to worry about it. Maybe it's a phase.

7/29

Nope, definitely not a phase.

7/30

Oh god, guess what happened today? When we were watching a movie for Game Night, his hand touched mine and I swear I felt my heart leap. Ok, this is not right. I need to go talk to Skips about this.

7/31

Talked to Skips and...he said I'm in love. Yip. I'm in love. WITH MY EMPLOYEE.

8/3

Now that I've found out what's up with me, I'm starting to notice things now. Thing between Mordecai and I. Oh god, just writing his name makes me shake. This can't...I refuse to accept this. IT'S A PHASE. It has to be.

Mordecai was shaking himself. What? Benson was...in love with him? He gripped the book tighter, his eyes scanning downwards for more information. A few dreams had been scribbled down, more denial and...a piece of hurried writing...

8/12

Ugh I can't stop thinking about him. I'm losing sleep, not eating and I think everyone's starting to notice my attitude change. He's on my mind constantly and he won't leave. It's killing me inside to think...maybe he doesn't feel the same way...Of course he doesn't. He's not gay. And neither am I. . . . Am I?

8/14

My mind was such a mess today. I almost burst into tears again, I couldn't think straight. I need to know...does he feel the same?

"Mordecai?"

The journal fell out of Mordecai's hands and he spun around. Benson was standing in the doorway, looking at him. An expression of surprise, anger and when the realization had hit him, embarrassment, were on his features. Mordecai was rooted to the spot, the journal open to the page he just read by his feet. Bensons cheeks went a bright red and he directed his gaze from the blue jay to the ground, Mordecai not knowing what to say himself as he rubbed his neck, his heart going a million miles an hour.

After a few minutes of heavy silence, Benson raised his head to look at Mordecai, a solemn look upon his features. He opened his mouth. Mordecai waited for the outburst, bracing himself for the impact, but instead Benson said something that made Mordecai's stomach flip.

"Well." Benson said softly. "Do you?"