A/N: Here is my first attempt at Kogan! It felt so awkward writing, but what else would I expect from only writing Kames?:) Soooo I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Do I own Kendall Schmidt? Oh for sure!
The wind whipped around my face as I stood in the pouring rain. I looked up at the grey, mucky sky as I felt my tears mix with the rain water. I have been standing here, for hours, trying to figure out what has happened to my life, but I feel like the answers are never going to come. I pulled my head back down, looking straight in front of me, squinting my eyes to look through the rain. Lightning struck the down in the distance. Lines of purples, blues, pinks, and yellows filled my vision as the sound of thunder rumbled in my ears.
I screamed into the sea of green that I am standing. The wilting flowers at my feet quivered as the wind blew harder and I dropped to my knees. Pulling my hands up to my face I tried rubbing the thick tears away from my eyes, but as soon as I would wipe one tear away, two more would replace it. I screamed again trying to get this pain out of my chest, but when I was done screaming the pain was still present. I heard the sound of leaves crunching behind me, and I prayed it was someone that was coming to shoot me out of my misery, but as the sound of the footsteps got closer and closer I shut my eyes tight, knowing all too well who it really was. My body coiled in response to a hand ever so lightly resting on my back.
"You need to get out of the rain," a husky voice whispered behind my ear. Don't let him get to you. Stay strong.
"You d-d-don't have any right to t-tell me what to do Kendall," I barely whisper, sobs slurring my words, but I know he heard me.
"Look, I know you have been going through a lot lately, but please don't be mad at me," he said moving around to in front of me. I closed my eyes not wanting to look into the bright, green vortexes he calls eyes.
"Don't b-b-be mad at you? How c-can I not b-be mad at you?" I stuttered, trying to recompose myself. I hate people seeing me week, especially him.
"I know Logie-bear, but you have to forgive me one day…"
"No! I will never forgive you for what happened!"
I started running. Trees, bushes, and different shades of green blurred in my vision as I sprinted away fromhim. Soon I hit pavement, but I still kept running. I ran until my chest heaved up and down painfully, and I had to stop because I could not breathe. The rain was still coming down hard and I felt like I was being crushed by each little drop of rain. I turned around to make sure he had not been following me, but there was no one in sight. I sat down on the sidewalk trying to pull myself together.
"This is all my fault." I whispered to myself.
"No it's not…" I turned around and saw him leaning up against a tree trunk, soaking wet, his eyes dark.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I said, slowly losing the grip I have on my emotions.
"Why would I want to do that?" he recomposed himself, acting as if I had just hurt his feelings, "I love spending time with you Logie-bear."
"Stop calling me that!" I screamed at him, tears starting to roll down my eyes again.
"Why Logie-bear?" he challenged me.
"Just STOP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I shut my eyes and curled up into a ball on the cold, hard pavement, praying for him to leave. I can't take this much longer...
"Logan? Logan, is that you?" said a voice from behind me. I lifted my head, and a smile came to my face.
"James!" I yelled as I got up and ran towards him. I jumped into his arms and he caught me in a strong hug. "How did you find me here?"
"You're like ten feet from my house…" he said confused.
"Really?" I ran all the way to James' house? That's like three miles from where I was…
"Yeah, do you need a ride home?" he asked, setting me down on my feet.
"Actually, could you drive me to my truck? I left it up at the school."
"Sure," he slung an arm around my shoulder and led us to his car.
He got in the driver's seat as I hopped into the passenger's seat. Being around James made me feel better, being around him made it feel like Kendall didn't exist. As he drove down to the school, we sat in comfortable silence, just listening to the radio. When we got to the school he got out and jogged around to my side of the car and opened the door for me.
"Why thank you, kind sir," I said, hopping out of the truck.
"You're welcome," his cheeks turned red and he looked down at his feet, "Umm… do you maybe want to hang out soon?"
"Sure, call me and we will plan something." I stood on my tippy-toes and kissed him on the check before I ran off to my truck. The rain was still coming down, but not as heavy as it was earlier.
I got in the truck and cranked the engine. The warm air hit my face as I watched James drive away through my rearview mirror. I looked down at my steering wheel and moved the gear from park to reverse, and as I looked back into my rearview mirror, my breath caught in my throat.
"What the f-"
"Don't finish that sentence mister!" he pointed a finger at me and shook his head.
"I can do whatever I want! Leave me alone Kendall!"
"Now, you know you really don't want that," he said as he hopped out of the bed of my truck and got into the passenger seat. "Are you going to drive?"
I didn't even yell at him to get out; I would just be wasting my breath. He is just as stubborn as the day I met him, and he is not changing. I pulled out of the school parking lot and started driving home. I could feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of my head, but I just kept my eyes on the road. He still hadn't said anything by the time I pulled up in the drive way and turned the truck off. Right as I started to open the door he grabbed my wrist.
"Logan, we need to talk…" he said, his voice taking on a dramatic tone.
"About what Kendall? What do we possibly have to talk about? I thought we let everything out the night you left me on the side of the road!" I yelled at him.
"I'm sorry about that night. I shouldn't have done that, and I want to apologize." He said looking down into his hands.
"It's been eight months, and you're just now wanting to apologize?" I said throwing my hands up in the air, showing my exasperation. "You're a little late." I finished sarcastically, wrapping my arms around me.
"Logan, you think I planned for all of this to happen?" he looked at me confused.
"No… It's, it's just too late, and you know that." I tried to hold my tears back, but there was no stopping them. I wiped at my eyes and I felt his hand grab for mine. I quickly recoiled from the touch and bolted out of the truck running into the house.
"I don't like you being close to James!" he yelled at me.
"What?"
"I don't want you getting close to James." he said looking down at his feet.
"You have no right to tell me who I can and can't get close to! We're over! I can hang out with James if I want!" I yelled storming back to him. The rain came down harder and he blurred in front of me.
"Logie, I-"
"Logan, honey! Come inside! You're going to catch a cold!" I turned around to see my mom yelling at me from the front door.
I turned around, wondering why mom hadn't told Kendall to come inside too, but he wasn't there anymore. Ugh! I trudged through the lawn to the house. When I got to the door I took off my coat and shoes, and I ran up the stairs to my room to change.
As I entered my room I was greeted by a smirking boy splayed across my bed. His clothes were... dry? How can that be? He was soaking wet just five seconds ago… I did not give it a second thought as I walked over to my stereo. I put in the CD that was closest to me and turned the volume on loud, hoping that he would get annoyed and leave. Unfortunately for me, he stayed right where he was, not even moving a muscle. He just sat there looking at me with that stupid, all-knowing smirk.
"Leave me alone!" I screamed for what felt like the millionth time today. Why can't he get the hint that I don't want him around anymore?
He just sat there and looked at me as if I had never spoken a word. I grunted as I walked out of my room, a pair of dry clothes in my hand. I walked to the bathroom and put on my dry clothes so I wouldn't get sick or anything. When I was done I started to walk down the stairs, and to my surprise, my mom was waiting for me at the bottom. What did I do now?
"Logan, have you been taking your medicine?" she asked, fear set deep in her eyes.
"Yes, I take it every morning before I go to school and right before I eat supper," I replied calmly.
"Ok…" she said unsure.
"Why?"
"James called me and told me about this afternoon. He said that you were sitting on the sidewalk near his house, crying your eyes out, saying, 'He's gone' over and over again," the fear in her eyes intensified and she gave me a pleading look, "You would tell me if something was happening to you right?"
"Yes mom. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go take my medicine right now," I said as I walked past her to the kitchen.
As the kitchen door swung closed behind me, I heard the TV cut on and the cushions on the couch creak; mom was occupied. I pulled the bottle of medicine out of the cabinet and took one pill out. It rolled around in the palm of my hand as I studied it. Who would have thought that one little pill, twice a day, could help a person that much? I clutched the pill in my hand as I walked over to the trashcan. Pulling open the lid, I extended my hand over it, and let the tiny little pill fall into darkness. I don't need help.
"Logan," I jumped at the sound of the voice, "I really wish you would start taking your medication…"
I turned around and saw Kendall standing in front of me; his face looking tired and wary. He walked over to me and put a hand on my cheek, cupping it, and looked deep into my eyes. At first his eyes were cold, and hard to read, but then the melted and I could see his love for me lying deep in them. I couldn't help but smile.
"Why Kendall? I don't want to get better…"
"Logie, you need to get better for me. Please?" he begged.
"I tried to take it, for five months. I don't want to take it ever again..." I said as I tried to close the space in-between us, but he backed away.
"I need you to get better Logan. I can't let you live like this anymore. Your mom is starting to notice that you haven't been taking it." he said as he rubbed his eyes in frustration. "If you really want me to go away, like you yelled at me earlier, then take your medicine and I will go away."
"I-I-I wasn't being s-serious when I said that earlier… I w-want you t-t-to stay." I whispered. He walked back up to me and wrapped his arms around me.
"Logan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I just want better things for you, better than this." He said pulling me back to where I could look at him.
"B-b-but I want this!" I yelled. He gave me a panicked look before he let go of me.
I heard the couch creek and my mom was at the kitchen door in less than two seconds. Her face was full of fear as she looked around the kitchen.
"What happened?" she asked out of breath.
"N-nothing mom, I was just f-fighting with Kendall." I said as I started to walk out of the kitchen.
My mom's face contorted in pain and she grabbed me by the arms. Tears welled up in her eyes and she opened her mouth to speak.
"Logan, sweetheart, Kendall is dead. You can't speak to him. He is gone."
"No mom, he was standing her before you rudely marched in!" I yelled at her. Why does she have to ruin everything?
"Logan! Look at me!" she demanded grabbing a hold of my face, "Kendall is gone. He died three months ago in a car accident. He's not here. Apparently you have stopped taking your medicine again… You just think you are seeing him. He's d-dead!" she broke down in tears and let go of my face.
The accident came flashing back in my mind.
Kendall and I at a party—Kendall getting drunk—Kendall making out with some random guy—yelling and screaming—he got in the car and tried to make me go with him—my voice telling him that we were over—him driving off—my mom telling me he died—the funeral—him being put in the ground—
I collapsed onto the floor, sobs radiating through my body. I felt my mom's arms wrap around me and I could hear her trying to console me, but my heart continued to break as I cried louder. But then something moved out of the corner of my eye.
It was him. It was Kendall; standing there plain as day, his green eyes sparkling with tears. I smiled up at him and he gave a small one in return.
I stood up, recomposing myself as my mom looked at me utterly confused. I stepped over her and made my way back up to my room, knowing that Kendall would be waiting there for me.
He is still here Logan. As long as you don't take your medicine, he will always be here. He will never leave.
I hope it was good...
Review and let me know how you felt about me writing something other than Kames:)